The Rerevived 667er - B.S. Edition (Bear's Special Edition)
May 8, 2023 19:20:14 GMT -5
B., Poe's Coats Host Toast, and 5 more like this
Post by Reba on May 8, 2023 19:20:14 GMT -5
(This edition of the Rerererererevived 667er is presented by Bear for your consideration in the 2023 Semisteries under any and all categories.)
Original idea by Akbear Le Grey
Editor - Mister M
Designer - Bear
Cheerio, it’s your favourite editor Mister M, and YOU’re MY favouritte. I say that on everyone’s birthday, it’s a little joke of mine, even though you all disgust me. Especially those of you who sent me your 667er articles LATE — grrrrr. In fact you were all so late that this edition is coming out 7 years after the last one. Though perhpas that’s more due to whatever timey wimey stuff it took to make me the editor of the 667er again. Dinds’t I give this job to Lemona? It’s been yonks since I wrote one of these, but yes it IS called the editorial, Sophie!!! I’m the editor afterall. Oh bugger, here comes the first article already.
What’s up mageees, it’s your pal Soar the bus, otherwise known as Zero guts, Lord Zortegus, and Tom Marvolo Rodriguez. Other than inventing pseudonyms for myself, my favorite thing is, as everyone knows, Dreaming of Drag Queens. I mostly only know the Drag Queens from the famous tv show “Ready Set Drag Queen” hosted by Mr. Rupert. But occasionally I dream of other Drag Queens — weird ones, that maybe don’t even exist in real life? Like
KLAUS BOOTYLAIRE a bespectacled bookworm with a thicc booty, except she forgot to change her first name to something sexy? I’m sorry honey, you fail.
MRS. HOE A banker with a bad cough and a THICCCC AZZZ?? hoe no!
AUNTIE FLAUNTY Gurl, does the carpet match the drapes? Auntie Flaunty is a professional herpes-ologist and she also knows how to milk that SNAKE!!! Let’s get SNAKED!!!
JIGGLEY DRAGMIRE she jiggles when she wiggles, she disappeared in a catastrophic housefire, and she’s apparently one of the Dragmire TRIPLETS, but my Dream couldn’t think of funny names for the other two
Hello. Thank you very much for providing me with this column to discuss my crazy and weird theories related to the Series of Misadventures. What I'd like to discuss here is my biggest one yet, so please comment what you think. It has to do with the identity of the author, the so-called Lemony Snicket. I began my investigation with The Beatrice Letters... as I mentioned many times in the past, this is my favorite work in the Snicket universe. In fact, this was my least favorite job many years ago. I didn't want my love for the main series to be crushed by this supplemental material. And when I first opened this book, I was quite confused by the unusual format. All I saw was a cream colored paper tab. I didn't see how it could be considered a book. It was only after reading a brilliant post by our own Dante that I realized there was a codex of sorts within that tab. From the moment I found the book inside the flap, my love for this work really began. I couldn't help but feel that Lemony Snicket created this work just for me. There is more for the theory lover in The Beatrice Letters than in any other Lemony Snicket book. First of all, not everything seems to have been composed by Mr. Snicket. Some of the letters are written by a human named Beatrice. Well, I found this out about this human Beatrice: “Beatrice (/ˈbiː(ə)trɪs/; Italian: [beaˈtriːtʃe])[1] is a female name. The English variant is derived from the French Béatrice, which came from the Latin Beatrix, meaning "blessed". This confirms that Beatrice is a woman, and Lemony Snicket is naturally not a woman, so she must be someone else. I actually found this information on the Wikipedia.org website, and while I was there I thought I'd look into the derivation of the name Lemony Snicket as well. I quote: "Lemony Snicket is the pseudonym of American author Daniel Handler (born February 28, 1970)" Now who is this Daniel Handler? In fact, I concluded from this that, while The Beatrice Letters is ostensibly the work of two authors, Beatrice and Lemony, both are the inventions of another author in another universe, namely our universe, and he goes by the name of Daniel Handler. I'll be investigating this further, so please let me know what you think in this column.
667ers, you can call me Gargantuan Granny Munch. Of course that’s not my real name, and I’m not a breed of apple either. I’m protecting my identity because the erudite and controversial views that I will express herein, regarding the joy of washing dishes, may make me a few enemies.
