|
Post by Tiran O'Saurus on Apr 12, 2022 8:51:00 GMT -5
Dear Reader: If you enjoy reading stories that contain anything other than misery and woe, please stop reading immediately. This story tells the story of the long story that happened after Violet, Klaus, Sunny, and Beatrice left the island. It contains such unpleasant things as a cutthroat pirate, a shocking betrayal, a not-so-accidental shipwreck, and the astronomical symbol of the planet Venus.
Chapter 1:
There are three bad things to see on a boat. One is an empty jar of rations, one is a complete lack of any land, and one is the black sails of a pirate ship. Violet, Klaus, Sunny, and Beatrice Baudelaire were unfortunate enough to see all three at once. “Ahoy!” Beatrice yelled. Beatrice, being only one year old, didn’t really speak English so much as a nonsense language close relatives could understand. In this case, Beatrice meant “Look at that ominous looking ship!”
“That ship is a marvel of engineering. I wonder if they’re friendly.” said Violet. She was the oldest at 16 years old, and was an inventor who could appreciate good craftsmanship.
“I don’t recognize the flag they’re flying. I think I might have seen that symbol in a book about the planets, but I don’t think they’re extraterrestrials.” Klaus said, using a word which here means “aliens”. Klaus was a researcher who had read many, many more books than you and me, and had helped design the Beatrice, which was the boat they were on.
“I hope they have food they’ll share with us!” Sunny said. Sunny was the ship’s cook, but it was hard to cook when you had no supplies. “We should follow them. Wherever they’re going, it must be better than the middle of the ocean.” I am sad to say she was wrong.
Author's note: This is my first ASOUE fanfic. I hope you'll enjoy. One of the main reasons I joined was to post the fanfic I write.
|
|
|
Post by Optimism is my Phil-osophy on Apr 12, 2022 8:57:29 GMT -5
Please continue. The style is really good. You very well replicate Lemony Snicket's narrative voice at that time in his life.
|
|
|
Post by Tiran O'Saurus on Apr 12, 2022 8:59:31 GMT -5
Please continue. The style is really good. You very well replicate Lemony Snicket's narrative voice at that time in his life. Thanks! I will.
|
|
|
Post by Tiran O'Saurus on Apr 12, 2022 9:23:24 GMT -5
Chapter 2:
They followed the ship for almost a full day before they were close enough to make out any more details than the flag and the general shape. The ship was much bigger than the Beatrice, and seemed to be crewed by women wearing bandanas. The ship suddenly turned so that its cannons were facing the Beatrice, and someone aboard called out in a heavy Finnish accent “Avast! Weigh your ship's anchor and prepare to be boarded, or we’ll fire!” Scared, the crew of orphans complied with their demands, a phrase which here means “did what they were told”. Soon, a boat left the pirate ship and traveled to the Beatrice. A woman got out and climbed aboard.
“Who are you?” Klaus asked.
“My name is Aino Clockwise, captain of the FFPS Hera. The question is, who are you and why is that on your sail.” Aino Clockwise said, pointing at the large eye painted on their sail. To the careful eye, it would be apparent that the letters V, F, and D were hidden inside. “That is the symbol of a known terrorist group, who sunk dozens of our ships while questing for some meaningless bowl. Are you with them?”
That was a difficult question. Were the Baudelaires with VFD? They had worked along them, but had no training, tattoos, or idea if VFD even still existed. They weren’t even entirely sure what the letters stood for. “No.” Sunny said.
“Then why do you have their symbol on your sails?” Captain Clockwise said suspiciously.
“Yungerth!” Beatrice cried, which meant “It came that way!”
“I’m sorry, I usually speak fluent monkey, but your accent is a bit too strong. Can you say it in English?” Captain Clockwise asked.
“Jymkary!” Beatrice said, which meant “I’m not a monkey!”
“She meant that the ship came that way.” Violet translated.
“Ah, so you’re fellow pirates. Do you wish to come to our base?”
“We’re not pirates. Can you give us directions back to shore?”
“Shore? Sure! Just sail due starboard, and you’ll be in Hazy Harbor by nightfall.” The pirate got back in her boat and sailed away.
|
|
|
Post by Tiran O'Saurus on Apr 12, 2022 10:11:08 GMT -5
Chapter 3:
They sailed until night fell, day rose, and night fell again. “I think that pirate gave us bad directions.” Klaus said.
