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Post by Esmé's meme is meh on Feb 11, 2022 18:04:15 GMT -5
THE 667ER - REFRESHED AND REVAMPED FIRST EDITION
EDITORIAL by Zortegus
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2022 is already a difficult but exciting year for most of us. 667 is turning 20 soon and we have to deal with difficult situations. Hermes' death affected us immensely, but life goes on and even when we'll miss him every single day, we're determined to thrive and continue growing and glowing. This year we'll be witnessing an historical moment with Christmas Chief having a baby. As far as I know, it's the first time an active 667er has a kid!
Some things change, for sure, but some old traditions come back. We're starting a new era for The 667er, and I can assure you all that some classics from the golden years of 667 Dark Avenue are on its way back.
Is this an editorial? If you ask soufflé , she'll probably say hell no magee. But I'm trying as hard as I can on a Friday evening full of work, and I think that's noble enough.
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Post by Esmé's meme is meh on Feb 11, 2022 18:47:06 GMT -5
History of 667: Banners
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Over the years, the main banner has been changed several times. Well over 20, which ironically, 667 will turn this year. This is the first banner, I believe. Made soon after March 2003. In October of 2003, the banner was changed to this. It stuck around for well over a year, but was eventually replaced. It was short lived however, and in March of 2005, 667’s new banner was released. Which was even shorter lived, as the next month it was replaced with the second original. Released in November 2006. For Career Day 2006. Months later, the new banner would be this. All Due Respect’s banner would come back in 2006, during the ADRC(ADR Arc). This one was around for quite a while, But was later replaced by this. For Pride Day. For Book Day. Made during 2008. Made in honor of a famous 667 story of the same name. Released in 2010. For the 10th anniversary of 667 Dark Avenue. Released in 2012. Released in 2015. Winner of a banner contest. A close contender. Released in 2016. In memory of Linda Rhaldeen Released in 2020. In preparation of Poison For Breakfast. In memory of Hermes. ------------------- If you want a history lesson on anything in particular, send Semblance a PM.
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Post by Esmé's meme is meh on Feb 11, 2022 18:52:54 GMT -5
Bee's Advice
1. "Sometimes I can't tell if people are joking, and think they're upset with me. Do you have any suggestions of how to not feel this way? Much obliged." -Anonymous My answer: Hi, thanks for your question! I think this is something everyone has experienced and can relate to. The main thing to remember is that you can't control what other people may say to you or how they may react to you- but you can control your own feelings and emotional response. As much as worrying someone is upset with you is unpleasant, it's also important to acknowledge and validate your own feelings. Ask yourself why you are responding this way, and you might start to notice what triggers this. I also think there is probably no harm and just asking a person if they are truly annoyed with you or only joking about something. If they are truly your friend or truly care about your feelings, they should have no problem explaining whether they are joking, or whether you have truly done something to upset them. Lastly, remember that when people react to things, it rarely has much to do with you. Quite often a person's reaction (whether joking or not) is a lot more to do with how they are feeling or interpreting the situation around them, rather than a direct reflection of their feelings for you. I hope this helped! 2. Dear Purveyor of Kind and Reasonable Advice,
My family and I moved to a new neighborhood ~1.5 years ago. It's a really nice place — in the middle of town, not tons of traffic, a park really nearby — but if I'm being honest I feel kind of lonely here. Mostly I worry about meeting people — it's a very religious neighborhood (and we live in the Bible Belt so the chances of these people being intolerant is a lot higher) and I worry about things like having a boyfriend, celebrating pride, etc. because of what other people might think/how that might change how they act towards me.
"Is there a question in this damn PM?!?" I hear you thinking. Yes, there is! Let me finish.
Should I even think about getting to know a guy my age who lives 3 blocks down?? Will it absolutely ruin my already kind of fragile social scene in this neighborhood? Should I maybe look past my own backyard for potential partners?
