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Post by violet on Mar 9, 2008 20:45:16 GMT -5
Violet: *standing over Kit in labor* I can help you. I helped make a delivery two or three times Klaus: This isn't a dog! this is a real human thing!! Violet: It's called a baby and I helped deliver those too. You got that from Avatar, right?When Katara helped the traveler on the way to Basingse (sp?) Lemony Snicket:Violet Baudelaire, the eldest, was the world's finest 14 year old sock-knitter. Klaus Baudelaire, the middle child and the only boy, wore peace-symbol eyeglasses, which gave him the impression that he was groovy.He was groovy. Sunny Baudelaire, the youngest, liked to google things.She had four good internet browsers.Since she was an infant, she had a vocabulary difficult to understand, and only her siblings understood her.For instance, today she was shrieking "Muck! which probally meant,"look at the mysterious banana peel on in the fog!"
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Post by Jacques Snicket on Mar 12, 2008 19:53:53 GMT -5
Lemony: For there was a time when Count Olaf and the Baudelaire parents would spend their time drinking tea and thinking up a new coded message as a sort of joke.
Klaus: Let's just not be noble anymore. It's tiring, and it's so in to be evil!
Esmé: I knew you would see my side of things.
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Post by thedoctororwell on Apr 23, 2008 16:31:12 GMT -5
This has probably already been used... But, nevermind.
[Alternative end to "The End"] Beatrice Jr : (sleeps in Klaus' arms) Klaus : So, let's try to see the bright side of circumstances. At least now we're all unbothered and alone on this island. Violet : Thank God. Ishmael was a such a bore... Sunny : Plothole ! ("Wait, I have a bad feeling about something...") Klaus : I know what you mean ! Vi, we're on an uncharted unknown desert island in the middle of nowhere, right ? Violet : Why yes. Klaus : And nobody seems to know where the hell we are and we'll have to survive by ourselves, which will not be too much of a challenge as we'll beneficiate of the previous castaways' experience, since the island seems to unexplicably attract dozens of shipwrecks ? Violet : Right. Klaus : And we're going to spend much time in a secret hidden compartment full of sophisticated, suspicious and informative objects ? Violet : Absolutely not, and pigs fly, you know. Seriously, what's your point ? Klaus : Well, it makes me think of the rest of this enormous island, the part Ishamel forbid everyone to explore. Sunny : Blairwitch ! ("And we have a bad feeling about all this...") [Crazy random asian tied in ropes runs from the bushes, followed by more people] Asian : OTHERS ! OMG, OTHERS ! Others ! Redneck : John ! Someone's been in the hatch ! They ate all the spices and touched the periscope ! John : It's them ! Butchering time ! Woman 1 : (atrocious french accent) OMG ! They have a cake. Doctor : A baby. Woman 1 : Right, they have a baby, sorry ! Two for the price of one ! This time I will get Alex back for sure ! Wahaha ! Woman 2 : Sawyer ! She stealed Aaron from me ! Again ! Klaus : A veeeeeeeery very bad feeling. Snicket : And THAT's why I stopped my report on the Baudelaires' fate at Book the Thirth, children ! Wait, what is this annoying humming sound around me ? Redneck : OMG ! He's having a flashback ! John : Sorry, we'll have to murder you before you add even more plotholes and loose ends to the plot. Redneck : Too late ! [Screnn shows Lemony lamenting as he is trapped in a broken water closet cabinet] Woman 2 : Oh, great, and now comes the writer's-block-induced boring flashback syndrom ! Doctor : Oh, what you say seems so NEW to ME... John : OMG ! Look at the size and sharpness of this baby's teeth ! Woman 1 : She can't be human ! Doctor : She's the true form of the back-smoke monster ! Sunny (rips off mask) : That's right, fools ! [Everybody scream and run away, chased by Sunny, on the "Bennie Hill Show" theme music]
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Post by beatrice8 on Apr 23, 2008 20:27:32 GMT -5
Olaf: *preppy voice* hi everybody hey it's a beutiful daaaaay wanna play tea party? HEY LOOK A BIRDIE. Violet: I WANT BIRDIE. Lemony Snicket: Olaf kills everyone the end.
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bethany
Bewildered Beginner
Posts: 3
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Post by bethany on Apr 25, 2008 21:24:24 GMT -5
The Baudelaires arrive at VFD headquarters. Count Olaf is pacing back and forth in front of the building in protest, carrying a large sign with a picture of Sunny Baudelaire, which said very clearly in bold black letters: No babies like murdering
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Post by F*** THE DAILY MAIL on May 8, 2008 6:02:42 GMT -5
The Baudelaires arrive at VFD headquarters. Count Olaf is pacing back and forth in front of the building in protest, carrying a large sign with a picture of Sunny Baudelaire, which said very clearly in bold black letters: No babies like murderingPretty good one. ------ Klaus: Do we have to go into that library, Violet? *** Quigley (on Mt. Fraught with Violet, leaning in to kiss her) Violet (slaps him): Olaf would've been better!
