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Post by Reba on Jun 17, 2016 19:25:17 GMT -5
i have another notebook with "short stories" labelled 2007, so i was either 8 or 9. here's a few
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THE MAN IN THE PURPLE SUIT
Once there was a small town of about thirty people. A group of Native American people in particular who lived in a small hut at the end of a brick road had a very big secret. Every day, a large man in a purple suit and a red mask would trot down the streets looking at all the market people with a raised eyebrow. Everyone called him Mr. Big, but no one knew he was related to the Native American family. Until.
People scurried from their stools behind the market stand and hid in the famous giant cellar that a potter owned until Mr. Big had gone. Then they went back to their stands to see if anything had been taken. Mr. Big always stole at least one thing every day. Over the years, the Native American had gotten to become richest family in the whole town!
One night, an old wise man hid in the bushes and followed Mr. Big right to.... the Native American family's house! A young girl opened the door, and Mr. Big took off his mask.
He only had eyes!
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DRACULA THE BABY VAMPIRE
Once upon a time there was a haunted house at the end of an old gravel road. Five people lived there—Tommy the Tomb, Max the Maniac, Walter the Werewolf, Lenny the Leopard, and Dracula the baby vampire. Every day was Halloween for this particular family. Dracy (Dracula) always hid behind the door and scared visitors. But he didn't always scare them......
A group of boy scouts knocked on the haunted house front door. There was a whisk of air and a "O-O-O-Oh!", then the door creaked opened and Dracy pounced on a boy's head.
"Nice costume!"
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THE ALIEN SPACESHIP
Allen was playing with his dog in his backyard. He threw the ball down the hill and his dog darted after it, it's tongue flying. After his dog had caught the ball, Allen was just about to call out, "Tipper! Puppy, come here!" when a green light appeared from the sky and picked up Allen's dog. It started to bark and then dissapeared into a large flying ship. Allen couldn't move. He couldn't speak. He wasn't living.
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THE TIME GOD CUSSED IN FRONT OF SOME ANGELS
One day God was playing a nice game of chess with one of his angels and five other angels were watching.
Whenever the angel won, God got really mad and yelled out, "I'm going to beat that !#*% angel someday!"
All the angels gasped and sent God to @!%# because he cussed.
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Post by Lenny Anwhistle on Jun 17, 2016 20:48:07 GMT -5
The man in the purple suit either reminds me of pinstripes or Tuck Everlasting.
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Post by Eponine on Jun 18, 2016 11:35:26 GMT -5
I think I've said it before, but I found a love story in between 4th grade me and Sonic the Hedgehog that I'm in the process of typing.
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Post by Reba on Jul 23, 2016 2:50:09 GMT -5
i know i'm pretty much the only one who posts stuff in here, which must mean that no one actually cares that much to read some sh*tty juvenilia. but i just spent a long time typing up an old notebook and i have no friends. in 5th grade i did a lot of worldbuilding after reading Eragon. i also wrote a rather long first chapter, but stopped after that because little kids get bored easily. it is spoilered below “Zejaün Vaurthka Shythe Ük” THE JOHN WARS
Book I in the Crystal Cavern Chronicles
Chapter 1: THE CASTLE OF TABELKÄFE
A dark figure trudged through the marshy lands up to the looming castle in the distance. His real name was Julius, but everybody called him Sir Brian (with the exception of his father, of course). He was currently on a trip to the King of Tabelkäfe’s gloomy castle, almost completely hidden by the forbidden Biiôlchün Wood (which was believed to have been cursed by black magic hundreds of years ago).
The story started just a few weeks ago when King John I sent out a notice to the small village of Girlazzy (where Sir Brian lived) announcing that he needed someone to inherit the throne after he died. The catch with his astounding offer was, though, that anyone who accepted had to do two things that almost no one that knew of King John would accept: the participator would have to locate King John’s castle (which no one quite knew the location of), which included a journey all the way through the terrible and dangerous Biiôlchün Wood, and they had to assume the name of John immediately after inheriting the throne. The problem with that was anyone in their right mind across pretty much every land on earth either hated King John or just the name John in general, because of the superstition widely know in Girlazzy that anyone named John was associated with the devil and completely drained of any positive thoughts.
