Chapter Two
It’s obvious that, in order to reach certain train cars during a train journey a passenger has to remove him or herself from within the safety of their own cabin and pass through many other cars, or if the passenger is particularly unfortunate, climb on top of them and hop from car to car, hoping that they might not fall to a horrible death. The
Ethereal Express was a unique case in that the passengers did not need to go into the chilly, windy outside at all, because each car was linked to the previous through a series of strange tunnels that we painted like starry night skies. The Baudelaires passed through several cars to reach the Pisces car this way, led by Emma Squalor, but, for narrative reasons, it’s best to leave the description of each car to the chapter to which it is relevant, otherwise I might keep you here all day – or all night – dear reader.
‘…Sagittarius…Scorpio…Capricorn…Aquarius…’ Emma Squalor mumbled nervously as she led the Baudelaires in a quick sucession. Soon they arrived at the strange tunnel connecting the Aquarius car to the Pisces car. ‘This is the restaurant car. I hope you like seafood.’ Emma said, as she opened the door. The Baudelaires followed her into the restaurant. It was quite a surprise, to find such a fancy, but normal restaurant in there. After having been to such as the Café Salmonella, and the In-N-Out Burger, a taste of normality was welcome to the Baudelaires. The same could not be said of the seafood, however. Not too many hours ago they were fed sushi and other japanese seafood dishes, and even a potentially lethal one, so naturally, the Baudelaire orphans’ taste for seafood had soured for the time being. There weren’t that many passegers at the tables, as it was past midnight, and the train had just left the station. No one seemed to be too hungry yet, maybe the Baudelaires were, but for theirs was a hunger for answers.
‘Here!’ Said a blonde woman sitting in the middle of the restaurant lounge. Her shoulder-length blonde hair was decorated by a red hairpin, and she wore a caramel fur coat. Her eyes were blue and outlined by black mascara. ‘That is our contact inside the train. She’ll explain everything to you. I’ll join you in a minute, I have to eat. I’m
famished.’ Emma sat in a table closer to the door, while the Baudelaires proceeded to the blonde woman’s table. As they got closer, she smiled at them, although not without certain melancholy. ‘So. You are the famed Baudelaire orphans.’ She said. ‘Please, sit.’ She eyed them in anticipation, as they sat at the table. ‘I’m Margot, nice to meet you. Me and my brothers take care of the volunteers taking the Ethereal Express. This is our unofficial headquarter on rails, so to speak.’ Before Margot was a bowl of butterscotch ice cream, nearly untouched. ‘Would you like some ice cream?’ Violet smiled. ‘Yes, thank you.’ A waiter nearby came and took their orders, and disappeared. ‘I’m sure you’ve been through a lot recently, and I’m sure there are many questions you want to ask. I’ll answer you honestly. Ask away.’
Klaus broke the silence easily. ‘Before anything, I would like to know exactly
where are we going.’ Margot tried a spoonful of her ice cream and savored it for a few seconds before answering. ‘We are going to the
last real safe place. The city of
Ultima. We are to attend a reunion, a gathering of volunteers like there has not been for decades.’ Margot paused to await more questions. ‘
Ultima?’ Sunny repeated. ‘We’ve never heard of such a place.’ Margot smiled. ‘Precisely. It’s a snowy place, between forest, mountain and ocean, a place that has been a haven for us for years. A place that has been forgotten by our enemies. A small town where our hostess awaits us. She’s elderly and ill, so we must make haste. The
Ethereal Express is at full speed, and there aren’t many scheduled stops ahead so to not delay us.’ The Baudelaires’ minds were reeling. Each answer Margot gave them created more questions. Meanwhile, the door of the restaurant opened to reveal Emma Squalor’s 667er companions, Dante, Sherry Ann and Hermes, joining her for supper. ‘Ultima is beautiful at this time of the year. Winter has already arrived there.’
