Post by bryan on Jan 7, 2011 17:28:56 GMT -5
I didn't see this posted yet, so I decided too
Some of what he says is kind of hard to make out though
www.youtube.com/watch?v=wi7Jwg8vSB0&NR=1Alot
TEXT OF DANIEL HANDLER'S H.S. GRAD. SPEECH:
"B codes were long on Mondays, short on Tuesdays, long on Wednesdays, short on Thursdays, and alternately long and short on Fridays depending on what day Friday was that day. C codes were short on Mondays, long on Tuesdays, short on Wednesdays, long on Thursdays, and alternately short and long on Fridays depending on what day Friday was that day," explained the people in the red and white hats, who were either from the BSCS, the LEC, the SAB, the BBSO, the CSF or the CIA...we weren't quite sure.
The complementary hotdogs were in butterflies in our stomachs and freshman orientation, as it were, was over. It was now time for freshman disorientation.
We walked into our first day of Lowell High School, searching desperately through the masses for old friends. And the people from the SAB or the LEC told us to go to R-E-G, which was pronounced "reg", which was short for registry, which most people called "home room". There we received ABC cards, which most people called "schedules", and then we went to algebra, which most people called "pain". Perhaps the most scary thing was the fact that instead of being the smartest person in our middle school class, we were now amongst 3000 smartest kids in their middle school class. We hung out with people who talked about quarks.
Things settled down, we were OK. We knew there that wasn't really a fourth floor pool. We could tell our principals from our hall guards. And although we hadn't yet figured out the difference between CP 8 and AP 8, we knew that the seniors, and there were some without red and white hats, who told us that the easiest way to get some studying done during lunch was to eat in a library, weren't acting in our best interests.
Sophomore year came and went. We repeated our triumphant performance in our second spirit week.
Junior year started out with questions like "Spoon is to bowl as coffee cup is to..." and ended with questions like "Where can I find a date?!!". Another interesting event in the junior year was the appearance of brand new oddly-textured brown courtyard furniture, the arrangement of said furniture into an odd little pyramid, and the message that said arrangement was not at all funny!
Senior year was suddenly upon us, and our lives were filled with the magical senior things which we had envied in other seniors. Special green senior bulletins, with special senior things written on them. Special Senior Pizza Nite and Picnic. Special senior swim requirement. Special senior college rejection letters. We also had a special system to completely eliminate litter from our otherwise crimeless school, a special system which involved special red flags and special green flags. But when the dreaded WASC Committee, which had turned up its nose at the garbage during a previous visit, praised our special system and departed with "Of course, you're accreditated" smiles on their federal faces, the administration seemed to lose interest in the plan. Coincidence? You tell me.
And now here we are, and the year finally corresponds with the first two digits in our reg's. It's 1988, and it's time for the parting of this red sea. It's been four long years and yet it really does seem like yesterday that we didn't know where the T's were. It's hard to believe that it's already time to put on our robes of acetate. There are many important lessons to be learned from this school: If you don't see any teachers you like, you file "Incomplete". You can't make a courtyard into a fountain and it isn't possible to have an addition to the library that makes it smaller. But one important lesson is the element of survival of the fittest. We are the fittest. We survived 8 sets of finals, we survived 7 self-scheduling days, we survived Driver's Ed, we survived 2 crushing defeats during Spirit Week. We survived budget cuts in the classroom and cold cuts in the cafeteria. We survived every single edition of Radio Lowell. We survived every single bulletin, and we survived graduation rehearsals. But most of all we learned how to dwell together and learn together without tearing ourselves apart. If every student, teacher and administrator-type person had a can of hairspray for every time they wanted to throw in the towel, we might have the makings of a Lowell dance. But here we all are, in these handsome caps, the survivors of four years of our lives that are perhaps glorious, perhaps tedious, but most importantly: Over!
Whether we realize it or not, we received a great education here and had a lot of fun doing it. We all have a lot to learn; for instance, to this day I have no idea the difference between an ionic and a covalent bond. But this school certainly helped me on my way to my lifetime goal, which is to know everything. Congratulations to all of you and to myself, not necessarily in that order, and to all of our parents and teachers. This school's a school one does not easily forget. Thank you.
