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Post by deanna. on Mar 26, 2006 19:58:50 GMT -5
EDIT: JULY 30th, 2006
Hello again! I've decided to continue where I left off on the 667 soap opera (I've had permission to bump this thread, don't worry).
So, here we go. The first new part from today is on page 6. So go there.
Okay, so all of that down there, that begins with 'Alrighty.', I wrote back in April. So the line down here is separating what I wrote today from then.
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Alrighty. I've decided to write a 667 soap opera. Someone probably wrote one ages ago that I'm not aware of, but whatever. BEWARE: I'm a pathetic writer, so it will undoubtedly be cheesy and sappy; but that is what soap operas are like, after all. I'm going to try and include as many members in it as possible, but don't be offended if I poke fun at you, because that's just the way I write.
The first installment will be up sometime this week.
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Post by Skeleton Key on Mar 26, 2006 20:40:17 GMT -5
...I'm not going to be in it, am I? *looks around frantically*
Because I'm easily offended.
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Post by Claire de Cerises on Mar 26, 2006 20:50:36 GMT -5
I'm sure you will. won't.
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Post by deanna. on Mar 26, 2006 20:54:29 GMT -5
You guys aren't in it yet, but I assure you, you will be eventually. This is only the first installment.
Scene: Dark Avenue Hospital.
PJ: *wakes up in hospital bed*
Doctor J: *walks in, sobbing woman at his side* Here he is, Mrs Jucker, I- Oh my god! He's awake!
PJ: Mum? *looks around* Where am I?
Mrs Jucker: Oh, honeybun! *collapses in tears* Oh, honey, you're okay! You're not in a coma anymore!
Dr. J: *kneels next to Mrs Jucker* There, there, Pandora, he's alive and well, no need to cry.
PJ: *still confused* Wha..how...where...
Dr. J: PJ, you were in a car crash a few nights ago. You remember your friend George, correct?
PJ: *nods*
Dr. J: Well, George was driving the car, and..and....he was drunk. And, as you know, driving and drinking do not mix. And George...he spun the car into the river, and - well, he died. You were very lucky, buddy boy, to live through the accident.
PJ: ....George...dead? No...no...
Dr. J: *nods sadly* Yes, George passed the night of the accident.
A loud crashing noise is heard from the hallway. The door to the hospital room bursts open.
Luis: PJ, mah homeslice! You livin'! We thought 'choo was dead like homesliced bread, yo!
Mrs Jucker: Luis, you idiot, get out of here! There we are, having a perfect Kodak moment, when YOU come running in!
Luis: *mumbles* Sorry, Mrs Jucker. *runs away*
Scene: The Rhaldeen Home for Abandoned Children.
Lady Linda: *claps hands* Chop chop, children! Dinner time!
Betsy: NO! I'm not coming to dinner, I'm not going downstairs, I'm not going ANYWHERE! I'm staying in bed for EVER AND EVER AND EVER!!
Lady Linda: Oh, come now, Betsy. You'll get hungry if you don't have dinner.
Betsy: I don't care! I'll lay here until I die! If I can't find my real daddy, life isn't worth living! *folds arms*
Dante: It's alright, Elizabeth, you'll find him someday. But dinner's not going to be around someday, so you better come and get some.
Lady Linda: Dante, do us a favor and shut your teenaged mouth for a few minutes, will you?
Dante: What?! What did I say?
Lady Linda: Nothing, Dante, I just need some time to reason with Betsy. Now, shoo!
Dante: Fine, fine, I'm going. *leaves*
Scene: Aunty Nora's Book Shop.
Charlotte: *walks in* Hey, Aunty. How's it goin?
Antenora ("Aunty Nora"): Oh, I'm fine, how're you, Char?
Charlotte: *shrugs* Okay, I guess. I just broke up with my boyfriend, Snicket, but we were only dating for, like, a day, and he was an idiot anyways. Got any new books lately?
Antenora: *points* Well, those vampire books were delivered here a couple weeks ago, but no one's bought any yet. Why don't you give them a try?
Charlotte: Okay. Vampires are cool. *goes over to the shelf and picks up Book 1* Huh. Only 6 bucks, eh? I'll take it.
Robert: *dives in front of Char* NOOO!!! Don't do it, Char, don't buy it! When you flip to page 276, you get sucked into the story!!
Charlotte: *rolls eyes* Robert, you're delusional. Go bother someone else.
Robert: No! This time I'm not joking, I swear! My girlfriend Megan bought that book from another store, and now she's turned into a vampire! I can't even make out with her without her trying to bite my neck with her fangs!
Charlotte: Robert, go home. No one wants you here, telling tall tales.
Robert: No, I'm serious, Char! We don't need people turning into vampires all over the place! Don't buy it!
Charlotte: Robert, I told you to GO AWAY!