Winter was the season of Violet and Klaus’ birth, but that was well away for at least a few days. ‘I was born there, me and my two brothers.’ Margot added. ‘You have two brothers?’ Klaus asked. For all he loved his sisters, he always wondered what it would be like to have a brother. But alas, Sunny had been born a girl, and their parents were dead, and Violet and Sunny and Beatrice were all the family Klaus had. ‘Yes. You’ll meet them. They’ve heard a great deal about you.’ Margot smiled, and then the waiter was beside them with a silver tray and four bowls of ice cream. They began to eat their ice cream.
‘Who else is coming to this reunion?’ Violet asked. ‘Well, all the volunteers we’ve been able to contact, few of which are aboard the train already, fewer still which will soon join us when we make our stops. You’ll meet them all soon enough. Those over there are coming with us too.’ Margot pointed to the 667er’s, which were talking, and Emma appeared to have calmed down. ‘Why was Emma so nervous?’ Klaus asked. ‘When she came for us at out cabin she was visibly shaken. Is anything wrong?’ Margot’s smile disappeared. She glanced at the neighboring table and down to her own bowl of ice cream. ‘We fear…That some enemies might be aboard this train…Or might yet board it, when the train makes it’s stops.’ The solution seemed simple. ‘Well, then let’s not stop, and just go to Ultima, then.’ Sunny suggested. ‘If we did that, which we can’t, then our
friends wouldn’t be able to board it then. I might have to remind you, this train is not officially connected to any of us. As far as the staff and crew know, I’m just a travel agent. The train will stop where it will stop and more passengers will come aboard on the journey north and there’s not much we can do about it. I’ve talked to the crew about inspections, but they paid me no attention.’
‘Then what are going to do when
they come aboard and start wreaking havoc?’ Violet asked Margot. ‘We simply have to remain vigilant. Any passenger with suspect behavior can be arrested by the crew, provided enough people catch him doing something strange. This is where our
talents come in.’ Margot smiled and finished her ice cream, licking the spoon in a childlike manner. ‘There are no volunteers aboard this train. There are merely
passengers and passengers we all are. We’ll remain in the shadows, concealing ourselves until we reach Ultima. No villains ever go there, you can trust me on that. Until then, you will work on this train.’
That only partially surprised the Baudelaires. Partial surprise is a curious feeling. It appears whenever you’re expecting something big to happen only for it to happen in half, or when you’re half expecting something to happen, and that something ends up happening on a full scale rather than in two halves, and you don’t know which half of it surprises you more, leaving you half surprised and half unsurprised. This time the surprise was partial because by now, as you, my dear reader knows, the Baudelaires always expected to be asked something in return from the adults that took care of them, or pretended to, anyway. They were not surprised by being asked to work undercover – which here means ‘in disguise’ and not ‘under the covers’ as one might think – because they had done that many times in the past, most recently until just a few hours ago, when they were still waiting tables at the House of Red Leaves, or before that, when they were cleaning and scrubbing. They were surprised that these same circumstances had presented themselves before, in a sense. Not too long ago, they had reached a place deemed as the last safe place, a place named Hotel Denouement and had to work undercover at the hotel to uncover all manner of secret schemes, only the uncovering of those schemes proved to be the least succesful half of it all. The Baudelaires were now full-fledged, fire-forged volunteers, and could be expected to perform tasks required by their elder fellow volunteers, but at least know they knew to not act so surprised whenever it was required of them to do so.
