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Post by champ103 on Feb 20, 2005 14:01:45 GMT -5
Becuase it's the final this week, we want more people to see it. Because people who haven't previously taken an interest in the 667 Factor, and don't want to read through eleven pages, here's a thread for it, where the final poems will be posted, and where we'll crown the winner in six days time. _____ Our three finalists: Hikori, Mamba and Scar. This week, things will be harder and more time consuming. In the space of six days, you will write THREE poems. Each poem will have a theme, chosen by each judge. Two must be in before Thursday the 24th of Febuary. That day, our three finalists will be cut down to just TWO until Saturday, when your final poem of the 667 Factor must be in for, and we'll crown the winner. For Thursday, you must write two poems: -One, chosen by Pucca. You must write a poem about your judge. Rememebering the rule, it must be over 10 lines if it's a poem, a verse and a chorus if it's a song. -Two, chosen by Dupin. You must write a free verse poem. About anything you want, in any style you want. Soidanae's will be revealed later in the week, for the two final contestants. TO VOTE HIKORI AS THE WINNER, PM KIMIA WITH 'HIKORI' TO VOTE MAMBA AS THE WINNER, PM KIMIA WITH 'MAMBA' TO VOTE SCAR AS THE WINNER, PM KIMIA WITH 'SCAR' Good luck, the vote lines open now. Vote here
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Post by trish on Feb 20, 2005 21:02:28 GMT -5
Oops, just posted this in the original thread. I'll edit this post later with my Dupin poem.
Train Tracks
We're like trains Running on train tracks And get the chance To break away We run out of fuel And wander lost We run on steam Come to a stop And think about trains The way we ought to We run on train tracks The same each day.
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Hikori
Catastrophic Captain
Man of Mystery
Posts: 54
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Post by Hikori on Feb 20, 2005 21:10:37 GMT -5
A World Of Imperfections -
Open your eyes and look at the world Not everything is as it seems… In a place so perfect and a mind so clear Not everything is as it seems…
When the curtains rise and the light shines through All truth can be revealed… Your perfect world in your thoughtful mind All truth can be revealed…
As day turns to night and night turns to day The tears of arrogance fall… Now is the time to start your journey The tears of arrogance fall…
As it comes to an end, with one last gasping breath This world is not what it seems… And it is then you realize before the curtains close This world is not what it seems…
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Post by champ103 on Feb 21, 2005 12:12:57 GMT -5
Great jobs both of you!
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Post by Soidanae on Feb 22, 2005 9:18:43 GMT -5
Hikori's sounds like it could be easily converted into a very good song. It was well written.
Scar's did too mcuh telling, and not enough showing. While it's a potentially powerful metaphor, it didn't get done to justice.
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Post by Pucca on Feb 22, 2005 15:35:30 GMT -5
As George said, great jobs!
Trish, lovely piece. Lots of thought gone into it and a very good finish.
Hikori has really put some effort into this piece and I think it really shows. I enjoyed reading it.
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Post by MambaduMal on Feb 22, 2005 22:53:53 GMT -5
FREEVERSE SONG (My first X-Factor entry that I didn't write specifically for X-Factor.) This is my freeverse song it has no rhyme or reason or meter there to speak of, there’s no tune in my head I only write these words with the hope that it will someday grow into a song tree with all my inspiration there I wait in silence while the universe surrounds me a hum of voices enveloped in a strain of Om I’m looking deep inside me to try to find a story, a story that is worthy of being placed here on this paper where all my dreams are shared and torn apart when I can’t take it anymore this is my freeverse song it’s a keyhole to my thoughts but if you want to find the door I suggest you listen closer and read between the lines I want to see how far you go and maybe I can meet you there beneath my song tree here in my freeverse song. *** YOUNG GEORGE (Sorry Dupin... the idea struck, so I had to write it ) One summer, young George, (as a child of five) In a month of perpetual rain Endeavors to build a Great Spaceship Device (So he’ll never be rained-in again.) He cavorts through the house, a notebook in hand Collecting some Great Spaceship Parts Such as broomsticks and jam, an old tin of ham And a mower that no longer starts. His Nanny just chuckles, “Oh, Georgie.” Our protagonist pays her no heed. Some scissors, some tape, and a strainer Are the final three items he needs. George labors all morning, no stopping Checks each lever and pressure gauge twice And by teatime, his marvel’s completed: The World’s Greatest Spaceship Device. But before he can rev up the engine His Nanny calls “George!” up the stairs. “Young George, go and look out the window The rain’s gone, and the weather turned fair!” So the Spaceship Device lies forgotten George frolics outside on the lawn But if ever he’s absent from supper, We’ll know where Young Georgie has gone. ***
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Post by Soidanae on Feb 22, 2005 22:58:59 GMT -5
That reminds me a lot of Shel Silverstein.