Thank you,
[NAME WITHHELD] My answer: Hi [NAME WITHHELD], thanks for your question. First of all, DO NOT worry about feeling lonely (easier said than done, I know). The last few years have been in a pandemic, seeing a lot less social interaction than normal. I also moved city around 1.5 years ago, and I found it incredibly difficult to meet new people. We've been living through a crazy historical event. Please go easy on yourself. As for your question, I think you have to be honest with yourself about what you are seeking from getting to know this guy your age. As you say, you live in a very religious area, meaning that people are more likely to have traditional attitudes towards same-sex relationships (as a bisexual woman, I feel your pain on this also). If you do try to get to know this boy better, you need to be okay with the fact that there is the potential for nothing more than friendship to come out of it. If you are okay with just making a new friend, then I'd say go for it. However, if deep down you would secretly like something more, you have to reconcile the fact that things might never progress that way if this person isn't interested in a same-sex relationship. There have been plenty of times I've had crushes and not be able to act on them because the individual themself is straight or a gay man. If you're okay with that, then I'd still say it's worthwhile reaching out to make friends. As for looking for potential partners, it is tricky, especially since the pandemic. If you are in a position to use dating apps/out to your parents, it can be a great way to meet cool new people. If you'd rather not use them (or can't living with your parents/being underage), I'd say try to seek out any clubs or societies in your local area which are likely to attract people of your sexual orientation or even aimed at specifically being LGBTQ+ inclusive. Any environment where you can see the same familiar faces on a regular basis is a great way to make both new friends and potentially look for romantic relationships. Best of luck! 3. Hello Bumble I keep writing really good stories and then you're not reading them despite me asking you repeatedly. What's up with that? Yours ShallowlyI'm busy, and I just skim them for my name, because I am equally shallow. 4. Hello Honey What Pop Tarts would you recommend for a cold winters evening? Yours PoppinglyBrown sugar-cinnamon. 5. Hello Wasperington You haven't made a thread about food for several days now. Do you want to get some shopping in for you? Yours HungrilyI'm not hungry. 6. Hello Miss. Bee I have a friend, who has a friend, who has a sister, who has another friend, who has a problem. Could you please tell me why I should care? Yours DisinterestedlyYou shouldn't care about someone's problems if you hardly know them.
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Post by Esmé's meme is meh on Feb 11, 2022 18:56:29 GMT -5
Hello friends, you may be wondering who I am. Why, I am only Little Sonny Jewett, a mild-mannered boy who spends most of his time at the local cinematheque. In this column I will share a few of my thoughts about the cinema in general: its troubles and, yes, its joys!
Today I posit a primitive ideal. If one were to make a film in the 21st century, I believe one would do well to emphasize the extreme youth of the art form.
In the ancient art forms, we are forced to grope backwards in search of the infancy of expression; in film we are still inextricably a part of that infancy. An enormous advantage!—if only we can make viewers aware of it. Just as Shelley said that everyone was necessarily a poet at the beginning of language, thus every filmmaker must be one—at least as long as he does not try to “regulate” film language. Metaphors become clichés, and vitality becomes mere grace, when people convince themselves that their tools of creation have no infancy.
I find that there is no unifying, obscuring grace in the most vitally creative and youthful films, landmarks as otherwise dissimilar as Strike, Zéro de conduit, Citizen Kane, or À bout de souffle. A graceful touch is sickly sweet, a rub instead of a scratch, a complete prosaic, novelistic detachment from the image itself. (The novel in its “classical form” required an omniscient narrator, and therefore one ironically detached from his subject matter; Eric Rohmer rightly observed that the place for this class of storytelling has been filled by many cineastes, not least himself.) At the same time, a staged gracelessness, like handheld shooting in action films, is even more decadent because it disregards the image itself, instead of just “distancing” it.
The 21st century film, to remain as youth, will be interested in the image instead of the technology behind the image; in the relation between images instead of between one image and the viewer; in the rhythm of cutting instead of the rhythm of camera movement; OR, in the rhythm of scenes instead of the rhythm of the whole film. These are what I have seen to be the most effective ways of keeping both filmmakers and audiences alert—alert to the artifice, while equally alert to the cinematographic image’s unique truth.
