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Post by MambaduMal on Apr 10, 2004 19:01:43 GMT -5
It gets harder and harder to find Disturbing Discussion topics that haven't already been discussed... So I guess this is a new enough topic. Adultery. What is your definition of it? Does it only pertain to having a relationship outside of a marriage, or can it be cheating on a significant other? Does it have to be a sexual relationship? Is it wrong from a religious standpoint? Is it best kept secret, or told to the partner? Can those who have committed adultery be forgiven? What if you found yourself in a horrible marriage, and suddenly your true love showed up out of nowhere? Might you consider it? Blah, my brain's not working well right now... so if this makes no sense, there's a reason
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Post by ponygirl's vapor on Apr 10, 2004 19:07:27 GMT -5
As far as I'm concerned, even looking at other people (while in marriage) with lust in your eyes is adultery. And, I'm sure most religions would agree that it is morally wrong.
And about telling your spouse about it- it might cause a little disruption in the relationship for awhile, but it would probably improve it long-term wise. If you kept it to yourself it would just grow and grow. Whereas if you told, it tells your spouse you are faithful to the relationship and aren't scared to share your thoughts.
"But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already commited adultery with her in his heart." Matthew 5:28 NIV
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Post by xangelkimzx on Apr 11, 2004 13:05:11 GMT -5
Woah woah woah... slow it down... hey, what is adultery? Sorry for the retarded act, but I've just been eating Creme eggs and they usually distract me from, well, life.
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Post by MambaduMal on Apr 11, 2004 13:12:02 GMT -5
Salright... creme eggs are yummy ;D Adultery is having an extramarital relationship, i.e. cheating on your husband/wife. It usually only pertains to sex out of marriage, and it's always willingly (rape doesn't count as adultery). Anyway, it can be a pretty touchy subject... Thanks for commenting, Zach You've brought up some good points. I'll share my views perhaps when more people have commented.
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Post by Kobolos on Apr 11, 2004 14:19:37 GMT -5
As far as I'm concerned, even looking at other people (while in marriage) with lust in your eyes is adultery. Klaus you are doomed to have an ulcer by the time you are 40. By that reckoning, I have 145, 967, 937 adultry moments each day. Wilt Chamberlin, you got nothing on me. Now then: Take it from Uncle Los, sometimes you do stupid things when you are young. Adultery is one of them. Two myths we will bust: 1) A leopard doesn't change it's spots, and cheaters won't change either this is plain Bull. Although if you are thinking about cheating on someone you should really reconsider why you are with them in the first place. I cheated on my Ex...we got away from each other, we both married other people the same year and we are both otherwise happy. Cheaters cheat because they can. It's a decision they make. I've never cheated on my wife, but I have been with other women, why? go to #2: 2) It's not cheating if your mate knows about it/gives permission/is involved. I came upon an epiphany during my first months of blissful marriage...it's not cheating if you bring your mate with you. There you are. discuss.
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Post by Madamluna on Apr 11, 2004 14:28:41 GMT -5
I came upon an epiphany during my first months of blissful marriage...it's not cheating if you bring your mate with you. HAHAHAHA BEST QUOTE EVERGenerally, I think: adultery isn't very nice unless you're in an open relationship, but then would it really count as adultery? *head spin*
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Post by xangelkimzx on Apr 11, 2004 14:43:36 GMT -5
Er.... dunno... I know zilch about this matter.