“Wait, I think I see something.” Violet said. Indeed, on the horizon there was a dot which drew closer and closer. It is often not good for a dot to draw closer and closer, like the time I was chased through a pond by a spherical submarine, and in this case it wasn’t good either. The dot was an island, with large stone piers sticking out like spokes on a wheel. They were sailing straight towards one of those jetties.
“Titular!” Beatrice screamed, which meant “Those jetties look dangerous!”
“Quick, turn!” Sunny yelled. But they weren’t fast enough. Beatrice sank. The boat, not the person. The orphans were all able to hold on to pieces of debris and survive, but there was no way they’d be able to rebuild their boat.
“Deja.” Beatrice said, which meant “This is like the story you told me about how you got to the island.”
“At least we don’t have Count Olaf with us this time.” Klaus said optimistically.
“Hello hello hello.” said a new voice.
“Vu!” Beatrice screamed in fright.
The figure was tall and thin, with a single long eyebrow and a tattoo of an eye on their ankle. They had gray hair and wore a tattered suit, and behind them was another figure with hooks instead of hands.
|
|
|
Post by Tiran O'Saurus on Apr 12, 2022 12:58:41 GMT -5
Chapter 4:
I am very, very sorry for leaving you on such a cliffhanger. Just as I was about to put pen to paper I heard the screeches of villainous eagles and had to flee the country. Here in this shack in the Kingdom of Arizona, I believe I am safe to resume writing.
“What have we here?” said the figure.
“Olaf!” Beatrice shrieked.
“No, silly. That isn’t Olaf.” Violet said calmly. Of course, it wasn’t the evil count. But to someone who had grown up hearing about an evil villain who had one eyebrow, a VFD tattoo, gray hair, and an associate with hooks for hands, this wasn’t a hard conclusion to make.
“Me, Olaf? Ho ho ho, that’s the best laugh I’ve had in ages! I’m his brother, Omar. I work undercover with VFD to spy on the Female Finnish Pirates. This is my partner, Lorenz.” The “hook handed” man stepped forwards and removed his hooks, revealing perfectly ordinary hands.
“His brother?” Klaus asked.
“Yes, unfortunately. He always played mean pranks on me when we were younger. And then he pretended I was dead for some reason. Anyway, you should come with me. These pirates aren’t exactly friendly.”
The orphans walked after Omar, their minds moving faster than the chariot I am currently hiding in to escape a villainous dietician. Was this man trustworthy? What side of VFD was he on? Would the pirates actually hurt them? Those questions bounced around in their heads like questions often do.
|
|
|
Post by HAL 10,000 on Apr 12, 2022 22:05:05 GMT -5
This is really good so far.
|
|
|
Post by Tiran O'Saurus on Apr 13, 2022 7:36:55 GMT -5
Chapter 5:
Omar led them into a cave, which had a VFD disguise kit in it. “The pirates don’t like having anyone on their island but themselves, so we need to disguise ourselves as pirates.” Each person put on their own disguise. Klaus hid his glasses by wearing an eyepatch, Violet hid that her hair was tied up with a ribbon by placing a tricorn hat over it, Sunny hid her larger than average teeth by tying a bandana around her face, and Beatrice decided to put on an eyepatch; bandana; and tricorn hat in order to be especially disguised. Omar had hid his tattoo with a false peg leg and put on a blond wig, and Lorenz put back on his hooks.
“All right, let’s get going.” Omar said, using the same Voice Fakery Disguise his brother had when pretending to be Shirley.
“Where are we going?” Klaus asked.
“I didn’t think you wanted to stay on this island for life, did you? We’re going to steal a boat so you can sail back to shore.”
“Gudridents!” Beatrice said, which meant “I can’t wait to not be at sea!” They walked along the island's beaches, not getting too close to the buildings in the center that were the pirates headquarters. The nearest ship was docked at the end of one of the jetties, but it took a long time to climb over every rock in it.
CLUNK! Omar’s peg leg banged on the rocks. CLUNK! CLUNK! “We aren’t exactly subtle.” Violet pointed out.
CLUNK! CLUNK! CLANG! The peg leg hit something metal. “What was that?” Sunny asked.
“It looks like a metal connector. I read about them in a book about engineering.” Klaus explained.
