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Post by melon head. on Nov 14, 2008 17:03:43 GMT -5
Dewey raised his eyebrows and exchanged a look with Bertrand. He then strode over to Jerome and took his stick. "Try mine," he said kindly. Jerome took the stick. He could grip it easily because it was thinner and sat better in his hands. Thanking Dewey, he leant over the table and managed to hit a ball right into the corner net. Dewey and Bertrand both cheered, not mentioning that you were meant to hit the white ball. *** "So of course this was a life changing decision, and under most circumstances I would have taken my time in deciding, but it seemed so obvious that I couldn't bring myself to think it over, so I went for it, and I've never been happier. And then I started seeing a therapist who told me to channel my anger into little things like sports. But that didn't work so I quit my appointments with her and started seeing this guy who turned out to be Ernest's uncle, Simon. So Ernest and I became friends and I found out that he hates Kit and Beatrice and stuff as much as me, so we decided to play a prank where he'd switch the vitamins that Kit takes to protein capsules for men, but he actually put in these weird drug-type things, so of course I was all thingy because my cousin Ed had just died of a drug overdose. So naturally I seethed revenge by dobbing him in and stuff but then he got all mad at me and spread rumors and then when I tattled for the vitamin thing he said he'd kill me but then we became friends again and now we're going to get Kit and Dewey expelled because we're going to record them hooking up in the library which we know they'll have to do eventually." Geraldine beamed. "Cool," Jacques said, smiling. He was terrified to the point of madness. "I'm going to go to the men's room." Hurrying downstairs, he found Kit, Beatrice and Esme in the Common Room, reading magazines and giggling. "Kit," he panted. "Geraldine- Dewey- expelled- you- library-" "Geraldine is going to get Dewey and me expelled by catching us hooking up in the library?" Kit gaped at her brother. "You're good," Jacques said, taken aback. Beatrice asked what they were going to do. "I can't do anything," Jacques said sadly. "I have to go look at more orphanages." Esme rolled her eyes, saying that she supposed the girls would have to figure it own on their own.
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Post by Emma “Emmz” Squalor on Nov 14, 2008 20:44:39 GMT -5
Jacques wished them luck and apologized for not being able to do anything more. A few minutes later, the principal came by and escorted him out of the commons room. “I wish Jerome was here,” Esmé said once the door had closed behind Jacques and the principal. “Why?” Beatrice asked. “Esmé, your boyfriend is the most passive person in the whole of Prufrock Prep. He wouldn’t be able to offer any assistance or even advice because he’s so afraid of arguing.” “We’re all afraid of something, Beatrice. At least Jerome is noble enough to offer moral support.” Esmé looked dreamy. “And I know he would if he were here.” “I miss Lemony,” Beatrice said. Now that she’d had a break from her boyfriend’s prolonged pouting and continuous tears, she had to admit that she was beginning to miss him quite a bit. Kit said she felt the same in regards to Dewey, but that the three of them couldn’t waste time sitting around the commons room when there was work to be done. “Jacques said that Geraldine hates you and Beatrice the most,” Esmé said, and hoped that neither of her two girlfriends would take it as an insult on her part. Judging by their soft expressions, they didn’t, and Esmé continued. “The only beef she has with me is due to the time I ruined her microphone. And since my parents have already paid for it, then she has no reason to hate me, right?” “I hope so,” Beatrice said. “What? Are you doubting me?” “No, Esmé, of course not. But you don’t exactly have the sharpest memory. What if Geraldine tells you something important, and then you forget?” “I won’t forget!” Esmé snapped defensively. “I’m perfectly capable of remembering details that are important.” Kit advised Esmé to keep her voice down, and for Beatrice to trust her. “I do trust her,” Beatrice explained. “But she does have a tendency to fail tests after studying for hours the night before.” “That’s because tests are boring,” Esmé practically whined. “How am I supposed to focus on something I have absolutely no interest in?” Kit said that Esmé had a valid point, and that it was unlikely she would forget anything when the information she obtained would possibly help both her and those closest to her. “I’m sorry, Esmé. Kit’s right,” Beatrice said. “If you really feel you can handle it, then you should be the one to speak to Geraldine.” “You won’t regret it,” Esmé said, and left the commons room to search for aspiring journalist. *** Esmé caught up with Geraldine just outside the science lab. She grinned to see the girl in ponytails running towards her. “Hey,” Geraldine said. “What’s up? I thought you’d be with your two friends.” Esmé— who had skipped breakfast and had eaten no more than a piece of bread with a single swipe of margarine for lunch —paused to lean against a locker and catch her breath. “I needed to talk to you,” she replied after a few moments. “Shoot.” “I take it you’ve heard about the debate team’s trip to Canada?” “Well, duh,” Geraldine replied smugly. “There were flyers posted all over the hallway and in every classroom for months.”“Do you know anything about what Jerome Squalor, Dewey Denouement, and Bertrand Baudelaire are doing in Canada,” Esmé asked, “when none of them are members of the debate team?”
