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Post by Seymour Glass on Mar 12, 2018 23:21:04 GMT -5
*Sunny is in high school in one of her classes*
Classmate: Sunny's a thief. She stole my breath away!
Sunny: Go away.
Classmate: You hurt my feelings, but you can make it up to me by taking me to the movies on Friday.
Sunny: Seriously, go away.
Classmate: Turning me down. Must be lesbian!
Sunny: You're right. I am a lesbian. It was really hard for me to come out, but the thought of dating a guy like you makes me really glad that I did.
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Post by Seymour Glass on Mar 13, 2018 21:19:29 GMT -5
Cop: TURN AROUND!
Olaf: Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round.
Cop: TURN AROUND!
Olaf: Every now and then I get a... *gets tasered by cop*
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Post by Michelle Denouement on Mar 15, 2018 23:01:30 GMT -5
And Willow didn't even get punished for swearing? She has gotten punished in the past, but now most people don't care. Guess who she inherited her foul mouth from?
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Post by Seymour Glass on Mar 18, 2018 19:44:41 GMT -5
And Willow didn't even get punished for swearing? She has gotten punished in the past, but now most people don't care. Guess who she inherited her foul mouth from? Teachers today care less about their jobs than they did when I was in school. They must care even less in the 2030s.
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Post by Michelle Denouement on Mar 18, 2018 20:54:15 GMT -5
She has gotten punished in the past, but now most people don't care. Guess who she inherited her foul mouth from? Teachers today care less about their jobs than they did when I was in school. They must care even less in the 2030s. Yeah, Michelle was appalled by some of the stuff her kids have gotten away with at school. ******* Inspired by a Coco Peru Instagram video: *Count Olaf is at Target, in the Family Planning aisle, as Shirley* Shirley: Listen, there’s too many people on the planet. Why are they locking up the condoms? Let them steal it! They should be giving this stuff away.
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Post by Seymour Glass on Mar 23, 2018 20:13:31 GMT -5
This one's for Beth.
Mr. Poe: Beaudelaires, this is your new guardian, Johnny Wiseau.
Johnny: Oh hi, Beaudelaires!
Violet: Where are you from?
Johnny: New Orleans
Klaus: Oh, the accent threw us off.
Johnny: What accent?
Violet: How old are you?
Johnny: I'm your age. *He's clearly much older*
Klaus: All three of us are different ages.
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Post by Seymour Glass on Apr 2, 2018 9:01:36 GMT -5
Olaf: Actually, I'm not really Count Olaf. I'm... *takes off mask* Gene Parmesan!
Esme: *screams* Gene! You've done it again!
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Post by Michelle Denouement on Apr 2, 2018 22:46:18 GMT -5
Michelle: My parents made my brothers and I work salsaty jobs. I waited tables at Cafe Salmonella while taking IT classes between high school graduation and moving to Ohio to start undergrad. And I worked at Urban Outfitters for a while after I graduated from Oberlin, just to get me through until I was able to get a steady IT job. Ernest worked at Virgin Records and a hookah lounge during college, Frank worked as a janitor at Kidd Brewer Stadium while in college, and Dewey worked at a donut shop in college. I feel like the takeaway is to teach us work ethic.
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Post by Michelle Denouement on Apr 8, 2018 14:31:32 GMT -5
*Morning Announcements at Prufrock Prep* Nero: Attention students! There have been reports of uniform violations. May I remind you that students are not to wear Uggs with their school uniforms, only during free dress times. Carmelita: Dammit. I want to wear my cute Uggs to class. Nero: Belts must be black with plain buckles. Duncan: Aw, I wanted to wear my Batman belt. Nero: No clip in extensions. Violet: What the... I got these purple clip in extensions to wear to school. Nero: Socks and tights must be solid navy, black, or white. Isadora: I wanted to wear my bright blue socks. Nero: And all students must tuck in their shirts. Klaus: *tucks in shirt* Nero: Further more, there have been reports of students using personal electronic devices during class. All personal electronic devices must now be turned off and stored in your lockers. *Every student leaves their class and puts their phones and iPods in their lockers* Violet: This sucks. They don't allow us to have our phones or iPods in class. Duncan: Yet they issue us MacBooks. Carmelita: I can't even BBM my friends in other classes now... Klaus: Why are you even texting your friends in other classes? Carmelita: First of all, it's BBM, not texting, you pleb. Second of all, we have different class schedules. Isadora: You're a Blackberry elitist, you know that. Also, you shouldn't be texting or bbming or whatever while in class. Carmelita: Whatever...
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Post by Liam R. Findlay on Apr 11, 2018 7:36:26 GMT -5
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Post by Grace on Apr 12, 2018 6:41:14 GMT -5
^ I watched 32 seconds and I can't watch any more lmaooooo
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Post by Mr. Dent on Apr 20, 2018 17:48:34 GMT -5
I'm screaming!!!! I couldn't finish it either but whooo boy this is one of those things
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Post by Michelle Denouement on Apr 22, 2019 7:57:23 GMT -5
(Michelle Denouement is ranting about antivaxxers)
Michelle: Right now in Brooklyn, there’s a potato ing measles epidemic. My 6 year old son Jordan is vaccinated against it, but his almost 11 month old little sister Willow isn’t, because she’s too young. That potato ing scares me as a parent, that my little girl could catch something that could have been avoided if parents got their kids who can be vaccinated the vaccines. And guess what? Vaccines DO NOT cause autism. There has been a meta study of 14 million people that proved that vaccines do not cause autism. Plus, I’m autistic and it’s not the end of the world. I’m married, I run a recording business and a YouTube channel with 3 million subscribers, I have two kids, and I have college degrees from Oberlin and Columbia. Yes, I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 30, but I’m still autistic.
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Post by Seymour Glass on Aug 19, 2019 21:18:03 GMT -5
Olaf: *drinks Slurpee* What is this salsa? Strawberry? I asked for cherry.
Klaus: It's all the same. It's sugar and ice.
Olaf: It is not the same.
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Post by Michelle Denouement on Feb 2, 2020 22:42:07 GMT -5
Violet: So I was on DoorDash one night, scrolling through restaurants to order from, and Anxious Clown apparently delivers. I ate there once when I was 14, and it's sad. The cheeseburgers are super greasy and the fries are limp and sad. Also, clowns are creepy.
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