“Yes, I use them sometimes in my inventions. They can hold things together but can also open and let things separate.” Violet added.
“Atlantis!” Beatrice shrieked, which meant “So the jetty can break away from the island?”
“It seems so.” Lorenz said. “We should hope we aren’t on the jetty when that happens.”
Some superstitious people believe in ‘tempting fate’, the idea that if you say something like “We should hope we aren’t on the jetty when that happens”, you will definitely be on the jetty when that happens. Fortunately, this is just superstition. Lorenz will not be on the jetty when it breaks away from the island. But someone in this group will.
|
|
|
Post by Tiran O'Saurus on Apr 14, 2022 8:51:19 GMT -5
Ah, I think it has been some time since a continuation of the main series was posted. I think you embodied the Snicket style while still maintaining your own unique twist quite well. I feel like most attempts to continue the series end after a couple chapters, with the main exception being Tiago James Squalor's Yet Another Series of Unfortunate Events. I'd be curious what you think my style is, I'm just trying to copy Snicket's. Chapter 6: Eventually the volunteers reached the end of the jetty. “Shiver me timbers! Who goes there?” cried a voice from the ship. “Beverly.” Violet said. “Elliot.” Klaus said. “Chabo.” Sunny chose. “Er…” Beatrice stuterred. “Her name is Shirley T. Sinot-Pecer.” Omar improvised, “and I am Captain Julia Sham.” “I am first mate O. Rucamont.” Lorenz decided. “What are you doing near my ship?” The voice, which they recognized as Captain Clockwise, questioned. “Headquarters says we need to join your crew. Our ship sank, you see.” “Well then, all aboard!” Days passed, and the volunteers fell into a routine. They’d sail around in circuitous, a word which here means circular, patterns looking for ships. Then they’d dock at the base, which they learned was called New Finland, and eat at the canteen before sleeping in their bunks. Usually they didn’t find any ships, but one time they did. “Ship ahoy!” called Klaus, who had become quite adept at using the spyglass. “Well spotted, Elliot. Beverly, fire the cannons!” Aino Clockwise yelled. Violet used the mechanical devices to knock a hole in the targeted ship. “Chabo, Julia, Rucamont, board the ship! Shirley, stay here with me.” Sunny, Omar, and Lorenz swung over to the ship; a small transport vessel that belonged to the postal service. Omar and Lorenz grabbed some big packages to bring back to the Hera, but Sunny found a letter addressed to “The Baudelaire Children, The Ocean, Earth”, which she slipped under her bandana. I would like to tell you this letter contained anything useful, but I must be honest.
|
|
|
Post by Tiran O'Saurus on Apr 14, 2022 9:14:58 GMT -5
I think Lemony writes exclusively with typewriter. He mentions in one of the books writing with an oversized pen.
|
|
|
Post by Tiran O'Saurus on Apr 18, 2022 6:40:29 GMT -5
Chapter 7:
Once they’d returned to shore, the Baudelaires went to their bunks and discussed the day. “Was it the right thing to do, sinking that ship?” Violet wondered.
“I didn’t see anyone on it. I think it was mostly automated.” Sunny said.
“Besides, we had to do it in order to return to the mainland.” Klaus added.
“Did we? I’m not sure if becoming pirates is helping us.” Violet said.
“Palpateen!” Beatrice shrieked, which meant “Omar has a plan.”
“While I was on the boat, I found this.” Sunny revealed. She showed her siblings and Beatrice the letter. Using her sharp teeth, she opened it. I have included a copy that I managed to acquire at great personal risk.
Dear Baudelaires:
Let’s not play ring around the rosie. We, VFD, are willing to secretly provide you with information involving your place in our organization. We are hopeful you’ll honor your families traditions and not work for enemies of our organization. Any questions? Give us a ring.
“Huh?” Beatrice asked, which meant “What does any of that mean?”
“I think it’s in code.” Klaus said, “but we don’t have the key.”
“There might be some code books in the pirate’s treasure vault.” Violet said.
“I’ll go there. You should get some sleep.” Klaus said.
Priorities are things that are important. Sleep is usually a priority, but in this case that should have been the least of the Baudelaires concerns.
|
|
|
Post by HAL 10,000 on Apr 18, 2022 22:50:04 GMT -5
Can't wait to find out what happens next. Also, love the Palpatine reference.
|
|
|
Post by Tiran O'Saurus on Apr 20, 2022 7:52:12 GMT -5
Chapter 8:
When Violet, Sunny, and Beatrice woke up, Klaus was still not in the room. “He’s probably still researching. Let’s go say good morning.” Violet said. They walked down the stairs of the building until they reached the vault in the basement.
