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Post by counto on Aug 21, 2020 23:37:09 GMT -5
(At the City hospital):
Old Doctor: "Mr Poe, I'm afraid I've got some bad news."
Poe: (cough, cough) What is it doctor?"
Old Doctor: "You have bronchitis."
Poe: (cough) "What?! How could that be possible?"
(Flashback):
Young Doctor: (smoking) "Congratulations Mr and Mrs Poe, it's a boy!"
Parents hold baby (Mr Poe) as they all smoke, baby starts coughs.
(Flashback Ends):
Old Doctor: "We may never know."
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Post by Optimism is my Phil-osophy on Aug 22, 2020 21:21:13 GMT -5
Very cool! Do not smoke around young children! (In fact, the best advice is "Do not smoke").
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Post by R. on Aug 23, 2020 13:24:51 GMT -5
I came up with this weird one while listening to the lion king soundtrack. The Baudelaires are with Kit Snicket outside the Hotel Denouement and Kit mentions Beatrice.
Violet: you knew my mother? Kit: no, I know your mother. Kit leads Violet to the pond and tells her to look in the water, just like in the Lion King. You know how the rest goes. Beatrice (as a ghost in the sky): Violet. Whatever you do, don’t let the corruption of this world get to you. You must carry on no matter what hardships come your way, and fight for all that is good and noble. Say you’ll volunteer. Violet (amazed): yes! Beatrice: *fades away as mysteriously as she arrived*
Like I said, that was weird and kind of bad, but I posted it anyway because why not.
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Post by counto on Aug 28, 2020 23:14:31 GMT -5
(At Littlest Elf Land):
Olaf, Esme and Carmelita are taking a "family" vacation.
Carmelita (Screaming): "I WANNA GO ON THAT RIDE OVER THERE, NOT THAT ONE! NO ALL OF THEM!"
Olaf (Annoyed): "Why did I agree to do this again?"
Esme: "Because darling, Littlest Elf Land is so IN right now."
(A man dressed in a Littlest Elf costume pops up behind them, scaring the daylights out of the two)
Mascot (Pretend Voice): "Hi there folks! I'm the Littlest Elf! Welcome to Littlest Elf Land! Where all your dreams come true!"
Olaf: "All your dreams?"
Mascot (Still Using Pretend Voice): "You betcha!"
Olaf (Deadpan): "So if my dream was to burn down this entire cesspool of an amusement park with everyone else inside of it, would that come true?"
Mascot (Real Voice): ...ah... (Notices Carmelita). "Hey little girl! What's your name?" (Pretend Voice).
(Carmelita stares at him for a second before kicking him in the shin. Mascot collapses on the ground in pain).
Olaf (to Carmelita): "Good girl."
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Post by counto on Aug 30, 2020 4:38:02 GMT -5
(Past):
Teacher: "Miss Anwhistle, I'm sorry to say that you've failed grammar class."
Young Josephine: "Pff, Grammar. Like I'll ever need that in life."
(Present):
Josephine: "Grammar is MY life!"
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Post by R. on Aug 31, 2020 9:46:39 GMT -5
Lemony: I was the one who started the Baudelaire's house on fire. I actually think he did start the fire
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Post by Optimism is my Phil-osophy on Aug 31, 2020 10:04:04 GMT -5
Lemony: I was the one who started the Baudelaire's house on fire. I actually think he did start the firePlease explain to us better why you think about it in Sardonic Series.
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Post by counto on Sept 3, 2020 2:35:29 GMT -5
Sir: Charles.
Charles: Yes sir?
Sir: There's something I want to ask you. (Gets down on one knee, reaches into his pocket) Charles...
Charles (close to tears): Yes sir?
Sir: Will you...
Charles (Overjoyed): YES! YES!
Sir (pulls out a rag and shoe polish): Great, I need you to have my shoes shinned up a bit.
Charles (Speechless)
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Post by Dante on Sept 5, 2020 3:52:50 GMT -5
I've finally taken the liberty of doing what I should have done years ago, and combined all of the various "rejected lines" threads into a single one in FFiction.
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Post by Seymour Glass on Apr 20, 2021 18:49:10 GMT -5
*Justice Strauss is dining with her friends*
Justice Strauss: *Starts singing "Day O"*
*Everybody at the table starts dancing and singing along*
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Post by Seymour Glass on May 12, 2021 23:45:29 GMT -5
Esme: I need to go home and get my hat. Olaf: Forget your ickleing hat! Are you kidding me? Just bringing me down with a trip to Rockaway because you gotta get your hat? Esme: I need it. I gotta have it. It's my lucky hat. I never fly without it. Olaf: Esme, do you understand what we're involved in here? Esme: I don't care. I need my hat. I won't fly without it.
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Post by Michelle Denouement on Jun 15, 2021 10:06:51 GMT -5
Violet: Quigley and I moved to Santa Barbara last year. Our jobs became remote, so we decided to move. We lived in Fremont and commuted to Cupertino, an hour round trip, which got draining. Santa Barbara is gorgeous, and close-ish to LA, so I can fly back to San Francisco to visit family.
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Post by Seymour Glass on Aug 19, 2021 15:21:11 GMT -5
Nero's secretary: *about Klaus* Oh, he's very popular, Vice Principal Nero. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, magikarps, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, dickheads - they all adore him. They think he's a righteous dude.
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Post by twigz on Aug 19, 2021 19:13:45 GMT -5
Nero's secretary: *about Klaus* Oh, he's very popular, Vice Principal Nero. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, magikarps, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, dickheads - they all adore him. They think he's a righteous dude. you forgot the goths x
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Post by HAL 10,000 on Oct 17, 2021 19:12:24 GMT -5
Olaf:Olaf is not going to play with Esme anymore.This playdate is over! Esme:Wait, where are you going? Olaf:Alaska! Esme:It's faster if you drive! Olaf:Aughghgh! *Storms off*
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