‘Well, we can’t say we’re surprised.’ Violet summed it all up. ‘We saw this coming.’ Klaus completed. ‘Well, you are volunteers. True volunteers.’ Margot said. ‘Decepticon.’ Uttered little Beatrice from her child’s chair. Sunny promptly translated it to the rest as ‘Let’s get our disguises on, then.’ Margot smiled at the child, only to wave a hand at her. ‘Not now, Beatrice. We are still a few hours away from the first stop, let’s enjoy each other’s company for now. We can have more ice cream and plan our routines. Let’s join our friends over there. If it’s planning we need to do, the 667er’s will prove a great asset.’ Margot rose from her chair, instructing the Baudelaires to do the same. The tall blonde woman left a wad of money on the table and advanced towards the 667er’s table, a long ten seater sidetable on the west side of the restaurant. The Baudelaires followed and sat at the table with Margot. At this point, the 667er’s had finished their supper and enjoyed some brandy, which Margot also took part in. ‘I’m glad to see you all out of those kimonos. You did say they were too much trouble to wear.’ Margot said to the 667er’s, in courtesy. ‘Oh, for a westerner, maybe. They’re not very practical for a volunteer, but I’m glad to be wearing my jacket again.’ Dante said with his brittish accent. ‘And me my dresses. Kimonos are beautiful, but they do limit one’s movements.’ Sherry Ann added. ‘Yes, yes, we all know the comforts of western wardrobe. I missed this vest, but let’s talk of our next wardrobe additions. Our disguises.’ Hermes said, straightening his glasses.
‘I read the profiles you provided me with and it seems to me that Violet would be best suited to work at the head engineer’s place, seeing to the train’s structure, but it might be best not to put her on such a far off car. The head enginneer stays in the coffin car, it would be too dangerous for one as valuable as Violet.’ Margot said. ‘Coffin car?’ Sunny asked. Just the word coffin reminded her of Fulfillment Funeral Factory Ltd. and the way it burned. ‘The coffin car is the first car of the train, if you count from the locomotive, excluding the tender of course.’ Klaus said. He was quite knowledgeable of trains, as he had read many books on the subject before. ‘It is generally the first car to be destroyed in the event of a derailment or explosion. Since passengers would also occupy it in some trains, it became know as coffin car because, well, accidents fill coffins.’
‘That’s quite right.’ Hermes said. ‘We don’t want Violet to fill a coffin anytime soon.’ Violet was not too happy about being kept from doing something that interested her, but perhaps this time it would not do to expose herself to such danger. A lot depended on their safe arrival at Ultima, even if it meant surviving a derailment or explosion and boarding another train. ‘Well, I’m sure there’s something else I can do.’ Violet said. ‘There’s the Sagittarius car. It is the sight-seeing and entertainment car, with big windows and games. You could perhaps operate the telescopes they have there.’ Emma Squalor suggested. ‘That should do it.’ Violet smiled. Telescopes interested her, and sight-seeing too. The same could not be said for the games, whatever games they might be, their stay at Casanova Casino was far to recent for them to want a play in any game whatsoever.
‘Klaus can work at the library. The passengers of the
Ethereal Express are all very well read, we have gathered. It will be an interesting experience for you, no doubt.’ Dante suggested, and Klaus nodded agreement. ‘Yes. I have never been to a library on rails before…Well, except on our way to this car.’
‘For Beatrice and Sunny, however…The passengers might find it odd if there are children at work here. Sure, Klaus and Violet are nearly adults, but these two…It might be best to put the little ones in the Scorpio car. The Infirmary and Nursery.’ Sherry Ann said, examining the two littlest Baudelaires. ‘Can’t I help in the kitchen here?’ Sunny asked. ‘No, Sunny. This time, I’m afraid it would not do to have you all separated like that. The Libra, Scorpio and Sagittarius car are all close to each other in proximity. It’s only natural and prudent to separate the four of you between the three cars.’ Dante said. ‘I agree. The Nursery it is, for them.’ Margot smiled.
With their roles laid out ahead of them, the Baudelaires needed only to step into it, an expression which here means “to disguise themselves pronto”, but they were not in a hurry. It was still a few hours away from the first stop of the journey north, and they could enjoy the 667er’s and Margot’s company for the time being. Because I’m afraid to say, it was the one of the last shreds of good company that they would experience in that fated journey north.