Cool story guy who I feel I shouldn't like right now on general principle.
Wow thanks not guy who I probably feel the same way about.
Dear Bryan,
You said you would tell us who did it on 12/21/12. There are only 7 minutes left of 12/21/12 in my timezone and in most places it's already the 22nd. You lied to us.
Wow I suck. Sorry. It just got longer than I meant it to.
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667 Dark Avenue's Christmas Party Apocalypse
Conclusion
There was a bright flash and everything stopped. It was going to be Christmas in a few days, and everyone at 667 had been partyin hardyin. That's why most were unafraid when the world ended.
Most had no idea that one of their own was going to end the life of all mankind for one selfish reason or another.
The party had ended, but you wouldn't have known it. Music was still playing in the main hall, bottles were left open and cigars left lit in the 18+ lounge, and there were still people in the kitchens. The light snow had stopped falling, but the building's interior was still decorated. Every one of 667's member's were still in the building, but no one as crunk as could be. Everyone had been left to fall dead where they were standing when it happened. There were bodies in the barn, on the stairs, in the library... everyone was gone. Everyone, that is, besides three people.
~
SophieAll Sophie had remembered was a bright flash, and how it felt as if everything had stopped. She had felt faint, and began to panic that it didn't work. She had only passed out though, and now began to wake up.
While slowly fading back into consciousness, she sat up. She had only ran into the elevator and pushed the ground floor button by the time it had happened. She slowly stood up now and hit the button that would take her back to the 18+ lounge. As the elevator slowly escalated, so did the amount of pressure she felt.
What if I made the wrong decision? she thought, staring at the ground.
No, I have to trust myself. This was the only way. You love
him Sophie, you love
him.The elevator stopped and the doors opened. Sophie looked up and at the door at the end of the hallway. Slowly she walked toward it, paused for a moment, and then opened the door and entered. Shutting it behind her, she looked around. The explosion hadn't reached up here either. The heat and radiation causing instant death certainly did, but the physical damage on the building must have only been contained to the kitchen.
Sophie looked at the bodies scattered on the floor. BSam! had passed out on the table, but Rellim, Shelly, Pandora, and all of the other 18+ers had collapsed onto the floor in front of the platform with the fireplace on it which Sophie walked up to.
The only two on it were Willis and Tragedy. Sophie pushed Willis' body off, letting it fall down the few steps, and sat next to Tragedy. She gently nudged him, but nothing happened. She slapped him.
"Wha-what?" he asked groggily, waking up. "What... what hap-" and then he saw Sophie. "
?"
Sophie took a deep breath to calm herself. "It's... it's just me Tragedy. Just you and me." He was silent. "You're probably confused. Well... you've been... not yourself lately. And I... I wanted you back."
"
?"
"Well," said Sophie carefully, "I figured the only way to get you back to yourself would be to... to get us alone." Tragedy looked around him at everyone else. He got up and went over to Willis, nudging him. "That's... that's not worth it," said Sophie. "He's not... he's not coming back."
"
," Tragedy said. He ran over to Pandora, nudging her in her side with his shoe.
"Nor is she," said Sophie. "Nor is anyone."
"
?"
"This was the only way to get you to... TO TALK TO ME AGAIN," Sophie exploded. "I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT OUT OF NOWHERE YOU STOPPED SAYING ANYTHING TO ME AND I CAN'T... I- I CAN'T TAKE THAT. I NEED YOU, TRAGEDY," Sophie began welling up, "AND NOW- NOW LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO," she motioned to all of the fallen bodies in front of her grandly. "THIS WAS ALL YOUR FUALT. THEY'RE DEAD. ALL OF THEM. ALL OF OUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY ARE DEAD JUST BECAUSE YOU WON'T SAY
ONE GODDAMN WORD TO ME, TRAGEDY. ARE YOU GOING TO SAY
ANYTHING? TRAGEDY-" but then Sophie stopped. "I just caused the apocalypse for you. That's what this was, you know. We're the only two left on earth, Tragedy."
Just then, the door to the lounge burst open. Standing in the doorway was Bryan, with a look of confusion on his face. Sophie and Tragedy both looked at him.
Sophie stared for a moment. "How..." she started, puzzled. "HOW ARE YOU-"
"SOPHIE," yelled Tragedy. She looked up at him, surprised at first, but then with a look of utmost happiness. She was speechless. "Sophie," said Tragedy again. "Leave. Now." Despite what she was being told, Sophie was smiling. She listened and walked out of the room. She walked past Bryan, hardly noticing him now. She sat down in the hallway outside, lost in glee. She was in a dazed state, on the high of Tragedy's voice. But then light began to fade in and out, and everything started again.
