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Post by Foxy on Sept 9, 2018 13:39:23 GMT -5
Dear Dairy,
Violet and Klaus tried to explain to Mr. Poe about how Captain Schmolaf is really Count Olaf, and he wrote Aunt Josephine’s note. We had to find a piece of paper Aunt Josephine had written on to prove the note was fake, and Violet said Aunt Josephine’s shopping list was in the kitchen. “Chuni!” I shrieked, which meant, “It’s about time we went to the kitchen. I’m starving!”
Unfortunately, Aunt Josephine did write the note leaving us to Captain Sham. “Gind!” I shrieked, which meant, “Well this is distressing. Will someone please make me some breakfast?” Mr. Poe went to call Captain Schmolaf, and he came back saying we are having lunch at a restaurant. I hope they have a buffet.
[This section of The Sunny Baudelaire Diaries correlates with Chapter 6 of The Wide Window.]
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Post by Foxy on Sept 10, 2018 7:24:40 GMT -5
Dear Dairy,
That restaurant Mr. Poe took us to is dreadful. First of all, it is clown-themed. Nobody likes clowns. Second of all, their ice cubes taste like fish. Nobody likes fish. Last of all, I think the waiter was talking in a code Daddy taught me about. Nobody likes waiters.
We had to listen to Captain Shmolaf tell a ridiculous story about how he met Aunt Josephine in cooking class. “Duna!” I shrieked, which meant, “Does anyone else think our waiter is weird?”
After we ate our cheeseburgers, Violet gave us peppermints. Violet and Klaus are allergic to peppermints, and now I know I am, too. My tongue swelled up, I got hives, and it made me cry. It is hard feeling sick when you are a baby.
Now we are riding in a taxi back to Aunt Josephine’s house.
[This section of The Sunny Baudelaire Diaries correlates with Chapter 7 of The Wide Window.]
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Post by Foxy on Sept 11, 2018 7:24:40 GMT -5
Dear Dairy,
Klaus has time to work on his mystery, and Violet is going to give me a bath. “Bluh!” I shouted, which meant, “Kwac,” which meant, “I hope Aunt Josephine has a rubber duck!” Violet and I tried to find baking soda in Aunt Josephine’s baking cabinet, but her baking cabinet was completely empty.
“Sooshee!” I shrieked, which meant, “Of course Aunt Josephine doesn’t have baking soda. She is too afraid to turn the oven on and bake.” Poor Aunt Josephine. I wonder when the last time was she had a cookie.
Violet and I took a regular bath with no baking soda. The warm water felt good on my hives. I played my favorite bath time game, shark. It’s where I splash in the water and use my teeth to chomp. I made huge puddles of water on the floor. It was great.
Eventually, Violet took us to Klaus in the library. “Bluh,” I said, which meant, “Krakull,” which meant, “Did anyone else notice that bolt of lightning in the distance?” Klaus started explaining something he learned from Aunt Josephine’s note. “Bluh,” I said, which meant, “Trumbull,” which meant, “Does anyone else hear that thunder?”
Klaus kept going on about Aunt Josephine’s note, and guess what! She made TONS of grammatical mistakes. “Coik!” I shrieked, which meant, “And she said I couldn’t speak English properly!”
But it turns out Aunt Josephine was making the mistakes on purpose, and those mistakes spelled something called “Curdled Cave.”
“Curdled veek?” I asked, which meant, “Did you know you can make lemon curd out of butter, honey, eggs, and lemons?” But this was not the time for dessert, as it became quite windy and stormy in the library.
We left the library, and I shrieked, “Doblur!” which meant, “I think we should check the weather station for severe weather warnings,” but Violet and Klaus could not hear me over the thunder.
Instead, we tried to think of where Aunt Josephine hid her books about Lake Lachrymose. I know one time I brought home a hard stone from Briny Beach, but it was too hard for me to bite. Where did I hide it? “Seeka yit,” I said, which meant, “I threw it out the window in frustration, and it almost hit the mailman.”
Violet and Klaus found out where Curdled Cave is, and Klaus noticed Aunt Josephine’s house was about to fall into Lake Lachrymose. “Tafca!” I shrieked, which meant, “Wait, I need to go get my items I stole from Uncle Monty’s house!” But the storm was very bad, so I decided to cut my losses.
The wind kept blowing the house, and I fell into a pile of tin cans. I guess I am an angry burglar. Violet carried me out of the house, and the three of us hugged one another as we saw Aunt Josephine’s entire house fall down, down, down into the lake.
[This section of The Sunny Baudelaire Diaries correlates with Chapter 8 of The Wide Window.]