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Post by Elle on May 29, 2008 18:27:17 GMT -5
Kit: Isn't this just such a loverly day, children? Stuck out here on an uncharted island in the middle of the ocean... it's simply delightful. However, it is not quite as delightful as knowing that my entire family is burning in hell.... sigh, I love my life
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Post by F*** THE DAILY MAIL on May 30, 2008 17:53:32 GMT -5
Kit: Isn't this just such a loverly day, children? Stuck out here on an uncharted island in the middle of the ocean... it's simply delightful. However, it is not quite as delightful as knowing that my entire family is burning in hell.... sigh, I love my life XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD ♦ Olaf: *crys* It's alright, children. I will always be here for you. ♦ Kit: No, you're not going into that hotel alone. Olaf will give up the sugar bowl, J.S. will shout his identity soon, and Frank and Ernest are completely different. Soon, we'll all be even more fantastic.
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Post by Jacques Snicket on Jun 8, 2008 10:53:20 GMT -5
Count Olaf: All we are saying, is give peace a chance!
Baudelaires: *Burn whole city down and brag about it.*
Lemony: *Beats up every person who has ever wronged him* I am Lemony!! Hear me roar!!
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Post by Sailor Bellairs on Jun 19, 2008 11:02:08 GMT -5
Olaf: Ewwo! Alcohol makes me gag! ------------------------- Lemony: Dear Reader, In this book there will be no tricks, no red herrings, no hidden messages or clues. I'm just going to explain everything very simply...
Reason for Editing: Funsies
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Post by disguised1 on Jun 20, 2008 13:45:01 GMT -5
(I can't remember which character it was, who said it, but;) "Are these those three orphans you were telling me about?" Olaf: "Yes! They're all so adorable. I love having them here . . .in fact, I can't imagine life without them!"
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Post by notsoquiet on Jun 23, 2008 6:44:01 GMT -5
Book 1: *hanging from tower, Sunny looks down at Violet* Sunny: HELP! Violet: Why? Sunny: I am you sister! Violet: why? Sunny: because we have the same parents Violet: why? Sunny: Because they got married! Violet: why? Sunny: Because they love each other? Violet: why? Sunny: why why? Violet: I don't know. sunny: why? violet: I am not sure. sunny: why?? .....
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Post by F*** THE DAILY MAIL on Jun 24, 2008 18:24:06 GMT -5
Book 1: *hanging from tower, Sunny looks down at Violet* Sunny: HELP! Violet: Why? Sunny: I am you sister! Violet: why? Sunny: because we have the same parents Violet: why? Sunny: Because they got married! Violet: why? Sunny: Because they love each other? Violet: why? Sunny: why why? Violet: I don't know. sunny: why? violet: I am not sure. sunny: why?? ..... WTF...?XDDDDDDDD
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Post by Elle on Jul 1, 2008 23:07:44 GMT -5
Olaf (singing): You know that I am called the Count because I really love to count. I could sit and count all day. Sometimes I get carried away. I count slowly, slowly, slowly getting faster! Once I've started counting it's really hard to stop! Faster, faster. It is so exciting! I could count forever, count until I drop! 1! 2! 3! 4! 1-2-3-4, 1-2-3-4 I count the spiders on the wall... I count the cobwebs in the hall... I count the candles on the shelf... When I'm alone, I count myself! I count slowly, slowly, slowly getting faster! Once I've started counting it's really hard to stop! Faster, faster. It is so exciting! I could count forever, count until I drop! 1! 2! 3! 4! 1-2-3-4, 1-2-3-4, I love counting! That's the song of the Count! In case you don't get the reference, here's the original song with different video: www.youtube.com/watch?v=kqGCSEAZGwc and the original video with the awesome Lemon Demon version of the song: www.albinoblacksheep.com/video/thecount (HA! They totally set themselves up for that one... and that version fits better with that video anyway... Also, I think that video would scare the living sh*t out of any child. PS: I don't think those are the right lyrics but I got them off of a lyrics website, so that's not me screwing up...)
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Post by Dale Thomas Luck on Jul 19, 2008 18:08:40 GMT -5
Lemony Snicket: "I miss my dearest Beatrice... but damn Esmé is fit." Lol
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