|
|
Post by Sixteen on Aug 2, 2009 10:15:54 GMT -5
Simply amazing.
|
|
|
|
Post by Libitina on Aug 2, 2009 21:29:08 GMT -5
This story is a hot commodity (? Tragedy).
|
|
|
|
Post by Hermes on Aug 3, 2009 9:11:13 GMT -5
Brilliant as always. Veronica, Klyde and Susie - wonderful!
|
|
|
|
Post by Hermedy on Aug 3, 2009 9:21:11 GMT -5
I hope that the next chapter is soon. Word on the street is that Volt undergoes a big change.
|
|
|
|
Post by melon head. on Aug 5, 2009 1:36:22 GMT -5
Really? I've been living on the street for nearly six years and have heard no such thing.
|
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 13, 2009 16:03:37 GMT -5
Chapter 9 - The Smelly Situation
Count Olaf and his troupe were driving to Caligari Carnival, discussing their plans for finding the Baudelaire’s, but Volt had his iPod in, with the volume all the way up. Count Olaf pulled over, and yelled “Volt, get the snacks out of the trunk.” Olaf went out, opened the trunk door and reached for the bags of rice cakes and the off brand cans of soda. Violet saw him and exclaimed “Uncle Volt, you’ve come to save us!” but Volt couldn’t hear her with his earbuds in and his vision was blurred from the vodka that the hook handed man shared with him, so he didn’t see them. He slammed the trunk door on Violet, then sang along to his playlist.
Volt and the other associates were really enjoying the carnival, and especially enjoyed meeting all the new freaks. Volt loved freaks. He especially liked Beverly and Elliott, who he thought looked vaguely familiar. Volt was also jealous though, because he wasn’t a freak and he wanted to be in the show. So he got together with the other associates, and said “Guys, let’s do a play for the carnival.” Volt reminisced about his past at Moonlight Theater in the mall, how free he felt while onstage, before he broke all the other cast members legs. The other associates were eager to perform as well, and the powder faced women has just happened to write a play a few days earlier, so they started rehearsing. During the rehersal, Olaf and Esme walked by. They were discussing what evil things they could add to the carnival to cause more disaster. Just then, Volt forgot his part, so he yelled out “Line.” Olaf misheard him, and said “Volt, you genius. We’ll get Lions, and put them in a pit.” Volt felt his stomach turn, then accidently broke Collette’s leg with the rubber chicken prop he was using. Luckily she was a contortionist so it fit right back.
After the play (which was a huge success), Olaf announced to the crowd that one of the freaks was going to be fed to the lions. Beverly and Elliott were chosen, and Volt looked at them sadly. Just then, he sobered up and realized that Beverly and Eliott were not a two headed person, but actually Violet and Klaus. Rattled with guilt, he turned around to run away once again. Unfortunately, he ran into Madame Lulu, and the two of them fell into the lion pit. Madame Lulu started crying, and Volt dropped his flask, spilling it everywhere. The lions licked it up, then passed out due to the strength of the alcohol. Madame Lulu stopped crying, and said “Volt, you saved me.” She noticed that the shirt had gotten some vodka on it, so she began to take it off. This aroused Volt, who set off an accidental shock of electricity to the lions. This woke them back up, and made them even angrier and somehow hungrier than before. They leapt at Madame Lulu and devoured her. The lions surrounded Volt next, and he tried to electrocute them. Unfortunately, he couldn’t get his power to work, so he just put his arms up in defeat. He was so stinky that the odor stunned the lions, causing them to die instantly. Volt went to the remaining puddle of vodka, licked it up, then passed out.
|
|
|
|
Post by Emma “Emmz” Squalor on Sept 13, 2009 18:26:03 GMT -5
Amazing as always. I loved how Volt completely missed seeing the Baudelaires in the trunk because he had his iPod on. Also, I can't believe the lions' deaths were caused by his lack of hygiene. Oh, wait. Yes I can.  |
|
|
|
Post by Hermedy on Sept 15, 2009 16:01:25 GMT -5
As usual, that was a funny chapter.