Sir Brian, hearing of King John’s offer, decided that since he had gone by so many names already in his life that he wouldn’t mind being called John and set off on his journey to find the castle. This was particularly easy for Sir Brian because his father was famed to have the largest collection of books in Tabelkäfe and was happy to give his son a few that could prove helpful on the journey. Sir Brian spent many nights pouring over the books until he was sure he knew the way to the castle, and about a week later he proved himself right as he finally stumbled weakly out of the Biiôlchün Wood and found himself staring at the large, limestone castle just less than half a league away.
At this point Sir Brian was still forcing himself onwards towards the castle, despite a sudden sharp cramp in his right side, most likely due to the week of walking he had just faced. The castle was getting much closer now, and Sir Brian suddenly realized how he was walking over a low bridge as he felt the ground change from soft, wet marsh to hard wood. When at the towering red (painted with the blood of King John’s enemies, according to legend) arched door at the front of the castle he stopped and held his arms firmly at his sides.
“Ôbinde ohr izzinësc irth kinè!”
The door didn’t budge, and the castle was still silent and dead-looking. Sir Brian tried again, this time louder, and pounded on the door as he yelled.
“Ôbinde ohr izzinësc irth kinè!”
Sir Brian heard a faint stomping from inside and stepped back, satisfied. The door slowly creaked open, pulled by thick, heavy chains that looked about ready to rip off the chipping wood. Standing in the entryway was an old man, most likely a servant, wearing a battered black cloak and a rather sour look on his face. His eyes narrowed when he saw sir Brian and he muttered a few choice curses under his breath.
“The king does not wish to be disturbed at this hour,” he sneered, “especially by mere beggars such as you.”
Sir Brian stiffened, trying to ignore the insult, and said shortly, “I have come here on reply to King John’s proclamation sent out to Girlazzy a near month ago.”
The servant let out a heavy, intentional sigh and reluctantly started towards a spiraling stone staircase behind him. “Well, come on, then.”
Sir Brian followed the humpbacked man up the long stairs, passing many rooms they did not enter, until they finally reached a large stone door with a steel knocker and chains crossing back and forth over the front. The servant took a large ring of keys and spent a suspiciously intentional long amount of time finding the right one. Finally he singled out a small bronze key and shoved it into a lock that was holding the chains, which immediately fell to the ground with a loud clang as the key turned. The servant peeked through the door, angrily whispered something Sir Brian couldn’t quite make out, and slowly walked into the room.
The space inside was enormous, larger than any room Sir Brian had ever been in. After taking a brief look around, Sir Brian estimated that his house in Girlazzy would probably fit into the room about two and a half times.
The walls looked exactly like a cave, even with an essence that hinted that they were naturally formed. The room was shaped in a slick, smooth dome with a giant extremely dangerous-looking spear shape hanging from the ceiling by a thin wire (its tip loomed just feet away from Sir Brian’s vulnerable head) and the floors were the same as the walls, excluding the small hills and points jutting out from the rock. At the very back of the room was a gigantic throne, nearly fifteen feet tall, that a tall, wiry figure lay in uncomfortably.
King John sat up immediately and started towards a small dagger hanging from his belt when he saw the two approaching, but relaxed when he noticed the servant. A long set of rather ugly, shaggy hair almost completely covered his face and Sir Brian noted that his pants were more fit for a beggar than a king, for his pants were almost completely torn apart to reveal a crippled, pitiful set of legs and his shirt was rather ill-fitting and tight over King John’s fat, drooping belly (which contained many dark bruises and stains Sir Brian shuddered to think the origins of). A rather angry look came across King John’s face as he noticed Sir Brian staring at him with distaste and he spat furiously in a strange, high-pitched voice at the servant, “Uy hëfeu braaht u ìliasd egarrien deûar mielwha?”
The servant’s eyes widened and he pleaded nervously, “Eizarri, müey ourd büett jaìenzitêd auhn kominn!”
King John’s eyes narrowed and he hissed, “Scrii.” The servant shuffled away quickly and tripped as he rushed out the door. The king turned to Sir Brian and a tight, malicious smile crossed his lips. “So tell me, young peasant, why are you here and how does one like you find my castle yet seem so… deficient?”
Sir Brian furrowed his brow crossly, but tried to suppress his anger in front of King John. Instead he continued like the insult had never happened: “I have a rather large collection of books that helped me find you. As for why I’m here, I have come to reply to your announcement you sent out to Girlazzy about needing an heir!”
King John raised an eyebrow, clearly more interested now, and shouted, “Kauèm, Zerrviônd!”