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Post by Dante on Sept 11, 2018 12:49:18 GMT -5
Bye bye, sugar bowl - and by the way: I played my favorite bath time game, shark. It’s where I splash in the water and use my teeth to chomp. I made huge puddles of water on the floor. It was great. I really like your characterisation of Sunny. Seeing the story through an infant's eyes is really quite a different experience sometimes; she lives more in the moment.
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Post by Foxy on Sept 12, 2018 8:08:55 GMT -5
Dear Dairy,
We were going to take the ferry across the lake, but the ferry does not operate during hurricanes. “Entro!” I shrieked, which meant, “Too bad Hooky isn’t here; he could give us a lift on his pirate ship.”
We decided to rent a sailboat from Captain Schmolaf’s company instead, but the person who looks like neither a man nor a woman was in there. Violet and Klaus started debating which of Captain Schmolaf’s comrades was the scariest, and I whispered, “Vass,” which meant, “I’ll take care of this.” I left Klaus’s coat, which I had been wearing, in a heap, and I crawled through the shack door. I took the key ring from the enormous person, thinking of a diet plan for him or her. Maybe he or she would be less likely to be friends with Captain Schmolaf if he or she were healthier. I know Mommy taught me about a healthy salad once.
Anyway, I crawled back out with the keys, but a big boom of thunder woke up the enormous person. Klaus tried to get the gate to the sailboats open while Violet distracted him or her, but the enormous person picked Violet and I up. I kept biting his or her wrist, but he or she tasted like black licorice, which is very unpleasant tasting. “Poda rish!” I shouted, which meant, “You should eat more vegetables!”
Luckily, Klaus had left Aunt Josephine’s atlas on the ground, and the large person tripped on it and let us all go. We ran to a sailboat, I bit the rope which tied the boat to the dock, and now we are sailing Lake Lachrymose! I get why Hooky likes being a pirate – what a rush!
[This section of The Sunny Baudelaire Diaries correlates with Chapter 9 of The Wide Window.]
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Post by Dante on Sept 12, 2018 8:54:17 GMT -5
It's such a shame that pirates never quite managed to show up in the series, though I suppose the actions of the crew of the submarine Carmelita come close.
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Post by Foxy on Sept 13, 2018 8:12:39 GMT -5
Dear Dairy,
If you have never stolen and ridden a sailboat during a hurricane, I definitely encourage you to try it sometime, because it is exhilarating!
I put a life jacket on, which you should always do in a boat. Violet became the pirate captain and told me to steer the ship. I climbed to the back of the boat to work the tiller, calling out, “Karg tem!” which meant, “Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me!”
We made it to the other side of the lake. “Cind,” I said, which meant, “Sunny want a cracker,” as I hadn’t eaten in several hours.
There was a wailing noise coming out of the cave, and Violet and Klaus were scared to go in. “Geni,” I said, which meant, “Maybe there is food in this cave.” I went in, and Violet and Klaus followed. And you know what was making that wailing noise? Aunt Josephine. She wanted us to live in Curdled Cave with her. After we said we were not living in a cave, she asked why we were there.
“Stim!” I shrieked, which meant, “Because you are a slightly better guardian than Captain Schmolaf,” although at this point I was really beginning to doubt that. When we told Aunt Josephine she was coming back to town with us, she started talking about my pediatrician, José. I wonder how she knows him. Anyway, Klaus told Aunt Josephine realtors are coming, and she agreed to go with us.
[This section of The Sunny Baudelaire Diaries correlates with Chapter 10 of The Wide Window.]
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Post by Dante on Sept 13, 2018 9:28:34 GMT -5
With this slightly more reckless and sometimes cynical Sunny, it'll be interesting to see how you approach some of the moments towards the end of the series where some readers really did think her behaviour was verging on "evil Sunny" territory.
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Post by Foxy on Sept 14, 2018 9:33:12 GMT -5
Dear Dairy,
We were sailing back across Lake Lachrymose when the leeches came to attack us and Aunt Josephine. A huge group of leeches swam into the side of our boat and cracked it. “Yadec!” I shrieked, which meant, “Now we’ll never get our deposit back!”
The crack kept getting wider and dripping in water, so Captain Violet told me to use a bucket to bail out the boat. “Mofee!” I shrieked, which meant, “Aye, aye, captain!”
Soon, I had to abandon the tiller to focus on throwing water back into the lake, but Violet said we were sinking. After tying her hair up with her ribbon, she took my bucket from me. “Bero?” I asked, which meant, “Do you want to end up in Davy Jones’s locker?” But Violet began working on her invention. She tried starting a fire so we could get someone’s attention and get rescued, but everything was too wet. “Tintet,” I said, which meant, “It’s not too late to throw Aunt Banana-Eater overboard.”
