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Post by ballplayingpirate on Nov 10, 2013 16:20:08 GMT -5
Dear Inhabitants of 667 Dark Avenue, While I was taking a dreary car trip with nothing better to do I unfortunately came up with a horrible ASOUE game called:To my Kind Editor. The 'orrible objective of the game is to come up with a way for Lemony Snicket's Editor to get LS's new manuscript. Example: To my kind editor, Next Wednesday host a dinner party. Invite AZ to it. At 9 o'clock pass round after-dinner mints. When you get the box again it should have the hiding place of the manuscript typed on it. Remember you are my last hope the tale of the Baudelaire orphans can be told to the general public, Lemony Snicket. I cannot imagine why you would want to play these wretched game but anyway... Emma(ballplayingpirate)
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Post by Charlie on Nov 20, 2013 5:31:47 GMT -5
To my kind editor,
The weekend after you receive this, go to the house three doors up from you. Prise up the floorboard, and remove the manuscript hidden there. After reading, burn it.
With All Due Respect, Lemony Snicket
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Post by Vehement Volunteer on Jun 11, 2014 8:40:23 GMT -5
To my kind editor, Last thursday leave work precisely at the time you are dismissed and take the number four bus three stops, the number three four stops and the number thirty-four forty-three stops. When you arrive you should be on a street with several houses and some trees. Take off one shoe and replace it forty-three times, this is the signal. Then walk to the corner of the street where a taxi is not waiting for you so as not to attract attention. Walk back to the bus stop and get on the next bus which should be the number fifty-six unless our enemies have intercepted it, in which case it will be the number sixty-five, displaying the number fifty-six to trick us. Under no circumstances should you get on a number sixty-five bus. Once on the bus buy a ticket and ask the driver for sugar with your ticket. If we have been successful he will reply with the phrase "this may just be the bus you're looking for" and if we have not been successful and he has been replaced by one of our enemies he will reply with the exact same phrase because he has learned our plans. Go to the top deck of the bus where a parcel is waiting stuck with gum to the bottom of the front seat containing a large and conspicuous pair of scissors. Proceed to the back of the bus without letting the other passengers see these and use them to rip open the middle back seat. Throw the stuffing from the seat all over the bus and attract as much attention as possible, this will cause a distraction while on the other side of town I go to the post office and post my manuscript to my publishers. Remember, you are my fifth-to-last hope after the post office, delivery van, car and carrier snake that the tale of the Baudelaires can finally be told the general public. With most of the due respect,
$£^qhiehe$%Ui4eiarngw4y3
Lemony Snicket
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Post by Tryina Denouement on Jun 12, 2014 10:40:12 GMT -5
To My Kind Editor,
Next week, take the double decker bus at midday exactly and ask the bus driver for the tickets you will need for the next destination. Go to the theater and watch Romeo and Juliet, then retrieve the stack of papers sewn inside your seat. Inside you will find the accounts of a certain Earl Phantomhive and his involvements with the British V.F.D branch.
With all due respect, Tryina Valeriene Denouement
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Post by Vehement Volunteer on Jun 13, 2014 3:44:21 GMT -5
To my kind editor,
Write the book yourself, make it good, publish it in my name.
With all due respect,
Lem. The Lem. Le Snicket Le Snick The Snick The Snack Lemony "The Snack" Snicket LS
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Post by Tryina Denouement on Jul 15, 2014 10:46:21 GMT -5
To my kind Editor,
This game shall be resurrected again from the dead. May your document-collecting be blessed.
With all due respect, Tryina Valeriene Denouement
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Post by villainlana on May 31, 2015 7:01:25 GMT -5
To my kind editor,
I'll send you later on whatsapp,
bless,
Lemony Snicket
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Post by Tryina Denouement on Jun 3, 2015 13:02:42 GMT -5
To My Kind Editor,
I'm really sorry for the fact that I have no time to arrange for difficult instructions for my book. As you know, I'm working on a teen novella that would establish my credibility in Indonesia's children and teenage literature for quite some time. Can you just message me on my LINE or, better yet, just DM me on IG?
With all due respect, T.Denouement
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Post by Vehement Volunteer on Jun 4, 2015 18:08:20 GMT -5
To my kind Lemony Snicket, I'm sick of this. I'd just got home from the underwater rendezvous where I collected the manuscript entitled "The Dictionary", which frankly looked somewhat plagiarized, when this latest fax arrived. Really these manuscript deliveries are so time consuming that I'm not able to do anything else. I'm behind on my tax returns and I have no time to write my own versions of your letters on 667 dark avenue. Please stop with these ridiculous tasks or I shall be forced to write to you again in a less cordial tone.
With all due respect,
Editor.
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Post by Esmé's meme is meh on Jun 15, 2015 16:10:09 GMT -5
To my kind Editor-in-Chief,
I went to The Giant Dwarf Café and met a woman who seemed pleased to see me. I didn't recognise her until she said the secret code to identify members of our noble organization (and by that I mean she said "Hi, I work in the desk next to you!"). After talking about my new haircut and her old dentures, she told me about the content of the article I'm sending you printed in toilet paper. It includes the whereabouts of Klyde Madelaine and his cousin Veronica, authors of so many crimes I don't want to even think about. In it, you'll discover how the Madelaines tried to kill the noble Count Omar and her marvelous sister Esmé using a handkerchief and a piano, while their little fox terrier Bunny intended to build a house with carrots. If you go to the bathroom of your office and pull the chain several times, you'll flood the whole place, so please don't do that. Also, in your desk I left a note with the number of my hair stylist.
With all due respect,
Geraldine Julienne (Star Reporter)
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