Post by Isadora Is a Door on Mar 30, 2015 15:55:32 GMT -5
Original idea by Akbar Le Grey
So yay, here is the next issue of the 667, with more stuff. Anka is taking over the advice column, as Pen has resigned from the post after several years of hard advice-giving and problem-solving. Anka has a tough job to live up to, as Pen was always particularly awesome at that. Bee has also done another thing, because her thing last time was good, but actually I just really like the banner that Lemona made for that.
Also, sorry if this issue is a bit later than normal. Normal service will be resumed next issue!
Next issue, however, will be a Darkies special. I'm not too sure when the Darkies will start (or when the next issue will be published, actually, but whatever), but it will be fun because it always is.
Looking even further ahead, 667's 13th anniversary is happening soon, and there will be a special version of the 667er to accompany that. I have some special things planned to make that issue especially interesting, and if anybody is interested in doing anything then they should PM so I could know about it.
But anyway, on with this issue!
Editor – Mister M
Co-Editor – Anka Anwhistle M
Designer – Lemona Snicket
Art Editor – Terry Craig
Gawky Editor – Charlie Snicket
Thanks This Issue to : Anka Anwhistle M, Bee, Terry Craig, Akbar Le Grey, Pandora, Pen, Linda Rahldeen, Charlie Snicket, Lemona Snicket
God bless you zayn
People Who Don’t Shut Up in Class
Now, there are actually two types of Not Shutting Up In Class. The first type is students who talk amongst themselves while they’re in a class, and that is not the type I’m ranting about here. I’m not ranting about it for three reasons: a) I do it sometimes, b) it doesn’t bug me much and c) it’s a pretty understandable type.
The non-understandable type of NSUIC basically consists of responding to every single thing the tutor/lecturer/whoever says. For instance, if the lecturer makes a statement that the class agrees with, it will be greeted with audible “mmhhm” and “yeah, yeah” sounds. This type of NSUIC-er also laughs at seemingly random moments. Perhaps they were laughing in agreement? I can’t tell, but it’s a lecture, ffs people, not a casual chat. I think the best way to describe this is the way one would behave when watching a stand-up comic. I mean, in many cultures you’re meant to makes sounds, such as laughter and general appreciative noise, this is more or less what these people do in class.
Another thing is responding with words to everything that is said: not only answering every question, but making remarks even when no direct question has been posed. It’s pretty common for the remarks to be long-winded too. It gets on my nerves.
You may be thinking Lemona, this doesn’t sound like a big deal. Why are you letting it get on your nerves? Be strong. Well, while I admit it’s not the worst thing you can do in class (constantly singing “I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves” might be classified as worse), it still bugs me. When it’s happening every five seconds and you’re as bad at focussing as I am… arrgh. I have put up with it many a time, no matter how much it bugs me, but what is this column for other than to rant? Look at the banner up top, guys, it says rant. No, you in the back, not rent. Get your glasses.
Now it's time for everybody's second-favourite advice giver
Dear Anka,
I am thinking about making a big purchase, possibly the biggest purchase I will ever make (a house). I've wanted this and have been saving for years, but now that an opportunity has arisen to actually follow through and buy the house, I'm getting cold feet. Any advice?
Sincerely,
Afraid of commitment
Dear Afraid,
it is of course difficult to make such a decision, because it is quite a big thing. I am not quite sure if I will ever be grown up enough to buy a house. But you probably are, otherwise you wouldn't have got this far already, so you should probably just do it. I always think with most decisions, no matter how big they are, if it is the wrong thing to do, then it just can't happen. If buying the house was a bad decision, then something will happen that makes it impossible or at least quite difficult. So if there aren't any other people who want the house and who you would have to kill to get it, and if there aren't any spaceships accidentally landing on it and completely breaking it, or anything else like that, then the house is probably just waiting for you and you should definitely buy it.
Dear Anka,
Could you help me more modest? My egotism is really becoming problematic, and I'm thinking maybe it's driving people away. Hopefully you can help me!
From,
The sexiest, most awesome, total genius, hottie dude ever
Dear Mister Ever,
I have never known anyone with the same problem, but when people ask me for help with the opposite problem, I always tell them to think of one thing they like about themselves every morning before they leave the house. Maybe you should do the same, but with things you hate about yourself?