But Violet thought of a different way to start a fire by using a piece of glass from a tiny telescope. “Fonti!” I shrieked, which meant, “Violet, you are a genius!”
Unfortunately, the person coming to rescue us is Captain Schmolaf.
[This section of The Sunny Baudelaire Diaries correlates with Chapter 11 of The Wide Window.]
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Post by Dante on Sept 15, 2018 2:40:16 GMT -5
Sunny's solution to every naval problem is to throw somebody overboard.
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Post by Foxy on Sept 15, 2018 9:03:27 GMT -5
Dear Dairy,
Captain Schmolaf told us after he adopts us, ours names are going to be Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Sham. “Neihab,” I shrieked, which meant, “That’s not even your real last name.” Captain Schmolaf started threatening to throw Aunt Josephine to the leeches, so Violet and Klaus began sailing the boat and I shrieked, “Igal!” which meant, “I’m glad I practiced being a shark today!” I went to protect Aunt Josephine with my teeth.
Then Aunt Josephine said she would give us away! She made Captain Schmolaf angry, and he knocked me over with his peg leg, which felt strangely heavy for being just a piece of wood. He pushed Aunt Josephine into the water. We tried to get Captain Schmolaf to turn around, but he wouldn’t. Violet and Klaus said maybe Aunt Josephine could escape. “Legru,” I said, which meant, “I think Captain Schmolaf’s leg grew back.”
When we got back on land, everyone was arguing. I kept looking at Captain Schmolaf’s peg leg. I crawled over to it, noticing that Captain Schmolaf still had not bathed, and the hurricane had not helped one bit. I bit the peg leg, and it cracked open. Now everyone can see Captain Schmolaf’s tattoo!
[This section of The Sunny Baudelaire Diaries correlates with Chapter 12 of The Wide Window.]
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Post by Foxy on Sept 16, 2018 7:54:02 GMT -5
Dear Dairy,
I grinned triumphantly as Mr. Poe realized Captain Schmolaf was really Count Olaf, but unfortunately Mr. Poe is still Mr. Poe, so Count Olaf and his large associate got away. Violet, Klaus, and I sat on Damocles Dock and thanked each other for all the work we did to get out of Count Olaf’s clutches. “Pilums,” I said, which meant, “Thank you for being my pirate accomplices.”
I wonder where Mr. Poe will send us to live next. Hopefully, it is someplace which serves good meals!
To My Kind Editor,
Fiti!
Love,
Sunny Baudelaire
[This section of The Sunny Baudelaire Diaries correlates with Chapter 13 of The Wide Window.]
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Post by Dante on Sept 16, 2018 10:45:10 GMT -5
I grinned triumphantly as Mr. Poe realized Captain Schmolaf was really Count Olaf, but unfortunately Mr. Poe is still Mr. Poe, so Count Olaf and his large associate got away. It's a short chapter, but this is a good sentence; the way Sham being Olaf is contrasted with Poe being Poe and the way Olaf's escape is so easily accepted are both quite entertaining.
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Post by Foxy on Sept 17, 2018 7:59:34 GMT -5
Dear Reader,
Ghand!
Love,
Sunny Baudelaire
To Mommy –
Until I was born, you flew around stage
With wings made out of silk
As the American advertising campaign said:
“Got milk?”
Dear Dairy,
As I rode on the train through a forest with Mr. Poe and my siblings, I practiced my biting skills. “Ghand!” I shrieked, which meant, “I am going to bite down the trees of this forest!”
Just as the train was arriving in Paltryville, Mr. Poe said we could contact him at Mulctuary Money Management. “Casca,” I said, which meant, “But you are never any help.”
The train took Mr. Poe away, and we went to the lumbermill where we would be living. The sign for the mill was made out of chewed gum. I was trying to identify how large the mill workers teeth are based on the teeth marks in the gum and had come to the conclusion that the gum was actually chewed by killer whales when I noticed Violet and Klaus were being awfully quiet. I looked up to see what the matter was.
“Varni,” I said, which meant, “Why did someone paint that building to look like an eye?”
This cannot be good, dairy. This cannot be good.
[This section of The Sunny Baudelaire Diaries correlates with Chapter 1 of The Miserable Mill.]
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Post by Dante on Sept 17, 2018 10:20:43 GMT -5
To Mommy – Until I was born, you flew around stage With wings made out of silk As the American advertising campaign said: “Got milk?” Nice riff on Emma Montana McElroy's original poem.
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