“Klaus? Er.. I mean ‘Elliot?’” Violet asked. There was no response, a word which here means “answer”. They saw a book called Veils For Dictation: Secret Codes for Writing.
“VFD” Sunny said. Next to the book was the letter. Klaus had circled the words “around” “you” “are” and “enemies”.
“We’re surrounded by enemies?” Violet asked.
“Yes, you are.” said a voice from the shadows. Aino Clockwise walked into the room. “You three volunteers can join your friend.” She drew a cutlass, which is a kind of sword that is extra pointy, and led them out of the building. They walked down one of the long jetties until they reached the very end, where Klaus was tied to a tall wooden pole. Another pirate was guarding him.
“You are not female, Finnish, or a pirate. Good riddance.” The pirate walked down the jetty until their peg leg clanged on the metal connector. Aino Clockwise traveled along the jetty until she stood next to the other pirate. She fiddled with the connector, and the jetty was jettisoned, a word which here means “thrown away from New Finland at surprising speed for a long strip of rocks.”
“Why aren’t we sinking?” Sunny asked.
“Our momentum is greater than our density. It’s the same way airplanes stay up.” Violet explained. “It won’t last long.” The gears in her brain started spinning as she tried to think of a way out of the situation. “Sunny, can you untie Klaus?”
“Yes.” she said, before biting at the ropes until Klaus was free. Violet took the rope and tied it around the long pole and her waist, and jumped into the water. She looked around for anything that could float, but there was very little underwater that was buoyant enough. In desperation, she grabbed a fish out of the water. Surfacing, she signaled to Beatrice to pull her out of the water. On land, she took the bandanas from Beatrice and Sunny, tying them together to make a rope. She then dove back down and tied the fish to the bottom of the jetty so that it would float.
“Well,” Klaus said to his sisters, “that’s one problem solved.”
|
|
|
Post by Tiran O'Saurus on Apr 22, 2022 8:39:05 GMT -5
Chapter 9:
In the nautical world of sailing, the phrase “in the doldrums” refers to when there is no wind and your boat just sits in the ocean, moving at the speed of a snail carrying a heavy object. One of the easiest ways to find yourself in the doldrums is to not have a sail on your watercraft, nor an engine, nor oars, nor some harnessed dolphins. The Baudelaires were in the doldrums on their fish-supported jetty, and they were starting to see the first bad sign to see on a boat.
“We’re out of food.” Sunny said dejectedly.
“I could use the pole and rope to invent a fishing rod.” Violet said.
“There’s no bait.” Sunny pointed out.
“And no land in sight.” Klaus added.
“What would we do if we reached land, anyway? We’re wanted criminals, everyone we know either was in the Hotel Denouement when it burned or is now in the Great Unknown, and any remaining VFD members will blame us for destroying the hotel.” Violet added.
“The High Court is still controlled by that man with a beard and that woman with hair. Olaf may be dead, but there’s still a possibility that Hugo, Colette, Kevin, Esme, or Carmilita are still alive. You are still two years from inheriting the Baudelaire fortune.” Klaus said.
“The last time we saw Mr. Poe, he was investigating a bank robbery. There’s a real possibility we don’t have any money.” Sunny added.
“A group of pirates will kill us if they know we’re alive, a giant question mark ate our friends for no real reason and might get us, we’ve made a lot of enemies and very few friends.” Violet said.
There is a school of thought known as pessimism, which states that everything will turn out miserably in the end. If a pessimist received free tickets to a race track, they’d probably say “There’ll be an accident there, mark my word.” whilst a normal person would say “Ooooh! Free tickets!” The Baudelaires were getting close to becoming pessimists, and indeed I can tell you that by the end of this series one of their number will be gone and three of their number would treat their greatest success as a bittersweet occasion. So as the Baudelaires sat in the doldrums, they were too busy wallowing in their pessimism to notice the black sails of a pirate ship, the third bad thing to see at sea.
|
|
|
Post by HAL 10,000 on Apr 22, 2022 8:51:01 GMT -5
I wonder where this'll go from here.
|
|