Post by Charlie on Feb 28, 2013 3:48:38 GMT -5
Original idea by Akbar Le Grey
Editorial and stuff
By Charles
Sometimes life gives you lemons, and sometimes it just gives you a kick in the balls. Sometimes it gets creative and mixes the two together, which I’m sure must be awful. In other cases it gives you laziness, which ultimately ends up screwing up a magazine that’s released every month. I mean, not completely screwing up. But, basically, I left everything heaps late and now this issue is kinda quiet. Like the world here. Regardless of that though, I haven’t given up, and neither have any of the wonderful people who have contributed. We love having readers I’m sure, and it’s great when we get positive feedback. Also, just a reminder to send us a How Dare You, and a question to Pen. Yes, it is necessary, you totally don’t have a choice. Seriously, please, for me? Yeah, read on and enjoy. I’ve written some salsaty stuff for this month’s, and I promise I won’t be putting all this in again, but y’know. Stuff happens. Anyhow, read on, enjoy, comment for your life, get in contact if you wanna contribute some day etc. Have fun.
“Yep”
A short story by Charlie Snicket
One day there was a small boy who was a kitten, and he was all “I’m sad, because I have huge eyes which get really big when I get sad and all”. He was sad because the big dog next door had been all “shuddup”. Anyhow, the kitty ranned awayz, and this made his owners FD and TC very sad. They were very fond of their kitty, and stuff. So they made flyers. Meanwhile, the little kitty named Lucas was running awayz.
On his way he passed by some really hot dove who was all “Oh my gawd, I’m frickin hawt. Also, widdle kitty are you lost? Aww, ain’t you just the sweetest”.
Lucas replied with “OMG, you’re hawt ;D . Also, I’m running away from home because of some scary doggy that lives next door”.
“Aww, you’re cute. I’ll come with you, cause you’re just the sweetest little kitty”
“Actually I’m a froggie”
“” replied the dove who we can now reveal as Anka
Then Anka and Lucas got eaten by a big dog, who wasn’t BSam, but who was rumoured to be even funnier. And then they died. And BSam the dog and this hilarious other dog got loose, and ripped TC and FD’s throats out, before making passionate dog love.
Bee’s media review...
Buzz... yeah that’s the funniest filler I can think of. The bee was obviously reviewing the media coverage of the Oscars recently (you geddit, it was a buzz) Actually, it might have been reviewing the latest buzz. I don’t know, whatever. Anyhow, Bee was buzzy doing stuff, and hadn’t any media to review so this is here. This is going to be an overarching theme for the rest of this paper.
Lemona Expresses Displeasure:
Shortage of Words
This will be a short rant because of my current predicament. For the past few years, it seems – though it has probably been only a month - I have hardly been able to write two words without immediately deciding that there are at least sixty more interesting things I could be doing at the moment. My brain balks at the idea of having to construct sentences, and insists that it is totally unrealistic for me to expect it to. In writing those first 79 words of this rant, I have been sized twice with an urge to turn on the radio sitting near me, once with an idea to check the Oscars (that notion soon passed) and four times to log onto 667.
Getting sentences out of my mind is like getting blood from a stone right now, and the only words that will flow are complaints about the situation (hence my rant topic). Today is exceedingly hot, and the weather makes me feel stupid and sleepy and distracted, but I’m fairly sure my writer’s block would be here anyway. When I write under normal
Sorry about that. I was suddenly eager to eat a meal I wasn’t hungry for. Where was I?
When I write under normal circumstances, the words usually come without too much agony. Being happy with the words is another story, as I generally insult myself very thoroughly as I rewrite and proofread. I don’t often lose all ability to put any writing together, though. I guessing most people who write creatively get complete blocks from time to time. I just remembered that my mirror needs to be cleaned, and that I haven’t messed around on Photoshop for nearly twenty minutes, so I had better finish this article right now.
Lemona
BSam’s serial whatever... hmm
Yep, this isn’t happening it seems. Maybe tune in next time
Anonymous Affairs
Our Lurker has decided not to post an article this month, to stick to the theme of our newspaper or something. Something like that...
Bubblegum Nightmare
Emptiness
Yeah. Emptiness is this month’s theme. Emptiness of mind, heart, soul... newspaper. I feel empty sometimes. I would define myself as a terribly cynical person who pretends to be interested a lot. That makes me feel empty. Other things make me feel empty, like hunger. I don’t like it. I feel the need to eat more and more these days, which is both good and bad. Good because eating is fun, and bad because... oh wait, don’t worry. Two minute noodles are pretty much my favourite food. That makes me feel empty of character. My voice is apparently a monotone, ie. Empty of intonation. Luckily for all of us, 667 is not empty. It’s vast, but not empty. Which is nice. It felt kinda empty without Lucas. Which is why it’s nice to have him back (hoorah). This column is empty of interesting content, or humour or anything. Yeah, so that’s okay. Apparently Lauren Conrad’s head is empty (I will never forgive you; I’ll even commit libel in order to spite you– grr). Anywho, how is anyone. Having fun? Okay, good. Enjoy.