Dear Anka.
When will the darkies start?
From, anticipating
Dear you and dear everyone,
The Darkies can start any time after the 9th of April as soon as there is a Darkies section. So maybe impatient people can already start thinking about suggestions for categories or general changes.
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And now for something a little different...
So this month's Kpop is a ballad! Which normally I hate... but this one is good! And it's by a boy group! Which normally I don't love... but this one is good! Ha, basically this is the brother group to Orange Caramel, sooooo maybe that's why I like them . I really like this song, and it's beaten out like 5 other popular releases this month (at least in my heart) to get here, so please enjoy! Also, last month's song "Crazy" topped charts for like two weeks after the column came out, and won like 5 awards or something so basically don't doubt me, obvi I'm ahead of the trends (duh). Anyway, this month's song is "I'm Bad" by Nu'est!
Nu'est is an acronym... kind of... for New Established Style and Tempo, which I kinda don't get, but hey maybe some of you musicologists out there will know what that's meant to mean... Their first song Face went like super popular as like an anti-bullying anthem, and it's actually a pretty fun song! Nu'est since Face has been plagued with TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE, AWFUL, GROTESQUE, HIDEOUS costuming decisions, but thankfully, in the last year their company Pledis has hired some people who can actually style guys kinda. Phew.
The Members
JR- JR (short for Junior Royal, lol) and his unsettling chin are the leaders of Nu'est, and have only ever had cute hair once ever, in the above era. And even then it was iffy. He is the main rapper, and the main dancer, which is pretty cool, and he also plays like a bajillion instruments.
Aron- Aron is kinda like just saddled with all the English bits, because it's his first language, and apart from that he's kinda adorable, but also kinda a sexist douche. But hey, he is one of the few kpop idols to actually release an apology for being a douche, so that's a plus!
Baekho- Baekho looks like he'd give the best hugs in the world right! Plus he's super friendly and smiley! Also, he has a super uber beautiful voice which you won't get to hear here because he got the like vocal nodules from singing too beautifully, and had to get like surgery earlier this year for it . But he's okay now!
Minhyun- Minhyun is the visual of the group, but he also loves singing and is like fluent at Japanese which is cool. His favourite feature is hair (coincedentally my least fave atm, but I'm getting a haircut... like three days ago for you guys, so stay posted!), and he is like proper smart too apparently idk.
Ren- Ren is every single person's favourite member of Nu'est. He is beautiful and adorable, and flaunts it and is just great. He is 'feminine concept', which I guess means he's the one that is meant to appeal to girl's who like girly guys... which according to his popularity, is everyone. He is the cutie maknae (youngest) of Nu'est, and like half the reason they're popular I think. Plus he did this
Left, Minah. Right, Ren.
Without further ado- I'm Bad
Okay so I'm gonna be honest for a moment, every single song between Face and their image change early last year was kinda painful. Like still okay, but kinda painful too. But this song, wow! Actually listenable for extended periods of time! And contrary to the name, not even bad! Totally singable too! With lovely harmonising and smooth vocals that don't grate awkwardly like they did in Hello, I really like this song as an example of when Kpop is actually music and not just a bunch of fun sounds! The lyrics aren't even problematic, which is totally unheard of in boy group lyrics; they're about like a guy who's been a minor-scumbag and she's left him for it, and he's sorry but he respects her decision. Lol, but then the video. I mean it's ok. It just has nothing to do with anything and just is made up of shots of Nu'est (minus Baekho) looking super moody and like modelling, interspersed with a ballerina. Before Baekho's vocal nodule surgery was publically announced, many fans thought maybe he had replicated Ren's crossdressing endeavours and he was the ballerina, lol. This song got like no promotion or anything though, which kinda makes sense because Nu'est is busy busy busy touring in Japan at the moment, so I guess fair enough! Anyway, if you haven't watched the video yet, you might like to just download the song instead and give it a listen, it's actually good I swear!
I almost forgot to mention that Nu'est is like a gay concept group. Like not officially, but also then their group colour is hot pink, and it's obvious in every video of them ever that JR and Aron are fighting over Ren, and it's even obvi on like one of their official album covers.
