Post by Alice Wilde on Nov 27, 2004 19:13:01 GMT -5
“He Will Be Loved”
My lousy attempt at writing a Celinra/Pandora/Tragedy triangle fic.
Deepest apologies to those involved.
- - - - - - -
It was one of those lonely days on 667 Dark Avenue...the sort of days where you had nothing better to do than to sit under a tree, and think about your depressing childhood.
Tragedy sat under a tree and thought about his depressing childhood. He was widely regarded as the meaniehead and administrator of the forum. This was probably because he made the site, and because he loved very few people. And, if he didn’t love you, he wanted nothing to do with you, which, incidently, was the unofficial slogan of his childhood.
As you might have noticed, Tragedy rather disliked his childhood. His parents beat him with rocks everyday, and would continue to do so until they ran out of rocks, which they never will. When they didn’t beat him they ignored him because beating people for no reason is only fun if you don’t see the hurt in their eyes afterward.
Tragedy huddled under the tree, muttering something about how crappy holidays were. There was a disturbance in the bushes to his right.
“So, this is the Depressing Childhood Tree.” A girl’s voice rang out. Pandora stepped out of the bushes, followed closely by one her favorite lesbian lovers, Celinra.
“Yup.” Celinra said. She looked at Tragedy who was staring at them blankly. “Hi, Trag.”
“Shut up.” Tragedy said, automatically.
“Pffft. Nice.” Pandora said, rolling her eyes. Secretly, she thought the irritable runt was kind of cute, though from what she had heard he was a real jerk. “I can only assume that you’re the infamous Tragedy.”
“And, who are you?” He glared at her. He hadn’t seen her around the site, at all.
“This is Pandora, Tragedy.” Celinra said, coldly. “Duh.”
“Did I ever tell you that you were pretty, Cel?” Tragedy said, suddenly.
“No.”
“Well, you are.” He said. He stood up, and wondered if he should walk away.
“Don’t be stealing my woman, boy.” Pandora warned him, laughingly. “Rawr.”
“You’re pretty, too.” Tragedy said, shrugging his shoulders. “And, I think I know who you are now. You’re that chick with the thousand wives. God, what a ho.”
“Tragedy!” Celinra cried, angrily.
“Shut up.” He said.
“‘Shut up.’” Pandora mocked him, coolly.
“Stop it.” Tragedy said, turning to her.
“Make me.”
“I’ll kill you.” Tragedy offered, dangerously.
“You won’t.”
“I’ll kill you dead.” He said, narrowing his eyes.
“I’d like to see you try.”
“I’ll kill you dead with a spoon!” Tragedy snarled, jumping toward her. Pandora stepped back, shocked, while Celinra jumped in front of him, and pushed him back.
“Stop it, Trag.” She said, whiping out her katana sword.
Tragedy wrinkled his nose. “See you later, guyz.” He stalked off into the bushes, spiting on the ground as he did.
“Charming man.” Pandora said, looking after him. “He lures you in with the nonchalant ‘shut up’ and keeps you with the ‘I’ll kill you dead with a spoon’.”
“He’s just misunderstood.” Celinra muttered, lowly. “He had a very depressing childhood.”
“That would explain him being underneath the tree.” Pandora nodded in agreement.
“I think he might like you, though.” Celinra added, offhandedly changing the subject to something lighter. “He did call you pretty.”
“He called you pretty, too.”
“He loves me.” Celinra said, sighing. “Always has.”
“...What? Are you joking?” Pandora questioned, disbelieving.
Cel shook her head.
“Eww..”
Celinra rolled her eyes. “We need to get back to the forum. I think there’s an AIM chat going on.”
“‘Kay.”
*****
Tragedy walked into the AIM chat room, deep in thought.
He could hardly believe that someone had mocked him...the admin! He thought about fleetingly about banning that Pandora chick, then decided against it. He would just push around lesser members in the chat room to make himself better.
“Oh, no.”
Tragedy blinked. Sitting one of the couches in the room, Pandora uttered a mock-fear filled cry, and winked at the depressed administrator. Celinra sat on the couch opposite her, and smiled casually at him.