Sir Brian heard the scraping noise of stone and turned to see the servant back in the room and scurrying towards King John. “Yae, mii’Loürtt?” he squeaked nervously as he quickly knelt on one grubby, scraped knee.
Fire raged in King John’s eyes, but his voice remained calm as he hissed, “Uy deintù tdëlmiì evväut notzeij?” The servant’s eyes widened and “Dinnd now id wvous nerfrealcsery!” was just barely made out between choked sobs. The king’s face turned burnt red and he bellowed furiously, “EII BANMICH EU, VEULL!” With a quick, startling lunge King John grabbed a large chunk of the servan’ts hair and yanked the servant face to face with him. In less than a second King John’s shiny clean dagger went from his belt to the servant’s throat, and in less than a second after that the servant was on the floor gushing blood, having drawn his last breath. King John spat on his body as he muttered, “Weitd e vais øv ehgräatch,” and then turned back to Sir Brian, taking a deep breath and grinning mischievously.
“So, you want to be my heir, eh?” King John seems like a really boring name, and i didn't know about the famous King John when i wrote it. it is really a thinly veiled allegory about some kid in my school named John, who bullied me once at lunch. the funniest part of this terrible pseudo-fantasy tale is how blatantly facile my fictional language construction is. i think i wrote out what they were really saying in english, then spelled it really stupidly and added some random gibberish in too, then looked up diacritical marks online and sprinkled them throughout. my language was called "Uiënzobbéra", the first part of which probably derives from my own name (julien). spoilered below are the translations that i wrote in the back of the notebook Ôbinde ohr izzinësc irth kinè! - Open the doors, for I have business with the king! [future bear note: if you look at it phonetically, you can see i just kind of spelled out "open door business with king!"
Uy hëfeu braaht u ìliasd egarrien deûar mielwha? - Why have you brought an idiot beggar in my midst?
Eizarri, müey ourd büett jaìenzitêd auhn kominn! - I'm very sorry my lord, but he insisted on coming!
Scrii! - Go; leave.
Kauèm, Zerrviônd! - Servant, come!
Yae, mii’Loürtt? - Yes, my Lord?
[bear note: the other phrases aren't mentioned, but i think you can guess their translations.] bonus: a crude map! double bonus: exhaustive/exhausting details about the map! NOTES ON THE MAP
- The village Srii no longer exists, and was only known by outsiders for one year before being destroyed by the beast of Gixonaul.
- Only half of the Biiôlchün Wood is part of Tabelkäfe, the quarter of Milzig Lake next to the Torium Forest is not part of Tabelkäfe, the Meautfyl and lyftuaëm mountains are not part of Tabelkäfe, and the Torium Forest is not part of Tabelkäfe. Ifusmeía seceded from Tabelkäfe after King John died.
- Alconair was only the capital after King John died. Before it was Gixonaul (capital).
- During King John's reign it was illegal to go into the Biioôlchün Wood, because King John did not want people finding his castle, although hopelessly lost Calfrians did occasionally find their way to the castle (they were usually killed on the spot).
- Girlazzy is destroyed by Fusmeíans (who were the only people in the kingdom in favor of King John) after John was killed.
- The Spiral is a long river that was said in folklore to go on forever and branch off where ever people needed it to.
- Milzig Lake was half manmade, whici s why it is so huge. It was discovered by a tribe that named it Milzig, but they died off when Skines took over the area where they lived. (This is why Milzig is Latvian for huge.)
- Skineth was formerly named Sala before Skines took over and renamed it.
- Skineth is the Skinesh Capital.
- King John named the Biiôlchün Wood a wood instead of a forest because he thought it funny to see people think it was harmless, tiny woods and then get hopelessly lost and die in the gigantic forest it really was.
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Post by Eponine on Jul 23, 2016 3:08:13 GMT -5
That's actually quite impressive for an 11 year old- In 5th grade I was busy writing that Sonic x me thing that I've mentioned like 8 times and y'all are probably tired of hearing about.