And as a reward for reading to the end of my humble column, I will share with you “A Little Sonny Jewett-Certified Swell Picture.” The film is called BOOM! (1968). I think it is my favorite film that I saw for the first time last year. It stars the famous actors Liz Taylor and Dick Burton, who loved each other so much that they got married twice. It is directed by Mr. Joseph Losey, who was a Little Sonny Jewett-certified swell guy.
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Post by Esmé's meme is meh on Feb 11, 2022 19:01:32 GMT -5
One. Even though klausb667’s favorite poem was “This Be The Verse”, he was glad that Sherry Ann had apparently forgotten all about its final line. He was glad for two reasons. One of them was that she had been looking very tired just before she took her leave, and klaus was glad that she was resting. The other reason was that it would be infinitely easier to sneak into her office without her around. klaus knew that it is very rude to sneak into someone’s office, and to mess with their things, and make them sign a piece of paper that they probably shouldn’t, but he was doing it anyway. He hurried down the Misinformed Moderation corridor, shivering even with his moth-eaten coat on. (When 667 Dark Avenue had been built, back when it was still the Informer Forums, Hermedy had plotted out a criss-crossing network of narrow corridors, each corridor stretching uninterrupted through nearly the entire length of the building. The effect was impressive. It was also drafty.) klaus turned into the Staff Offices, located at the very end of the corridor, and passed by the offices of Dante, Zortegus, gothicarchiesfan, Bee, and Semblance. Sherry Ann’s office was a tidy place. Its single window looked out onto the alleyway, where a café owner was getting ready for the day’s business. Behind the white wooden desk was an enormous bookcase, filled with stacks of files. The bookshelf itself was more Dante’s style, and clashed dreadfully with the desk. klaus did not have the time to notice any of these things. He pulled the crumpled membership form out of his coat pocket, smoothed it out on the desk, and added it to an unassuming pile of papers sitting at the corner of Sherry Ann’s desk. He read his forgery one more time to reassure himself— S — I’m creating another account as part of a… special event, shall we say? Anyways, I was wondering if you could process this information on the down-low. Thanks — Z—and placed the form on the very top of the stack of papers. It looked out of place when it was right next to all the other clean, crisp reports and analyses. But there was nothing klaus could really do about it now. He left Sherry Ann’s office as quietly as he had entered it and decided to head for Fearsome Fiction. Nobody explored the old fics there — most were too afraid of coming across some monster of a Mary Sue fic, and never braved the far end of the corridor. (If they were afraid of Mary Sue fics, they’d be better off not visiting Fearsome Fiction at all, klaus thought as he remembered a recent visitor.) (Fine Art America identifies the photograph above as being of the Cathedral of the Assumption of Our Lady and Saint John the Baptist, at Sedlec, near the town of Kutna Hora in the Czech Republic, or Czechia. Of course, members of this forum will know better.) klaus turned righ t on Misinformed Moderation and took the stairs up two at a time — past the Objectionable Others and up to the Forsaken Fan-Work. He stepped out into Aggravating Art, passed two hundred or so Threads, and turned left into Fearsome Fiction. There was Jean Lucio. Damn! Why did he have to care so much about keeping his corridor clean?!? klaus slowed down as he drew nearer. Jean was very much interested in sweeping up a broken set of color tags and seemed oblivious to the Guest standing a few dozen threads behind him. Jean was talking out loud, but not to himself; there was an earpiece or something that he was talking into. “How on earth do you print something upside down and backwards?” Jean asked calmly. Jean stood up. klaus, who had been hypnotized by Jean’s publishing troubles, realized that he needed to hide in an old thread fast. He ducked into the nearest one — which one it was, he wasn’t sure. He stood in the Viewing room, looking out on the Discussion room. He pressed the “First Post” button on the viewing console. “EDITED FOR PROFANITY,” blared a voice that belonged to someone the console identified as “detectivedupin93”. “Shh! Shhh!!” klaus rushed to cover the speaker, even though the post was over, and the hologram of detectivedupin93 had disappeared from the Discussion room. From the corridor came a “Pardon me — I’m at work and I think there’s a situation.” klaus ran for the door into the Discussion room. He burst through, slammed the door, and lunged behind one of the benches, just as Jean opened the door and looked around. When he saw nothing unusual, he looked at the title of the thread printed on the door plaque. “Ew,” Jean said, and closed the door. klaus waited for Jean to begin talking again (“Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think that magenta is a very readable color”) before he crept out of the Discussion room, and slowly, slowly sneaked back into the corridor. Jean was at the far end again, wondering where he could find a dustpan to sweep up the tags with. klaus looked at the door he had just come through. “Ew,” he said. It was times like this when he wondered why he bothered. Emily was why he bothered. He knew that the answers to all the questions he had about her lay somewhere in this building. If he were really a part of the forum — if he were a Member and not just a Guest — he could ask for help in finding out where on earth Emily was, and why she had left. As it was, the 667 Dark Avenue building was a cold and lonely place to him. klaus set out for the Archives, all the way at the bottom of the building. It was going to be a long and stressful journey. (Broken “glow” tags like these are rampant in older posts on 667. They’re the bane of many a tidy Moderator’s existence — including Jean’s.)
