Post by Tiago James Squalor on Dec 3, 2010 13:15:05 GMT -5
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In this tale of retail, nothing good can happen, so please return this book to the bookshop where you bought it, for THE BARBAROUS BAZAAR is about the most horrible installment yet in YET ANOTHER SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS.
As Violet, Klaus, Sunny and Beatrice Baudelaire arrive at Burton's Bazaar, they run into thirteen strange salespeople, a conspiracy to commit murder, a worrying father, a cricket croquet mallet, crucial information concealed in a rubber duck, several strange items for sale, and distressing information concerning a volunteer family.
It is not too late to return this book for which you probably paid good money, even though it is so bad, and save not only money, but yourself, from another dreadful story in the Baudelaire case.
Post by Emma “Emmz” Squalor on Dec 3, 2010 20:41:12 GMT -5
Aww, it looks as though Dante has beaten me to commenting on "the tale of retail" phrase. *Esme pout* But I'll say my part anyway on how awesome and creative it is.
It's hard to believe that any of the following events in YASoUE can be more terrible than what we've already seen. Still, that's just one of the things about series like this that make for such interesting reading. I'm eager to see these events unfold. ^^
Post by Tiago James Squalor on Dec 4, 2010 17:54:45 GMT -5
Burton's Bazaar Salespeople Meeting Transcript
A: First I would like to call all salespeople to say 'Present' if they are, indeed, present. S, please take notes, as always.
*sound of hammer*
A: Please say present, V.
V: Sorry. Present.
A: L? Is L present?
L: I am. Sorry, I got caught up reading.
A: Pay better attention next time then. K.
E: I'm present.
A: Just say present, E. V.
A: Where is E?
K: She went to the bathroom. I can fill in for her.
A: Alright. E.
A: Did you seriously need to bring that into our meeting room, E?
A: Anyways... T.
N: He is present, A.
A: Okay. N.
A: Have I forgotten someone? J, S, V, L, K, K, V, E, E, I, E, T, and N. Alright. Everyone is present.
L: E is still in the bathroom.
A: I heard D is coming back to the Bazaar, which means we have to sell him the rubber duck in secret, because if I heard correctly, there are villains coming to the Bazaar soon. I assume everyone knows the Burton's Bazaar Standard Escape Plan.
A: Good. The alleyways are labirynthic, if our enemies do infiltrate the Bazaar, we'll have chance to make an escape to Hyde Place, and near it, Thriller Park.
K: Aren't all the doors in the alleyways padlocked though, A?
A: Yes. But if you are familiar with the Standard Escape Plan B you know there's a sequence of alleyways that are opened, and that will lead to the exit that gives way to Hyde Place. Our job is to secure that D and his new protegés maintain the rubber duck secured during their time here, and after they leave the Bazaar, they can safely hide in Thriller Park, in D's house.
J: I envy D. His shop is everything I wish my shop was.
A: Maybe one day you'll be like him, J. Also, I've informed T and E about our plan. Everything is being set into motion, and E's meeting with the Baudelaires will happen soon enough. That being said, I declare this meeting adjourned.
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I'm leaving to meet with the infamous Baudelaire orphans right now, at the train station. My hope is that they can help me find out if my suspicions are correct. If they are, then XXxxxXXXXX will meet again eventually. It has been so long, I can barely remember her face. I do remember her hair. But now I have A. She's been great help, and now we are together. She agreed to wait for me and the Baudelaires at the exit in Hyde Place, near the park. From there we can walk to Thriller Park, and once we are in, we'll be safe. I just hope that when we do so, C will be with us.
A portion of the diary entry was smudged and illegible. - - - - -
The Baudelaires are back in the city, after a long time journeying one place after the other. I can't imagine how homesick they must feel, but how homesick can they properly be if they haven't had a real home in what must feel like decades? You and I know the feeling too well. You know where to meet me.
Post by Emma “Emmz” Squalor on Dec 4, 2010 19:44:38 GMT -5
Wow, that was a lot longer than your regular standard teasers, Tiago! To quote an old 667 compatriot of mine (May), me likes a lot.
The Meeting Transcript was very informative, and funny too. I liked how V was scolded by A for saying "Here" rather than "Present". It reminds me of my days as a student. XD
I enjoyed Desmond's journal entry. It's always fascinating to see past and present events from various perspectives, and the information contained here gives us readers a lot to think about. For example, who is A, and is there more to D's phrase of "and now we are together"?
I can't think of anything to say about T's note to E without the fear of spoiling anything, so for now just know that I loved it.
This all sounds fascinating. I'm particularly intrigued by the mention of a rubber duck, which sounds like it could be the new sugar bowl. And you're quite skilled at writing the meeting transcripts, too.