Chapter Ten
After lunch, all the workers gathered in the auditorium at the administrative building, for the Union reunion. The Baudelaires sit in one of the many chairs in the room, looking at the stage, that had purple velvet curtains. The auditorium also served as Cindry’s theater, and many props could be seen. Props, a word here meaning ‘cenographic objects used in plays’ ; a prop sword, a treasure chest filled with fake gold coins and jewelry, a large wig worthy of Marie Antoinnette, and a fish bowl with the writing ‘Thanks for all the fish’ engraved in the glass. There also stood a platform where Laverne spoke to the workers with the help of a microphone. Ten minutes into the session the Baudelaires concluded that Laverne was not doing a very good job at containing the angry workers, in fact, she was doing the exact opposite. Looking at the angry mass of people, Violet, Klaus and Sunny’s minds went to the Village of Fowl Devotees, Heimlich Hospital and Caligari Carnival, where they had more experience with angry crowds than they would have apreciated. Laverne was masterfully increasing their anger, and Ferdinand, Victoria, Sir, Charles and even Cindry all seemed tense and scared.
‘It doesn’t look like we will be able to talk with Ferdinand, Klaus!’ said Violet, worried. The crowd was growing in anger by the minute, and no one did nothing to contain them. Clearly they were frustrated at their employers long before the Baudelaires came to the factory.
‘Please, gentlemen, let’s negotiate!’ said Ferdinand.
‘There also ladies here, not just gentlemen, Ferdinand’ Victoria added.
‘Please, Vicky, this is not the time to be bickering abour nonsense!’ he frustratingly told his sister.
‘Nonsense? And I told you to not call me Vicky in public, Ferdinand.’
‘I thought you liked that nickname, aunt Victoria. Doesn’t my dad call you that way all the time?’ – Cindry asked.
‘Shut it, Cindry, you shouldn’t even be here!’ Ferdinand told her.
‘I beg your pardon, uncle! This is my theater!’
‘This is not a theater, it is an auditorium!’ – Ferdinand argued.
‘It is a theater!’
‘It is an auditorium!’
‘
Theater!’
‘
Auditorium!’
‘
Theater!’
‘
Auditorium!’
‘
Shut it, you two dolts!’ Victoria shouted. ‘I’ve had enough of your bickering!’
‘See what I mean, fellow workers?’ Laverne spoke on the microphone, her voice sounding from the intercom speakers. ‘This factory is comanded by a family of bickering idiots!’
‘
Laverne!’- Victoria did not apreciate being called an idiot, specially by a woman.
‘I don’t approve the business change or the association with the former Lucky Smells Lumbermill owner and his partner!’ said a worker, whom Violet noticed was the short woman she had met in the factory building.
‘Who cares about what you do or do not approve?’ said Sir. He was almost invisible with his purple suit agains the purple curtains.
‘You are supposed to work, not bicker! You should be thanking me that most of you found jobs here at FFF, because if it weren’t for Ferdinand most of you would be unemployed!’ Sir shouted, and the smoke involving his head suddenly seemed turbulent.
‘It turns out this place is not much better than Lucky Smells!’ screamed another worker, whom the Baudelaires could not see. – ‘Sure, we get paid with money instead of coupons, and sure, we do get to have actual meals for lunch instead of bubblegum!But the plates!The
plates!’
‘
Trash is dirty, and dirty plates are dirty, so they are trash too!’ Cindry shouted, suddenly, and everyone silenced and looked at her. She appeared outraged to have her beliefs contradicted. Her devotion to that idea was so fervent that the Baudelaires suddenly realized why most of the workers were becoming almost too angry. Cindry made everyone bring their own plates and throw them out when once used, and this took a generous toll on the workers’ paychecks. The workers might have their complaints about Ferdinand and Victoria, but it was Cindry’s presence that the Baudelaires noticed that the workers could not stand. Other than her obsession she was an adorable, albeit eccentric girl and the Baudelaires quite liked her, Klaus more than his sisters, and they did not apreciate to know that Cindry was unintentionally causing such ruckus at the factory.
‘I am
tired of throwing plates out! It’s a senseless waste! It would be a lot less trouble to wash the dishes and be done with it than to buy plate after plate!’ – shouted another worker.