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Post by melon head. on Nov 21, 2008 1:15:03 GMT -5
"Actually," Geraldine said tartly, "Dewey is a member of the team. I saw him debate against St Gregory's a few months ago." This momentarily slowed Esme, but she regained her composure and asked what Jerome and Bertrand were doing there. "I can't tell you," Geraldine replied, pursing her lips. "I wouldn't have a clue." She was rummaging through her bag as she spoke. "Shoot, I can't find my wallet. I was going to go meet Ernest for a coffee in a few minutes." Esme sighed, knowing what she'd have to do in order to get this information out of Geraldine. She'd have to suck up to her. Annoyed, she offered Geraldine twenty dollars. "Thanks, Esme! Do you want to come?" Esme nodded, groaning inwardly. This was going to be a long afternoon. *** Esme trudged up the stairs, irked. "What happened?" Kit asked. Esme explained the dialogue that had taken place between her and Geraldine. Beatrice let out a sympathetic sigh. "That's unfortunate," Kit said. "Would you like us to come spy on you?" Esme said she'd be okay, as long as they were only going to the cafe around the corner. "Good." Beatrice advocated that she was going to freshen up, and Esme said she'd go with her. Both girls checked that Kit would be alright on her own. "I'll be fine," Kit assured the, gratefully. *** Lemony was slouched on his bed, a magazine open on his lap, tears running down his face. Stupid Esme and Beatrice, he thought. They're so mean to me even though my parents just died.He wondered if Beatrice had, somewhere amidst being annoying, broken up with him. Probably. And stupid Kit. Just because she's gotten over Mom and Dad's deaths so quickly. She's like a rock. In fact, I can't even remember the last time she cried. And what's with the whole "Let's bring Esme and Beatrice everywhere with me"? Why does she need them all the time? It's not like she-Suddenly, it became painfully obvious. Lemony sprung up from his bed and raced down the hall to the common room. There sat Kit, alone. "Where are Beatrice and Esme?" he asked. Kit looked up at him. "They went to the bathroom." Lemony sat down and put an arm around his sister. "I figured it out," he muttered. "They're always hanging around you because you need them for emotional support. Dewey's away, so you can't cry on his shoulder, and Jacques is going away, so you can't talk to him, and I'm just moping around all day crying like an idiot when I should be looking after my little sister." "I miss them so much," Kit croaked. Lemony looked down at her and saw she was crying. "It's okay, I've got you." He held Kit tighter still and kissed her on her head. Esme and Beatrice strode up from the bathroom, surprised to see Lemony holding a tearful Kit. "You guys can go," Kit sobbed. They nodded and left. Lemony didn't cry again. He'd cried enough. And all the while, Kit had not let a single tear out, desperate to hold on to her composure in order to look after he brother, when he should have been looking after her.
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Post by Emma “Emmz” Squalor on Nov 21, 2008 16:27:38 GMT -5
“Would you like me to come along with you?” Beatrice offered as she and Esmé schlepped back down the stairs. Esmé shook her head. “No,” she replied. “I should be alright. Besides, someone other than Lemony should stay behind and look after Kit.” Beatrice nodded in agreement as they came to the front doors leading out onto the grounds. “But what about you? Isn’t Ernest Denouement going to be there, too?” “You let me worry about Ernest.” “If he starts in,” Beatrice said, “just promise me you won’t let him get to you.” “I won’t,” Esmé swore. “It’s a good thing Jacques doesn’t really like Geraldine, or else he’d be crushed.” “Speaking of ill-fated romances, you might want to think about patching things up with Lemony.” “We have been awfully hard on him since his parents died.” Now it was Esmé’s turn to nod. “You more than me,” she said. “He’s your boyfriend, after all.” “He probably thinks I’ve broken up with him,” Beatrice replied dejectedly. “Then maybe you should set him straight.” Beatrice watched Esmé push the door forward and step out onto the grounds. She waved over her shoulder to her friend before letting go of the door and allowing it to shut behind her. *** It was a ten-minute walk to the coffee shop around the corner from Prufrock Prep. Esmé still didn’t feel completely at ease knowing that she would be spending the next hour or more in the presence of Ernest Denouement. On the way over, she had gone through a list of slanders he would point at her, along with her own list of defenses she could arm herself with. Geraldine may have been annoying, but at least she didn’t make fun of Esmé to her face like Ernest tended to do. Esmé pushed open the door and stepped inside the coffee shop. She stood still, taking a moment to scan the area for the first sign of either Geraldine or Ernest. Or perhaps both of them had already arrived. Esmé soon caught sight of the lanky triplet seated in a booth at the far end of the shop, and felt her heart sink. Geraldine didn’t appear to be anywhere in sight, and so Esmé sucked up her courage. Keeping in mind that she was doing this for Jerome and the others, she advanced over to the booth. Ernest looked up from where his face had been buried in a dish of ice cream. He grinned, and Esmé took notice of the obvious mockery in his smile. “How goes it, Eggs?” Ernest asked. “I must say, this is certainly the last place I ever expected to run into the likes of you.”“I’ve come to speak with Geraldine,” Esmé said. “She said she was meeting you here for coffee. Has she come by yet?” “She’s in the bathroom. Why don’t you have a seat and wait for her?” Against all of her better judgments, Esmé slid into the booth across from Ernest, setting her purse in her lap. “You might as well get a coffee or something,” he advised. “It’s pretty tacky to come into a place like this and not order anything.” “I don’t have any money,” Esmé replied. “I gave Geraldine my last twenty dollars. I’ll just have to wait until she gets back.” Ernest sighed, laying his long arm across the top of the booth. “I’ll give you twenty dollars to see you eat a piece of cheesecake and not go rushing into the bathroom afterwards. How’s that for a deal?” Esmé glared, boldly and defiantly. “Shut up.” “Hey”—Ernest tilted back his head and tapped lightly at his bottom lip —“I was just trying to be nice. There’s no reason to get all testy.”