Antenora: Hang on, hang on, kids, HOLD THE PHONE. It's just a book, and there's nothing wrong with it. Come here, child, and I'll give you the book for half price.
Charlotte: *grins* Okay!
Robert: Charlotte, no! Don't do it! *slow motion* NOOOOO!!!!
TO BE CONTINUED....
I know, I know, it sucks and is pathetic. But hey, it was fun writing it.
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Post by idiotj on Mar 26, 2006 20:59:18 GMT -5
I'M IN IT AND I DIDN'T EVEN NEED TO ASK. I LOVE YOU! And I have a fancy medikle degree!
Or do I? D:
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Post by deanna. on Mar 26, 2006 21:05:10 GMT -5
...That's for me to know and you to find out. Muahahaha....
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Post by Libitina on Mar 26, 2006 21:11:57 GMT -5
This story made me smile. Brilliant work. I can't wait to read more.
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Post by jemima on Mar 26, 2006 21:17:22 GMT -5
Heh, I love it, Deanna. It's too bad Dupin had to get drunk in the first part.
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Post by deanna. on Mar 26, 2006 21:39:20 GMT -5
Scene: Dark Avenue Hospital.
Libitina: *runs into PJ's room* PJ?! Oh my god, you're alive!
PJ: Yeah, I'm alive. Cool, huh?
Libitina: Yeah, really cool! I'm so happy!
PJ: Sucks about George, though, eh?
Libitina: George? Why, what happened to George?
PJ: Oh, I - I didn't know you didn't, er, know.
Libitina: Well, I've been phoning him all week. I thought he'd gone on vacation without telling me or something.
PJ: Oh, uh, well, he's not on vay-cay, Orangey. He..uh...he..well...George...he...he...died.
Libitina: *blinks* George...died....in the same sentence?
PJ: *nods*
Libitina: *blubbers* No, no, he CAN'T have died! He was only a kid! A boy! My BOYfriend...
Dr J: It's alright, Erin, he's in a happier place now...*glances above her*
Libitina: *sobbing* He was just a kid! Only a kid...
Scene: Aunty Nora's Book Shop.
Robert: I can't take it anymore! If you want to turn into a vampire, Charlotte, FINE. I'll leave you to it. *struts out*
Charlotte: I think he took too many happy pills this morning.
Antenora: Indeed he did. Now, go and sit in that chair and start reading the book.
Charlotte: Okay, Aunty. *sits*
Everything is silent for 10 minutes, while Charlotte takes interest in the vampire story.
Antenora: How's the story, hon?
Charlotte: Really good! I'm just at the part where Vampy McVampington is attacking Little Jolly Jonny with his venemous, bloody fangs.
Skeleton Key: *emerges from nearby row of books* Venemous, bloody fangs? Where?
Scene: The Giddy Grocer.
Snicket: *yawns* This job is sooooo boring. I'd rather be designing iPods with Steve Jobs.
Derik: 'Scuse me. C'you tell me where The Rhaldeen Home for Abandoned Children is, mister?
Snicket: Why do you care?
Derik: None of your BEESWAX, little mister nosy.
Snicket: *sigh* It's down the street to your left, and keep going until you can turn right, and you can find it yourself from there.
Derik: Why did I even bother asking you? You're just an ignorant little beast who has absolutely no clue what he's talking about.
Snicket: Boy, I oughtta -- *punches Derik*
Derik: *kicks Snicket in the groin*
Snicket: *cries* I'm telling Steve Jobs about this!! *runs away*
TO BE CONTINUED SOME MORE....
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Post by Celinra on Mar 26, 2006 22:03:22 GMT -5
This is very amusing. I've enjoyed it thus far.