~
BryanSomewhere in one of the bedrooms of 667, an alarm clock went off. A man shot out of bed. "Augh!" he shouted. He looked at the time. "Crap!" he said. "I'm late for the party!" He looked at the clock again. "Really late!" Bryan jumped out of bed, got ready, and ran outside. He tried to get into the elevator, but it was taking too long. He decided to take the stairs instead. For some reason, it didn't sound like much of a party in the building. He didn't even run into anyone on the stairway.
On his way to the main hall though, he saw Sophie in a hallway. He tried following her, but she walked into the 18+ lounge and shut the door behind her. Bryan would have followed inside, but by the time he got to the door he could hear her having an important conversation with someone.
At first it only sounded like relationship issues, but then he hear her yelling. And then...
"I just caused the apocalypse for you." Bryan decided to go in.
Sophie and Tragedy looked at him. "How..." Sophie began. "HOW ARE YOU-"
"SOPHIE," Tragedy yelled. "Sophie, Leave. Now." Sophie walked out passed Bryan, looking strangely pleased.
"Uh..." said Bryan, looking around the room at all of the bodies. "What... what happened?"
"Everyone is dead," said Tragedy.
"...How are us three still-"
"I don't know. Sophie must have made it that way somehow. I don't know why she saved you though."
"Why did she... uh, do this?"
"She thought the only way I would ever talk to her again was if we were the last two on earth. So she got rid of everyone."
"Well... why didn't you just... talk to her?"
"How was I supposed to know she would do this? Or that she even
could do this? I just needed my space. And trust me, I've had a loooot of relationships, so I was sure that the best thing to do was ignore her." He paused. "But I guess it wasn't."
Bryan and Tragedy looked out over the 18+ lounge. There were huddles of bodies on the floor, surrounded by tables, chairs, and empty bottles. Everything was strangely peaceful. The night had passed, but it wasn't quite morning yet. There were clouds in the sky, but a dim light came in through the floor-leangth windows of the lounge. Everything looked like it was riddled with a hint of gray.
"Hold this," said Tragedy, taking off and handing Bryan his jacket and breaking the silence.
"What are you doing?" asked Bryan as Tragedy raised his arms. "What's this?" he asked, pointing at his stance.
"An admin power surge," answered Tragedy. Then light began to fade in and out, and everything started again.
~
Tragedy"ATTENTION EVERYONE OF 667 DARK AVENUE," a voice announced over the building's PA system. "ONCE YOU HAVE GATHERED YOURSELVES, PLEASE REPORT TO THE 18+ LOUNGE. I REPEAT, ONCE YOU HAVE GATHERED YOURSELVES, PLEASE REPORT TO THE 18+ LOUNGE." Tragedy took his finger off of the 'talk' button, and then hit another button that looped the message to continue to play.
Slowly but surely, everyone came upstairs (or downstairs, depending on where they were) to the lounge. The crowd in the main hall, silently and with much confusion, got up as if they had just slept a very short amount of time after a very long night. They shambled forward, mindlessly. In the barn, Pen and Lucas did the same, having forgotten all about their argument. Everyone in the library got up in a daze and did as the others did. In the basement, LSWannabe grabbed the knife that had fallen next to her when Countess Violet had fallen to cut the ropes binding herself, Linda, Songbird, and Songdrib. They all shambled upstairs together. Even Countess Violet, in their collectively disoriented state, followed. Everyone in the lounge already just sat there confused.
Sophie got in first. "What did you just do?" she asked. He said nothing. She went to sit down, waiting for an explanation. As everyone got inside, small chatter began, increasing more and more as people woke up.
Dante arrived with those he had been in the library with. He went over to Tragedy and told him what he knew, then called over Hermes, Sherry Ann, Mister MD, and Charlie Snicket so they could do the same.
"So," said Tragedy, turning off the PA announcement. "I guess the apocalypse just happened then."
"Yes," answered Hermes, "but... how are we all here?"
"Never mind that," said Tragedy. "So there were five different people trying to end the world tonight?"
"Correct," said Sherry Ann.
"We can't let this happen again," Tragedy said. "We should probably find out who the conspirators were now that everyone's here."
The crowd, all of whom had sat themselves at tables or on the floor, began chattering louder. Sophie sat off to the side, uncomfortable.