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Post by melon head. on Dec 2, 2008 0:38:49 GMT -5
Kit wiped away the last of her tears and smiled up at Lemony.
"How's that?" Lemony asked, caressing Kit's cheek.
"Better," Kit mumbled.
Kit and Lemony had always had a very close, intimate relationship- definitely closer than Kit and Jacques, whose relationship was highly superficial. Whenever they dug deep or put emotion into the conversation, they would usually end up in a fight.
Lemony and Jacques's was hardly better. They had a boyish, brotherly bond, which meant most communication was strictly involving cars, sports and girls.
But Lemony and Kit worked well together. They trusted each other with secrets- Kit even managed to not tell Beatrice and Esme when she was trying really hard. Lemony kept Kit optimistic, and Kit kept Lemony focused. They were like the two pieces of the puzzle that are so obviously meant for each other that you can put them together straight away.
An odd gurgling noise surfaced from the door, and the siblings turned to see Beatrice, who has been subtly trying to clear her throat. Surprised, Beatrice asked if she could have a word with Lemony.
"I'll be right back," Lemony assured Kit, rushing out the door after Beatrice. Kit began to flick through a magazine.
"Kit Snicket?" a voice echoed. A round girl who reminded Kit of a plum emerged from the stairwell, red-faced and clutching her chest. "Are you Kit Snicket?" she asked breathlessly.
"Yes- are you alright?"
The girl nodded, gasping. "Phone- for -you-" she choked. Kit patted her uncertainly on the back and raced down the stairs to the telephone booth.
"Kit Snicket speaking," she greeted into the phone.
"Hey, Kit, it's Dewey."
"Hey honey! How've you been? I've missed you so much! Hey, you'll never believe what happened- Lemony actually came through for me. Turns out he is a half-decent guy after all! How are you?"
"Yeah, fine. Look, Kit, I need you to do my a huge favor."
Kit raised an eyebrow. "Sure. No problem."
"This is going to sound weird, but... could you please pick my cousin up from the police station?"
Kit gulped. "Okay then..."
She took note of Dewey's cousin's name and appearance. Short, curly-haired, blonde, pretty.
"I'm on my way."
Kit raced back upstairs to grab her coat. Lemony danced back into the room, beaming. "I am such a stud," he announced.
"Why?" Kit asked.
Lemony smiled smugly. "Beatrice took me back."
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Post by Emma “Emmz” Squalor on Dec 3, 2008 16:05:49 GMT -5
“There’s something I’d like to ask you,” Esmé said to Ernest. “And it’s very important that you give me an honest answer.”
“Well,” said the triplet, “it depends on what it is. And if I’m even in the mood to tell you.”
“Do you have any clue as to what Jerome Squalor and Bertrand Baudelaire are doing in Canada?”
“I was under the impression that they were competing with their debate team against one from another school.”
“But neither of them are members of any debate team.”
“Well”—Ernest leaned forward so that his and Esmé’s faces were just a few inches apart— “maybe they are and just didn’t feel like telling you.”
“Jerome tells me everything,” Esmé answered firmly.
“So you say,” Ernest replied. “But do you know that for a fact?”
Esmé was quite certain that she did, but before she could answer Ernest’s question, Geraldine appeared in front of the booth. “Hi, Ernie,” she said. Esmé had to stop herself at the last minute from rolling her eyes at the new nickname that Geraldine had given Ernest. “Sorry I took so long. I was putting on my makeup.”
“S’okay,” Ernest said, and scooted over so that Geraldine could sit beside him.
“So, what was happening while I was gone? Any interesting news I should know about? Any juicy gossip suitable for the school newspaper?”
Esmé caught Ernest smiling at her, but did nothing to return the gesture. She had come here for one reason, and wasn’t going to leave until she had gotten the information she had come to obtain.