‘Stay quiet, Cindry!
You are the one who is responsible for all this!’ – Ferdinand reprehended her, and this time he was really angry at his niece.
‘
Me? I haven’t done anything!’
‘Yes you have! Cindry, we are sending you to the City first thing tomorrow!’ – Victoria said. ‘We are tired of your obsession with throwing out the dishes, and we are going to send your father an angry telegram telling him not to send you here for your school breaks anymore!’
‘
Aunt Victoria!’ – Cindry suddenly teared up and started to cry and sob.
‘Look how they treat their niece! The girl is probably crazy, but she does not deserve that treatment! – shouted another worker. – ‘You are not her parents, Fullfilments!’
‘But we are responsible for her, we promised her father…’ Ferdinand started to talk, but Laverne interrupted him.
‘Moving on! I think we all agree that injustice has been the latest trend here at this factory, eh?’, Laverne started to walk in circles on the stage, looking scathingly at the Fullfilments, Sir, and Charles.
‘I think we should have a vote, to decide who should be the new boss of the factory!’ Laverne suggested. At this suggestion, the Fullfilments were shocked, Cindry stopped crying and even Sir and Charles flinched.
‘I vote for Laverne!At least she has some sense!’
‘So do I!’
‘Laverne!’
‘Yeah!’
Laverne gave a macabre cackle, and the Baudelaires realized this had been her plan all along.
‘But the factory is Ferdinand’s! You can’t take over just like that!’ – Charles shouted.
‘And Victoria’s.’ – Added Victoria, who was starting to cry herself.
‘And Victoria’s.’ – Charles repeated.
‘Oh, I can’t, can I?’ – Laverne responded sarcastically, and with another cackle, she said, ‘Watch me! Workers, who do you choose to answer to as your boss and owner of Funeral Factory Fullfilment Limited?’
‘We choose you, Laverne!’ – a worker shouted.
‘You are sensible!’
‘You are smart!’
‘You are a genius!’
‘You are stylish!’
‘You are incredible!’
‘You are great!’
‘You are terrific!’
‘You are my mother!’
‘
Moving on!’ – Laverne seemed almost irritated as if all that flattery from dirty factory workers did nothing to increase her self-esteem.
‘If I gave you an order, would you fullfill it, fellow workers?’
‘Yes!’ – a choir of voices was heard.
‘My first order as Director, President, Empress and Queen of FFF is that the former owners are confined in the tightest space available! Who has a suggestion?’
‘We could use the old coffin deposit!’
‘
Excellent.’ – said Laverne, and she cackled evilly again.
‘Foreman Ferguson, please tie up their hands and take them to the deposit and lock it with this.’ – And she reached to a bag that was under the platform she was standing on, and took out something that the Baudelaires instantly recognized.
‘
That’s a Vernacular Fastening Device!’ – Violet screamed in shock.
And it indeed was. The device Laverne had in her hands was the same that they once had to decypher in order to enter the V.F.D. H.Q. in the Mortmain Mountains, and that Sunny later used to lock the laundry room in the basement of Hotel Denouement.
‘You are a clever girl, Violet Baudelaire.’ – Laverne said. ‘The Fullfilments will be locked safely in the deposit until I decide what to do with them. Cindry, however, will stay with me.’
Cindry stopped crying and looked at Laverne almost as if she did not believe what she had heard.
‘What?
Why? I don’t want to be with you, Laverne! You just stole my uncle’s factory!’- Cindry shouted.
‘And aunt’s.’ – Victoria added, and everyone gave her a frustrated look that made her seem almost as if she had shrunk in size. Victoria was compelled to affirmate her ownership over the factory at all times, almost as if that made her more importan than she really was. It was a trait that frustrated me deeply in one afternoon I spent with the three Fullfilment siblings, long ago, before I had to part with them.
‘Cindry, you have much potential. I see a young
Laverne in you. If you tag along with me, I will see to it that you never have to use the same dish twice, ever, in your life.’ – Laverne surely understood Cindry’s logic, and to the Baudelaires’ horror, Cindry eyes suddenly went from teary to shiny in an instant.