LIKE SERIOUSLY, JR'S LIKE "pls hold my hand ren", AND ARON'S LIKE "rennnn can I touch your chest pls", AND REN'S JUST THERE LIKE "so what, I'm hot". Like, ok for a while I didn't believe Charles Vane that Louis and Harry were super in love and dating, but now I'm like, yeah, duh. That is what you guys would be like if you cared enough to go and watch like even one video of them ok. And that was just Aron, JR is arguably even more in love with Ren. Believe me, it's all true.
Other assorted Kpop news
- The other day when my friend was at sushi train, Goodbye PMS started playing, lol. Like who even puts a foreign medication ad jingle onto a sushi train playlist, but moreover who puts Goodbye PMS on. Seriously guys
- Red Velvet has added a fifth member (fulfilling everybody conspiracy theorist's dreams), and released two new songs, only one of which is actually fun, and really isn't fun enough to write a whole article about. Plus if they just keep on adding members until they have twelve like everyone is assuming they will, there is no way in hell I'm gonna bother profiling them as five (or lesbi honest, at all).
- Boyfriend released Alice in Wonderland inspired "Bounce", another actually listenable boy group song! Wow, two in one month!
- Amber, who is a 'masculine concept' girl group member, did a cover of Uptown Funk with actual goddess Ailee, and together they make a really nice sounding cover version thingy.
- Literally, this means nothing to anybody, but Bae Suzy from Miss A, which is like a super cool group, just like got together with Lee Minho who is some ultra-popular actor mainly from Boys Before Flowers. The most important part of this story tho, is that her surname is Bae, so he can call her bae like all the time, cuuuuuute.
PS, if you cared enough to read this far, or even if you just skimmed, or even if you didn't read any of my article because you're a terrible friend, and you're just reading this bit because it caught your eye, or even if you just know, you JUST KNOW OK, that I'm writing this, it'd be awesome if you PMed me for Winter interviews. Like, don't worry about there being too many of you! If you PM me, I guarantee you a place! And they're super easy questions too. I won't reveal what it's about yet, 90% because I don't know, but also 90% for suspense, and -80% for comedic effect.
PPS, I know there's a lot more links this time, and a lot of links to videos, some of them are important links, but like don't bother watching most of the youtube videos if you wanna cut down the mental toll of reading this article. Like seriously, if it's that important, I'll embed it.
And now for something very exciting
A column by Linda Rhaldeen
Welcome back to History of 667. Today's topic of interest: early days.
Tragedy Armando Thomas, also known as Tragedy, created Lemony Snicket's Informer forums on June 22nd, 2002. It was originally aligned with a website, Lemony Snicket's Informer. This website is now defunct, but as of early 2005 it still existed (though even then it was outdated), and was actually how I originally found my way to 667.
At the time, the big Snicket forum was Unfortunate Events Online, also known as UE.net. Tragedy was the head moderator there and created this site for fun while continuing to post and moderate at UE.net. The forum remained small...for a while. Around February 7th, 2003, UE.net mysteriously disappeared. For months, there was a message saying that the website was revamping and would be up shortly, and former UE.net members remained hopeful. Eventually it became clear that the site was never coming back.
The closing of UE.net, while sad at the time, is really what allowed 667 to get its start. It left a void for people wanting to join a Snicket forum, and 667's exponential growth reflects that. It took 6 1/2 months, from June 22nd to January 9th, for the forum to reach its first 100 members. In another 3 1/2 months, on April 21st, it reached 200 members. It took another 2 1/2 months to reach 300, and from then on, a new member mark was reached at least once a month.
From the very beginning, the forum structure was similar to the way it is today; a peek at the board from October of 2002 shows that the only two sections we have today that were missing then are Ravaged Resources and Ruefully Restricted, although, many of the other sections went by different names.
As the forum began to grow, more and more now-familiar fixtures began to appear. For example, on April 10th 2003, the first of many moderators were appointed. The site was renamed from Lemony Snicket's Informer forums to 667 Dark Avenue on April 27th, 2003. The current color scheme, which uses black, grey, yellow, and blue, was changed in early January 2005 (perhaps thanks to Giudecca?). And finally, the 667 logo was created as a group project in early 2007.