My grade school published a book full of kid's work every year (the first year they started it was my last year before middle school) and I submited this:
I peered around the bedroom wall, wondering whether to go in or not. I must have peered around a little too far because then a high-pitched voice started yapping, ”Mawie, Mawie, look it's Mawie!” I sighed and walked in. “Hello girls,”- I greeted my sister Agness and her friends, “I was just checking in on you, but I really should get going...ummm…” “No! Stay,Stay Mawie! Stay STAY!!!!!”-Begged Agness’s little friend Arabella. “No can do Bella, I really should get ready for the party tonight.” -just saying the word party made my heart leap. “NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! STAY MAWIEEEEEE!!!!”- Begged Arabella, “MAWIE!!!” “Try saying Marie, with an “R” next time...deal?”- at that I left the bedroom. I walked along the hallways of our castle. The sun coming in through giant windows combined with the crystal white walls made the halls look very bright. I started to skip but realized that was a bad idea when I landed on my face,high heel shoes are hard to skip in. I growled,rubbed my sore nose, got on my knees then pulled of the shoes. Sighing with relief, I stood up and started to skip once more. “Hello Maradith!” I greeted our maid. “Hello Marie! What room are Agness and her friends playing in? They always leave a tremendous mess…” sighed Maradith. “That room over there! Watch out though, they're playing tea party… with REAL tea…” I said. Maradith laughed and walked to the room were Agness and her friends were playing. “Now...where is father's study...Almost 17 years living here and I still hardly know my way around…”-I thought. After a while of wondering around, I stood in front of a large black door and knocked then entered. “Hello father!” I greeted. “Hello Marie.” “I’m...ready to get ready for the party!” “Ellen will fix you up...she should be by the 2nd floor bathroom...where are your shoes Marie?” “Bye father!...” I bolted out of the room and down many flights of stairs to find Ellen, one of our maids. “Hi Ellen! I’m ready to get dressed for the party!” I reported happily. “ Oh! Great! I’ve been looking forward to getting you dressed all day! ... You might actually look pretty after i’m done with you…” I followed her down to a large white door, which I had never seen before. We stepped inside. It was like a bathroom but with no toilets and more make up supplies. “First i’ll take some measurements.” She said, pulling out a measuring tape, “OK… 5 feet exactly…So short, like her mother, gosh, real midget… Marie...For real! Easy on the desserts! Not the thinnest person i’ve met…definitely... OK...and we are...Done! Now...We make you look Gorgeous!” I gulped as Ellen took a pair of Scissors and cut that least 4 or 5 inches of my dark brown hair off. She then brushed it and braided it then twisted it into a bun on top of my head. Ellen pulled me over to a sink, filled it with water, dumped in a bottle of blue liquid, soaked a rag in the now blue water and brought it to my face. It stung horribly. “This will help with that dreadful acne! Does it sting?” She asked. I opened my mouth to say yes, but the blue liquid dripped into my mouth and I started to gag and cough. “Its supposed to!” Said Ellen. She finally lifted up the rag and put another one on with water, which made my face sting worse. She now brought me into another door. Inside this room was a lot dresses. Ellen took of the blue dress I wore now and pulled a gold dress from one of the racks.Before she put it on me, she pulled a leather rope around my waist really hard, then put the dress on. She took me back into the makeup room and pinned a delicate golden tiara in my hair.She finally stuffed my large feet into some golden heels.”OK...I just want you to smile for me…” Ellen said. I smiled for her. “OH. MY.GOSH!!!! We soooo need to do something about those HUGE front teeth of Yours!”She burst out laughing. “Ellen! My father mocks me enough about it...he said he already found someone who can fix that.You’ve helped enough. Thanks and, Bye!” I left the room and gingerly touched my stinging face.Ellen came out the door. “Oh. Marie.You’re Father wishes to see you.”
CHAPTER TWO I knocked on the hue black door.”COME IN!”- Came my father's booming voice . I gulped and entered. My father had always scared me. “Yes father?”- I asked, rather quietly. “There are a few thing I want you to Know.” “Yes?” “Well first…-ELLEN! ALICE! Get in here!”- the two maids appeared, almost out of nowhere. “Ahem. Yes. Remember your posture tonight. ELLEN! ALICE!”-he said. Alice pulled my head up and pushed my back in, while Ellen pushed my shoulders down painfully hard. “ Head tall, back straight, shoulders down.” -Said Alice. She had an irregularly high voice. “ Ellen. Alice. You are dismissed.”- Said my father, then added, “ Marie. You need a husband. And soon.” “Why?”- I blurted. “Because your mother is dead, and soon I will be dead too. I’m getting very old.” “ And…” “ You will have to be queen.” “But I don’t need a husband. Not by law.” “ But you need a husband. Your dumb and small minded. Someone needs to guide you.” He said like he was stating the obvious “You may leave.” I slammed the door behind me. Dumb? Small minded? How could my own father, my own blood call his daughter dumb and small minded? UGH!!!
