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Post by bandit on May 18, 2015 21:17:05 GMT -5
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Post by soufflé on May 18, 2015 21:24:14 GMT -5
omg so pumped
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Post by bandit on May 19, 2015 13:32:02 GMT -5
CASE FILE: LINDA RHALDEEN When the average person hears the word “reptoid”, it is most likely that they will picture a bodybuilder doing push-ups and sorting through McDonald’s Happy Meals, or a sinister politician with a fictitious surname. This is because the so-called “truth” of the matter is far too disturbing for the public-- according to some. Deep in the glowing, triangular eye of the United States of America, there is a fringe group of individuals that have devoted their lives to the study of conspiracies. More specifically, the reptoid overlords that have ruled this world for thousands of years. This reporter sat down with Linda Rhaldeen, a prominent figure in the reptoid awareness movement. Linda Rhaldeen: My birth name is Megan, but I have adopted this anagrammatic nom de guerre in order to hide from the watchful eye of the lizard men. Earnest Investigator: Anagrammatic? Do tell. LR: Well, Linda Rhaldeen is actually the name “Daniel Handler” with the letters rearranged. Daniel Handler is a mildly famous Jew. EI: I see. So, Linda, tell me what you do. LR: Well, Earnest-- EI: Actually, “earnest” is an adjective in this instance, not a name. LR: How intriguing. Anyway, I used to be a non-believer. But about five years ago, I ran into Steve at a bar. Since then he’s shown me the light, and I’ve become Steve’s full-time manager and publicity agent. EI: Tell me, who is this Steve? LR: Steve is a lizard man. EI: ... LR: ... EI: Oh. LR: So anyway, on our first date Steve took me to his underground lair. There were lizard men everywhere. EI: From what I’ve heard, these reptoids seem to be cruel and manipulating dictators of the human race. Weren’t you ever concerned for your well-being when you spent time with… Steve? LR: Oh, no. Steve is a softie. If he wasn’t so shy, I would probably have him do this interview instead. EI: This is not unusual, then? LR: Well, it’s a slippery slope. I’m constantly finding new gigs for Steve and his lizardness, but he’ll only agree to about half of them… I think there’s something uncomfortable for him about holding up a dollar bill and explaining to everyone that the eye at the top of the pyramid has lizard scales. It just makes him so meek. Because of this, yes, I generally end up acting as his representative. If Steve hasn’t lost his tail in a long while and he’s feeling particularly chipper, he might go for 60 interviews in a month, but unfortunately, it’s down to 40 most of the time. EI: Wow, 40 interviews a month. That many people are willing to interview a lizard man? LR: You’re flattering me! The number would not be that high with anyone else, but I’ve just got that je ne sais quoi. As a matter of fact, some people on the Internet gave me a “Best Organizer” award once. EI: Cool beans! LR: Thank you. EI: Just one more question before I head off. Who do you think would win in a fight between fifty steroid-addled reptoids and the Burger King on… LR: Oh no, I think Steve is calling me. This reporter then watched in awe as Linda floated majestically out of the room with a hand cupped to her ear. Not wanting to intrude, I donned a ghillie suit and sneaked out through the backyard.
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Post by B. on May 19, 2015 14:59:42 GMT -5
Along with this and Wicked its really nice to see some original 667 fiction
four for you
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Post by Hermes on May 19, 2015 15:04:29 GMT -5
I don't think I understand enough of the background to this, but it's certainly exciting so far.
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Post by Teleram on May 19, 2015 19:56:09 GMT -5
I think I would like this project better if I weren't for its self-aware sense of humour. Despite the intriguing premise which you go absolutely ANY direction with and the promising new interpretation of Linda I think the whole thing was bogged down by its sense of humour which just seems to me like a big, self-satisfied wink at the reader.
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Post by penne on May 19, 2015 20:04:09 GMT -5
your whole analysis seems to me like a big, self-satisfied wink at yourself
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Post by Teleram on May 19, 2015 20:08:24 GMT -5
How?
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Post by bandit on May 19, 2015 20:17:45 GMT -5
I think I would like this project better if I weren't for its self-aware sense of humour. Despite the intriguing premise which you go absolutely ANY direction with and the promising new interpretation of Linda I think the whole thing was bogged down by its sense of humour which just seems to me like a big, self-satisfied wink at the reader. I expect an essay next time
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Post by Linda Rhaldeen on May 19, 2015 20:52:32 GMT -5
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Post by Poe's Coats Host Toast on May 19, 2015 20:53:35 GMT -5
I knew I was on to something when I said "#BestConspiracyTheorist"... I'm not expecting the whole story to be ultimately explained, but I'm interested to see where this is going.
Remember! Reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold, bye!
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Post by penne on May 19, 2015 20:55:40 GMT -5
^hopefully this explains "how" (edit: last post but ten! i meant bandit's comment.)
personally, i really like what this is going for and it's the first 667 fic that has managed to spark real interest in me in a while. looking foward for whatever comes next!
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Post by Kit's tits kick ticks on May 20, 2015 3:02:06 GMT -5
This gets the Most Confusing Thread award.
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Post by Linda Rhaldeen on May 20, 2015 8:58:16 GMT -5
it's the first 667 fic that has managed to spark real interest in me in a while.
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Post by B. on May 20, 2015 9:13:00 GMT -5
Fiction that is a big self satisfied wink at the reader, is the best kind of fiction, imo.
Isn't this a forum for fans of Daniel Handler's work or something?
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