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Post by bandit on Apr 11, 2014 18:43:08 GMT -5
As I'm sure you've noticed, there's a bunch of old fogeys here getting excited about the "Darkies" for some reason. In my opinion the ceremony is both cliché and mildly racist, which is why I'd like to introduce a brand new alternative concept called the Bandies.
The Bandies are like nothing you've seen before. Simultaneously relevant like Ms. Pacman and underground like an Elvis painting, the Bandies are original; authentic; actual; true; and 100% bona fide. The Bandies go a hundred miles an hour, they scream dynamite, and most importantly, they get their power from the sun. You may be asking yourself, how can I get in on this gooey goodness? How can I make my mouth go snap, crackle, and pop? Well, the answer may surprise you.
The Bandies, while the origin of their name may be unknown, are not a secretive concept. So here's how it works: from 17 May to 31 December in the year of 2014, the Bandies will rage on. After all, an award ceremony cannot truly encompass the year in their title if it doesn't take into consideration everything following First Day as well as events before First Day. What's that, you say? That was a poorly-worded sentence?
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Post by Poe's Coats Host Toast on Apr 11, 2014 19:03:54 GMT -5
Bandit, if everything else fails, you'll still have a surefire career in copywriting to fall back on.
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Post by penne on Apr 11, 2014 19:06:40 GMT -5
Well, you got my attention.
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Post by Charles Vane on Apr 11, 2014 23:18:52 GMT -5
bandies is the cutest name i have ever heard.
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Post by Charles Vane on Apr 11, 2014 23:19:10 GMT -5
also you had me at mildly racist.
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Post by soufflé on Apr 11, 2014 23:37:47 GMT -5
now this is something i can get pumped for
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Post by bandit on Apr 20, 2014 0:46:22 GMT -5
Alas! What's this? Have the 2014 Bandies lost their traction before they've even started? Despite the fact that it's nearly a month away, this award ceremony still deserves a reasonable amount of "ooh"s and "aah"s, if only to make it as underwhelming as possible by 17 May! Therefore, the anonymous host of the Bandies has issued a statement to the general public. He is extremely disappointed in the lack of hype, and has proposed a competition to be put into place. The prize? A brand new first edition of Lemony Snicket's File Under: 13 Suspicious Incidents, delivered right to your doorstep, unless you don't have one, or your local mail deliverer puts it somewhere else!
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa??? Indeed, it will be thrilling! Action-packed! There will be jealousy, deceit, and bonds made/broken! There will be laughter, tears, and blood! It will be like an episode of The Newlywed Game, if the newlyweds were simply given axes and told to slaughter each other for 25 minutes while Bob Eubanks threw rocks at them from behind the set!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa??? Yes, there are a few requirements! You need to be at least 13 years of age! You need to live in the Western Hemisphere! You need to float like a butterfly, sting like a bee, and have the eye of the tiger! Of course, there's nothing stopping you from participating if you don't fit these requirements, but you won't be able to win the fun fun prize!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat??? That's right, it's a very simple game! To beat your opponents, all you need to do is participate! But remember-- it's completely confined to this thread! And there's only one judge of your actions-- the anonymous host of the Bandies!
Good luck.
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Post by Teleram on Apr 20, 2014 0:52:19 GMT -5
I'll participate
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Post by The Duchess on Apr 20, 2014 7:39:41 GMT -5
Me too
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Post by penne on Apr 20, 2014 8:29:48 GMT -5
okay, I'm in even though I don't understand it that well. Will we be given more information or is this it?
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Post by B. on Apr 20, 2014 9:00:42 GMT -5
Are you counting the united kingdom as 'the western hemisphere'?
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Post by bandit on Apr 20, 2014 13:00:34 GMT -5
Oh right. For reference, this is the Western Hemisphere: So, most of the UK is qualified.
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Post by Kit's tits kick ticks on Apr 20, 2014 13:04:35 GMT -5
I don't understand any of this thread, but apparently I'm too far east anyway.
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Post by soufflé on Apr 20, 2014 13:58:18 GMT -5
I'm in
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Post by Poe's Coats Host Toast on Apr 20, 2014 18:49:43 GMT -5
This sounds like a blast, I'm in.
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