Do we in 2023 really feel the joy of washing dishes? Many don’t wash their dishes at all, joyfully or otherwise — they lay their sloppy plates at the perverted altar of the Dishwasher, that conveniently symbolical contraption, whose introduction into our households coincided precisely with the loss of naive pleasure, primitive contemplation, hand-shaped latices, and the liquid of fairies.
Don’t believe poor old Granny Munch ?! Would you believe my betrothed, the old poor Grampa Knabbern? How he washes! How I dry! And vice versa, versus your vice, your eternally parchèd, porcelain-craving, steel-staining Wish-dasher.
Nay, MUNCH’s wishes are never dashed when her dishes are washed with opposable thumbs, and “YAY”, I say, when the suds bust lightly-scented bubbles in my basin, for the Natural Fill-er-Softers grant the pungentest laurels to Scent, among Senses, and the Senses are — in the opinion of one granny with a particularly crammed kitchen cupboard and a twenty kilo utensil drawer — little less than JOYBEARERS NONPAREIL.
Please contact me if you know another Granny of the sort, because the One I have in mind is about the weight of Ten such utensil drawers — in other words, Gargantuan — and her only name is MUNCH.
Cherish your brains, children, and think of dishes....
Hello, it’s Semblance.
I have been told that I am supposed to share my various sleeping positions in this column.
I was on the basement floor last night, trying to sleep, when I heard my mother speaking upstairs. I got quite paranoid thinking that she was speaking about me, and so I hid in the washing machine.
Later I fell asleep in the shower.
But my favorite place to sleep is on the window sill.
This way I can block anyone who attempts to climb in through the window, and I can jump out of the window if anyone comes into my room.
Also, I am NOT making the white power symbol.
Rest Pleasantly.
Advertisements
~ If anyone wants to contribute, you can PM me (Mister M) (I am Mister M)
~ The Next Edition of the 667er will be a Special Cemetery Mysteries Edition, in which we discover the coolest MYSTERIES in various CEMETERIES across the world.
~ The Special Edition will have nothing at all to do with the 2023 Semisteries.
~ You have one week to vote for your preferred Balls Award: asoue.proboards.com/thread/37822/balls-award-voting
Original idea by Akbear Le Grey
Editor - Mister M
Designer - Bear
Cheerio, it’s your favourite editor Mister M, and YOU’re MY favouritte. I say that on everyone’s birthday, it’s a little joke of mine, even though you all disgust me. Especially those of you who sent me your 667er articles LATE — grrrrr. In fact you were all so late that this edition is coming out 7 years after the last one. Though perhpas that’s more due to whatever timey wimey stuff it took to make me the editor of the 667er again. Dinds’t I give this job to Lemona? It’s been yonks since I wrote one of these, but yes it IS called the editorial, Sophie!!! I’m the editor afterall. Oh bugger, here comes the first article already.
***
What’s up mageees, it’s your pal Soar the bus, otherwise known as Zero guts, Lord Zortegus, and Tom Marvolo Rodriguez. Other than inventing pseudonyms for myself, my favorite thing is, as everyone knows, Dreaming of Drag Queens. I mostly only know the Drag Queens from the famous tv show “Ready Set Drag Queen” hosted by Mr. Rupert. But occasionally I dream of other Drag Queens — weird ones, that maybe don’t even exist in real life? Like
KLAUS BOOTYLAIRE a bespectacled bookworm with a thicc booty, except she forgot to change her first name to something sexy? I’m sorry honey, you fail.
MRS. HOE A banker with a bad cough and a THICCCC AZZZ?? hoe no!
AUNTIE FLAUNTY Gurl, does the carpet match the drapes? Auntie Flaunty is a professional herpes-ologist and she also knows how to milk that SNAKE!!! Let’s get SNAKED!!!