“Esmé and I were just discussing something,” Ernest told Geraldine.
Her eyes widened with interest. “Oh?” she asked.
“Yeah.” Ernest turned back to Esmé. “I’ll tell you what you want to know, but first you have to do a little favor for me.”
Esmé raised a suspicious eyebrow. “What sort of favor?”
Ernest and Geraldine looked at each other, and Esmé took notice of the wicked smiles sprawling across each of their lips.
Returning his attention to Esmé once more, Ernest said, “Eat a piece of cheesecake.”
Esmé’s mouth dropped open and she turned, horrified, to Geraldine, as if Esmé believed that such an irritating and (evidently) cruel person would take her side. To her surprise, Geraldine replied, “And drink a root beer float.”
Esmé said nothing, and instead continued to look horrified.
“If you do,” Ernest continued, “and don’t run into the bathroom to throw it all up afterward, then I’ll tell you the truth about why your boyfriend and Bertrand Baudelaire are in Canada.”
Feeling that she had absolutely no choice in the matter, Esmé turned to Geraldine. “Geraldine, how much money do you have left from that twenty dollars I gave you?”
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Post by melon head. on Dec 4, 2008 4:41:39 GMT -5
"You did what?" Esme nodded sadly, biting her lip. Lemony, his arm wrapped around Beatrice, felt his jaw drop. "That's impressive," he said seriously. "I must admit- I'm quite proud." Esme opened her mouth to continue, when Kit burst through the doors of the common room. "Ladies and gentleman," she announced, recognizing Lemony as the only boy in the room, "meet Renata Denouement, AKA'd as R. She's Dewey's cousin, and her parents died in a fire a month ago, so be nice." Renata was very tall and pretty, with thin features- from her eyebrows down to her lips. She had an oval face and very long eyelashes. "Hi," she greeted half-heartedly, possibly bemused by Kit's upfront manner. Everyone said hello back, prompting Lemony to ask his sister, "Care to explain?" Kit sighed. "Okay," she began. "So Dewey called me and asked me if I could pick up his cousin from the police station..." *** Kit congratulated Lemony and Beatrice and scooted back down to the phone, which was occupied. She tapped her foot impatiently until the skinny kid with the unfortunate acne covering his chin hung up. She then dialed in the number for a taxi. "Yeah, I'll be out the front," she assured the crackling voice at the other end. Ten minutes later, a yellow cab pulled up outside the entrance to the school. Kit leapt inside it. "Adwin Dalmar," she told the driver, referring to the out-of-suburbs police station that Dewey had mentioned. It took forty minutes despite the rarity that was no traffic. Kit told the driver to leave the motor running and hopped out of the taxi, shielding her eyes from the sun. "Renata?" she called out. In front of her stood a gaggle of innocent-enough-looking citizens, waiting to be picked up. A girl fitting Dewey's description stepped forwards. "Kit Snicket?" the girl asked. She extended a hand. "Hi there. Dewey's told me so much about you. Please, call me R. Everybody does." "R it is," Kit said, smiling. "Okay, anything else?" R shook her head. "Let's go then." On the drive home, R explained what exactly she'd been doing at the police station. "A month ago my house burnt down. I was in the library, as per usual, when I smelt smoke. My father had sealed all the windows shut so I hid under our very appropriate fire-proof rug. "But while I was under there, the floor caved in and I fell through. I was unconscious for what I assume must have been at least a couple of hours, but when I looked up, the hole which I ha fallen through was blocked by a dozen burnt-out bookcases." Kit gaped. "Na ah," she murmured. "Yep. I had to eat soot from thirty-one days. Only then did the fire department have the common courtesy to move stuff and rescue me. They brought me here, I called Dewey and... you know the rest." "Far out," Kit sighed in wonder.
