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Post by Deleted on Mar 21, 2008 20:13:48 GMT -5
 Chapter 1 - The Unexpected Uncle “Kids, why don’t you go play at the beach” said Bertrand Baudelaire. He had expected today to be a normal relaxing day, but that was before his lazy freeloading brother showed up. Volt Baudelaire had always been the lazy one in the family. He never studied when they were in school. He never got a summer job when they were both teenagers. He had no marketable skills at all. He got by on one thing and one thing alone. Volt was a superhero, and could shoot electricity out of his hands. For a couple months he actually used it to stop crime as a masked fighter, but he got bored with it and continued living off his brother’s fortune. “Volt, what the hell are you doing here. We told you to never come back here again.” Bertrand yelled. Volt grabbed two beers from Bertrand’s refrigerator and flopped down on the couch. “Listen, Bert. I’m gonna need your help again. I’ve got a guy who’s offering me the greatest deal on his surround sound system. I’m gonna need 500 bucks, though. Come on bro.” Bertrand had been through this before. He had loaned his brother money time and time again, and had never received a penny of it back. Bertrand was a loving brother, so he tried to be understanding. After all, he did have a fortune to share and this was his brother. But then last month, Volt got in trouble with the law for breaking into a jewelry store. Bertrand got him a great lawyer who got the charges dropped, but Bertrand banned him from ever spending time with the children. He hadn’t seen him since, and never expected to again. “Now listen, Volt. If you are in desperate need of money, I’m sure we can work something out. But you are not allowed to bring your bad influence here and expose my children. Our lives are very fortunate right now and we don’t need you messing anything up.” Now Volt usually had a pretty calm head, but he was desperate for this speaker system. In an unwarranted fit of rage, he punched against the wall of the mansion. He accidentally emitted a huge bolt of electricity in the wall, which set it on fire. Volt was incredibly embarrassed by what he did, so he ran away without thinking about the consequences. Mr and Mrs. Baudelaire tried to escape the mansion too but unfortunately they choked on the smoke and collapsed. The whole mansion burned down and the Baudelaire parents tragically died. |
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Post by idiotj on Mar 21, 2008 20:19:57 GMT -5
good wokr
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Post by Fancy on Mar 21, 2008 20:21:54 GMT -5
Best story I have read in the past 5 minutes.
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Post by Very Funky Disco on Mar 21, 2008 20:35:58 GMT -5
Whoa! That's an interesting idea!  |
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Post by violet on Mar 21, 2008 21:14:22 GMT -5
Wow. Is Volt Olaf?
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Post by Libitina on Mar 21, 2008 22:25:21 GMT -5
You should consider writing in the blunt death genre more often. I miss it.
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Post by Hermedy on Mar 22, 2008 8:28:04 GMT -5
I agree. This was very refreshing.
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Post by Emma “Emmz” Squalor on Mar 22, 2008 10:16:27 GMT -5
That was great!
The ending was sad, but everything else was very funny.
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Post by Rellim on Mar 23, 2008 22:33:18 GMT -5
This was horrible. It had no Violaf.
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Post by melon head. on Mar 27, 2008 15:58:15 GMT -5
Good. Volt being a superhero cracked me up.
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Post by Deleted on May 18, 2008 16:33:04 GMT -5
Chapter 2 - The Startled Snake
Volt couldn’t get over what he had done to the parents of his nieces and nephew. He spent days wallowing in guilt, drinking to forget. But every morning he remembered again, and felt even worse about what he had done. He decided the only way he could feel better was to call his friend Mr. Poe and borrow some more money. He could use a Playstation. Volt dialed the numbers and Mr. Poe answered. “Arthur, I’ve had a bad week. I need some cash fast,” said Volt. “I can’t help you right now. I’m actually dealing with your brothers orphaned children right now. They need a new guardian,” said Mr. Poe. “Arthur, why can’t they just stay with me.” Mr. Poe sighed, then said “Well Volt, your brother’s will states that his children should never stay with you under any circumstances. They made it very clear they didn’t feel you were responsible enough. So we have them sent to Dr. Montgomery right now, since their first guardian didn’t work out.” Volt zoned out of the rest of the conversation. He sort of knew Dr. Montgomery, and he decided to pay him a visit. He needed to apologize to the orphans for his wrongdoings and make sure that they were safe.
The night he planned on leaving, Volt drank too many beers and ended up blacking out for a while. When he finally woke up, it was evening of the next day. He wanted to get to Dr. Montgomery’s house right away, so he flew there using his electromagnetic powers. It was the middle of the night when he finally arrived. He knocked on the door, but nobody answered. Volt was not known for his patience, so he kicked the door down and let himself in. He began to explore the house, and ended up in the reptile room. He saw Dr. Montgomery working with some snakes, so he walked up to him and said “Excuse me, Doctor.” Dr. Montgomery was startled and screamed. This caused Volt to freak out, and he accidently sent a shock to the snake Uncle Monty was holding. The snake, which was very poisonous, bit Uncle Monty. Volt freaked out and ran out of the house, embarrassed about what he had done. Uncle Monty tragically died of poisoning.
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Post by Rellim on May 18, 2008 16:42:25 GMT -5
Oh, poor Volt.  |
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Post by Shelly on May 18, 2008 16:54:01 GMT -5
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Post by F*** THE DAILY MAIL on May 18, 2008 17:55:19 GMT -5
"He could use a playstation."
XDDDDDDD
This is one creative fanfic.
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Post by Emma “Emmz” Squalor on May 18, 2008 18:18:38 GMT -5
Oh, my! *laughs so hard she falls out of chair* Poor Uncle Monty. But seriously, that chapter was very funny indeed.  BTW, Shelly, I absolutely love your new siggy. |
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