2022 Darkies Award Ceremony Thread WOOP

[jeanlucio10]

I hope my speech subtly demonstrated my admiration for your creations.

[Violent BUN Fortuna]

Hallo all, ‘tis I, your favourite small sweet leavened bread. Bun, that is.



I’m here to present Best Profile Decoration, a source of great pain to me, because even after being on 667 for almost 8 years, I simply can’t remember how to use banners. My profile has slowly stagnated, still featuring, year after year, a cinnamon bun which has surely long since become stale. And so I've become increasingly certain I have no chance of ever winning, or even being nominated. And again this year, as the nominations came flooding in, my name was conspicuous only by its absence.



But WAIT. To my surprise, when voting was opened, there was my name nestled among ten infinitely more worthy nominees. What could this mean? A secret nomination? Who could have done this? Was glory to be mine, at long last?



In a word: no. Despite my surprise (and frankly inexplicable) nomination, I failed to receive a single vote. Lol.



But I was in good company, as Invisible, urban-letter-opener, bear, and jeanlucio10 also failed to receive any votes. Commiserations, my fellow failures. You are appreciated, just not by the voting public. 


Ahead of us came Blake Sabbath, Hermedy, and no punk, holla WE WANT PRENUPS, each with a breathtakingly mediocre one vote. Well done, you were all worthy nominees.


Striding forth alone with a staggering 2 whole points is Yak-foot, an excellent contender whose cowboy banner always makes me smile.



Finally, in a stunningly dramatic twist, we find ourselves in what may be an unprecedented situation but honestly I haven’t bothered to look it up. Mister M might know. Yes, gentle readers, I am talking about a TIE.



So please, raise your glasses, clap your hands, scream your approval to the heavens for our JOINT winners for Best Profile Decoration, The famous March Fool's day and wow. you're cheap. !! They each gained 3 points, and I’m very proud of them. Bee’s profile is notable for actually featuring a picture of herself as her avatar (a rarity on 667), while Zortegus currently has a very pleasing goose theme going on.



Congratulations to both of you! Terry will be creating your banner

[Violent BUN Fortuna]

Also I forgot to say -- congrats to all the previously announced winners! I was out for most of the day, but I've enjoyed catching up on everyone's speeches very much.

[sweet, sweet marrow]

Well done Bee and Zortegus. This is not the first tie for Best Profile Decoration, but it is the first time we've had a new winner in this category for 5 years.

[bryan]

I'm late to the party but the Darkies Awards still rule

[sweet, sweet marrow]

Literally no awards overnight? Imma slap someone in a minute

[The famous March Fool's day]

Apr 10, 2022 2:09:34 GMT -5 sweet, sweet marrow said:

Literally no awars overnight? Imma slap someone in a minute

I support this lol

How many have we got to get through?

And thank you very much for the awards everyone

[sweet, sweet marrow]

I think we still have 13 to go?

[The famous March Fool's day]

Okay, I'm going to start today off by presenting Best Thread then. Also, I'm literally free-styling this speech on the spot, so while it won't be anywhere near in quality what the previous presenters have prepared, I hope it reminds those who still have to present that you can literally just make it up as you go along (I've been doing this for about 23 years now).

I made a LOT of threads this year, and I'm not really sure why. Or rather, I am. With Dante, Hermes, and Sherry Ann being absent it is going to take a certain amount of community effort to keep things going, and I kind of felt for a period that making random threads in Misc could at least help that a bit, even if I can't really contribute much to the Snicket side of the forum anymore.

Unsurprisingly, a lot of mine received 0 votes lmao.

Robert by wow. you're cheap.

Goodbye, friends. by wow. you're cheap.
Dick Pics by Yak-foot

Dinner At Hungry's by @semblance

An Invitation to the New Age by yosoy

Which 667er by @semblance

Actual Nudes by R.
BIG NEWS! by R.

DH in Oxford!! by Violent BUN Fortuna
Twiggy's Tisanes by no punk, holla WE WANT PRENUPS
How Do you Meet your Love Interests? by The famous March Fool's day

A Historic Retrospective by Hermes
Piercings by The famous March Fool's day

February Goals by The famous March Fool's day

Name a European Country you'd like to visit/recommend by The famous March Fool's day

Sleep by The famous March Fool's day

Pop-Tarts by The famous March Fool's day

Death by The famous March Fool's day

Linking those all so you can go pursue at your leisure, but also @semblance did a lot of the heavy lifting for me with them.

Roxy Face Reveal by Roxy
Dinner At Hungry's by @semblance
Wordle by urban-letter-opener
Age 23 by The famous March Fool's day
All received 1 vote.

2 of our nominated threads received 3 votes each. These were:
Nudity by The famous March Fool's day
Hermes by sweet, sweet marrow

Um, both of these are kind of contrasting topics. The nudity thread was another random one on my part. The Hermes thread offers some really beautiful reflections on his life and contributions to 667, which I'd encourage anyone who hasn't done so to check out.

