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Post by Isadora Is a Door on May 11, 2014 13:56:31 GMT -5
now that this is over i really appreciate it more. Awesome job bandit!
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Post by penne on May 11, 2014 14:03:31 GMT -5
I appreciate the thought, Terry. I do not appreciate Liz' acceptance of the book she couldn't care less about and apparently doesn't know, since it wasn't even out during Big Brother. YOU'RE THINKING OF WCTBATH, ELIZABETH. It's just sad to me that people like Liz get their way in this world and looking back on my lessons in The School of Life, I should have seen this coming. I guess a pretty face gets you a long way!
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Post by Poe's Coats Host Toast on May 11, 2014 14:40:38 GMT -5
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Post by Linda Rhaldeen on May 11, 2014 14:48:50 GMT -5
I appreciate the thought, Terry. I do not appreciate Liz' acceptance of the book she couldn't care less about and apparently doesn't know, since it wasn't even out during Big Brother. YOU'RE THINKING OF WCTBATH, ELIZABETH. It's just sad to me that people like Liz get their way in this world and looking back on my lessons in The School of Life, I should have seen this coming. I guess a pretty face gets you a long way! Is that your roundabout way of saying you want the book?
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Post by Rellim on May 11, 2014 14:50:41 GMT -5
Oh shush drama queen. You can have it when I'm finished except we both know you'd never let me send it. It's no secret that I do not follow the books at all so I'm not ashamed of my mistake. I guess I'll just have to go to the library in the time in takes the book to arrive.
No, Linda, it's his round about way of sabotaging my every source of happiness. THIS IS NOTHING NEW, HE'S AN AWFUL AND BITTER PERSON WHO HAS NEVER LOVED ME.
If you want drama, Fredy, I will give you drama.
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Post by Hermes on May 11, 2014 15:25:38 GMT -5
Oh shush drama queen. You can have it when I'm finished except we both know you'd never let me send it. It's no secret that I do not follow the books at all so I'm not ashamed of my mistake. I guess I'll just have to go to the library in the time in takes the book to arrive. If you mean that you'll need to read the other books first, it's actually perfectly possible to start with File Under, and in fact it seems to be devised as a way into the series.
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Post by Rellim on May 11, 2014 16:12:20 GMT -5
Oh, perfect. I'm excited to start reading. Don't let me down, Bandit!
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Post by penne on May 11, 2014 17:27:43 GMT -5
Oh shush drama queen. You can have it when I'm finished except we both know you'd never let me send it. It's no secret that I do not follow the books at all so I'm not ashamed of my mistake. I guess I'll just have to go to the library in the time in takes the book to arrive. No, Linda, it's his round about way of sabotaging my every source of happiness. THIS IS NOTHING NEW, HE'S AN AWFUL AND BITTER PERSON WHO HAS NEVER LOVED ME. If you want drama, Fredy, I will give you drama. All I want is for everyone to see the real Liz and it looks like I succeeded. Take a good look, guys! Cause it's the last time!
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Post by bandit on Jun 21, 2014 23:39:57 GMT -5
Your sometimes-faithful anonymous host will admit that, while the original plan was to delay the Bandies so his right hand man could finish up school, the event eventually fell by the wayside and was forgotten about. Let us now turn to Luke 5:8, where Jesus is most likely the one speaking: “A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path; it was trampled on, and the birds ate it up." This passage shows us that the Bandies fell by the wayside and was forgotten about, although someone may volunteer to be the birds eating it up, if they so desire. In the meantime, we may also view the following telegram as evidence, which was dated 6.21.14 at 11:26pm, sent from the anonymous host to the anonymous right hand man. The message reads: "Oh salsa, I totally forgot about the Bandies STOP You should probably do something about that before people start to frame me as some sort of idiot FULL STOP" This telegram proves not only that technology is an amazing thing, as it has come so far that nineteenth century devices now have the ability to fully replace words in a sentence with other words, but it also shatters the previous public image of dignity and pretentiousness onto which the anonymous host had so dearly clung. Furthermore, the anonymous host's left hand man asserts that he will soon be quitting his job, citing handedness discrimination in the workplace. The right hand man, who, upon the left hand man's resignation, was heedlessly thrown money at and sent to a much fancier office with a private bathroom and three slot machines, stands by his higher-up pampering as merely acknowledgement of his good work, which includes "informing the public about the Bandies starting." When asked for further evidence to support the claim that this good work was actually worked and was indeed good, he pointed whoever was talking to him in the general direction of a handmade sign, rolled up and squirreled away in his private bathroom. Upon further inspection the sign was confirmed to have read: THE BANDIES ARE STARTING TOMORROW! WOO!!
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Post by Rellim on Jun 22, 2014 0:28:15 GMT -5
Another Bandies so soon? Are we really so lucky?