“What the hell are you two doing here?” He asked, stomping over to them.
“Hay, guyzzzz.” Pandora called to the rest of the room. “Tragedy’s here.” The rest of the room waved drunkenly at Tragedy.
“Hi, Targ.” Someone said.
“Shut the hell up.” Tragedy said, and glared at Pandora. “That’s not fair!” He whined. “You so just ruined my entrance.”
“Shut up.” Pandora said.
Tragedy’s eye twitched. “Celinra ...Celinra darling.” He turned to her. “Celinra. Celly Celinra. Cel...”
“Hello, Tragedy.” Cel said, rasing her eyebrow.
“Cel, let’s go make out.” Tragedy said, looking at Pandora out of the corner of his eye to see her reaction. She acted as though she didn’t even hear them. “Please, Cel, let’s make out.” He said, louder this time.
“Um...no?” Celinra said, looking over at Pandora, as if to say “WTF?”
“Please?” Tragedy asked.
“Give it up, Trag.” Pandora said, sipping a can of Coke. Tragedy looked over at her. “I know you’re just trying to make me jealous.”
“Shut the hell up.” Tragedy said, angrily. “I don’t need to make you jealous.”
“Cel says you might like me.” Pandora said, winking. “Is that true?”
“Yes. Shut up.”
Pandora dropped her Coke. “...What?” she asked. Celinra gave her an “I-told-you-so-look”.
Tragedy looked at his watch, and sighed. He had to go eat dinner.
“Wait, Tragedy, wait...” Pandora said, trying to stop him from leaving. He looked past here, and sweetly smiled at Celinra.
“Can you please come with me, Cel?”
She looked uncomfortable. “Um.”She gazed over at Pandora, who shrugged. “I guess.”
“Thank you.”He grabbed her by the arm, and jerked her out of the chat. Pandora sat back down, confused. Then, she sat back up, and walked out the chat, following closely behind Tragedy, and her lover.
*****
Tragedy and Celinra walked slowly through a random park.
“Trag...where are we going?” Shel asked, worried. It was beginning to get dark.
“A place. It’s pretty. You’ll like it.” Tragedy answered, shortly. He stopped. “This is it, actually.”
It was a simple park clearing with a pond, some ducks, and a trash can.
“It’s...lovely.” Celinra blinked. “I think.”
Tragedy nodded, then grabbed her by the shoulders. “Celinra, you know I love you, and I always have...” He whispered into her ear, locking her in a passionate and highly awkward embrace.
“Um...thankyou?” She said, highly confused.
“AHA!” Pandora cried, jumping out of the pond.
At the sight of her, Tragedy clung tightly to Celinra, and pressed his lips to hers. Pandora gasped indignantly, while Celinra shoved him away.
“Tragedy!” She yelled, shocked.
Tragedy smirked.
“You...you...” Pandora was at a loss for words. “I...I...”
“You what?” Tragedy said, happily.
“Can’t believe you’d do all this just to make me jealous. God, Trag, you know that I’ll love you just because. You don’t have to try to make me envious.” Pandora said.
“...Really?” Tragedy asked, eyes widening. “That’s hot. But, what about Cel?”
“What about her?” Celinra asked, sardonically.
“Do you love me too?” He asked, humbly.
“Sure, why not?” Cel said.
“Group hug, guyz!” Tragedy cried, throwing his arms around his newfound lovers.
“Group kiss, you guyz!” Pandora said, and I don’t know how it is possible to kiss two people at the same time, but they did it.
“We’re not lesbians, anymore, Pan.” Celinra said. “Now, that Trag’s in the penta...hexagon.”
“Trag can be our male lesbian.”
“Aren’t all men male lesbians?”
“The gay ones aren’t.” Tragedy pointed out.
There was a pause.
“What are the gay ones, anyway?”
“Straight women in men’s bodies?”
“Oh.”
And, the moral of the story, children, is...it is entirely possible to fall in love with someone that you just met, and their lesbian lover. Thank you for reading, and good night.
