Part Nine - Bandit's Heart Grew Three Sizes That Day
youtu.be/jRiZRMLGjCYLEMONA (voiceover):
As it got later and later and their host became engrossed in his new creation, the guests began to leave one by one. But Bandit and Teleram, having been led to separate rooms to spend the night, were too apprehensive to relax.
(Cut to BANDIT's room.)
BANDIT (pacing the floor):
Who are these people? Why won't they let us go? Maybe I just go find Teleram and-
ZORTEGUS (disguising his voice to sound like TELERAM's):
Bandit? Bandit, is that you?
BANDIT:
Yes, it is! I was just about to go out and look for you! Listen, storm or no storm I'm tired of these people. I think we should get out of here.
ZORTEGUS (voice still disguised):
Surely you don't mean that, you're just stressed out. Here, I'll help relax you...
(ZORTEGUS begins to massage BANDIT's shoulders. Everything is going well until..)
BANDIT (stiffening):
It's you!
ZORTEGUS:
Why yes, yes it is!
BANDIT:
What have you done with Teleram?
ZORTEGUS:
Nothing. Why, do you think I should?
BANDIT:
No, no, just, I thought you were him! You tricked me!
ZORTEGUS:
Oh come on, you know you enjoyed it. You're just so tense! Come on, let me give you a full body massage.
BANDIT:
Oh, all right. Just don't tell Teleram. Getting a massage from another guy is kinda gay, he'd never let me live it down.
(ZORTEGUS stares pointedly at BANDIT's engagement ring and snorts with laughter.)
ZORTEGUS:
OK, I won't if you won't.
(Cut to SOPHIE and TERRY, both wearing earplugs and sneaking up on COMET in the library, SOPHIE positioning a portable speaker near COMET's ear.)
SOPHIE (mouthing):
Ready?
(TERRY, holding an iPhone, nods silently and then presses a button on the screen. Loud music begins blasting out, causing COMET to jump up in fear and bump his head on a bookshelf. Whimpering, he runs away into the maze of hallway, SOPHIE and TERRY cackling in glee.)
(Cut to TELERAM's room.)
TELERAM (pacing the floor):
Oh dear, we should have never gone on this journey tonight! This is all my fault. Maybe I should go find Bandit and-
ZORTEGUS (disguising his voice to sound like BANDIT's):
Teleram? Teleram, is that you?
TELERAM:
Yes, it is! I was just about to go look for you! I'm not sure I want to stay here any longer, I should have listened to you in the first place.
ZORTEGUS (voice still disguised):
No, you were right the first time, we should stay till morning. Here, I'll help relax you...
(ZORTEGUS begins massaging TELERAM's shoulders. Everything is going well until...)
TELERAM (stiffening):
It's you!
ZORTEGUS:
Yes.
TELERAM:
What have you done with Bandit?
ZORTEGUS:
Nothing. Why, do you think I should?
TELERAM:
No, of course not! I thought you were him. You tricked me!
ZORTEGUS:
Too much stress will do all sorts of things to your perception. You need to relax! Let me give you a full body massage.
TELERAM:
Just a massage? Is that, like a euphemism?
ZORTEGUS (laughing):
No, aren't you like 14?
TELERAM:
16!
ZORTEGUS:
Still, you're quite a bit younger. No, just the massage.
TELERAM:
That would be nice...
TERRY:
Lord Zortegus, Comet has gone missing from the library.
ZORTEGUS (annoyed):
Can't you see I'm busy? I'll go look for him in a bit.
(Cut to BANDIT, who is getting restless again.)
BANDIT:
Where is everyone?
(BANDIT goes wandering the halls. He eventually comes to a stop when he reaches a large dark room, lit by the glow of an enormous television monitor, which shows a view of his bedroom. After a few seconds the picture switches to another room.)
BANDIT:
Ok...that's more than a little creepy. All the more reason to get out of here. Though, if I can figure out how this works...
(BANDIT begans fiddling with the dials and discovers how to change the screen. He begins flipping between rooms, until he finds TELERAM, who of course is with ZORTEGUS. BANDIT gasps, then stalks off angrily.)
BANDIT (muttering under his breath):
Why that cheating little...oh hey, it's you!
(He has come upon COMET in the hallway. COMET whimpers and points to a goose egg forming on his head.)
BANDIT:
Poor guy. You didn't ask to be brought into this world by that weirdo. Come here...
(Cut to the monitoring room, where COMET and BANDIT are in full view on the screen. SOPHIE, peeking inside, snorts and gestures to TRIP in the hallway to come join her in her voyeurism.)
LEMONA (voiceover):
Stress, fear of a strange place, jealousy...it was unclear which of these it was that had caused it - or perhaps a combination of all three -but something had awakened in Bandit, and Sophie and Trip were there to see it all...
SOPHIE AND TRIP:
Tell us about it, Bandit.
BANDIT:
I was feeling upset
Couldn't get
Past all the mental blocks before
TRIP:
You mean he?
SOPHIE:
Uh huh
BANDIT:
I hid behind name-calling
Made myself so galling
Pushed back my inner feelings
How appalling
Now I am feeling free
I want to be
More than the guy I was before
SOPHIE AND TRIP:
More, more, more!
BANDIT:
I'll try to see your view
And open up to you
Let's get to know each other
Me and you
Let's take down the shields we're wearing
I'll learn to be caring
When I'm done you'll be swearing
I can treat you right
Later, as we repose
I'll hold you close
I'll build you up,
Not put you down
SOPHIE AND TRIP:
Down, down, down!
BANDIT:
I know you've had your share of
Pain, yes I'm aware of
All, don't worry you'll be
Taken care of
Let's take down the shields we're wearing
I'll learn to be caring
When I'm done you'll be swearing
I can treat you right
TRIP:
Let's take down the shields we're wearing
SOPHIE:
I'll learn to be caring
TRIP:
When I'm done you'll be swearing
SOPHIE:
I can treat you right
BANDIT:
Let's take down the shields we're wearing
I'll learn to be caring
When I'm done you'll be swearing
I can treat you right
COMET:
I can treat you right
TELERAM:
I can treat you right?
ZORTEGUS:
I can treat you right
SOPHIE:
I can treat you right
TERRY:
I can treat you right
TRIP:
I can treat you right
COMET:
I can treat you right
BANDIT:
I can treat you right