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Post by xangelkimzx on Feb 24, 2005 14:22:58 GMT -5
Eeeek... here are the results, of who's going and who's staying... With the most votes, Mamba is staying. Which the second most amount of votes, Hikori is staying. Which means, I'm afraid, that Trish is out. Sorry, Trish. You were awesome.
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Post by champ103 on Feb 24, 2005 14:27:40 GMT -5
Oh. ):
Trish, you did so well, you're very talented, and you came in third place. You've done great. (:
Well done Mamba and Hikori, you are our two finalists. The votes are now refreshed, so everyone votes again, you both have no votes.
Your last poem was chosen by Soidanae, and the theme is:
The contestants must write a happy poem, focusing on how good and merry life is.
Good luck. On Sunday we will find out whether the winner is Mamba or Hikori.
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Hikori
Catastrophic Captain
Man of Mystery
Posts: 54
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Post by Hikori on Feb 26, 2005 11:08:44 GMT -5
No matter how dark the tunnel may be There’s always a light at the end
A light that shows you the greatness of life A light that teaches you to mend
With the laughs, cries, screaming and good times Comes a greater power than hope
A light that shows you how good things are A light that teaches you to cope
You may choose to be miserable, or choose to be great It’s up to the light inside
A light that shows the truth within A light that teaches to leave all behind
No matter how dark your life can get The light will pull you through
A light that shows you the positives in all A light that teaches things new
This light is like a breath of fresh air It gives those pinches on the cheeks
This light is something I’ve never had And I haven’t breathed in weeks
well...here's my entry...after reading and constantly rereading Soidanae's theme, my poem doesn't really go along the exact lines of it...but...eh whatever.
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Post by champ103 on Feb 26, 2005 13:11:19 GMT -5
Nice poem Hikori!
I realize I said Saturday in the first post, but I mean Sunday. Results in tomorrow.
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Post by Soidanae on Feb 26, 2005 18:45:45 GMT -5
It's close enough to the theme-but I have some problems with the rhythm and so forth.
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Post by MambaduMal on Feb 27, 2005 0:34:52 GMT -5
This song has a tune to it that I wish I could convey here... hopefully it still looks good without the music... enjoy. *** DANCING IN THE GRAVEYARD It’s a beautiful night in the graveyard The moon is shimmering bright The air is clear and devoid of fear Won’t you dance with me tonight? Dancing in the graveyard Cemetery song Better live our lives to the fullest Before we’re dead and gone. When the air is heavy with spirits And the trees are gold and green The world is veiled in recollection Silent and serene. Leaning on a tombstone Panpipes ride the breeze Incense floats on wilted roses The whole world rests in peace. It’s a heavenly night in the graveyard Ghost bells hourly chime The sky is sparked with constellation The wind is tinged with thyme. Standing on a headstone Cryptic eulogy Make a sign of recognition For your dear deceased. It’s a glorious night in the churchyard The storm winds slithering through Pause and listen, see what you’re missin’ I’m dying to dance with you. Dancing in the graveyard Cemetery song Better live our lives to the fullest Before we’re dead and gone.
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Post by champ103 on Feb 27, 2005 3:49:31 GMT -5
Wow, another great poem, Mamba! The rhythm was pretty much perfect, it was just off in a few places.
Tonight we will discover the winner, whether Hikori or MambaduMal will become the champion of the 667 Factor. Get your votes in!
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