My lousy attempt at writing a Celinra/Pandora/Tragedy triangle fic.
Deepest apologies to those involved.
- - - - - - -
It was one of those lonely days on 667 Dark Avenue...the sort of days where you had nothing better to do than to sit under a tree, and think about your depressing childhood.
Tragedy sat under a tree and thought about his depressing childhood. He was widely regarded as the meaniehead and administrator of the forum. This was probably because he made the site, and because he loved very few people. And, if he didn’t love you, he wanted nothing to do with you, which, incidently, was the unofficial slogan of his childhood.
As you might have noticed, Tragedy rather disliked his childhood. His parents beat him with rocks everyday, and would continue to do so until they ran out of rocks, which they never will. When they didn’t beat him they ignored him because beating people for no reason is only fun if you don’t see the hurt in their eyes afterward.
Tragedy huddled under the tree, muttering something about how crappy holidays were. There was a disturbance in the bushes to his right.
“So, this is the Depressing Childhood Tree.” A girl’s voice rang out. Pandora stepped out of the bushes, followed closely by one her favorite lesbian lovers, Celinra.
“Yup.” Celinra said. She looked at Tragedy who was staring at them blankly. “Hi, Trag.”
“Shut up.” Tragedy said, automatically.
“Pffft. Nice.” Pandora said, rolling her eyes. Secretly, she thought the irritable runt was kind of cute, though from what she had heard he was a real jerk. “I can only assume that you’re the infamous Tragedy.”
“And, who are you?” He glared at her. He hadn’t seen her around the site, at all.
“This is Pandora, Tragedy.” Celinra said, coldly. “Duh.”
“Did I ever tell you that you were pretty, Cel?” Tragedy said, suddenly.
“No.”
“Well, you are.” He said. He stood up, and wondered if he should walk away.
“Don’t be stealing my woman, boy.” Pandora warned him, laughingly. “Rawr.”
“You’re pretty, too.” Tragedy said, shrugging his shoulders. “And, I think I know who you are now. You’re that chick with the thousand wives. God, what a ho.”
“Tragedy!” Celinra cried, angrily.
“Shut up.” He said.
“‘Shut up.’” Pandora mocked him, coolly.
“Stop it.” Tragedy said, turning to her.
“Make me.”
“I’ll kill you.” Tragedy offered, dangerously.
“You won’t.”
“I’ll kill you dead.” He said, narrowing his eyes.
“I’d like to see you try.”
“I’ll kill you dead with a spoon!” Tragedy snarled, jumping toward her. Pandora stepped back, shocked, while Celinra jumped in front of him, and pushed him back.
“Stop it, Trag.” She said, whiping out her katana sword.
Tragedy wrinkled his nose. “See you later, guyz.” He stalked off into the bushes, spiting on the ground as he did.
“Charming man.” Pandora said, looking after him. “He lures you in with the nonchalant ‘shut up’ and keeps you with the ‘I’ll kill you dead with a spoon’.”
“He’s just misunderstood.” Celinra muttered, lowly. “He had a very depressing childhood.”
“That would explain him being underneath the tree.” Pandora nodded in agreement.
“I think he might like you, though.” Celinra added, offhandedly changing the subject to something lighter. “He did call you pretty.”
“He called you pretty, too.”
“He loves me.” Celinra said, sighing. “Always has.”
“...What? Are you joking?” Pandora questioned, disbelieving.
Cel shook her head.
“Eww..”
Celinra rolled her eyes. “We need to get back to the forum. I think there’s an AIM chat going on.”
“‘Kay.”
*****
Tragedy walked into the AIM chat room, deep in thought.
He could hardly believe that someone had mocked him...the admin! He thought about fleetingly about banning that Pandora chick, then decided against it. He would just push around lesser members in the chat room to make himself better.
“Oh, no.”
Tragedy blinked. Sitting one of the couches in the room, Pandora uttered a mock-fear filled cry, and winked at the depressed administrator. Celinra sat on the couch opposite her, and smiled casually at him.