"Everyone," Dante said loudly. "If I could get your attention." The crowd fell silent. "So, we have some things to figure out, don't we?"
"What the potato just happened?" asked Pandora.
"Wait a second," Pen said, pointing at Countess Violet. "What's
she doing here?"
"Yeah, what am I doing here?" Countess Violet asked, remembering what had happened. "I should go." She headed for the door, but everyone started yelling and pushed her back into her seat.
"Oh yeah..." said Songdrib, also remembering. "She just tried to KILL ME."
"Well you did die," said Dante. "It might not have been because of her though. Hermes, Sherry Ann, Mister MD, Charlie Snicket, and I have found out that
five people have tried to cause the apocalypse, and that
one actually succeeded." Dante was met with some gasps, and a few disbelieving giggles. "So," said Dante. "Who were the conspirators?" Nobody moved. Bryan looked up at Tragedy to see if he was going to say anything, but he wasn't, so Bryan stayed silent.
Out of nowhere, Pandora shouted, "I did it!" Everyone looked at her in disbelief. Pandora stood up, soaking it all in.
"Pandora?" Willis asked.
"Just kidding I lied," she said. "I'm just self absorbed and wanted you all to look at me." She sat back down.
Suddenly though, Sophie cleared her throat and slowly stood up. "I tried," she said, sounding guilty. After a moment of stunned silence, the crowd erupted. Some made moves at Sophie, but Dante grabbed her and five chairs and brought them all to the platform with the fireplace on it. Sophie sat down in a chair with people still yelling at her.
"NOW," shouted Dante, quieting everyone, "there are four others who need to be up here, aren't there. Who are they?"
"Countess Violet," everyone said in unison.
"Yeah no that makes sense," she said, walking up to the platform and sitting in a chair.
"Now," continued Dante, "who else?"
"Mister MD!" said Sherry Ann with glee.
"Well, I never!" attempted Mister MD before Sherry Ann gave him a dirty, skeptical look that sent him up to the platform.
"The fourth person?" asked Dante.
"Okay fine it was me. Actually there are two of us," said Willis. "Me and BSam!." Everyone looked around at them, confused.
"Yeah can you juss go up there?" asked BSam! from his table. "Cuz even though I died I'm still really 'ungover." Willis walked up to the platform to represent the two of them.
"Now, who's the last person?" Dante asked. No one moved. "Come on."
"Well," said Hermes, "was there anyone playing any music maybe? Anyone around animals? Because that was an apocalypse-causing method."
"Pen!" shouted Lucas.
"What?" asked Pen. "No! It was Lucas! Or neither of us! It was an accident then! I don't know! We were both kicked out of the main hall for playing our music."
"What?" asked Bat Wayne. "Lucas left on his own. Only you were kicked out, Pen."
"Lucas," said Dante, and Lucas walked up to the platform, slumped over, taking the last seat. "Actually, Lucas, let's start with you. So. How did you plan on causing the apocalypse?"
"Can I?" asked Hermes, walking up to the front of the room. "The book you gave me, Dante, said that if you mix the sounds of a low scraping noise, a high pitched electronic one, and an animal noise during a full moon, then the world will end."
"Yep," said Lucas. "I made Bat Wayne play a song that I
knew Pen would hate. I
knew everyone would make Pen leave for his ear-grating music. I
knew he would follow the path to the barn, and I
knew that there were sheep in the barn, so I was just going to let both of us play our music while they bleated. But it
couldn't have been me who actually caused the apocalypse. The sheep were
dead!" At this point, Sixteen let out a small sob.
"But why did you do it?" Hermes asked.
"Why?" asked Lucas. "Have you even
heard the things these people have said to me? So I like K-Pop and made a thread about it. Does that
really deserve me being both ostracized and constantly mocked? No. I mean... maybe I was being a bit rash about the whole 'apocalypse' thing, but still."
It got quiet. Everyone looked at Tragedy, wondering what he would do with Lucas. "Just... just go sit back down, Lucas." Everyone was surprised, but didn't question him as Lucas slunk off of the platform and sat at an empty table.
"Well..." said Dante, breaking the silence. "How about Mister MD? How exactly were you planning on ending the world?"
"I got this one," said Sherry Ann, standing up. "The book you gave me, Dante, said that if you sing the words to an old Scottish folk song while a traditional Scottish dance is being performed during a full moon, then the apocalypse will happen. Mister MD was trying to make me sing the song earlier."
