The Olaf Tango
Aug 7, 2017 1:49:51 GMT -5
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Cafe SalMONAlla, Violent BUN Fortuna, and 1 more like this
Post by Linda Rhaldeen on Aug 7, 2017 1:49:51 GMT -5
For those wondering about the Charlie and the Snicket Factory, no I didn't forget about it. The plan is to start writing again once Big Brother ends later this week. But in the meantime this little thing popped into my head:
SHAM: Mad
STEPHANO: Peru
DUPIN: Oops
GUNTHER: Yes
SHIRLEY: Sawblade
GENGHIS: Gym teacher
SHAM: Mad
STEPHANO: Peru
DUPIN: Oops
GUNTHER: Yes
SHIRLEY: Sawblade
GENGHIS: Gym teacher
SHAM: Mad
STEPHANO: Peru
DUPIN: Oops
GUNTHER: Yes
SHIRLEY: Sawblade
GENGHIS: Gym teacher
SHAM: Mad
STEPHANO: Peru
DUPIN: Oops
GUNTHER: Yes
SHIRLEY: Sawblade
GENGHIS: Gym teacher
SHAM: Mad
STEPHANO: Peru
DUPIN: Oops
GUNTHER: Yes
SHIRLEY: Sawblade
GENGHIS: Gym teacher
ALL:
They had it coming
They had it coming
They only had themselves to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
SHIRLEY:
I betcha you would have done the same!
SHAM: Mad
STEPHANO: Peru
DUPIN: Oops
GUNTHER: Yes
SHIRLEY: Sawblade
GENGHIS: Gym teacher
JULIO SHAM:
You know how people have these little habits that you just can't stand?
Like Josephine.
She was always correcting my grammar
It made me so mad!
So I was sailing one day, trying to catch some orphans and not having much luck at all
And there's Josephine, correcting my grammar with every sentence.
It was driving me mad!
So I said to her
I said, "you correct my grammar one more time..."
And she did
So I walked over to her and I pushed her
...into leech-infested water!
ALL:
She had it coming
She had it coming
She only had herself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have heard it
I betcha you would
Have done the same!
STEPHANO:
When I met Dr. Montgomery he told me his assistant had quit
So I agreed to be his new one
And we started living together.
He'd work on his research, I'd care for the orphans, then in the evening we'd all go to the movies.
It was like our own slice of heaven.
And then I found out he was heading to Peru and upending our happy family
When I complained about it he tore up my ticket
And said I was not invited
So that night, when the children were in bed, I paid him a visit
You know, some guys just can't hold their snake venom!
ALL:
Hah! He had it coming
He had it coming
He's interfering with my plot!
So he's a goner
Upon my honor
He'll see I give as good as I got!
Mad, Peru, oops, yes
Sawblade, gym teacher
DETECTIVE DUPIN:
Now, I'm in a new town
Looking for some orphans and minding my own business,
When in comes Jacques Snicket mad as a hornet.
"Leave the Baudelaires alone!" he says.
He was crazy!
And he kept yelling, "Leave the Baudelaires alone"
And then he ran into my syringe of poison
He ran so hard it emptied itself into his vein!
ALL:
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same!
GUNTHER:
Please be gentle
No speak good English please!
People please be wondering about what happened to previous doorman of 667 Dark Avenue, please
He is being found a week later stuffed in the elevator shaft with his head chopped off!
JULIO SHAM:
But did you do it?
GUNTHER:
Yes. (grins)
Guilty!
ALL:
He had it coming...
SHIRLEY:
Georgina and I had this double act as this eye doctor and her receptionist.
We were holed up in this dreary little town
Providing free optical care to some mill workers in exchange for some favors
Well, this one night we were out at the mill
the two of us, an orphan, and one of the owners
And the other two orphans show up to interfere
Georgina of course tries to stop the brats
But you know, I'd left the sawblade on
And I realized she'd outlived her usefulness...
While she kept them occupied I slipped away quietly
I didn't see a thing
It wasn't until later, when I saw the newspaper headlines, that I even knew she was dead.
She had it coming
She had it coming
She had it coming all along
I didn't do it
But if I'd done it
How could you tell me that I was wrong?
