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Post by pennyroyal on Sept 19, 2003 20:31:34 GMT -5
too messed up to hope to find some introverted peace of mind too unnerved to get in line
on and on and on it goes...
10 years to pay for the crime a magazine to pass the time i am yours and you are mine
on and on and on it goes...
there's this not knowing what to do should i be who i'm not for you? my life's a lie so what is true
on and on and on it goes...
yeah. i may be adding another verse, i dont know. and i may change the third line of the first stanza to "to uncouth to stand in line" or some variation of that.
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Post by MambaduMal on Sept 20, 2003 8:34:26 GMT -5
That was very very good. May I have some of your talent, please? I especially like the part about the magazine... just the thought of having to amuse yourself with a magazine for ten years is very symbolic and vivid If you changed the line to "uncouth", I don't think it would work as well. You've already packed plenty of "big words" in there... I dunno if the average head-banger would be able to process it It doesn't need another verse, I don't think, you don't want to overstate it too much, and the third verse is a nice closing verse. Okay... you don't have to listen to any of this... I can't write songs very well, so I dunno how much my opinion counts But I think the song is kickin'. Keep writing
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Post by Indistinguishable Blob on Sept 20, 2003 14:32:05 GMT -5
That was very very good. May I have some of your talent, please? I especially like the part about the magazine... just the thought of having to amuse yourself with a magazine for ten years is very symbolic and vivid If you changed the line to "uncouth", I don't think it would work as well. You've already packed plenty of "big words" in there... I dunno if the average head-banger would be able to process it It doesn't need another verse, I don't think, you don't want to overstate it too much, and the third verse is a nice closing verse. Okay... you don't have to listen to any of this... I can't write songs very well, so I dunno how much my opinion counts But I think the song is kickin'. Keep writing *is in awe* I'm just going to steal Mamba's answer... *more awe* Great song... And Swans- MSCL? My So Called Life? I'm guessing? I think? I don't know, but really...this had a purpose, but I forgot. So, I'm just going to say this: "Swans...really... " *is envious of pennyroyal's artistic talents*
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Post by Shaffuru! on Sept 20, 2003 14:38:34 GMT -5
Love the song. You can really write, man. Like... all that rhyminess... so good. Yeah. You know what, I think I'll just use Lauren's response, too.
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Post by MambaduMal on Sept 20, 2003 14:43:00 GMT -5
Haha... I should start putting copyrights on my post ;D
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Post by pennyroyal on Sept 20, 2003 17:59:07 GMT -5
heres the story:
a long time ago i got the idea to right a song called new york city. from there it evolved into new york times, and this sat at the back of my head for a while. i had this nameless riff... the two just connected. i wanted to make the lyrics really incoherent and disjointed, like nirvana. the end result wasnt totally like that but i was still happy with it. musically, its sounds like a combination of "Monkey Gone To Heaven" by the Pixies, "Totally Natural" by Trail of Dead, and several Nirvana songs, especially "You Know You're Right" and "Milk It".
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Post by Colton on Sept 20, 2003 22:21:13 GMT -5
hey man, this song is totally unbelievable. id liek to hear it sang to music. what instrument do you play? *shakes your hand and hands souffle' a medallion to hang around your neck* amazing*jumps for joy and leaps for laziness* *steals mamba's answer and doesnt give it back*
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Post by pennyroyal on Sept 20, 2003 22:58:41 GMT -5
i actually didnt choose the title because of that, but its most definitely open for interpretation...
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Post by Indistinguishable Blob on Sept 22, 2003 19:48:23 GMT -5
I was referring to the whole teenage apathy stuff.. reading y'all's journals and then reading the recaps. I just noticed the "teenaginess" of you guys. Like Angela is sitting at dinner with her mom, pushing her fork around the plate.. and Angela thinks "I can't even look at my mother without wanting to stab her". heh, heh..."I can't even look at my mother without wanting to stab her"...ha ha ha...quite close actually... But "teenageriness". Crud. I've become a depressed, apathetic teen with a slight need to rebel. Great. Everything I never wanted to be.... *sigh*
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Post by Colton on Sept 23, 2003 4:05:01 GMT -5
you never wanted to be a teenager growing up? i remember i always wanted to be bitter resentful and rebellious when i was little. juss like my sister was . but back to the topic, wonderful song. better than most garbage thrown on the air today. i sure would replace nelly or 50 cent with stuff like this to fill mainstream stations the nation over.
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Post by Green on Sept 23, 2003 15:40:56 GMT -5
Your song is great! It is thoughtful and interesting and full of overall spiffyness.
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Post by ponygirl's vapor on Sept 24, 2003 18:37:39 GMT -5
when you get your own band pennyroyal, i expect you to put us in the thanks of your albums... hehe
that song is great... does your voice sound like alien ant farm on this one too?
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Post by pennyroyal on Sept 24, 2003 18:57:50 GMT -5
that song is great... does your voice sound like alien ant farm on this one too? no, not even close. and its a much better song than that one. the vocals on this one are most like kurt cobain or frank black.
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Post by ponygirl's vapor on Sept 24, 2003 19:03:30 GMT -5
even more want for of the hearing of it...
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Post by Shaffuru! on Sept 24, 2003 19:11:19 GMT -5
Could we hear it Chris? Do you have a programme or something on your computer you could record it with?
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