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Post by DetectiveDupin on Jan 22, 2004 14:52:15 GMT -5
The Thing
It crawled from nowhere, creeping through the darkness behind a cloak of black danger waving through the mist, of the earth, a sinister stranger
It leaped from rock to rock, crouching down, hiding in the murky fog it leaped below, down from the cliffs, and landed in a thick bubling bog
Clawing, the thing recahes earth, and begins on his travels once more the lonley thing hides in the grasses of the forest leady floor
As the thing continues, scraping along, it cautiously peeks around in day it hears a sound, all grizzly and loud, and nears it's unaware prey
It claws and bites, and kill, does the thing, and then goes on it's way for the thing is in danger's path it'll end come what may As it nears the cave, a claw strikes out, knocks down the creepy suspicious thing, he lies, unsoundly on the floor for his no longer his king.
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Post by Colton on Jan 22, 2004 22:09:03 GMT -5
wow. *claps* also, i didnt know you were Dupin nice to see you again. i thought you ran away and joined the carnival... also, i have no constructive critisism, except it was a bit dufficult to read in a rhymey sorta way. you should change the words around a bit till it flows and can be read rast and furiously, like The Raven is read. but it is rather well written. i didnt know there was any creativity in you...
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Post by DetectiveDupin on Jan 23, 2004 12:41:38 GMT -5
Well, I'm more then just a dumb blonde.
Wait..I'm not blonde..
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Post by Colton on Jan 24, 2004 1:35:48 GMT -5
heh. dumb brunette..
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Post by DetectiveDupin on Jan 24, 2004 3:35:16 GMT -5
Except for the fact I'm not dumb.
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Post by Colton on Jan 24, 2004 16:22:23 GMT -5
heh... yeah.. right..
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Post by No One Mourns the Wicked on Jan 24, 2004 16:56:07 GMT -5
Wow, that was really good!
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Post by DetectiveDupin on Jan 25, 2004 3:53:15 GMT -5
heh... yeah.. right.. hmmm..sure Thank's ginnyriddle !
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Post by Colton on Jan 26, 2004 15:24:36 GMT -5
*back on topic* wonderful poetry. its like poetry....
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Post by Mrs. (Alphonse) Elric on Jan 28, 2004 18:25:42 GMT -5
That was cool! Errr... Smashing! It kinda reminded me of LOTR. But instead of whatever killed Isealdor it was Gollum! Sweetness!
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Post by Colton on Jan 28, 2004 18:32:11 GMT -5
wow.. er... yeah... umm.. so, dupin, you working on anyhtring else?
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Post by DetectiveDupin on Jan 29, 2004 13:29:37 GMT -5
Yeah, I'm writing another one now..
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Post by DetectiveDupin on Feb 6, 2004 15:52:32 GMT -5
The Man Bought A Sweater, he found it on sale It was a nice shade of blue, and it was fairly pale The man put it on, and it fit him just right, and he wore it all day and he wore it all night.
It was made of pure wool, that was soft in his touch, and this man love this sweater ever so much The sweater was loved so much more, then any other clothes in the mans drawer
But alas, the next day, the man mate his fate the sweater was itchy, and he began hate He scratched and he scratched, but the sweater still itched He called it an idiot, he called it a magee,
But the jumper was horrible, and made him all red he had had enough, and so he said "If I itch any more, i surely will pop!" and then the next day, he took it back to the shop.
Meh.It't more of a humourous-random one.
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Post by negativenine on Feb 7, 2004 21:37:45 GMT -5
Ha! Wh00p for humourous randomness! Very nice! Rhyming Itch with magee was great. I have a rash at the moment (it's cold and my skin is dry and rubbing)... and I agree with said man. "If I itch any more, I surely will pop!"
Hey! In your first poem you wrote "it's" instead of "its". You should know that it apostrophy s means it is... and "its" is belonging to it! You call yourself an ASOUE fan? Only joking of course. The first one's well done, too, although I agree with Colton about the rhymeyness.
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Post by Colton on Feb 8, 2004 4:14:52 GMT -5
woohoo! very posh! *claps* *starts crowd up by yelling " Go George! "*
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