Bonus content:
- The Wayback Archive. Thanks to Kensicle for originally pointing out this site, it allows you to look at what websites looked like at different points in time. It is currently set to the first webcapture made, on October 9th 2002.
- Trivia
Interested in seeing a specific topic covered? Send me a PM and I will do my best to cover it in a future issue.
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Umm... I guess people should use their imagination
IAMGINE A BANNER FOR THIS THAT I DIDN'T FORGET TO ASK LEMONA TO MAKE
GOSSIP OR SOMETHING THAT WILL MOSTLY LIKELY ALWAYS BE ABOUT THE SAME SUBJECT
By: Pandora, age 24
You may have heard Zayn Malik quit One Direction, but that is not true since One Direction is a group of five lads who are best friends and who love each other and will live happily ever after together and that is not something you can quit, although you can leave a band that maybe has the same name.
Everyone will miss Zayn Malik and his perfect face but the lord and the members of 1d have a plan and we have to trust that even if it means Zayn is going solo temporarily or forever but Zayn and the rest of us will not forget where he belongs (which is a song title by 1d, im clever)
In Conclusion:
The other members of 1d have to figure out how to arrange themselves on stage now that Zayn is no longer physically with them, bc they have certain ways they stand for certain songs or something, and this is what people are predicting so far:
More on this story as it develops.
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Noone can blame you
for walking away
but too much rejection
no love injection
but down in the underground
you'll find someone true
down in the underground
a land serene, a crystal room
'Give me the child,' she said 'Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, I have my way here, to the castle beyond the goblin city to take back the child that you have stolen.'
'For my will is as strong as yours' she continued 'and my kingdom is as great.'
The sky rumbled with thunder. She paused and looked up at the darkening clouds, but she didn't have time to think about them.
'For my will is as strong as yours and my kingdom is as great....... Damn.'
She forgot it again. She ran over to the park bench and picked up the book, and scanned the pages. 'You have no power over me,' she said.
She sat down on the bench, and Bryan, her cat, slithered over and sat on her lap. 'Why can I never remember that last part?'
Bryan purred on her lap, and she looked at her watch 'On no!' It was seven o'clock. She needed to have left half an hour ago.
Sophie stood up and ran.
Life can be easy
it's not always swell
don't tell me the truth hurts, little girl
'cause it hurts like hell
She ran as fast as she could, holding Bryan in her arms. Why did she have to be late? Why today?
The rain clouds above her rumbled, and a great crack of lightning struck in the distance. Oh great Sophie thought, and ran even faster.
Eventually, she was at the house, and she ran onto the porch out of the rain and knocked on the door. A dew moments alter, her stepmother opened the door with a severe look on her face
'Sophie, you're an hour late.'
'I'm sorry,' said Sophie, as she stepped inside and started to dry her hair on a towel
'Your father and I go out very rarely, and I only ask you to babysit if you have nothing else to do.'
'You never ask me if I have anything to do.'
'Well I assumed you'd tell me if you had something to do.'
Her father appeared at the top of the stairs. 'We were worried about you,' he said.
'You could have called to check if I was okay,' said Sophie, irritated, as she ran past him and up the stairs to her room.
As she ran up the stairs, she heard her baby brother's cries coming from his room. He never seemed to do anything other than cry.
She ran into her room slamming the door behind her and threw herself down on the bed and began to cry into her pillow. Why did she have to be left?
A few seconds later she felt something brushing against her leg, and Bryan leapt up onto the bed beside her and began mewing in her face.
'Oh Bryan,' she said, smiling, 'what would I do without you?'
TO BE CONTINUED...
For this month's thing I'm actually being nice and am going to list the most intelligent of the 667ers. Plz dont be offended if you aren't here, it'll just make you look like a whiny 12 year old. K? K.
Without further ado (and in no particular order):
1) Sherry Ann (congratulations on getting into college gurl)
2) Charlie (Aspiring medic; I already know without doubt you're going to get into Melbourne uni)
3) Sophie (I'm not familiar with SAT scores or american grading but reliable sources have informed me that hers are formidable).
4) Nicole (I sometimes forget she has a degree in english, but she can argue/debate points pretty well)
5) Betsy (Your knowledge of culture/spanish/medical sciene is really admirable)
6) Terry Craig (though sometimes pretentious, usually always impressive)
7) Hermes (You are a professor/lecturer of philosophy!)