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Post by Emma “Emmz” Squalor on Dec 4, 2008 21:17:34 GMT -5
Esmé was anxious to tell her friends what had happened at the café, and she waited until the excitement surrounding R’s arrival had subsided before bringing up the topic. “I have some news, too,” Esmé said, and everyone turned to look at her. “But it can wait until later if—” “Are you kidding, Esmé?” Beatrice exclaimed. “If you found out anything about what the boys are doing in Canada, then you are required to give us every last detail!” Esmé nodded. “Right,” she replied, and sat down in a chair. Everyone— including R —crowded around her. Esmé then began her recollection of what had occurred at the small corner café just one hour ago… *** Geraldine opened up her wallet and removed two five-dollar bills, which she handed to Esmé. “That’s all that’s left,” explained Geraldine. “I used some of it to buy Ernest some ice cream.” Esmé didn’t bother pointing out that her parents weren’t made of money, and so she couldn’t afford to throw everything they sent her away on people she didn’t like. “I thought your family owns some big hotel somewhere,” Esmé said to Ernest. “Yeah,” he answered. “They do. So what?” “So shouldn’t you have money of your own?” “They cut off my allowance because of my suspension.” “Speaking of that,” Esmé said, “shouldn’t you have been gone by now?” “My father’s coming by Friday to pick me up,” Ernest told her. “Until then, I’ve been required to stay inside my dormitory.” “If that’s true, then what are you doing here?”“I decided to sneak out for a little fresh air.” Esmé glared at Ernest, but her expression softened when a waiter came by and asked if she would like to order anything. She hesitated for a moment, and then gave him her order. He nodded, then cleared away the empty dishes and disappeared. Ernest sneered, and folded his hands on the table. “This is going to be interesting,” he said. “Don’t you think so, Geraldine?” “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to it,” she replied, whipping her notebook and a pen out of her schoolbag. The waiter soon returned, balancing a plate of cheesecake in one hand and a root beer float in the other. Esmé felt her cheeks grow hot as the waiter set the items down in front of her. She waited until he had left and then reached for her fork. Ernest laughed at the way Esmé’s hand trembled as she scooped up a piece of cheesecake. “Look at her,” he exclaimed. “She’s actually scared!”Geraldine giggled, and scribbled something down into her notebook. “Must you take notes?” Esmé asked distastefully. “It is necessary,” Geraldine replied, “for a columnist to take thorough notes before she writes her story.” “Oh, please! It’s a school newspaper.” “Shut up and eat your cheesecake,” Ernest snapped, and Geraldine snickered. Esmé ignored them both, and slowly slid the fork into her mouth. She shut her eyes tightly, and chewed for one full minute before swallowing the bit of cheesecake. It tasted delicious, but that didn’t make it any easier for her to finish eating it. She could almost feel her waist and hips expanding, but then… Esmé thought of Jerome, and the sad look on his sweet face when he had discovered what she’d been doing every day after lunch. She thought of how happy he would be when he returned from Canada, and saw for the first time how much healthier she looked. She remembered that afternoon in the commons room, when she had shown him the picture of herself in the eighth grade. “I think you look beautiful.”Esmé smiled to herself, and then shoveled the last bit of cheesecake into her mouth. “What the hell are you smiling about, Eggs?” Ernest asked, annoyed. “In case you’ve forgotten, you aren’t out of the woods yet. You’ve still got a root beer float to finish.” Esmé’s grin broadened, and she pulled the mug containing the root beer float across the table towards her. “I know,” she said, and dipped her spoon into the mug. With her mind completely focused on Jerome at this point, Esmé ate all of the vanilla ice cream and then gulped down the root beer. Dabbing delicately at her mouth with a napkin, she looked Ernest straight in the eye and said, “Now tell me, Ernest Denouement: what are my boyfriend and the others doing in Canada?” “So, it’s come to that now, has it?” Ernest asked. “Well, seeing as you’ve been so cooperative, I guess I have no choice but to tell you the truth.” “Just get to the point.” Ernest smiled. “I switched Jerome’s and Bertrand’s names with two other students.” “Why did you do that?” “Esmé, have you ever heard of V.F.D.?” Ernest asked. “Yes. The Snickets are— were members. And Kit attends the official training school. But what does that have to do with—” “Do you know how Mr. and Mrs. Snicket died?” “Of course I do. They died in a fire.” “Very good,” Ernest said. “I always knew you had to be smarter than you look.” Esmé rolled her eyes. “It was all over the news and in the newspapers.” She wasn’t sure if that would help her, but she was desperate for Ernest to answer her question. “Well, they say that what happened to the Snickets was no accident.” Ernest lowered his voice. “They say revenge was involved.” “I fail to see where you’re going with this,” Esmé said. “With Jerome Squalor and Bertrand Baudelaire gone, that means you and your girlfriends will have less protection. Lemony Snicket is too distraught over his parents’ deaths to be of much assistance, and my idiotic brother is too much of a wimp to fight anyone.” Esmé’s eyes widened. “What are you going to do?” “Ah,” Ernest said, and gave another of his wicked grins. “You’ll just have to wait and see. You won’t know when. You won’t know how. And you won’t know where. But you can be sure to expect something to occur before this Friday.”