"Hey! He made me and Groge do the dance!" shouted Bee.
"Okay, fine. Yes, I tried to end the world. But I only did it because of Bee. She not only rejected me, but called me things like creepy over and over again. And then everyone else would join in and it was
sooooo funny. It wasn't fair. I mean... I guess I was jealous... but this was the only thing I could think to do... It couldn't have worked though! The book said that the words had to be spoken or sung
in the presence of the people dancing. Sherry Ann was upstairs!"
"Fine," said Tragedy. "Go sit next to Lucas." Mister MD walked off the platform.
"Next," said Dante, "is-"
"Me!" said Willis. "So me and BSam! were talking, and we were like 'wow 667 Dark Avenue used to be
so much more fun. How great would it be if it had stayed like it used to be?' But it didn't. So when the 18+ party in the 18+ lounge was happening with all of the
old members, we wanted to preserve the memory. No offense but going back to a... mixed society didn't sound like that much fun. So we decided to, like I said, preserve the memory of the old 667. By never having to go back to the new 667. By killing everyone. Including ourselves. We were really drunk when we decided it."
It was quiet for a moment, but then- "D'ohhhh, we can't stay mad at you guys," Tragedy said, and everyone agreed. "How were you going to do it, though?"
"We found a book in the library that said if you drink and smoke a lot during a full moon, then you can end the world. We found this special pressure gauge thing that told us when we were about to blow. We can't of actually caused the apocalypse though. Trag never lit the last cigar to set the whole thing off."
"So that means it was either Countess Violet or Sophie," Pen said.
"Countess Violet," everyone said in unison again.
"Well I mean I tried so maybe," she said.
Charlie Snicket spoke up. "The book Dante gave me said that if someone translated a religious follower's reading's of their scriptures into an alien language while sacrificing twins during a full moon, their God and also aliens would come to earth and kill everyone. So. There's that."
"Yeahhhh," said Countess Violet. "Yeahhhhh I did that. I managed to hang under the balcony right outside here actually," she said, pointing to the balcony outside of the 18+ lounge. "I was actually trying to climb up it and get inside that way because you guys won't let me in the front door anymore. Then LSWannabe, who I knew spoke Klingon, and Linda, who I knew spoke Mormon, just came right over. I grabbed them one by one and threw them through the window into the room one floor under us. By the way I broke that window. Anyway, since it was such a good person-snatching place, I just hung there until Songbird and Songdrib came over, then I took them all down to the basement."
"BUT WE AREN'T EVEN TWINS YOU DINGUS," yelled Songdrib.
"BUT YOUR NAMES ARE SO SIMILAR!"
"Quiet!" yelled Tragedy. "So... since you just kind of left on your own last time, I don't really know what to do with you. Do you live somewhere now? Are you homeless? I feel like you're homeless. I mean... you can stay here I guess and just take the punishment or whatever."
"Oh," said Countess Violet. "Hey, uh, Songbird, what's the punishment for trying to cause the apocalypse?"
Everyone looked at Songbird. "Well," she said, "uhm, six months community service?" Songbird was thinking. She paused. "But... BUT potato THE RULES." Everyone gasped. "FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, potato THE RULES. I'M JUST GOING TO SAY THAT THE PUNISHMENT FOR YOU IS WHATEVER ANYONE WANTS IT TO BE." After a second of silence, everyone began to cheer. Eventually it died down.
"Oh," said Countess Violet once it got quiet again. "I'll just go then." Countess Violet ran outside and jumped off of the balcony. Songbird chased after her and yelled at her from over the railing, but she had disappeared.
"BUT WHY DID SHE DO IT?" yelled Songdrib. Everyone laughed. "NO LIKE REALLY I STILL DON'T KNOW WHO SHE IS."
"Wait a minute..." said Rellim. "Since bird and drib aren't twins, then that means..."
"It couldn't have been Countess Violet!" exclaimed Shelly.
"IT WAS SOPHIE!" Pandora yelled. The crowd started getting angry and began to yell while Sophie just shrank back into her seat, alone on the platform. Tragedy was staring at the floor again.
"Why Sophie? And how?" Bee asked in disbelief. Sophie didn't say anything.