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Post by Esmé's meme is meh on Feb 11, 2022 19:12:19 GMT -5
A Violent Bun Interview
Greetings, Semblance. You revealed recently that your neighbourhood is somewhat terrifying. So my first question has to be: are you alive and well?
Greetings. Yes, I'm doing quite well, I haven't been in danger lately. Although, last summer, I did get a scar while climbing a tree.
Since joining 667, you’ve made a great impact on the forum, even winning Member of the Year (congratulations again). But what about Semblance-before-667 – did you lurk the forum for a while before joining? Or were you involved in any other fansites?
Ah, thank you, I appreciate it. I was lurking for about a week or so. I was looking for some information on promotional items, when I came about Mr. Dante's "What's in The Box" thread, which showcased the Bombinating Beast Statue. Coincidently, I was also drinking a root beer float at the time. I then read up on some theories that piqued my interest. Nope, this was the first fan site I joined (and a great one at that).
A basic one now: do you have a favourite ASOUE book, and if so, what makes it your favourite?
I would say The End. I like how it's probably the safest the Baudelaires have been in a while, yet there is still a lingering feeling of dread. I thoroughly enjoy the setting as well. It was also one of the most morally challenging books, which is always great. Although, The Penultimate Peril is a close second.
ASOUE is a series in many ways defined by death, and many of the deaths within the series are murders. If you had to choose anyone from 667 Dark Avenue to be your accomplice in committing a murder, whom would you choose and why?
Oo, good question. Hmm, I would choose Mr. "Bear". He would probably brag about the murder and take all the credit.
And, on a related note: which 667er would you murder, and how would you go about tracking them down?
Mr. Terry Craig, he is one of the only people I know who owns one of the Bombinating Beast Statues. He'd probably try to get a copy of Mr. Jean Lucio's The Litory Intelligence, so I'd get a job at Amazon and find his address through that. Another one would offer to send him a Valentine's letter.
Stepping away from the murder questions for now: you recently mentioned that you have been considering a career as a librarian – that’s really exciting! What made you consider it in the first place?
Yeah, it'd probably only be for a few years, maybe even a volunteer position. I was inspired by Dashiell Qwerty, and Lemony Snicket's whole view on librarians. Another, more selfish, reason is that libraries have access to book promotions. PFB actually had one recently that I really wanted.And in the short term, do you have any exciting plans for 2022?
Finish my novel, although I've been informed it's more like a novella, and hopefully meet my best friend for the first time. She's actually the reason I started writing the story.If you found yourself in the same situations as the Baudelaires, how well do you think you would fare? Are there any specific challenges they overcome which you think you would have been especially good – or bad – at solving?
The Baudelaires are much stronger willed than I am, so I would've killed Olaf back in The Bad Beginning. I probably wouldn't have been able to think under most of the stressful situations, like a caravan rolling down a mountain.