With a note in the cover that said "All the boys in my class loved my book!!!! I should become a real writer someday! -Millie, 11 years old"
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Post by Hermes on Jul 23, 2016 15:29:04 GMT -5
King John seems like a really boring name, and i didn't know about the famous King John when i wrote it. it is really a thinly veiled allegory about some kid in my school named John, who bullied me once at lunch. Might you have been thinking of A.A. Milne's King John? I ask especially because Sir Brian also appears in his works.
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Post by Reba on Jul 23, 2016 18:44:24 GMT -5
no, don't think i had read any Milne poems by then.
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Post by Charlie on Apr 6, 2017 2:45:07 GMT -5
Please reproduce it here for us! By the way, I'm unsure if I've already been like "whoa bandit i love this", but whoa bandit i love this!!!!!
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Post by A comet crashing into Earth on Apr 6, 2017 12:28:26 GMT -5
Middle school was a dark time.
That sounds kind of dark, yes, but also kind of delightful.
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Post by Reba on May 18, 2017 20:27:06 GMT -5
when i was 9 i made a fake gossip magazine. it was called GOSSIP! it had fake news from a mixture of real and fake celebs.
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GOSSIP! Including an interview with TV hunk, Bill Milner!
THE OMG NEWS OF THE WEEK!
Handsome Mr. T and his co-editor, the feverish Kelsey Terry made the news when they were seen kissing secretly at the screening of their hot, new TV movie. The private couple deny it's a romance; they say they are just close friends.
Here's another mushy tidbit—love must be in the spectacle. Tom Cruise and Gwen Stefani who had only rude words for each other last week, were seen holding hands and whispering in each other's ears at this weeks benefit for adopted babies.
Also, the ever-loved "Gilligan's Island" looks as though it will end up as a succesful feature film. Both Universal and Paramount are competing to turn this corny comedy into a fabulous blockbuster.
What world-famous fashion designer is angrily tearing his hair out? His staff sold the same provocative low-cut dress to two of TV's leading actresses. The women hate each other's guts.
BILL MILNER GETS AN INTERVIEW!!!!
Interviewer: Getting right to it, how does it feel to be TV's leading sex symbol?
BM: Strange. I don't really notice it. Off screen I'm really a smart person.
Interviewer: When did you decide you wanted to be an actor?
BM: I was in a school production of Hamlet, and I received two medals for best actor. That did it.
Interviewer: Were you a good student in school?
BM: I was an A+ student.
Interviewer: I understand you are an avid reader. Care to name your favorites?
BM: Dickens's "Tale of Two Cities," and Verne's "Around the World in 80 Days."
Interviewer: How would you like your fans to remember you?
BM: As a great actor and a nice person.
WINNIE!
Breathless, wearing her glasses on top of her nose, Winnie rushes into her dressing room on the set of "One Thing to Love." She's wearing a colorful necklace around her neck, a full-length skirt, and very cool high-heels. Off-screen as well as on, she independent and pretty and very comfortable in her own mind. You understand immediately why she's a role model for millions of teenage girls. Although she's rehearsing her show, she still finds time to talk to us. But before we get far, she's called to the set.
The interview ends suddenly. Before leaving, she turns and says, "Just because you're thought of as a sex symbol doesn't mean you have a good head on your neck."
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Post by Charlie on May 18, 2017 22:09:29 GMT -5
I love how you can see the influence kf casual misogyny on a young mind here, very interesting
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Post by Reba on May 18, 2017 22:16:50 GMT -5
where is there misogyny??
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Post by Charlie on May 19, 2017 17:58:46 GMT -5
In retrospect not as much as I thought lol, but partic the part where Bill Milner's sex symbolness is just a facet of his personality despite which he's actually quite smart. And then winnie's sex symbolness is like most of her personality, and she goes on to imply that she doesn't have a large intellect.
Idk it feels like a diametric opposition of sex vs. Intellect has been set up which handsome bill Milner could escape but winnie could not. Which i reckon on some level reflects the casual misogyny we all grow up being bombarded with in the media
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Post by Reba on May 19, 2017 18:37:47 GMT -5
i can't speak for myself a decade ago, but i don't think winnie was calling herself an idiot, she was delivering a wise maxim on fame in general. fyi, this is bill milner. he's a real actor who had just starred in "Son of Rambow" a film i quite enjoyed at the time
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Post by Charlie on May 19, 2017 19:30:16 GMT -5
Lol love it
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