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Post by soufflé on Jun 22, 2014 12:55:52 GMT -5
Swiggity swag
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Post by The Duchess on Jun 22, 2014 20:08:33 GMT -5
This time, we are prepared
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Post by bandit on Jun 22, 2014 20:54:31 GMT -5
Before we start, I'd like to address some misconceptions using things I've already said, but which seem to have been looked over. from 17 May to 31 December in the year of 2014 In other words, the previous 15 pages of this thread were not the Bandies. Disappointment is the inception of man's greatest despair!
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Post by The Duchess on Jun 22, 2014 21:11:57 GMT -5
Ha
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Post by bandit on Jun 23, 2014 0:43:52 GMT -5
Some years ago, when jaw clamps were still an acceptable form of crowd control, I took a visit to the neighbor's house two blocks away, under the pretense of borrowing some sugar. However, this neighbor's mother was away for the weekend and therefore the idea of attaining sugar on our own-- by any means-- was of course rather outlandish. In actuality we were in the process of a covert operation of sorts, what one might call a coup d'état. No, you have not misread: we were truly making the bold attempt to get our hands on an original copy of the so-titled 1982 Plasmatics album, which contained a fair share of obscene lyrics and substandard vocals. By means of creating an Exhibit A, let us listen to one track titled "The Damned": The song itself is not worth much comment, but on that particular day, sitting there listening to it on the stereo with my neighbor beside me after ages of hard work and determination, there was a sudden screech and the CD player caught on fire. While the lead singer was admittedly a bit over the top, I did not think this could be the sole cause of such a violet reaction on the machine's part. After wrenching open the melted and malformed lid of the player, I found the compact disc itself perfectly intact, save for one word scorched onto the bottom of it-- presumably the electronic device's handiwork. It read: MELCHIZEDEK Could this mean something? No, I decided, and left it at that. But ten years later, while I was riding my bicycle home at 11pm from a draining day at the gas station, I received a cell phone call from an unidentified number. "Hello?" I answered as I biked one-handed down the street in the dark with no blinkers, which is an extraordinarily unsafe thing to do. "You're going to die," whispered a raspy voice on the other end, "because I'm going to kill you." The voice then promptly hung up, and I was just about to call the police (while still biking, which is an extraordinarily unsafe thing to do) when a song started playing out of the receiver on its own accord. Could this really be happening? My mind flashed back to that one word. MELCHIZEDEK. I put the phone to my ear and listened. Yes, it was the beautiful yet largely undiscovered techno track "Operator", which I had just been listening to a week earlier. Could this mean something? No, I decided, and left it at that. But when I called the police and told them about my haunting call, they went deeply silent. "I'm afraid to tell ya this, son," came the gruff voice of the police chief after he agreed to trace the call, "but we traced this call of yours to a fast-moving bicycle going down Stewart Road, downtown." Despite the fact that phone-tracing obviously does not work this way in the slightest, I looked up in the dark and squinted at the street sign I had just passed by (which meant that I had to crane my head backwards and take my eyes off the road, which is an extraordinarily unsafe thing to do). It read: MELCHIZEDEK No, no, I'm sorry, I got all mixed up there for a moment. It read: STEWART ROAD I screamed and reached down to shove my cell phone in my pocket in disgust (and hang up on the police, which is an extraordinarily unsafe thing to do) when I felt a cold little hand grab my wrist. Shifting my feet on the pedals, I also came to the spine-tingling realization that there was a small body clinging onto the bicycle support bars below me, and I now saw a terrifying face that looked up at me with glowing eyes and a Cheshire Cat grin. "I'm going to kill you," it repeated in that raspy voice. It opened its mouth wide, inhaled deeply, and a certain song began to blare out into the open air, so loud it nearly made my eardrums burst, coming from some sort of naturally occurring speaker system inside the little man. "What is your name?!" I shouted at the top of my lungs over the music, and the man suddenly went quiet. "Melchizedek," he whispered in a raspy voice, and at that moment I crashed into a truck and nearly died, because I wasn't paying attention to the road at all. Seven months later I was near recovery, although I would likely never walk again. Trying to get my spirits up in the hospital after a long day of poking and prodding on the doctors' part, I decided to surf the web. But I noticed a strange thing upon visiting my favorite online forum, 667 Dark Avenue. There was a certain person, going by a certain username, which caught my eye, and my spine tingled once again as I thought back to that night with the man. MELCHIZEDEK He was making these posts, and pretending to be this man, but he was not fooling anyone who had experienced his kind in the past. I will leave no cliffhangers in this exposé, however: I'm talking about the British one. Yes, Hermes, or so he claims to be. These names, they both contain the letter M, and while there is not too much in common apart from this, we've all seen criminals who have their peculiar fetishes. Next we'll be seeing him using anagrams and tattooing eyes all over his body. These personal misgivings, however, are beside the point. Hermes, the anonymous host has awarded you with the year's Bandies award for "Best One Word Username"! In the running were Dante and Pen, although Dante was eventually rejected because his original registered name was not Dante, and Pen was rejected because his display name isn't Pen as often as my tastes would like it to be. Above is a banner that you may put in your signature, if you so choose. The same goes for any future winners in the Bandies 2014, although I seem to have made a typo with the word "award" there. Sorry about that.
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