You’re very artistic – I know you like writing and drawing. Do you have any other creative hobbies?
I don't know how to describe it in one word, but I like converting a bunch of random items into something knew. Like paper towel rolls and plastic bottles into a spyglass. I also made a Keyblade, from Kingdom Hearts, out of a bunch of random material.
Are there any foods from ASOUE or ATWQ which you would really like to try?
I made that toast tar tar not long ago...maybe that pasta dish that Lemony and Moxie made in Who Could That Be At This Hour? Side note- Gashouse Eggs are delicious, although I refer to them as egg in a whole. What’s the first book you remember reading?
Funnily enough, I was thinking about this book a few weeks back. May I Please Have a Cookie?
If you had a telescope which could show you any person, place, or thing in the world, what would you ask it to show you?
I'd ask it to show me my soul, to see if it's still there. Or I'd ask it to show me the leaf outside and enjoy as it spazzes out between all the leaves outside.
Who’s that watching you in your mirror?
I'm not sure, maybe I should ask the telescope to show me who it is.
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Post by Esmé's meme is meh on Feb 11, 2022 19:14:23 GMT -5
Terry Craig's MOVIE IDEAS (Oct - Dec 2021)
So, recently, Netflix released a Leonardo DiCaprio-starring movie called "Don't Look Up" directed by Adam McKay. I have not seen it, and don't intend to, but the movie's concept - no joke - is one that I came up with in early July 2021. As proof, here's what I wrote down: ">> idea for story: Astronomers see a giant comet heading towards Earth, and it will hit us unless we change some habit that governs our current social system. Many people say it's a hoax, others say they have a right to continue doing the thing regardless of the consequences, and so we end up obliterated." You say Adam "the hack" McKay's movie was probably already shot and ready at that point - well, I didn't know, did I? Never heard of it before it was actually released, and I'm sure most people hadn't. So before someone else in Hollywood steals ideas from my notebook, I've decided to publish a recent batch of movie ideas in the prestigious 667er. Here we go: "Infernal Moonshine of the Bloodshot Mind": An alcoholic tries to forget his high school love. "American Pi": A cross-over between the American Pie series and Darren Aronofsky's "Pi". The soundtrack features a math rock cover version of Don McLean's American Pie, by Johnny Greenwood. "Uncut Germs": In the year 2050, people have assimilated to the Covid-19 virus, and discovered that contracting the virus now gets you on an incredible high for several days. However, a small-time drug dealer who sells "Covvy" has started to discover creeping, strange new side effects in some of his customers. Is the virus mutating once again? - Planned release date: Christmas 2022, uncless a new wave of lockdowns pushes it back for a year. Charlie Kaufman's "Adoption.": Mr. and Mrs. Kaufman discover that their adopted boy is slowly turning into a puppet as he grows older. The kid is played by a CG-transposed face of Nicolas Cage on top of a kid's body. "Irreverent" by Alenadro Goznólez Ijérritu With a career-turning performance by Toby Maguire as a fur-clad pimp dropped off, by his fed-up working girls, in a deserted icy tundra to perish. "Inglourious Ghostbusters" - The old Ghostbusters gang has to kill the ghost of Hitler. They end up with a giant Josef Goebbels terrorizing New York City. "Bulb Fiction": Two electricians get tangled up in interweaving storylines involving their boss, his wife, an electric accident, and a pair of lamp salespeople called "Pumpkin" and "Honey Bunny". "Squeegee: Origin of Evil": In 1960s California, a fake medium's daughter tries to communicate with her late father - a window cleaner during his lifetime - through a squeegee, but unleashes a demon instead. Things get scary and soapy.
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Post by Esmé's meme is meh on Feb 11, 2022 19:20:46 GMT -5
Why can't people just get out of my face?