“What the hell are you two doing here?” He asked, stomping over to them.
“Hay, guyzzzz.” Pandora called to the rest of the room. “Tragedy’s here.” The rest of the room waved drunkenly at Tragedy.
“Hi, Targ.” Someone said.
“Shut the hell up.” Tragedy said, and glared at Pandora. “That’s not fair!” He whined. “You so just ruined my entrance.”
“Shut up.” Pandora said.
Tragedy’s eye twitched. “Celinra ...Celinra darling.” He turned to her. “Celinra. Celly Celinra. Cel...”
“Hello, Tragedy.” Cel said, rasing her eyebrow.
“Cel, let’s go make out.” Tragedy said, looking at Pandora out of the corner of his eye to see her reaction. She acted as though she didn’t even hear them. “Please, Cel, let’s make out.” He said, louder this time.
“Um...no?” Celinra said, looking over at Pandora, as if to say “WTF?”
“Please?” Tragedy asked.
“Give it up, Trag.” Pandora said, sipping a can of Coke. Tragedy looked over at her. “I know you’re just trying to make me jealous.”
“Shut the hell up.” Tragedy said, angrily. “I don’t need to make you jealous.”
“Cel says you might like me.” Pandora said, winking. “Is that true?”
“Yes. Shut up.”
Pandora dropped her Coke. “...What?” she asked. Celinra gave her an “I-told-you-so-look”.
Tragedy looked at his watch, and sighed. He had to go eat dinner.
“Wait, Tragedy, wait...” Pandora said, trying to stop him from leaving. He looked past here, and sweetly smiled at Celinra.
“Can you please come with me, Cel?”
She looked uncomfortable. “Um.”She gazed over at Pandora, who shrugged. “I guess.”
“Thank you.”He grabbed her by the arm, and jerked her out of the chat. Pandora sat back down, confused. Then, she sat back up, and walked out the chat, following closely behind Tragedy, and her lover.
*****
Tragedy and Celinra walked slowly through a random park.
“Trag...where are we going?” Shel asked, worried. It was beginning to get dark.
“A place. It’s pretty. You’ll like it.” Tragedy answered, shortly. He stopped. “This is it, actually.”
It was a simple park clearing with a pond, some ducks, and a trash can.
“It’s...lovely.” Celinra blinked. “I think.”
Tragedy nodded, then grabbed her by the shoulders. “Celinra, you know I love you, and I always have...” He whispered into her ear, locking her in a passionate and highly awkward embrace.
“Um...thankyou?” She said, highly confused.
“AHA!” Pandora cried, jumping out of the pond.
At the sight of her, Tragedy clung tightly to Celinra, and pressed his lips to hers. Pandora gasped indignantly, while Celinra shoved him away.
“Tragedy!” She yelled, shocked.
Tragedy smirked.
“You...you...” Pandora was at a loss for words. “I...I...”
“You what?” Tragedy said, happily.
“Can’t believe you’d do all this just to make me jealous. God, Trag, you know that I’ll love you just because. You don’t have to try to make me envious.” Pandora said.
“...Really?” Tragedy asked, eyes widening. “That’s hot. But, what about Cel?”
“What about her?” Celinra asked, sardonically.
“Do you love me too?” He asked, humbly.
“Sure, why not?” Cel said.
“Group hug, guyz!” Tragedy cried, throwing his arms around his newfound lovers.
“Group kiss, you guyz!” Pandora said, and I don’t know how it is possible to kiss two people at the same time, but they did it.
“We’re not lesbians, anymore, Pan.” Celinra said. “Now, that Trag’s in the penta...hexagon.”
“Trag can be our male lesbian.”
“Aren’t all men male lesbians?”
“The gay ones aren’t.” Tragedy pointed out.
There was a pause.
“What are the gay ones, anyway?”
“Straight women in men’s bodies?”
“Oh.”
And, the moral of the story, children, is...it is entirely possible to fall in love with someone that you just met, and their lesbian lover. Thank you for reading, and good night.