JIGGLEY DRAGMIRE she jiggles when she wiggles, she disappeared in a catastrophic housefire, and she’s apparently one of the Dragmire TRIPLETS, but my Dream couldn’t think of funny names for the other two
***
Hello. Thank you very much for providing me with this column to discuss my crazy and weird theories related to the Series of Misadventures. What I'd like to discuss here is my biggest one yet, so please comment what you think. It has to do with the identity of the author, the so-called Lemony Snicket. I began my investigation with The Beatrice Letters... as I mentioned many times in the past, this is my favorite work in the Snicket universe. In fact, this was my least favorite job many years ago. I didn't want my love for the main series to be crushed by this supplemental material. And when I first opened this book, I was quite confused by the unusual format. All I saw was a cream colored paper tab. I didn't see how it could be considered a book. It was only after reading a brilliant post by our own Dante that I realized there was a codex of sorts within that tab. From the moment I found the book inside the flap, my love for this work really began. I couldn't help but feel that Lemony Snicket created this work just for me. There is more for the theory lover in The Beatrice Letters than in any other Lemony Snicket book. First of all, not everything seems to have been composed by Mr. Snicket. Some of the letters are written by a human named Beatrice. Well, I found this out about this human Beatrice: “Beatrice (/ˈbiː(ə)trɪs/; Italian: [beaˈtriːtʃe])[1] is a female name. The English variant is derived from the French Béatrice, which came from the Latin Beatrix, meaning "blessed". This confirms that Beatrice is a woman, and Lemony Snicket is naturally not a woman, so she must be someone else. I actually found this information on the Wikipedia.org website, and while I was there I thought I'd look into the derivation of the name Lemony Snicket as well. I quote: "Lemony Snicket is the pseudonym of American author Daniel Handler (born February 28, 1970)" Now who is this Daniel Handler? In fact, I concluded from this that, while The Beatrice Letters is ostensibly the work of two authors, Beatrice and Lemony, both are the inventions of another author in another universe, namely our universe, and he goes by the name of Daniel Handler. I'll be investigating this further, so please let me know what you think in this column.
***
667ers, you can call me Gargantuan Granny Munch. Of course that’s not my real name, and I’m not a breed of apple either. I’m protecting my identity because the erudite and controversial views that I will express herein, regarding the joy of washing dishes, may make me a few enemies.
Do we in 2023 really feel the joy of washing dishes? Many don’t wash their dishes at all, joyfully or otherwise — they lay their sloppy plates at the perverted altar of the Dishwasher, that conveniently symbolical contraption, whose introduction into our households coincided precisely with the loss of naive pleasure, primitive contemplation, hand-shaped latices, and the liquid of fairies.
Don’t believe poor old Granny Munch ?! Would you believe my betrothed, the old poor Grampa Knabbern? How he washes! How I dry! And vice versa, versus your vice, your eternally parchèd, porcelain-craving, steel-staining Wish-dasher.
Nay, MUNCH’s wishes are never dashed when her dishes are washed with opposable thumbs, and “YAY”, I say, when the suds bust lightly-scented bubbles in my basin, for the Natural Fill-er-Softers grant the pungentest laurels to Scent, among Senses, and the Senses are — in the opinion of one granny with a particularly crammed kitchen cupboard and a twenty kilo utensil drawer — little less than JOYBEARERS NONPAREIL.
Please contact me if you know another Granny of the sort, because the One I have in mind is about the weight of Ten such utensil drawers — in other words, Gargantuan — and her only name is MUNCH.
Cherish your brains, children, and think of dishes....
***
Hello, it’s Semblance.
I have been told that I am supposed to share my various sleeping positions in this column.
I was on the basement floor last night, trying to sleep, when I heard my mother speaking upstairs. I got quite paranoid thinking that she was speaking about me, and so I hid in the washing machine.
Later I fell asleep in the shower.
But my favorite place to sleep is on the window sill.
This way I can block anyone who attempts to climb in through the window, and I can jump out of the window if anyone comes into my room.
Also, I am NOT making the white power symbol.
Rest Pleasantly.
***
Advertisements
~ If anyone wants to contribute, you can PM me (Mister M) (I am Mister M)
~ The Next Edition of the 667er will be a Special Cemetery Mysteries Edition, in which we discover the coolest MYSTERIES in various CEMETERIES across the world.
~ The Special Edition will have nothing at all to do with the 2023 Semisteries.
~ You have one week to vote for your preferred Balls Award: asoue.proboards.com/thread/37822/balls-award-voting