SHIRLEY: She had it coming
ALL: He had it coming
SHIRLEY: They had it coming
ALL: He had it coming
SHIRLEY: They had it coming
ALL: He's interfering
SHIRLEY: All along
ALL: With my plot
SHIRLEY: I didn't do it
ALL: So he's a goner
SHIRLEY: But if I'd done it
ALL: Upon my honor
SHIRLEY: How could you tell me
ALL: He'll see I give
SHIRLEY: That I was wrong?
ALL: As good as I got!
COACH GENGHIS:
I loved Miss Tench more than I can possibly say.
Ha, just kidding, I barely knew her
I knew a lot about her, though
She was the gym teacher at a school I used to go to
A school that was about to have some very special students
Some students I would kill to get closer to
And she had a habit of going out every night to run
The night I finally met her we discovered our fundamental disagreement
She saw herself as alive
...and I saw her dead!
ALL:
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum
SHAM, STEPHANO, GENGHIS: They had it comin'
DUPIN, GUNTHER, SHIRLEY: They had it comin'
SHAM, STEPHANO, GENGHIS: They had it comin'
DUPIN, GUNTHER, SHIRLEY: They had it comin'
SHAM, STEPHANO, GENGHIS: They had it comin'
DUPIN, GUNTHER, SHIRLEY: They had it comin'
SHAM, STEPHANO, GENGHIS: All along
DUPIN, GUNTHER, SHIRLEY: All along
SHAM, STEPHANO, GENGHIS: 'Cause they were goners
DUPIN, GUNTHER, SHIRLEY: 'Cause they were goners
SHAM, STEPHANO, GENGHIS: Upon our honors
DUPIN, GUNTHER, SHIRLEY: Upon our honors
SHAM, STEPHANO, GENGHIS: How could you tell us
DUPIN, GUNTHER, SHIRLEY: How could you tell us
SHAM, STEPHANO, GENGHIS: That we were wrong?
DUPIN, GUNTHER, SHIRLEY: That we were wrong?
ALL:
They had it coming
They had it coming
They only had themselves to blame.
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same!
SHAM: Correct my grammar one more time!
STEPHANO: Tore up my ticket
DUPIN: Emptied itself
GUNTHER: Head chopped off
SHIRLEY: Outlived her usefulness
GENGHIS: Fundamental disagreement
SHAM: Mad
STEPHANO: Peru
DUPIN: Oops
GUNTHER: Yes
SHIRLEY: Sawblade
GENGHIS: Gym teacher
SHAM: Mad
STEPHANO: Peru
DUPIN: Oops
GUNTHER: Yes
SHIRLEY: Sawblade
GENGHIS: Gym teacher
SHAM: Mad
STEPHANO: Peru
DUPIN: Oops
GUNTHER: Yes
SHIRLEY: Sawblade
GENGHIS: Gym teacher
SHAM: Mad
STEPHANO: Peru
DUPIN: Oops
GUNTHER: Yes
SHIRLEY: Sawblade
GENGHIS: Gym teacher
SHAM: Mad
STEPHANO: Peru
DUPIN: Oops
GUNTHER: Yes
SHIRLEY: Sawblade
GENGHIS: Gym teacher
SHAM: Mad
STEPHANO: Peru
DUPIN: Oops
GUNTHER: Yes
SHIRLEY: Sawblade
GENGHIS: Gym teacher
ALL:
They had it coming
They had it coming
They only had themselves to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
SHIRLEY:
I betcha you would have done the same!
SHAM: Mad
STEPHANO: Peru
DUPIN: Oops
GUNTHER: Yes
SHIRLEY: Sawblade
GENGHIS: Gym teacher
JULIO SHAM:
You know how people have these little habits that you just can't stand?
Like Josephine.
She was always correcting my grammar
It made me so mad!
So I was sailing one day, trying to catch some orphans and not having much luck at all
And there's Josephine, correcting my grammar with every sentence.
It was driving me mad!
So I said to her
I said, "you correct my grammar one more time..."
And she did
So I walked over to her and I pushed her
...into leech-infested water!
ALL:
She had it coming
She had it coming
She only had herself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have heard it
I betcha you would
Have done the same!
STEPHANO:
When I met Dr. Montgomery he told me his assistant had quit
So I agreed to be his new one
And we started living together.
He'd work on his research, I'd care for the orphans, then in the evening we'd all go to the movies.
It was like our own slice of heaven.
