Post by Isadora Is a Door on Dec 12, 2016 12:32:14 GMT -5
A 667 Christmas Story
(of varying quality)
By Mister M, with some assistance from Anka
Chapter 1
Once upon a time, in a land far far away, where people never sleep, there was a terrible travesty occouring. A Woman with nails as sharp as her wit, and banner making ability as expectional as her eloquent rounding up of penthouse events, had found herself down-trodden and desitute. She had once been a normal person, going about her everyday normal life, when suddenly she had found herself raised, like a baby lion, high up into the air. And also into a position of power. She had become admin of a once-great institution known to those who frequent its tainted exsistence as 'six six seven'. She had enjoyed a brief but (in the opinion of this incredibly biased author) triumphant reign. Her triumphs included creating a sub-board for a well respected magazine, appointing one of 667s most intrepid (and handsome) members as moderator, and changing the username box to the colour green. Which is a good colour. But then suddenly, everything changed. She was thrown out, replaced by someone much younger and (apparently) more beautiful, and she found herself homeless, forced to wander the streets, stealing boomerangs, eating koalas, and spending nights curled up in kangaroo pouches. Her nails broke, and so did her good humour. She became miserable, depressed, fat, and lonely.
And so, when our story begins on December 24th, she was hardly in the christmas spirit. It doesn't snow in the summer, so even though its tempting to picture christmas eve as being snowy, it doesn't make sense. This is very hard for the author to create a christmassy image. However, to my luck, she also suffered from terrible dandruff, so as she stole a few shrimps off a barbecue, and lasoosed a kangroo to sleep in (I can't think of any better way to capture a kangaroo, myself) the mountains of dandruff which erupted from her hair looked like snow as it settled on the ground. But, despite this, Lemona did not feel christmassy. She had lost so much this last year, there was nothing to be happy about. She had risen so high, and fallen so far. She was about to climb into the kangaroo's pouch when suddenly, she heard a noise of sleigh bells behind her. She turned around.
A Man was standing there, with a beard as long as....umm...with a beard as long as a waterfall of hair. He was wearing a red shirt, long white trousers, and big black boots. He had a huge sack (out of context quote) slung over his shoulder, and was waring a paper hat with the words 'I'm Santa Claus' on it. Lemona was taken aback to see such a strange person standing there, so she threw a boomerang at him. She missed, and got hit in the face. 'Ho Ho Ho' so the man 'and all that.' He emptied his sack there and then, and gave Lemona a present. 'I must be off' he said, 'you're only the first person on my list. Hope you like the present.' To Lemona's astonishment, he lept aboard the kangaroo and rode it off into the horizon. Lemona was so shocked that she forgot that she was holding a present until she remebered. She opened it, and was disappointed to find it was a jar of marmite. Ah well, at least she could put it on the koalas.
(of varying quality)
By Mister M, with some assistance from Anka
Chapter 1
Once upon a time, in a land far far away, where people never sleep, there was a terrible travesty occouring. A Woman with nails as sharp as her wit, and banner making ability as expectional as her eloquent rounding up of penthouse events, had found herself down-trodden and desitute. She had once been a normal person, going about her everyday normal life, when suddenly she had found herself raised, like a baby lion, high up into the air. And also into a position of power. She had become admin of a once-great institution known to those who frequent its tainted exsistence as 'six six seven'. She had enjoyed a brief but (in the opinion of this incredibly biased author) triumphant reign. Her triumphs included creating a sub-board for a well respected magazine, appointing one of 667s most intrepid (and handsome) members as moderator, and changing the username box to the colour green. Which is a good colour. But then suddenly, everything changed. She was thrown out, replaced by someone much younger and (apparently) more beautiful, and she found herself homeless, forced to wander the streets, stealing boomerangs, eating koalas, and spending nights curled up in kangaroo pouches. Her nails broke, and so did her good humour. She became miserable, depressed, fat, and lonely.
And so, when our story begins on December 24th, she was hardly in the christmas spirit. It doesn't snow in the summer, so even though its tempting to picture christmas eve as being snowy, it doesn't make sense. This is very hard for the author to create a christmassy image. However, to my luck, she also suffered from terrible dandruff, so as she stole a few shrimps off a barbecue, and lasoosed a kangroo to sleep in (I can't think of any better way to capture a kangaroo, myself) the mountains of dandruff which erupted from her hair looked like snow as it settled on the ground. But, despite this, Lemona did not feel christmassy. She had lost so much this last year, there was nothing to be happy about. She had risen so high, and fallen so far. She was about to climb into the kangaroo's pouch when suddenly, she heard a noise of sleigh bells behind her. She turned around.
A Man was standing there, with a beard as long as....umm...with a beard as long as a waterfall of hair. He was wearing a red shirt, long white trousers, and big black boots. He had a huge sack (out of context quote) slung over his shoulder, and was waring a paper hat with the words 'I'm Santa Claus' on it. Lemona was taken aback to see such a strange person standing there, so she threw a boomerang at him. She missed, and got hit in the face. 'Ho Ho Ho' so the man 'and all that.' He emptied his sack there and then, and gave Lemona a present. 'I must be off' he said, 'you're only the first person on my list. Hope you like the present.' To Lemona's astonishment, he lept aboard the kangaroo and rode it off into the horizon. Lemona was so shocked that she forgot that she was holding a present until she remebered. She opened it, and was disappointed to find it was a jar of marmite. Ah well, at least she could put it on the koalas.