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Post by Libitina on Mar 26, 2006 22:06:11 GMT -5
XD I laughed out loud at that last section. Also, Deanna, I love you for including me. *glomps*
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Post by Snicket on Mar 26, 2006 22:07:16 GMT -5
Scene: Dark Avenue Hospital.Libitina: *runs into PJ's room* PJ?! Oh my god, you're alive! PJ: Yeah, I'm alive. Cool, huh? Libitina: Yeah, really cool! I'm so happy! PJ: Sucks about George, though, eh? Libitina: George? Why, what happened to George? PJ: Oh, I - I didn't know you didn't, er, know. Libitina: Well, I've been phoning him all week. I thought he'd gone on vacation without telling me or something. PJ: Oh, uh, well, he's not on vay-cay, Orangey. He..uh...he..well...George...he...he...died. Libitina: *blinks* George...died....in the same sentence? PJ: *nods* Libitina: *blubbers* No, no, he CAN'T have died! He was only a kid! A boy! My BOYfriend... Dr J: It's alright, Erin, he's in a happier place now...*glances above her* Libitina: *sobbing* He was just a kid! Only a kid... Scene: Aunty Nora's Book Shop.Robert: I can't take it anymore! If you want to turn into a vampire, Charlotte, FINE. I'll leave you to it. *struts out* Charlotte: I think he took too many happy pills this morning. Antenora: Indeed he did. Now, go and sit in that chair and start reading the book. Charlotte: Okay, Aunty. *sits* Everything is silent for 10 minutes, while Charlotte takes interest in the vampire story.Antenora: How's the story, hon? Charlotte: Really good! I'm just at the part where Vampy McVampington is attacking Little Jolly Jonny with his venemous, bloody fangs. Skeleton Key: *emerges from nearby row of books* Venemous, bloody fangs? Where? Scene: The Giddy Grocer.Snicket: *yawns* This job is sooooo boring. I'd rather be designing iPods with Steve Jobs. Derik: 'Scuse me. C'you tell me where The Rhaldeen Home for Abandoned Children is, mister? Snicket: Why do you care? Derik: None of your BEESWAX, little mister nosy. Snicket: *sigh* It's down the street to your left, and keep going until you can turn right, and you can find it yourself from there. Derik: Why did I even bother asking you? You're just an ignorant little beast who has absolutely no clue what he's talking about. Snicket: Boy, I oughtta -- *punches Derik* Derik: *kicks Snicket in the groin* Snicket: *cries* I'm telling Steve Jobs about this!! *runs away* TO BE CONTINUED SOME MORE.... This is kind of weird. I have been trying to contact Derik about something, and he won't send me a reply. And why do I either die or run away in all these stories? I should have a more larger part. J was going to write a love story about me and Char, but she never did. I wonder what a happend...... And I hope Steve Jobs makes a cameo and kills somebody.
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Post by deanna. on Mar 27, 2006 0:35:57 GMT -5
Thanks for the compliments, guys.
This part might be short, because I'm tiiiired and I want to finish watching Walk The Line before I go to bed.
Scene: The Rhaldeen Home for Abandoned Children.
After half an hour of searching due to the ignorant clerk at the Giddy Grocer, Derik finally stumbles across the place he was looking for.
Derik: *knocks on front door*
Lady Linda: *opens door, a screaming Betsy in her arms* Hello, who might you be?
Derik: *clears throat* Uh, my name's Derik. Derik Miller.
Betsy: Miller? That's MY name! HE STOLED IT!!
Lady Linda: Yes, that is a strange coincidence indeed...what business do you have here, Mr. Miller?
Derik: Well, I was here to find my daughter...but I see I've already found her. *takes Betsy's hands* Betsy, sweetie? Do you remember me?
Betsy: No. Who are you, bumface?
Derik: Elizabeth...I'm your father.
Betsy: .....?
Lady Linda: ....Well then! That's quite a surprise. Right, Betsy? This is your daddy, Bets!
Betsy: .....?
Scene: Dark Avenue Hospital.
Freshie: *bursts in* PJ! HI!
PJ: Hey, Mel, how's it going?
Freshie: Not too bad...still really depressed about George's death...*sniffle*
Libitina: Why would YOU care about George's death?
Freshie: What do you mean? Why wouldn't I care? He WAS my boyfriend, after all.
Libitina: Your boyfriend?! He was MY boyfriend!
Freshie: WTF!! He was MY boyfriend, you magee!
Libitina: Why, that little scheming polygamist! Why would he ever date YOU over ME?
Freshie: Don't you mean ME over YOU?! I have an orange tie! YOU DON'T!!!
An enraged catfight ensues. PJ watches in amusement from his hospital bed.
Scene: Aunty Nora's Book Shop.
After a whole hour of reading, Charlotte finally nears page 276 of the vampire story.
Charlotte: Wow, Aunty, listen to this! On page 275 it says,"As the vampire pinned Miss Daffodull against the pine beetle infected tree, she screamed in terror. 'Somebody help me!!' she yelped, trying to keep her neck away from the vampire's fangs." Isn't that COOL? *turns page to page 276*
Antenora: That's wonderful, Charlotte. Keep on reading! *looks up from desk* Charlotte! Where'd you go?
The leather chair that Charlotte had previously occupied was vacant, holding only the vampire book, still open to page 276.
Antenora: Oh my goodness! Robert wasn't lying! The book DID suck her in! *dials Robert's phone number*
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Post by Skeleton Key on Mar 27, 2006 1:13:55 GMT -5
I love this so much my heart just exploded all over the parlour and now there's black splotches all over the torture equipment.
Am I going to be in this further?
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Post by Claire de Cerises on Mar 27, 2006 1:18:12 GMT -5
You guys aren't in it yet, but I assure you, you will be eventually. This is only the first installment. I think that means yes, Gretch.
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