Anyway, there is no tie this time. The winner of best thread, 2022 is:

365 Days of 667 by wow. you're cheap. (With The famous March Fool's day, and @semblance)!!

Which reminds me, I should probably go update that thread.

Thanks for reading bbs,
B.
xoxo

[Violent BUN Fortuna]

Congratulations Semby, Bee, and Zort. And Semblance again lol

[sweet, sweet marrow]

Congrats to Semblance (twice) and to Bee and to Zortegus. This is the first time anyone has shared the honour for Best Thread, as it happens.

[Violent BUN Fortuna]

Annnnddd I’m back to present The Linda Rhaldeen Award for Most Valued Poster! This is a very special award, named as it is after such a sorely missed member of our forum, so being nominated at all is something of an honour.



But obviously winning is more of an honour, so let’s get on to the good stuff.



jeanlucio10,Yak-foot, R.,no punk, holla WE WANT PRENUPS, and bear all received nominations, but 0 votes.  ??? Everyone, please look appropriately sympathetic.


Next, we have Hermedy, wow. you're cheap., sweet, sweet marrow, The famous March Fool's day, and catastrophist, who each received 1 vote. This is a particularly impressive feat for Hermedy, given that he never actually posts anything. Also for Catastrophist, who only posted 6 times last year. A polite round of applause, please.


Then, in second place, we have Hermes, with 3 votes. I don’t know what to say here except I’m sad he can’t take part in this year’s Darkies, but I hope he knew how much we all appreciated his many contributions to the forum. Raise your glasses, please. 


Finally, that leaves just one member remaining, and it probably comes as no surprise to any of you that this year’s most valued poster is … @semblance, with a breakaway FIVE VOTES!! Congratulations, Semby! I hope you can wallow in delight and pride on this most joyous of days. Everyone, please behave like absolute maniacs as you celebrate Semblance's supremacy.

[urban-letter-opener]

Once again, urban-letter-opener!

Hello again! I'm here to present the award for Most Improved. After the amazing response to the first and only issue of the "667 Murmurer", I have decided to go in a totally different direction for this award presentation. You see, I've decided that, in the interest of transparency, I shall list the ways in which each of our nominees has improved — one for each point that our noms have received. 

Let's start with Terry Craig — 

(He got zero votes. But he's first in my heart!! Just behind the two (spoilers!!!) winners of this award.)

Zortegus —
-"hupu" is a blessing unto this forum. I get the feeling that when humanity is gone 3 years from now, the aliens will see this forum and assume "hupu" was a deity of ours.

(Unfortunately, Zortegus has managed to remain very consistent in all other aspects of his memberhood. I smell a different award coming his way...)

Jean Lucio —
-Jean has thankfully given up the goat on his Dark Stories, mysteries so ickleing strange that I'm kind of convinced that Jean likes to watch other people clutch their heads in agony.
-Jean's artwork has greatly increased, both in number and in quality, over the past year. I would frame the 667 Dark Asylum pictures... if they didn't make me feel like I was living inside "Yume Nikki". 
-His rereadings of Lemony Snicket's work, totally without any help or acknowledgment from ANYONE WHATSOEVER (sorry, slipped into my gossip voice there), are honestly pretty inspirational.

(This leaves Jean with three points. Nice work, man! Maybe you haven't won 667's Most Improved, but I think you've won life's Most Improved this year. Viva Matt Litory!)

Roxy222 —
-Roxy has not confronted Daniel Handler over Zoom this past year.
-Roxy has not driven to Daniel Handler's house to lecture him on the greatness of Esme Squalor.
-Roxy has not used a non-denominational space laser to carve "ESME IS IN" across her home nation.
-Roxy does not pretend to be a villainous lady in an octopus dress in this forum anymore. (When she goes to the grocery store for milk... that's another matter)

(All told, Roxy's earned herself a very respectable four points! Beautifully done!)

BUT WHAT'S THIS?? A CHALLENGER APPROACHES! HIS NAME IS...

Mister M — how have you improved? Let me count the ways.
-Black Ink
-The Marvelous Marriage (please continue that one!)
-The Quantum Possibility Engine
-Tales from a Quiet World

That's. Wait, that's four points! We have a tie! Okay, hands to your holsters. When I say go, you'll both shoot and whoever dies— sorry, what? We don't do tiebreakers here?

Pfft. Plebs.

Goncragulations ROXY and MISTER M! I'm not sure who's in charge of your banner, but I'm sure somebody does and will get to you soon. Love ya <3

[Lily]

 Congrats everyone!! I was in charge of the Most Improved banner, here it is: 
(link)

[jeanlucio10]

Congratulations to all of you!! And I really enjoyed the speech a lot. I think it was really a very important recognition for me!! Thanks urban-letter-opener!