‘
Really?’ – she asked, and Ferdinand and Victoria were mortified. Charles covered his mouth with his hand, and Sir stood still, smoking on his cigar.
‘Yes.’ – Laverne answered. She had won. Cindry got up and walked to her side.
‘No, not
again!’ – Klaus said. He climbed on top of the stage and grabbed Cindry’s arm.
‘Cindry, you can’t possibly tag along with that woman! I won’t allow that!’
‘K-Klaus!’- Cindry stuttered.
‘Cindry, it took me a long time to get over someone who did the same thing you are doing now, and I won’t have it happen again!’- Klaus pulled Cindry and moved in front of her, shielding her almost as if Laverne had a dangerous weapon in her hands, targeting the girl.
‘But Klaus, I’d really like to have all the dishes in the world…’
‘You will have to find another way to get them. Tagging along with that…that woman is out of question. I just won’t let you! – Klaus look decided.
‘Very well, then. If you don’t want to come with me by choice, I guess a change of plans is called for.’ Laverne added. She handed the vernacular fastening device to Ferguson, and he walked the Fullfilments out of the room. The two look devastated. They did not expect that Cindry would actually consider going with Laverne.
‘And what about those two?’ – asked a woman, her finger pointed in Sir and Charles’ direction.
‘Oh, they can stay, if they decide to work for me.’
‘I’ll work with you.’ – Sir said.
‘I
won’t work with you!’ – Charles said.
Sir and Charles spoke at the same time. A heavy silence took over the room.
‘Well, I guess you two have no choice to break up now.’ – said Laverne, finishing her line with another evil cackle.
‘S-Sir, we can’t possibly work with that woman! She’s a total villain, head to toe!’ – Charles argumented, but Sir raised his finger.
‘No, Charles. I don’t think so. I think Laverne is more competent than the other two.’
‘
S-Sir!’ – Charles was shocked.
‘If you choose not to work with us, Charles, then I’m afraid we’ll have to part ways.’
Laverne grinned, evilly. She was very satisfied, the Baudelaires could tell. She had broken up Cindry from her aunt and uncle, the workers from their bosses, and now was bent on breaking Sir and Charles up, and apparently she was succeeding. Charles suddenly started to tear up and he spoke.
‘Sir, I care too much about you to stay here and watch you work with villains, instead of against them. I thought I could change you, but apparently, I failed. I won’t stay here for this. I won’t!’ – Charles then burst into tears and stormed out of the room under ‘boos’ from the mass of workers.
‘So much for a partner…’ – Said Sir.
‘
Enough!’ – Violet’s voice sounded. The Baudelaires were too shocked at the current turn of events, but Violet had had enough.
‘I knew you were up to something the moment I saw you, Laverne! I just was not sure, but now I am, you are a villain!’
Laverne merely cackled, again, her body bending backwards as she was laughing so hard.
‘Judging a book by it’s cover much,
dear Violet?’ – she asked, sarcastically, walking in Violet’s direction with her hands on her waist. The tone in her voice offered no other possible explanation. Violet was anything, but dear to the evil read-headed woman in front of her.
‘I trusted that you
bookworm Baudelaires knew better than to do that. I just noticed that the workers were unsatisfied with their bosses, and they wanted me to lead them. I am not a villain.’
‘Tomorrow a
new order will begin here at this factory. You can either obbey it, or face the consequences.’
Laverne looked so menacing even the workers looked as if they were scared.
‘This meeting is adjourned. You can return to your rooms, and the workers to the dorms. Early start tomorrow, for all, at the sound of the siren. Daybreak.
No.
Exceptions. Understood?’
Everyone nodded affirmatively with their heads. Laverne exited the auditorium, and her cackle was heard when she left.
‘We have to do something, Klaus, Sunny, Beatrice.’ Violet said.
‘Something tells me our period here at FFF is almost over,’ Klaus said, with a worried look on his face. He was too worried to notice Cindry resting her head on his back, her hands shaking on his shoulders.
‘I guess we now know who the letter was talking about.’ Sunny said.
‘
Bingo.’ Said the little Beatrice, and the the older Baudelaires couldn’t agree more with their little sister.