Post by Cafe SalMONAlla on May 20, 2017 21:21:00 GMT -5
Five organisers walk into a bar but only one of them is organised enough to survive the night.
Linda Rhaldeen was there to finalise plans for buying a temporary group home to fill with innocent participants, but before she could get back to writing her latest groundbreaking piece of musical theatre, Geru Tosz whacked her over the head with a copy of The Theory and Practice of Oligarchical Collectivism. She had one vote and will be fondly remembered.
Zort and the next two people got the same number of votes (3), but I’m killing them off in reverse alphabetical order just so I could make the above reference. Willis stealthily interrupted Zort’s reread-orchestrating, IMDB-fooling and whatever it is he does on Facebook to brutally silence him with some fruit.
Sadly Zortegus didn’t have 16 tons on hand, but Gamla Anka had been quietly observing Willis and his techniques of arousing wrath amongst the masses in an organised way by bringing their food opinions to ghastly light. She was primarily confused at being here for organising this very event, making her, in effect, the reason for these grisly happenings. However she also decided to kill B(W)ill(is), for being notorious. Oops wrong category.
In a final dramatic literary moment, You Look Lost , who had been dicking around in the background all this time, threw a poison dart at his poison dartboard without looking, tragically prodding his dear Anka because we’re all Snicket fans here (except for Pepper) and we’re manly enough to cope with sorrowful endings.
More tragically still, Mister M, hard-working outgoing editor of our leading publication, survived the night with six votes. I would congratulate him but he refused to do so for me earlier so everyone else should instead.
Okay so im presenting best pairing, which is great, because as i may have mentioned before i love emma by jane austen and wanna emulate her as i grow older, and pairing is literally her thing so yay!
The losers of this award with no votes are Dante and Hermes. LAME GUYS. These results reflect what shoulda been clear to everyone, they have ZERO chemistry, and also zero votes.
Beth and Freebird next runners up with a sneaky one vote .
Pepper and bear the bromigos we all secretly worship came in next, TYING with the tom and jerry couple we love to fear trip and zort!! Tbh pepbear were robbed, but that's ok!
Zortegus and comet came in next place, which like makes no sense ive never seen em even interact, unless they're secretly makin out behind the scenes, which im just gonna imagine to make this a plausible result
Obvi it wasnt gonna be linda and teleram, gross what a friccin terrible pairing whoever nominated them should be shot.
YASSSSS the best aussie duo! Orange ya glad you won this award! As their nominator and their weird tagalong friend i just wanna say you guys soooooo deserve this!! Deffos best pair of tru blu aussie battlers ive ever met! Yasss!!! G R A T S
yay for us. we are currently doing a thing in celebration
When you look up the words 'best' and 'volunteer' in a dictionary, these are some of the definitions you might get:
Best (Adjective) 1. Of the most excellent, effective, or desirable type or quality. 1.1 Most enjoyable. 1.2 Most appropriate, advantageous, or well advised.
Volunteer (Noun) 1. A person who freely offers to take part in an enterprise or undertake a task. 1.1 A person who works for an organization without being paid. 1.2 A plant that has not been deliberately planted.
You've all voted for 667's most enjoyable plant that has not been deliberately planted - which seems to mean 'our favourite weed' - and the results speak not only for themselves, but for all of us (as polls are wont to do). Best Volunteer is a notorious award, humorously dubbed 'the Dante Award' by last year's presenter. I agree that this name is most appropriate, advantageous or well advised due to the moderator winning it not once, twice or thrice, but an astounding seven times. However, Dante did not win it last year, when he was overtaken by ryantrimble457 , and neither did he this year. Based on past statistics, the odds of Dante winning were just under 70%, so I, a person who works for an organization without being paid, thought I'd get this out of the way first to allow the rest of our contestants a little suspense before the winner is revealed. With all that said, let's take a look at the nominees of 2017:
I consider it an experience of the most excellent, effective, or desirable type or quality to get to tell you that three of these people got no votes at all; one person got a single one, one person got two, and one person got three. That makes, let's see... oh, six of our seven contestants! The seventh contenstant, I'm pleased to announce, won a landslide victory; if every other nominee added their votes together, and then doubled that number... well, then they would win, but only by a single vote! How impressive is that? I swear, this kind of result is why I freely offered to take part in an enterprise or undertake the task of presenting an award.
This year's Best Volunteer, with eleven votes, is:
Ryantrimble457! Congratulations on the two-year streak, which makes you the only non-Dante person to win the award more than once (and as we all know, being Dante is almost cheating, so that's impressive). You certainly fit every description of both 'best' and 'volunteer', except possibly the one about being a plant.