|
|
|
|
Post by Fancy on Sept 15, 2009 21:44:40 GMT -5
Volt reminisced about his past at Moonlight Theater in the mall Nice. |
|
|
|
Post by Rellim on Sept 18, 2009 15:13:55 GMT -5
beautifully written. i teared up a little in the end.
|
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 13, 2009 16:39:46 GMT -5
Chapter 10 - The Bare Burning
Volt woke up, covered in his own filth. Starving, he ate one of the lions raw, and then tried to fly out of the pit. Unfortunately, he was still too wasted, and kept flying straight into the ground over and over again. Thinking creatively, he started piling the lions on top of one another to form a makeshift staircase. He climbed up them, but was unfortunately one lion too short. Regretting eating the one lion, he started weeping. His tears fell on the lion he was sitting on, which restarted it’s heart and brought it back to life, but as a friendly lion. It leapt out of the pit with Volt still on its back, then looked back at Volt, wondering which way Volt wanted them to go. Volt had no idea where to go, so he looked at the big sign ahead of him. The sign didn’t have words, but colors with arrows pointing towards them. To the left, blue. To the right, red. Facing straight forward was grey, and Volt looked ahead to the Mortmain Mountains. He saw green smoke from the top of Mount Fraught. He knew it must be some of the new green cigarettes he had become addicted to and didn’t mention earlier, so he rode his lion, who he nicknamed Jerry, to the peak.
On the way up, Volt and Jerry ran into a massive swarm of Snow Gnats. They were attracted to the margaritas that Volt had been drinking, and bit him all over. He wasn’t wearing any clothes because he felt it would be wrong to wear clothes when Jerry couldn’t. Thankfully, his blood alcohol content kept him warm, but it allowed the gnats to bite him everywhere. He stopped at a building that said V.F.D. Headquarters, and hid inside to escape the gnats. By then he had sobered up a little so he was freezing. He started a fire in the fireplace, and fell asleep next to it. While sleeping, he accidently knocked over his giant vodka bottle, which poured into the fire and caused a huge explosion, setting the entire building on fire. Volt managed to escape, but Jerry tragically perished. Volt skinned Jerry, and wore him as a coat to honor his true friend. As he was running from the scene, he overheard a man with a beard and a woman who had hair saying “Oh good, it’s already been burned down.”
After running a while, Volt notices a toboggan coming down the hill as top speed. He notices it contains his nieces and nephew, so he started chasing after them. He was optimistic that this was finally the time he could save them, bring them back to his home. He thought about playing XBOX with Klaus. He thought about playing PS3 with Violet. He thought about playing Wii with Sunny. He thought about how he was too poor to buy any of those video game consoles, which made him angry. His anger caused an unintentional electric shock to hit the frozen waterfall ahead, which instantly melted it. He watched as the children floated away on blocks of ice. Unfortunately he wasn’t watching where he was going, because a chunk of ice hit him on the head, causing him to fall unconscious into the river. He floated down the river, frozen in a block of ice.
|
|
|
|
Post by Sixteen on Nov 13, 2009 16:44:22 GMT -5
Best chapter yet. When will he ever learn?
|
|
|
|
Post by Hermedy on Nov 14, 2009 10:46:22 GMT -5
Great chapter  |
|
|
|
Post by Emma “Emmz” Squalor on Nov 14, 2009 11:25:29 GMT -5
That was great! I loved the part about Volt's magical tears, and he named his lion 'Jerry'. Awww. |
|
|
|
Post by Hermes on Nov 14, 2009 12:28:42 GMT -5
Brilliant as always! He knew it must be some of the new green cigarettes he had become addicted to and didn’t mention earlier Of course. Had he mentioned that before? That makes a lot of sense. They were lying to Olaf, of course. They would. |
|