8) Linda (You need to be super smart to organise everything as well as she does)
9) Sam (You need to be intelligent to be that witty)
10) Pen (I just know this is true I dont even need evidence)
11) Dante (You have to be pretty switched on to make up stuff and over analyse children's books for 10+ years in your spare time)
12) Misterm/Anka (Putting these two together just 'cause, but Anka has amazing language skills and I think she went to a gifted school and MisterM is just weirdly unique in his perspectives on things)
13) Anyone else (you're amazing blah blah blah)
-Bee
….
POWER RANKINGS AND IMAGINARY LIGHTNING BOLTS
667 seems like it has been dead this past month, and I expect everyone but me to accept responsibility for this. I have selected 10 people not entirely at random that are examples of people who have not sucked completely at posting this month.
10. Agathological: I have no idea who the hell this is, but they post in the boring sections and that matters because that's the whole point of the forum even though it's boring.
9. Lemona Snicket: Also posted in the boring section, but is slightly better than the other person because I know who she is. Hello female hello (the formal version of hey girl hey bc I don't know her very well. ((this statement references gender identity not biological sex bc trans women are women too and that's important)) )
8. MatthewMemories: Because he makes threads and I think people don't like him which means he is following in my misunderstood but brilliant footsteps and bc not liking people at least gives us something to talk about.
7. Linda: Even though college basketball was cancelled this year before a winner could be announced, Linda at least participated and made a bracket because she is a team player even if she doesn't care about sports. Also, I feel like I haven't talked to her much this month, so I'm putting her higher on the list than usual. Showering me in affection will earn her a better spot next month.
6. M: He keeps annoying me about writing stuff which means he spent the month being annoying for a purpose that helps 667, so that's better than like 70% of the people on this forum.
5. Penny: For making a thread in Disturbing Discussion and being an adorable, intelligent and caring person as per usual. (look at how many nice things there are to say about you!)
4. Bandit: He was the only other person on the forum when I started writing this. Also, we're secretly besties because we hang on multiple websites!
3. Sophie: Also created a bracket and is usually noteworthy for many reasons whether I am aware of them or not.
2. Kyle: Because he decided to become an internet hermit again but still has a 667 account.
1.Sam: He is an actual person on this forum and I am being very generous and giving him the top spot instead of Harry Styles, who arguably deserves it more. Sam wins the most important person of March because he likes hanging out and is fun to have in hangouts and the rest of you should follow his example and start hangouts more, possibly while drinking.
(Also there are a lot of dudes in this ranking list which is awesome of me since I'm being inclusive and there will most likely never be this many dudes again bc dudes can't win every month bc this isn't everything else in existence and ladies matter more anyway)
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~If anybody wants to contribute something (whether positive or negative) then feel free to PM me or any other staff members with your ideas~
~Also, feel free to make Lemona irritated so she has something to rant about~
~Send Anka some advice questions
~Who wants to be a guest artist? If you just shouted ‘ME ME ME’ Loudly at the screen then calm down, I can’t hear you. Instead I recommend that you PM concerning the guest artist slot~
~Who wants to be a guest writer? If you just shouted ‘PLEASE PICK ME, PLEASE!’ then hold your horses, you’re talking to a computer. Instead, why not PM concerning the guest writer slot~
~Make History! Then Linda can write about it~
~Does anybody want to be interviewed by Charlie? If so then PM him~
~Come to the penthouse on the 12th of April~
~If anyone wants to contribute random things then PM me!~
A RANDOM JOKE
This Month brought to you by Mister M
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Can you smell carrots?
A RANDOM VIDEO
This Month brought to you by Mister M (Again)
A RANDOMN SONG
By Terry
This one here's from a pretty awesome new blues band called the Blues Pills, whom I'm gonna see live in about 3 weeks time. They're from Sweden and fronted by a grittily soulful Swedish gal. The song's from their self-titled 2014 album-- Check it;
THINGS THAT ARE HAPPENING
667's anniversary is soon, and people are discussing plans for that.
Tiago is back!
People drink coffee, and now we are talking abour it
AND, Cupid is Feburary's member of the month!
Next Time : The Darkies