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Post by Libitina on Apr 15, 2008 14:27:42 GMT -5
Pfft, we never would have won that. Ever. Sorry for fighting you, J.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 26, 2008 16:10:18 GMT -5
Round 1 - Match 5
Swans was pooping. Rellim and Fancy were hanging out by the toilet, gossiping about Tragedy’s flaws. They were waiting for the masked fighter to show up, so they wouldn’t have to forfeit. Finally this mysterious figure showed up, made flashy moves such as backflips. Meanwhile in the other room, Despair and Misery were playing video games like SSX Tricky and Tekken. Woe was talking to her friends on the phone and using Friendster. Dismay tried to get them pumped for the fight, but none of them really cared because they were boring. Nobody even knew what their personalities were like. They heard the bell that marked the beginning of the match, and both teams entered the arena.
“Today’s match takes place on Count Olaf’s stage” said Daniel Handler. Lemony Snicket is getting his driver’s license renewed, so I will be the sole referee.” He ushered the two teams to separate corners of the stage. “On the count of three, the match will start. One, Two, Three.”
Misery and Despair had their gameboys with them and they were linked up playing pokemon. “I’ll trade you my mewtwo for your Arcticuno” said Misery. Woe was lying on the ground, upset that she was away from her computer. “Come on, you losers. Start fighting” said Dismay. But none of her teammates really felt like it. Swans rounded up her team. “All right you guys, this seems like it might be too easy. But let’s at least have some fun with it. SNEAK ATTACKS. POOP” Swans jumped up to the rafters, and hid behind a light. The masked fighter shook its head, then sat down at the edge of the stage. It was a master fighter, one of the best in the world. Yet it was stuck fighting against some jokers. Fancy and Rellim decided they would fight Dismay together, because she would actually do something.
Rellim got in front of Dismay, and grabbed her arms. Dismay kicked, hitting Rellim in the chin. Rellim twisted her left arm and Dismay screamed. Fancy ran up from behind and yanked her hair. Dismay fell on the ground, and the two girls did a few stomps. Then they held hands, and gazed into each others eyes. Woe had fallen asleep on the stage, and Daniel Handler declare her out. Meanwhile, Misery and Despair were still playing their Gameboys. They were dueling each other, oblivious to swans glaring at them overhead. Swans pulled off one of the lights and threw it down, smashing Misery in the head. Despair looked up in shock, only to see swans coming down hard with her elbow to his face. The two of them fell in a bloody pile. “God, what a boring match” said Rellim, still looking at Fancy. Then she licked her lips. Fancy’s eyes lit up in excitement.
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Post by Rellim on Apr 26, 2008 16:27:09 GMT -5
Woo!
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Post by Shelly on May 22, 2008 17:02:14 GMT -5
BUMP
This shouldn't die.
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Post by Deleted on May 24, 2008 11:58:25 GMT -5
Round 1 - Match 6
Snicket was performing magic tricks to Sora and Cybermystery. Sora gasped in amazement then clapped after Snicket pulled a quarter out from behind his ears, while Cybermystery took notes as to how to be just like his idol Snicket. Sixteen was sitting on the other side of the room, somewhat embarrassed by his teammates. He wasn’t as embarrassed as Freshie’s cardboard cutouts however, who were as ashamed as any inanimate object had ever been. The Robert cardboard cutout was making gangster signs and had a speech bubble that said “What can I say, the boy’s fresh.” The sailor moon and Johnny Depp cutouts were doing whatever those two do. Freshie was giving them a speech about how much she loved her 7 e-boyfriends. They all heard the bell ring, and left to go into the arena.
“Today’s match will take place in Curdled Cave” said Lemony Snicket. “Daniel Handler is busy knitting scarves, so I will be the sole referee today.” He motioned for them to get on opposite sides of the cave, although it was fairly small so it didn’t really matter. Freshie set up her cutouts into the most formidable positions she could. Snicket said something really nerdy, and his team all saluted. “On the count of three, the match will start. One, Two, Three.”
Cybermystery wanted to prove to Tragedy he was a worthy heir to the throne, so he went and attacked the sailor moon cardboard cutout. He wound up and swung, but ended up missing the cutout. However, he did graze the side of it which gave him a papercut. He yelped in pain and fell to the ground, rocking back and forth until he eventually passed out. Snicket was devastated by the loss of his little buddy, and vowed to avenge his death. After giving an inspirational speech from an episode of Battlestar Galactica or something like that, he went and heroically knocked over all the cardboard cutouts. Then he did a victory dance. While he was dancing around, Freshie weakly punched him in the arm. He grabbed his arm in pain, then fell to the ground.