"I can't say why, but I can say how." Sixteen stood up from the crowd. "She made me help her. I... I wouldn't have done it if I had known what it was for... but she made me. She told me I had to come with her and get... get sheep meat from the barn. On the way outside, Sophie ran into Anka and gave her a recipe for a lamb Shepard's pie. I had no idea what it was for. Then we went out to the barn and she made me..." Sixteen winced at this point. "She made me kill my sheep and collect their meat. And then she just ate a piece of it, raw, like an animal. She made me take a bagful of it to Anka for the pie. I had no idea that the pie was actually a... a..."
"
Nuclear weapon that's so strong that you can end the world with it," Dante finished for him, remembering from the book.
"Exactly," confirmed Sixteen.
There was silence, and Sixteen sat back down. Sophie squirmed in her seat for a second, but then remained still, with her eyes on the floor, clearly disturbed.
"Wow..." said Shelly. "How can you justify this Sophie?" People began to murmur in agreed wonderment, but it quickly escalated into yelling.
"WHY?" shouted Bee.
"HOW COULD YOU?" exclaimed Rellim.
"MAGEE!" yelled Pandora.
Bryan looked up at Tragedy again, who was still staring at the ground. Until-
"STOP!" he shouted. Everyone became silent again. "I told her to do it."
Everyone gasped. Sophie looked up at Tragedy, surprised. "Yes. I
made her do it."
"But... but why?" asked Shelly.
"Ohhhhh. Ha. You know me. Always doing wacky things to keep this apartment building busy. It's silly. Haha. Ha." No one said anything. "I brought you all back anyway so why do you even care. Besides... at least I wasn't driven to it by all of you." Everyone looked confused. "Just because Sophie- and I- succeeded doesn't mean we're the only ones who meant to." Tragedy walked onto the platform in front of the line of chairs. "Think about it. Willis and BSam!... okay maybe they're bad examples. Maybe they felt the new members were... mean?" Willis shook his head. "Okay they're bad examples. Countess Violet... maybe she deserved it. But think about everyone else. Why did Lucas do what he did? Because you all tormented him about K-Pop. You just kept saying things when you could have just left it alone if you didn't like it. Why did Mister MD do what
he did? Because of your constant taunting him about Bee. You could have kindly turned him down once and left it alone, but noooo, you guys don't know how to let things go. And these aren't the only times this has happened. Maybe..." Tragedy paused, "maybe you should all just be nicer. To everyone. We don't
ever want anything like this happening again, so... maybe we should all just let go of or collective hard feelings."
Tragedy paused and waited. No one made any move to apologize. "Fine then," he said. "I'll start." Tragedy turned around, sat down on a chair, and faced Sophie. "Sophie," Tragedy said, pausing. "Sophie I just want to say that I am
truly sorry. I didn't mean to start all of this. Things just really got... out of hand. I just hope we can
all forget about this. So like I said, I'm sorry. For making you cause the Apocalypse I mean.
"Yeah no I got that," she said. "I'm... I'm sorry too. Really."
"Awww," everyone said. Then, slowly but surely, people started to apologize to each other left and right.
"I'm sorry I was so... abrupt. Calling you creepy and all, over and over again Mister MD," said Bee.
"I'm sorry for saying K-Pop was terrible," Pen said.
"I'm sorry for that too," said Tryina.
"I'm sorry I tried to kill you all for like basically no reason," said BSam!.
"I'm never sorry," said Pandora.
This lasted all day. Despite having tried to kill everyone, Mister MD, Lucas, Willis, BSam!, and even Sophie were giving and receiving compliments and apologies. Everyone had done some kind of wrong to someone else at 667. Others just handled it in different ways. Everyone could tell that nobody at 667 would do anything else like this again. Willis even wrote a sign that said, "The Kindness Room," and hung it outside on the door of the 18+ lounge.
Tragedy looked around gleefully at what was happening. Love spread throughout the apartment building that day. A light snow began to fall once again, and the building's interior was still cheerfully decorated. Tragedy decided that he shouldn't let this party go to waste. Everyone went to the main hall together and lined up the tables. People lit candles and placed them carefully around the room. Lady Grantham... didn't cook anything else because the kitchen was still destroyed, but she
did order takeout.
"Wait," said Bryan, sitting at the table. "There's still one thing. How did I survive the apocalypse?"
"Oh," said Dante. "Probably because you were dead already. You can't die again."
"You know what I just realized?" Tragedy asked everyone. "Everyone else in the world is probably really confused right now."
Snow fell on 667 Dark Avenue, and it covered up the tracks of everyone from the building just like this dinner was covering up the mindset of everyone from the previous night. The apocalypse had happened, but not even that could destroy 667 Dark Avenue.
~