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Post by Seymour Glass on May 22, 2017 0:55:29 GMT -5
Oki, i thought it seemed to cover both, but lean towards duscussion of exclusion, rather than of fixation. Was wondering if u guys had any partic views on the individual scenarios. Like, is not wanting to date anyone who is black worse than only wanting to date people who r black? Neither is bad.
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Post by Poe's Coats Host Toast on May 22, 2017 1:14:12 GMT -5
I guess the former gives more of an impression to me that there might be more at play than just physical preference, but in theory, I'd agree that neither is bad, and I wouldn't think more of it, unless that person gave me more reason to think they have racist inclinations.
I mean, if you're wondering about someone else, they probably wouldn't say that out of nowhere, so you could ask them I guess; if you're wondering about yourself, you should probably know whether it's a purely physical preference or a vehement reaction based on more than appearance (the extent of one's "not wanting to date" should be a good indicator).
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Post by Reba on May 22, 2017 1:23:42 GMT -5
Oki, i thought it seemed to cover both, but lean towards duscussion of exclusion, rather than of fixation. Was wondering if u guys had any partic views on the individual scenarios. Like, is not wanting to date anyone who is black worse than only wanting to date people who r black? i bet fixation could be an equally uncomfortable thing to acknowledge, from the perspective of the race in question, because it could make them feel like their race was someone else's fetish. but it's only really problematic if it interferes with the relationship & i don't think you could label someone racist for either dating behaviors.
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Post by Charlie on May 22, 2017 1:34:19 GMT -5
I'm not wondering in relation to anyone, I've just seen ppl discuss this sorta thing, and thought some DDiscussion activity would be welcome
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Post by penne on May 22, 2017 9:23:22 GMT -5
ok so i didn't read all of the discussion and what is bear even doing with the gender thing but
i do think it's racist to have a preference for a certain race when dating or whatever
it's *consciously* racist when you just hate people of a certain race and don't want anything to do with 'em
and it's subconsciously racist when it's about ~attraction~ insofar as it's something our racist society has taught us, that there is a beauty standart and that standart is white
do we choose who we're attracted to? no, but i do think that it can change with time. sort of about realizing how we as a society or the media or whatever tend to praise really ok looking white people for being GORGEOUS while black people (for instance) wouldn't get looked at twice. idk this is something that i feel personally like from personal experience. sort of an awakening for me
now
what are ok looking people? what are GORGEOUS ppl? do these sort of beauty standarts play into centuries of genetical information or is it pure societal pressure? is it a matter of symetry? should we also make an effort to demolish this other stuff such as finding fat ppl unattractive?
i honestly don't know and sometimes i don't care enough to try and figure it out, but those are all valid questions i guess
edit: besides, so much of attraction *isn't* about physical appearance. personality is a part of it just as much
i guess this is also a reason why i feel it's racist to have a "preference", like... how can you say that without racial profiling
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Post by Reba on May 22, 2017 12:49:16 GMT -5
do you really think it inconceivable that when we talk about attraction to certain races, we could be talking about something other than white people?
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Post by penne on May 22, 2017 14:04:36 GMT -5
no, i don't think it inconceivable
however, in western society, where we're constantly being exposed to an european beauty ideal and other races are expected to and often want and try to conform to it, i think it's unlikely
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Post by Reba on May 22, 2017 14:19:11 GMT -5
unlikely or not, the question applies to all races. am i still being subconsciously racist if i told you i wasn't attracted to white people?
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Post by Poe's Coats Host Toast on May 22, 2017 14:25:13 GMT -5
From experience of ppl I know, there are many non-Asian folks who find themselves attracted to Asian over white people.
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Post by BSam on May 23, 2017 2:06:15 GMT -5
well yeah, asians are cute
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