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Post by melon head. on Dec 5, 2008 20:38:09 GMT -5
Kit's jaw dropped. "Are you kidding?" she asked, horrified. Esme shook her head. "Your parents died in a fire too?" R asked, slapping Kit's shoulder and grinning. "No way!" "I know, how weird is that?" Kit exclaimed back, excited. Her expression snapped back into seriousness as she turned back to the group. "What the hell are they plotting?" Esme and Beatrice both shrugged, nervously glancing around as though Ernest might jump out from behind a pillar. "I might know," Lemony said. Everyone looked at him, surprised. "Yeah. It was a couple of days ago. I was being a sook and didn't think much of it at the time, but now it kind of makes sense." "What happened?" Kit asked. "I was in the common room, reading, when I heard a commotion coming from Ernest's dorm..." *** Lemony slammed down his book. "Shut up!" He yelled, his voice breaking. He felt the tears start up again, and groaned. Someone's muffled voice was yelling louder than ever. "Geraldine, this isn't the kind of thing that'll go unnoticed! We won't get away with this!" Lemony heaved himself up from the couch and meandered over to the dormitory that was emitting so much noise. Inside, a fight seemed to be taking place. He heard what sounded like glass breaking. "Excuse me," he called out, tapping on the closed door. "WHAT?" Was the angry reply, and Lemony suddenly recognized the voice as Ernest's. "Never mind," Lemony said coyly, and raced back to his position on the couch. "That sounded like Snicket," he heard Ernest grumble. He sat up, listening intently. "If Snicket's regained enough energy to walk on his two feet, then..." "Yeah, yeah," came the annoyingly chirpy voice of Geraldine. "Stop being such a baby, Ernie. Thursday night is Mr Kingston's retirement party so all the teachers will be out. Nobody will be on the look-out for you. Do whatever." "But..." "No buts. All in favour, say I." A few more voices entered the conversation, all murmuring "I". "Then it's settled. Now man up, Ernest Denouement!" Lemony grimaced, not at all interested in Geraldine and Ernest's plotting, and returned to his book.
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Post by Emma “Emmz” Squalor on Dec 6, 2008 16:07:28 GMT -5
“So, that’s all you heard?” Beatrice asked, and Lemony nodded.
“I don’t trust them,” Esmé said.
“Who are Geraldine and Ernest?” R asked.
“Ernest is the school bully,” Esmé told her. “Unfortunately, he also happens to be the brother of Kit’s boyfriend. And Geraldine is…” Esmé paused. Just what the hell was Geraldine’s role at Prufrock Prep? Surely it had to be something other than Wannabe Journalist. “A gossip. She’s always spreading lies about people and bothering us.”
“They both sound unpleasant,” replied R.
Esmé buried her face in her hands. “What are we going to do?” she groaned. “I wish Jerome was here! He probably wouldn’t know what to do, but at least we’d feel a bit more protected.”
Lemony asked what that made him.
Esmé chose to say nothing, and instead continued to hide her face in her hands. Lemony folded his arms, and sunk down onto the bottom bunk.
Kit rolled her eyes, and Beatrice went to sit with Lemony.
“We should tell someone,” Beatrice said, rubbing her boyfriend’s back comfortingly.
“Oh?” Esmé asked, exasperated. She lowered her hands away from her face and sat up straight in her chair. “And just who do you propose we tell, Beatrice? Even if the adults do believe us, it doesn’t mean they’ll be able to do anything! When they ask Ernest and Geraldine, they’ll just deny it all. And whoever else it was behind the door will do the same thing!”
“Perhaps,” R said softly, and everyone turned to look at her. “Perhaps we should all just stay in our dormitories come Thursday night.”
Esmé glanced over her shoulder at the windows. “You don’t think there’s a way anyone will be able to get in from outside,” she asked. “Do you?”
“Not when we’re on the third floor,” Beatrice said. “There’s nothing to hold onto out there but a brick wall.”
“And a windowsill. What if Ernest or Geraldine has a grappling hook? What then?”
Kit explained that the odds of either Ernest Denouement or Geraldine Julienne being in possession of a grappling hook were extremely slim. Beatrice nodded, while Esmé still looked worried. Lemony stared down at the floor, and R gave everyone an optimistic smile.
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Post by melon head. on Dec 8, 2008 23:52:48 GMT -5
Kit smiled back, but was disconcerted to notice an odd look in R's eyes. "What is it?" she murmured, leaning into her new friend so that no one else in the dorm could hear their discussion. "I'm just... confused. Why don't I know Ernest if I'm so close with Dewey? He's my cousin and yet I can't picture him." "I'll give you a hint," said Lemony loudly. "He looks like Dewey." R giggled. Kit rolled her eyes. "I should call Dewey," she said. "Let him know that you're okay, R. And tell him about Thursday." R snorted. "And let him anxiously sit in fetal position the whole night, waiting for the phone to ring? Trust me, it's better that he doesn't know." Beatrice pointed out that R had a point. Dewey was known to sometimes be overly anxious. Kit nodded, sighing wistfully at the thought of Dewey's voice. *** Somehow, the days had quickened and Thursday had come around very fast. Kit was shocked to realize that there were only three weeks left of the school year- when there are no holidays aside from the yearly Summer Vacations, you really lose track of time. The classes sped by- both Beatrice and Kit were too nervous about the forthcoming night to even pretend to care about Earth Science. In drama, Esme and Beatrice could barely recite their monologues, expecting Ernest to jump out from behind the curtains. And in Journalism, Kit and Esme could hardly breathe, feeling Geraldine's eyes against the back of their necks. "Sounds like you three had a rough day," R said. "Tell them what you did, Lemony." Lemony grinned. "Wagged every class and set up a basic hearing aid against the disaster twin's room." He indicated towards Geraldine's door, which was bare. Esme stated the obvious. "I know there's nothing there! But look what I have here!" He stuck is hand down the side of the bed and withdrew a large, glistening stethoscope. "Courtesy of Uncle Simon's medical buddy." "Your dad's Simon!" Kt exclaimed to R. "Of course! He's amazing." "Tell me about it," R said. Beatrice cleared her throat, wondering out loud if maybe they should do something. R, Esme and Kit all nodded. "Before we do anything," Lemony said earnestly, "I suggest we put Kit in veto." "All in favor of Kit in charge," R said, "say 'I'". Esme, Lemony, Beatrice and R all said very loud I's. Kit beamed, and jumped up. "Okay, gang. Let's get to work!"