And then I found out he was heading to Peru and upending our happy family
When I complained about it he tore up my ticket
And said I was not invited
So that night, when the children were in bed, I paid him a visit
You know, some guys just can't hold their snake venom!
ALL:
Hah! He had it coming
He had it coming
He's interfering with my plot!
So he's a goner
Upon my honor
He'll see I give as good as I got!
Mad, Peru, oops, yes
Sawblade, gym teacher
DETECTIVE DUPIN:
Now, I'm in a new town
Looking for some orphans and minding my own business,
When in comes Jacques Snicket mad as a hornet.
"Leave the Baudelaires alone!" he says.
He was crazy!
And he kept yelling, "Leave the Baudelaires alone"
And then he ran into my syringe of poison
He ran so hard it emptied itself into his vein!
ALL:
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same!
GUNTHER:
Please be gentle
No speak good English please!
People please be wondering about what happened to previous doorman of 667 Dark Avenue, please
He is being found a week later stuffed in the elevator shaft with his head chopped off!
JULIO SHAM:
But did you do it?
GUNTHER:
Yes. (grins)
Guilty!
ALL:
He had it coming...
SHIRLEY:
Georgina and I had this double act as this eye doctor and her receptionist.
We were holed up in this dreary little town
Providing free optical care to some mill workers in exchange for some favors
Well, this one night we were out at the mill
the two of us, an orphan, and one of the owners
And the other two orphans show up to interfere
Georgina of course tries to stop the brats
But you know, I'd left the sawblade on
And I realized she'd outlived her usefulness...
While she kept them occupied I slipped away quietly
I didn't see a thing
It wasn't until later, when I saw the newspaper headlines, that I even knew she was dead.
She had it coming
She had it coming
She had it coming all along
I didn't do it
But if I'd done it
How could you tell me that I was wrong?
SHIRLEY: She had it coming
ALL: He had it coming
SHIRLEY: They had it coming
ALL: He had it coming
SHIRLEY: They had it coming
ALL: He's interfering
SHIRLEY: All along
ALL: With my plot
SHIRLEY: I didn't do it
ALL: So he's a goner
SHIRLEY: But if I'd done it
ALL: Upon my honor
SHIRLEY: How could you tell me
ALL: He'll see I give
SHIRLEY: That I was wrong?
ALL: As good as I got!
COACH GENGHIS:
I loved Miss Tench more than I can possibly say.
Ha, just kidding, I barely knew her
I knew a lot about her, though
She was the gym teacher at a school I used to go to
A school that was about to have some very special students
Some students I would kill to get closer to
And she had a habit of going out every night to run
The night I finally met her we discovered our fundamental disagreement
She saw herself as alive
...and I saw her dead!
ALL:
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum
SHAM, STEPHANO, GENGHIS: They had it comin'
DUPIN, GUNTHER, SHIRLEY: They had it comin'
SHAM, STEPHANO, GENGHIS: They had it comin'
DUPIN, GUNTHER, SHIRLEY: They had it comin'
SHAM, STEPHANO, GENGHIS: They had it comin'
DUPIN, GUNTHER, SHIRLEY: They had it comin'
SHAM, STEPHANO, GENGHIS: All along
DUPIN, GUNTHER, SHIRLEY: All along
SHAM, STEPHANO, GENGHIS: 'Cause they were goners
DUPIN, GUNTHER, SHIRLEY: 'Cause they were goners
SHAM, STEPHANO, GENGHIS: Upon our honors
DUPIN, GUNTHER, SHIRLEY: Upon our honors
SHAM, STEPHANO, GENGHIS: How could you tell us
DUPIN, GUNTHER, SHIRLEY: How could you tell us
SHAM, STEPHANO, GENGHIS: That we were wrong?
DUPIN, GUNTHER, SHIRLEY: That we were wrong?
ALL:
They had it coming
They had it coming
They only had themselves to blame.
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same!
SHAM: Correct my grammar one more time!
STEPHANO: Tore up my ticket
DUPIN: Emptied itself
GUNTHER: Head chopped off
SHIRLEY: Outlived her usefulness
GENGHIS: Fundamental disagreement
SHAM: Mad
STEPHANO: Peru
DUPIN: Oops
GUNTHER: Yes
SHIRLEY: Sawblade
GENGHIS: Gym teacher