Mister M's Rant #001
So I'm doing a rant, which is not the first time this has happened, and I don't just mean for the 667er. I can rant with the best of them, those oligarch of rantery, and my reputation has done nought but grow in the intervening years since I last vented my spleen on this ere' torrid publication. So here we go. Behave like a good dentist and brace yourselves. I guess my biggest gripe at the moment is face masks, and people inability to wear them in any logical kind of fashion. As I'm sure you're aware (and if you aren't where the hell have you been?) I work in a library, and despite libraries having a reputation for maintaining a high standard of intellect and mental agility, somehow this ethos seems to have surpassed the majority of our cliental. Now, the purpose of a face mask, as I'm sure you're aware, is to prevent you spreading various germs and/or viruses by covering your mouth and nose. I'm not here to complain about the people who use a mask as some kind of filthy chin hammock, or an unfashionable pat butcher-esque earring. That would be obvious. I am instead talking about two very specific types of bear. 1. People who will say something, and then as if to reiterate their point, pull down their mask and then loudly shout the same sentence back at me, sending particles of spittle hither and tither. Either shout and keep your mask on, or talk like a normal person with it off. 2. People who sneeze violently, but instead of using the mask to its full benefit will pull the mask down, sneeze all over me, and then pull the mask back up. Thanks for that. Now sadly this seems to make up about 90% of the population at this moment in time, so I am going to go and crawl into a dark hole until people learn to leave me alone.
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Post by Esmé's meme is meh on Feb 11, 2022 19:21:29 GMT -5
The month in a nutshell -January marked the return of Charles Denouement -It also had the first 667 zoom meeting in 10 months, commemorating the life of Hermes -Hermes was one of the forum’s most beloved members who tragically passed away in November 2021. He was a famously kind and considerate man, always welcoming, and one of the greatest theorists ever to be present on 667 Dark Avenue.
-Despite this tr4gedy, the forum has been steadily growing more hectic, with discussion in Menacing Miscellaneous reaching highs not seen in years.
-Fanfiction has also been going strong, with numerous updates to Mr M’s latest triumph Tales From A Quiet World.
-Overall, a wonderful start to what will no doubt be another remarkable year in 667 Dark Avenue’s complex history.
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Post by B. on Feb 12, 2022 2:59:19 GMT -5
Congratulations on pulling this all together Zortegus, it's great
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Post by Isadora Is a Door on Feb 12, 2022 5:05:56 GMT -5
I think you'll find it's called a masthead Zort
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Post by Poe's Coats Host Toast on Feb 12, 2022 13:30:26 GMT -5
A fine masthead editorial, Zort. I like the banner even more.
A splendid overview on the history of 667 banners - I'm not sure if I'm imagining things, but I think I recognize one or two from 2006. (It's possible, as I briefly lurked around on 667 a few years before joining.) I definitely know the banner instated in 2010 (I think it was used until 2012 shortly before/after I joined).
I enjoyed Little Sonny Jewett's little treatise against the so-called "Tradition of Quality" in cinema that the likes of Godard and Truffaut have also assailed in the Cahiers du Cinema magazine.
Having worked in a supermarket, I can relate all too well to MisterM's rant, and I enjoyed the "chin hammock" description. However, I'm not sure point #2 is necessarily always warranted... I've read it might be better to turn away from people and sneeze into your elbow with the mask off, because once you sneeze into your mask, it's effectively useless from that point on - too wet to work - and needs to be gotten rid off. This may be difficult when you don't have spare masks or a safe way to dispose of the mask.
I still have two entries left to read, but can safely call this a very nice issue, and thank you Zortegus for pulling it together.
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Post by Isadora Is a Door on Feb 12, 2022 14:29:21 GMT -5
Its the sneezing all over me that im focussing on here.
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Post by Violent BUN Fortuna on Feb 12, 2022 16:03:32 GMT -5
Its the sneezing all over me that im focussing on here. Well that's a quote to remember. Anyway, well done for putting this all together, Zort! I very much enjoyed it ^_^
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Post by Reba on Feb 12, 2022 21:09:17 GMT -5
And, on a related note: which 667er would you murder, and how would you go about tracking them down? Mr. Terry Craig, he is one of the only people I know who owns one of the Bombinating Beast Statues. Doesn’t the interviewer herself has one of those statues ?
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