F.D.’S ADVICE COLUMN
Oh, wait! I have no questions and no one to help!
You guys suck big time. And here’s why:
1-I have no questions in my inbox.
2-I have to make this stupid list to replace my column.
3- You guys let me and the 667er down.
4-C’mon, we’re trying to do something cool here and you guys do this? Really?
5- You guys really suck.
6- I’m running out of ideas.
7-I wouldn’t be if you sent me a stupid little question. Like seriously, guys.
8-Couldn’t you all just show support and help out on something this one time? Jeez.
9- Uh. You really suck.
10- Pretty much that.
11- So much.
12- Look what you’ve made me do.
13- There. 13 reasons. This is now Snickety.
Guest Artist
DH as a Penguin Yo- By Charles (ugh I can't draw okay)
How Dare you! (we totally got one )
Willis,
How dare you not assume that Tryina is not me! You all may think I left, but no. I lurk ever in the shadows. It was a dangerous mistake for you to assume that I am not involved in any activities of mysterious members on this forum.
I pray you do not make that same mistake again.
Kind regards,
warner (Ed- It was some user named "Superblindguy)
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Please send Pen a question! He needs to be flooded with questions, because your effort last month was pathetic. You guys should be ashamed of yourselves. PLEASE
~~~
Please read TDP! It's really good, and everyone there tries really hard. It's awesome, and we need to be supportive of Mister's efforts over there. It doesn't matter if you haven't read his fic, you can still read TDP (I mean, it totally matters, and I'll force you to, but it doesn't really change TDP). PLEASE
~~~
Please send in a How Dare You!! We got one this time which was a bloody miracle, but I don't think we'll survive without fresh edgy content. Just take a moment of your time to write something funny. PLEASE
ASSORTED ARTICLES
Anyone who’s anywhere on 667 Dark Avenue these days, has surely not failed to notice the frequent Skype and Google+ hangouts taking place away from the board- and you certainly don’t need an account on either of these services to know this. Members of 667 have almost always kept in touch outside of Dark Avenue, but it is only now that we see members openly discussing this.
As result in-jokes have unavoidably sprung up, which some argue takes away the all-inclusive spirit of the board. However many people view these face-to-face gatherings as a positive chance to get to know people better and just have fun, whilst still others view it as unfair exclusion of people unable to participate. I’m also sure plenty of people are neutral on the subject- though I couldn’t find any of those to talk to. Wow, I suck.
In an attempt to present the varied opinions of members across 667, I metaphorically invited four members with diverse opinions to metaphorically join me for metaphorical tea and scones as they metaphorically discussed their opinions with me. Or they could just have literally discussed their opinions with me over a hangout. You guys need to add me.
Anyway, now that I have made my personal opinions clear above; I now present the results of my interviews. What follows, I’m sure you’ll agree, is very interesting and somewhat controversial as well as being agreeable/disagreeable depending on your stance(s) on this issue.
The conclusions we can draw from this, I’ll leave up to you. Perhaps we can all take something from the opinions expressed below, or- Twist!- perhaps this article is just meaningless filler.
-Bee
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The 667er: What do you think, in general of the group Skype conferences and google+ hangouts that frequently take place between forum members?
Terry Craig: I would be fine with those if its participants would keep the conversations they create on Skype or Google+ where they started them. The way they are just continued in the forums now could be compared to going over to a friend's house with a mutual friend you met up with earlier, and keeping on talking with each other at the third friend's house, not including him/her at all.
It would be also fine if they explained what they were talking about on Skype (or any inside jokes they made) prior to continuing it on 667 to anyone else reading. Otherwise it's just rude.
Bryan: The hangouts are a great way for us to talk to each other. The site is really unique in the sense that we can do that. I doubt it's often that strangers come together online and actually become friends. It's interesting to see that people on the Internet can actually be real life friends without killing or raping each other.
Pen: I used to be against it, but truth is I was just upset I couldn't join.
Anka: I have participated three times and it was awesome. It's great to see the people and hear them talk and not just to read their posts. I have a timezone problem though, and I don't like when there are spontaneous skype things and I don't even know that they happen until they are over, or when the awesome people come just after I left.
The 667er: Why are you opposed/in favour of Skype/Google+ hangouts?
Terry Craig: I'm in favour of building a stronger bond between forum members, and having a good ole time. I'm against creating a d*ckish elite, or "mafia," as F.D. would say, with the hangouts/chats.
Bryan: Oops I guess I already answered that. But like I said, it's unique that someone can actually make real friends from a message board on the Internet. Why should we not take advantage of that? Also they're fun probably.
Pen: I don't think I'm either of those. I'm pretty neutral about it now.
Anka: I'm in favour of them because it's fun and it gives me the feeling of knowing people better than just in the forum. After the video chats I liked most people even more than before.