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Post by Deleted on Dec 9, 2008 17:04:22 GMT -5
This is really good! I want more!!!
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Post by Emma “Emmz” Squalor on Dec 10, 2008 13:00:30 GMT -5
[Thanks, Col. 'O Neil/Superblindguy. ] The plan was simply this: everyone would wait until Ernest and Geraldine were alone together in her dorm. Then Beatrice, Esmé, and Lemony would crouch outside the room with the stethoscope. Meanwhile, Kit and R would stand together at the end of the hallway to keep a look-out for anyone approaching. The time for the five friends to put their plan into action soon came, and everyone took their places. Geraldine hadn’t yet arrived, but Kit said that she’d seen three boys (including Ernest) gather inside Geraldine’s dorm. There was a brief argument between Lemony and Esmé over who would be in charge of the stethoscope. Thankfully, it was an argument that Beatrice managed to break up relatively quickly. She gently reminded Esmé that since Lemony had gone to all the trouble of getting the stethoscope, then it was only fair that he be the one to hold it. Beatrice then explained that this was not in any way a knock at Esmé’s inability to pay attention to detail, which was what she had accused Lemony of. Esmé folded her arms over her chest and pouted while Lemony inserted the earpieces of the stethoscope into his ears. He then pressed the chestpiece against the wall, and listened. “Do you hear anything yet?” Esmé asked immediately. Lemony shushed her, and she pouted further. Beatrice smiled. “We need to be patient,” she told her friend. “Don’t worry, Esmé. Lemony will tell us once he hears something.” “I still think I could have done just as good of a job,” Esmé pouted. Lemony rolled his eyes and told her to be quiet. Esmé stuck her tongue out at him. After that, everyone waited. Eventually, Lemony’s ears pricked up to the sound of shuffling coming from inside the room. He pressed the chestpiece a little more firmly against the wall until he heard voice. “Do you hear something?” Beatrice asked, and Lemony nodded. “What?” Esmé asked. “What are they saying?” Lemony shushed her again. “Fine, Citrus. Be that way.” Lemony ignored her, and instead concentrated on the conversation happening on the other side of the wall. “The abandoned tool shed?” came a male voice that Lemony didn’t recognize. “Yeah,” returned a second male voice. Lemony recognized it at once as Ernest Denouement’s. “At first I figured that the Orphan’s Shack would be the perfect place, but my cousin or whoever’s staying there.”
“You have a cousin?” inquired a third voice that Lemony had never heard before. “I didn’t know that.”“Who the hell cares if I have a cousin or not? I didn’t ask you two morons to meet me here so we could discuss my family members.”
“Well, if we’re morons—”
“—then maybe you should get someone else to help you.”There was silence, and then a half-hearted apology from Ernest. Lemony gritted his teeth. This was going nowhere.
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Post by melon head. on Dec 14, 2008 6:31:41 GMT -5
Ernest huffed and stalked out of Geraldine's room. The two boys, Matt and Steve, followed him obediently. Geraldine was waiting impatiently in the tool shed, he imagined. Waiting for those stupid girls to shuffle on in. But at the rate they were going, Kit, Beatrice and Esme would never leave their dorm.
Ernest groaned loudly. "Could we please skip the idiocy?" he asked his annoyingly naive chums. He thumped his fist against the door beside him in anguish.
"Holy cow!" Lemony shrieked from behind the door, jumping so high that the stethoscope fell from his ears. Esme quickly snatched them from the floor and applied them to herself, saying that the natural order was now restored. She pressed her head against the door, listening.
Out in the hallway, Ernest's eyes lit up. Lemony was clearly eavesdropping, which was almost a certainty that the girls would be in there with him. He raced to the other end of the hall, where he'd be well out of anyone's earshot. Matt and Steve raced after him.
"Here's what we do," he said. He explained to them his brilliant plan. Steve nodded excitedly, but Matt said coyly, "Hate to burst your bubble there, Ernest, but look up there."
Ernest extended his neck and averted his eyes away from his croons and down to the opposing end of the hall. There, with their backs facing away from Ernest, stood Kit and R.