Sora looked up from his signed picture of Kyle, then looked at it again. He sighed, wishing he was manly enough to fight Freshie so he could prove to Kyle his worth. He fell to the ground meekly and sobbed, eventually falling asleep. Sixteen looked around at his fallen teammates, wishing he had chosen some stronger friends. However, he knew that he could beat Freshie and take them to the second round. Freshie stood over Snicket’s body, amazed that she had actually taken somebody out, but wished it had been somebody more powerful than Snicket. Then Sixteen looked up and saw a stalactite directly over Freshie’s head. Realizing this was his chance, he grabbed the framed photo of Kyle that Sora was still holding, and tossed it like a throwing star towards the stalactite. The stalactite cracked, and stuck straight into Freshie’s skull. She sang some Franz Ferdinand lyrics, then fell to the ground. Sixteen shook his head, then cleaned up the mess before the realtor showed up.
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Post by Shelly on May 24, 2008 17:11:50 GMT -5
What's the difference between a stalactite and a stalagmite? I know it, just wanted to ask.
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Post by Hermedy on May 26, 2008 10:43:31 GMT -5
I think Match 6 was the best so far. And that's saying something because each episode has been entertaining.
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Post by Fancy on May 26, 2008 16:43:37 GMT -5
And that's saying something because each episode has been entertaining. Suck-up.
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Post by Charles Vane on Jun 12, 2008 14:31:13 GMT -5
!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Post by Charles Vane on Jun 12, 2008 14:31:54 GMT -5
Update please.
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Post by Sixteen on Jun 13, 2008 6:20:13 GMT -5
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Post by Linda Rhaldeen on Jun 18, 2008 0:55:11 GMT -5
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Post by Charles Vane on Jun 18, 2008 23:44:17 GMT -5
See three people commented about you updating! And only one of them was me unlike your Volt story.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 28, 2008 12:55:36 GMT -5
Round 1 - Match 7 Kate changed the channel to MTV so she could watch the next episode of “A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila 2” so she could make fun of it in her lj. Ann rollerskated in and started making fun of the reality show with Kate. Mr. Who was being an annoying guy as usual, bothering Trish so much that she considered knocking him out before the match even began. Meanwhile in the other room, the boring MSN 4 were sitting around discussing celebrity Big Brother or something. Dupin was whining about having to face the people who showed the world of 667 his real name. Kimia and Aimee said something semi comforting but still really boring to him. Skalu was masturbating because he is a pervert. The bell rang for the beginning of the match, and the two teams came out ready to fight.
“Today’s match will take place in the operating room in Heimlich Hospital” said Daniel Handler. “Lemony Snicket is busy attending an anniversary of a forum that he values more than you guys, so I will be the sole referee.” He ushered the two teams to opposite sides of the room. “You may use no outside weapons, and also you must wash your hands before the match so that you don’t contaminate the area. On the count of three, the match will start. One, two, THREE”
The two teams lined up at the sink to wash their hands. At the end of the line was Mr. Who. He started making farm animal noises. Aimee, who was directly in front of him, elbowed him in the stomach. “Hey, stop that, Magnetic fields lyric.” Then he started dancing around spastically, and took his shirt off. Skalu got turned on by this and started rubbing Mr. Who’s chest sensually. By this time, everybody else had finished washing their hands. Kate, Ann and Trish had a secret meeting with Dupin, Aimee and Kimia while all of this happened. “Listen” said Kate. “These fu-cks are embarrassing to our teams. How about we take them out, then start a 3 vs. 3 match before one of them screws us over.” Everybody nodded in agreement. Trish and Ann grabbed some blades and drove them into Mr Who’s back. He fell to the ground, yelling “I don’t celebrate birthdays.” Aimee and Kimia took steel bedpans and smashed them against Skalu’s head. He fell to the ground, yelling “Boobs.” The two teams then went to their corners to begin what they considered the real match.
Dupin stood on top of the counter and started yelling orders to the rest of his team, because he always felt he was a great leader. Kimia and Aimee groaned, but still tried to double team Trish. Kimia kicked Trish in the stomach, while Aimee double punched her in the face. Kate was standing in the corner dying her hair, but when she saw her lover Trish being beaten up, she couldn’t take it. She was even angrier than the time Dupin made her stop talking about Degrassi in a thread that wasn’t about Degrassi. She took the bin of tongue depressors and slammed Aimee against the wall. Then, she started stabbing the blunt popsicle sticks into Aimee’s body as she screamed, then passed out. Next, Kate took the bin of cotton balls and forced them all down Kimia’s throat while Ann held her back. Dupin was still standing at the top yelling orders, but he hadn’t noticed that his cronies weren’t following them since he had his eyes closed the entire time. Kate and Ann held hands, then ran up on the counter and clotheslined him. He knocked his head against the bed as he fell, landing face first on the ground. Daniel Handler declared him knocked out, but Kate and Ann kept stomping on him yelling his full name out loud. Daniel Handler wondered why he had bothered having them wash their hands considering how bloody the room was.
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Post by Sixteen on Jun 28, 2008 13:06:12 GMT -5
I love it. This is my favoutite match so far.
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