The 667er: Do you think it’s absolutely necessary for 667 to be the centre of all board activity? Why or why not?
Terry Craig: When you say "board activity," do you mean "activity on 667"? Then yes, I would think 667 should be the centre of 667 activity. If people chill out with each other outside of 667, that's cool too, but I wouldn't consider it "board activity" anymore.
Bryan: No. It's not like there's a law stating that only fun can be had on the boards. If talking to people face to face is more fun for you then do that.
Pen: Yes. Otherwise, what will boards like MMisc and Our Wicked World become? And members who don't video chat should be able to talk with other members here too.
Anka: No. Because it's the same that happens in real life. We met in the forum because we liked the same books, like people who meet in music or sport classes because they share a hobby. And like in those groups it's normal and good that people become friends with each other and want to see and talk to each other more often in different surroundings than the hobbies they share. Unfortunately we only met in the internet and we are living all over the globe, so we can't all meet in person, so Skype or google+ are the closest we can get for most of us.
The 667er: Do you think there is a general trend in the people who participate most frequently in skype and google+ hangouts? Does this show anything in particular?
Terry Craig: As an outsider, I noticed it usually involves BSam, Willis, Pandora, Michelle, Sophie, Rellim, and Charlie. But Michelle, Sophie and Rellim don't belong to the "mafia." So with the exception of Charlie those are all rather old members (and I guess older people compared to other 667ers), which adds to the distance they put on themselves to the forum. That gives one more of an understanding why they would form an elite I guess. (But at least BSam explained on one occasion something Pandora posted though.)
Bryan: Well everyone has been trying to be pretty inclusive. I think BSam suggested saying what time would best for you and then that others would try to work around that schedule. Maybe it was Pandora I don't know. But anyway no one says "NO YOU CAN'T COME." Some people like Sam, Willis, Pandora, and Betsy are on more than others because... I don't know. They're probably more used to it, and have been doing it longer than others here have. I don't see a problem with that.
Pen: Hmm, kinda. If you are talking about Willis/BSam/Pan/Betsy, they are all older members who are known for being funny. I don't know if it shows anything.
Anka: Of course there are a few people who are there most times. Probably because there was that TV club thing, and they brought Skype to 667, and because they are often the organizers and the ones who start the calls.
The 667er: What about these “inside jokes”? Are they really such a bad thing, or do you believe it necessary to include everyone?
Terry Craig: They're not so bad as long as they're referenced passingly and in small quantities in posts that talk about other (inside-667) things as well. When you go on creating whole threads adressed only to those that are "included," or repeatedly make posts just saying "WF ARF TFAM" or some salsa, that's when you know you're being a d*ck.
Bryan: I mean of course people feel left out when they're not in on a joke but the only time it's cruel is when is when the jokers make an active effort to keep the one feeling hurt in the dark. No one's doing that. ERRYBODY IS INVITED.
Pen: Yes. Yes they are. Everyone should be able to understand what's going on. At least give us some context. I say we should keep inside jokes out of 667 DA.
Anka: They are not generally a bad thing, but if it gets too much, they are. Also I don't like when the people who were there and understand the inside jokes make fun of those who take the threads and questions seriously, just because they missed it.
The 667er: Anything else you’d like to add?
Terry Craig: Love you, Panny wanny!
Bryan: I love you.
Pen: BSam, Willis, Pandora, stop being so damn judgmental! You're no better then us.
Anka: Not at midnight... Maybe tomorrow, if that's not too late to be included in the article.
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Note: All responses from interviewees were 100% unedited so as to reflect their true opinions.
A Heartfelt letter- By Anka
Also dear readers, but especially dear writers of the 667er,
Before the first issue of the revived 667er was published, our awesome editor in chief, Charlie Snicket, asked me to be the proofreader. I thought it would be fun, because I could read it all before anyone else can (except Charlie and the people who wrote it) and because I like correcting other people, and because it would be a funny fact if one of the members whose native language isn't English is the proofreader, and because I just thought it's a cool job.
But after two issues I'm extremely disappointed by the writers. The first time it was still okay, but this time I only had to add three commas, and two of them were not even necessary, I just liked the sentence more with them than without.
Are you kidding me? Who do you think you are? I thought nobody's perfect, and people make mistakes, that's human, and all that stuff people always tell! And you think you can give me these articles and interviews and stories and rants and other things without any mistakes? That's absolutely inappropriate! You can't expect me to do something useful for real life or even sleep instead of correcting your mistakes in the middle of the night, just because you're too assiduous to not do your work properly!
I know, you have read too many books to make mistakes, and there are things like spell check in computers, but that's no excuse. I never want to see something like this again, especially not in the next issue of the 667er.
Stop being perfect! Be people!
With all due respect,
Anka
Hey guys, hope you enjoyed. To be deathly serious, Pen does need some advicey question thingies, we need a How Dare You! , and some volunteers for articles/ guest creatives would be nice.