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Post by Kobolos on Apr 11, 2004 22:29:39 GMT -5
HAHAHAHA BEST QUOTE EVERGenerally, I think: adultery isn't very nice unless you're in an open relationship, but then would it really count as adultery? *head spin* I'm greedy, I'm all for a second female but I'd never consent to the ideal of another male in the mix...It's simple "Alpha wolf" mentality...but perhaps there is more to it. I was thinking about Klaus and the Bible today.... Here is a pop quiz for you: throughout human history 80 per cent of human cultures have practiced some form of polygamy, and that monogamy is actually the exception and not the rule when it comes to human behavior. Name me a great hero in the Bible who actually practiced monogamy, since group sex with multiple partners is the norm in the majority of human societies throughout history...and this is certainly true of the societies that are represented in the Bible. I say this since conservative religious clerics like to assert that somehow this imposed monogamy represents the most basic human value and is somehow historically the norm for human beings and thus forms what they like to call ‘the fundamental basis for human civilization'. It certainly wasn't the norm or the fundamental basis for those societies described in the Bible, and no one in these cultures was inclined to practice monogamy. Given that Catholicism had not been invented at that time, they therefore lived a little closer to true human nature and practiced a type of group sex (even today non-monogamous relationships are the norm, except of course that it is called cheating and adultery, whereas it was institutionalized in the cultures that created the Bible and thus was not ‘a sin' nor was it considered some kind of crime that had to be committed surreptitiously). The Bible provides hints as to how non dominant males dealt with sexuality in a world still mimicing the ancient primate social order. We are told that Judah, celebrated as the ancestor of Christ, was in the habit of sleeping with prostitutes he found loitering and waiting for customers by the side of the road. This dominance over females by the wealthier and dominant males in society thus created the institution of prostitution out of necessity, since subordinate males were unable to find females with which to breed, and thus, like Judah, resorted to prostitutes. This practice of emulating primate sexuality and practicing legalized promiscuity by keeping a stable of monkeys on hand in a private monkey house continued on through the age of states and empires and only came to an end during the rise of Christianity. In its original form Christianities emphasis on monogamous marriage can actually be seen as egalitarian, when compared to what came before. Most of the dominant males kept quite large harems and so a women could expect to be engaged sexually only on very rare occasions, and this type of polygamous sexuality, while it allowed certain privileged males to escape from the boredom of undesirable monogamy, imposed an intolerable burden on both the women who were being exploited in these arrangements and also on the subordinate males who were being forced to take their chances with VD by picking up prostitutes as Judah was in the habit of doing (so the Bible tells us). The hypocrisy of these ancient societies as described in the Bible is also worth noting, for Judah was in the habit of sleeping with prostitutes, however if a woman of your own tribe was found to be a prostitute honor required that you burn her to death, and Judah demands that a woman of his tribe be burned in just such a way for practicing prostitution. Apparently it was okay to sleep with a hooker, provided you found some willing girl that belonged to some other tribe. Of course the subordinate males from those other tribes would also be looking to screw your sister or your cousin, thus letting your tribe bear the ‘dishonor', just as Judah was willing to burn girls from his tribe while ‘dishonoring' girls from other tribes, but then the subordinate males did need to get laid somehow right, and so it went. Thus endeth the lesson.
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Post by Kobolos on Apr 11, 2004 23:27:15 GMT -5
I have to agree with Kobolos on some points.. Do you know how long I've ached to hear those words? I drink them now like a fine merlot...
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Post by Kobolos on Apr 11, 2004 23:54:13 GMT -5
I know you do...I just like razzing you when I can.
Anywhoo:
the arrangement we have have is this, I won't agree to another male, so it has to be a female we both agree on. I make suggestions, she has final veto.
Hardly the definition of an "open relationship" in my eyes...As a matter of fact, she is more open to "casual sex" than I am...Hense, those that we are open to are usually single women we have both been friends with for some time.
And it doesn't happen often, I'm much too paranoid of catching something.
Steph has flirtations on-line...I used to but I'm becoming complacent in my old age...my last "on-line girlfriend" considers herself Steph's girlfriend too.
Isn't that a Type O song?
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Post by Kobolos on Apr 12, 2004 0:17:03 GMT -5
nope, she has her little harem of on-line cabana boys...they just have to be respectful of her marriage, that's my only requirement...and if they talk smack about me I usually request she smite them.
she cybers sometimes in the aspect that she "roleplays" in the Storyteller systems from White Wolf games...so it's "in character", and you're right, it's more about emotions and creative writing than "getting off"
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Post by Kobolos on Apr 12, 2004 0:32:26 GMT -5
I totally understand. If it was anyone else but Steph I don't think I could have such an open communication line.
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Post by Kobolos on Apr 12, 2004 0:43:23 GMT -5
we were friends on-line for about two years, she had just had an on-line fling turned real life relationship go bad, and so had I...we had a common bond in out shared misery and it sort of evolved from there....
I've always said i would only get married once...and she was the one out of them all that I settled down with...so she's stuck with me...
as for how do I know she won't cheat? I trust her. I can't explain it better than that.
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Post by xangelkimzx on Apr 12, 2004 14:06:40 GMT -5
All this... its so fascinitating... Hey, I don't mean to sound cheeky, but... can you two (Swans and Kobolos)... carry on talking... yay!
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Post by Kobolos on Apr 12, 2004 16:44:30 GMT -5
actually, I'm still waiting for Jerome or someone to answer my Bible post...
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