Reason for Editing: I messaged the person who uploaded it and got the transcription
Some of what he says is kind of hard to make out though
www.youtube.com/watch?v=wi7Jwg8vSB0&NR=1Alot
TEXT OF DANIEL HANDLER'S H.S. GRAD. SPEECH:
"B codes were long on Mondays, short on Tuesdays, long on Wednesdays, short on Thursdays, and alternately long and short on Fridays depending on what day Friday was that day. C codes were short on Mondays, long on Tuesdays, short on Wednesdays, long on Thursdays, and alternately short and long on Fridays depending on what day Friday was that day," explained the people in the red and white hats, who were either from the BSCS, the LEC, the SAB, the BBSO, the CSF or the CIA...we weren't quite sure.
The complementary hotdogs were in butterflies in our stomachs and freshman orientation, as it were, was over. It was now time for freshman disorientation.
We walked into our first day of Lowell High School, searching desperately through the masses for old friends. And the people from the SAB or the LEC told us to go to R-E-G, which was pronounced "reg", which was short for registry, which most people called "home room". There we received ABC cards, which most people called "schedules", and then we went to algebra, which most people called "pain". Perhaps the most scary thing was the fact that instead of being the smartest person in our middle school class, we were now amongst 3000 smartest kids in their middle school class. We hung out with people who talked about quarks.
Things settled down, we were OK. We knew there that wasn't really a fourth floor pool. We could tell our principals from our hall guards. And although we hadn't yet figured out the difference between CP 8 and AP 8, we knew that the seniors, and there were some without red and white hats, who told us that the easiest way to get some studying done during lunch was to eat in a library, weren't acting in our best interests.
Sophomore year came and went. We repeated our triumphant performance in our second spirit week.
Junior year started out with questions like "Spoon is to bowl as coffee cup is to..." and ended with questions like "Where can I find a date?!!". Another interesting event in the junior year was the appearance of brand new oddly-textured brown courtyard furniture, the arrangement of said furniture into an odd little pyramid, and the message that said arrangement was not at all funny!
Senior year was suddenly upon us, and our lives were filled with the magical senior things which we had envied in other seniors. Special green senior bulletins, with special senior things written on them. Special Senior Pizza Nite and Picnic. Special senior swim requirement. Special senior college rejection letters. We also had a special system to completely eliminate litter from our otherwise crimeless school, a special system which involved special red flags and special green flags. But when the dreaded WASC Committee, which had turned up its nose at the garbage during a previous visit, praised our special system and departed with "Of course, you're accreditated" smiles on their federal faces, the administration seemed to lose interest in the plan. Coincidence? You tell me.
And now here we are, and the year finally corresponds with the first two digits in our reg's. It's 1988, and it's time for the parting of this red sea. It's been four long years and yet it really does seem like yesterday that we didn't know where the T's were. It's hard to believe that it's already time to put on our robes of acetate. There are many important lessons to be learned from this school: If you don't see any teachers you like, you file "Incomplete". You can't make a courtyard into a fountain and it isn't possible to have an addition to the library that makes it smaller. But one important lesson is the element of survival of the fittest. We are the fittest. We survived 8 sets of finals, we survived 7 self-scheduling days, we survived Driver's Ed, we survived 2 crushing defeats during Spirit Week. We survived budget cuts in the classroom and cold cuts in the cafeteria. We survived every single edition of Radio Lowell. We survived every single bulletin, and we survived graduation rehearsals. But most of all we learned how to dwell together and learn together without tearing ourselves apart. If every student, teacher and administrator-type person had a can of hairspray for every time they wanted to throw in the towel, we might have the makings of a Lowell dance. But here we all are, in these handsome caps, the survivors of four years of our lives that are perhaps glorious, perhaps tedious, but most importantly: Over!
Whether we realize it or not, we received a great education here and had a lot of fun doing it. We all have a lot to learn; for instance, to this day I have no idea the difference between an ionic and a covalent bond. But this school certainly helped me on my way to my lifetime goal, which is to know everything. Congratulations to all of you and to myself, not necessarily in that order, and to all of our parents and teachers. This school's a school one does not easily forget. Thank you.
Reason for Editing: I messaged the person who uploaded it and got the transcription