"No problem," Ernest muttered, grinning. He nodded to the boys and walked confidently back up to Esme's dorm. He then cleared his throat loudly.
"I hear something!" Lemony whispered. He and Esme were now sharing the stethoscope, their cheeks pressed together.
"Did he scream at all?" Ernest laughed loudly. He leaned back against Geraldine's door smugly. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Kit and R hiding behind a pillar, watching him.
"Like a coyote," Matt laughed. "For someone so gosh darn manly, Bertrand proved to be quite a girl."
Beatrice gasped.
Ernest laughed harder still and lit a cigarette. "And what about my no-nothing brother?"
Both Kit and R pressed themselves harder against the pillar, willing their ears to pick up as much of Ernest's gang's talk as possible.
"According to Toby," Steve bellowed, "he passed out before the lamp had even touched his head!"
"Toby's in on this too," Kit whispered, her stomach churning at the thought of an unconscious Dewey.
"Sicko," Lemony hissed. Esme slapped him.
"And of course, stupid, sissy little Squalor," Dewey said, puffing out a wisp of smoke.
"Yep," Matt laughed. "Couldn't stand all the fighting going on between our boys and his, so he hid in the bathroom."
Steve chuckled, out of puff from the extraordinary amount of fake laughter. "Poor thing. I almost felt sorry for him when I heard the roof cave in."
Kit sighed in relief. "Why are you sighing in relief?" R wailed quietly. "Sounds like your friend Jerome could be dead!"
Kit shook her head. "No, he's bluffing. The whole thing's a load of crap."
Esme, however, seemed to think otherwise, by tearing the stethoscope out of her ears and announcing she was going out to save Jerome.
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Post by Emma “Emmz” Squalor on Dec 15, 2008 15:00:05 GMT -5
“What?!” Beatrice exclaimed in shock, and then threw her hands over her mouth. “Esmé, are you out of your mind?” she whispered. “You don’t even know where the boys are, let alone what’s happened to them.”
Lemony said it sounded like a fire.
“Which is just another reason why we should all be doubting Ernest’s sincerity,” Beatrice emphasized. “You know he’s already heard about the Snicket fire, and the one that killed R’s parents.”
“But what if it isn’t just that?” Esmé asked, her bottom lip trembling. “What if the fire that killed R’s parents was more than a coincidence?”
“Esmé, the boys are all the way in Canada. The Snicket fire and the Denouement fire both took place around here. So, if you think about it, the whole idea is pretty far-fetched.”
“But Jerome could be in some hospital someplace dying, while I’m stuck here, doing nothing. I—” Esmé made a small noise, and then swiped at her eyes. When she turned back to Beatrice and Lemony, they saw that tears were running down Esmé’s cheeks. “I’ve got to find out where he is!”
Before either Beatrice or Lemony could stop her, Esmé rushed out the door.
She only got as far as the entranceway before she was caught by Matt and Steve. Matt slammed the door behind them, and together each of them took Esmé by one arm. She was just getting up the courage to ask them about Jerome, Dewey, and Bertrand when Ernest Denouement stepped out from behind a nearby wall.
“It’s nice to see you, Eggs,” Ernest said. “What’s new?”
Meanwhile, Kit and R watched from behind the pillar as the events unfolded before their very eyes.
“Ernest has Esmé,” R whispered. “What are we going to do?”
Kit shushed her, explaining that it was unlikely that Ernest was going to do anything to hurt Esmé.
“What about the two others with him?”
Again, Kit advised R that the best thing to do was to wait and see what happened.
“You know damn well what’s new,” Esmé said. “I heard you and your two goons—” Here, Matt and Steve laughed “—talking. I demand you tell me what’s happened to Jerome Squalor, Bertrand Baudelaire, and Dewey Denouement.”
“It’s a tragedy, really,” Ernest replied, his voice thick with false misery. “They were getting ready to head to the airport, when some deranged psychopath broke into their room at the hotel. The authorities seem to suspect it was a member from the opposing debate team, which lost. He knocked them all out with blunt objects and then set the place on fire. It’s sure to make the national news.”
Esmé failed to see how anyone could be that passionate about debating, and this belief was exactly what inspired her following response: “I don’t believe you!”
“That’s your denial talking.”
Esmé stuck out her foot in the attempt to kick Ernest, but he darted away before she could touch him. “You’re getting slow, Eggs,” he said. “And I think I know why.” He peered closer to her face. “Have you gained a little weight since you ate that cheesecake?”
“Shut up!”
Ernest’s response to this was to merely throw back his head, and cackle wickedly. That was the last straw for Esmé, who in her moment of rage managed to tear herself from the grips of Matt and Steve. She lunged at Ernest, who was both taller and stronger than herself. He shoved her off him easily, watching in satisfaction as she stumbled back against the door.
R looked up at Kit. “What do you say we take that as our cue and get out there?” R asked, and Kit nodded.
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