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Post by The Amazing...Spider-Man! on Jan 5, 2004 7:33:15 GMT -5
Dear reader, This is not a story about Count Olaf.This is a story about the 3 Baudelaire Children,seen through Count olaf's eyes.The Baudelaires will have a number of unlucky things happening to them throughout this story such as one bedroom between them,encountering a man with a lust for other peoples fortunes,itchy clothes,a terrible fire,a plan to steal their money and cold oatmeal for breakfast. I have to write about these unfortunate things which happen to the Baudelaires,but you don't have to read about them,so if i were you,i would read about something else,like ponies.
With all due respect, Lemony Snicket
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Post by jack2004 on Jan 5, 2004 7:38:00 GMT -5
GOOD!
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Post by The Amazing...Spider-Man! on Jan 5, 2004 8:10:53 GMT -5
C H A P T E R ONE
I am Count Olaf,the most handsome man on the planet.If you are a very good boy,throw away this book now because i would hate for my book,not Lemony Snicket's book or Daniel Handler's book,my book,to be read by sissies.On the other hand,if you are a bad boy and like reading about things like arson and prompted to commit arson by this book,then i give you my full approval to become an arsonist.
This story starts underneath the Baudelaire mansion.I opened the trapdoor which came out underneath their library.I lit a match and threw it in.Those books should get a fire started.I hope no-one survives except those Baudebrat children.I heard the roar of flames and shut the trapdoor with a creak.I heard a woman scream,then a man saying,"there's a trapdoor through here,Beatrice". I ran down the tunnel and heard the trapdoor open.My love,Esme,had prepared a rope for me.I climbed up the rope as she was pulling it up,which left the Baudelaire parents stranded with no way of getting up.Now to get back to my house,where my double agent,Mr Poe,will be sending the brats tommorow.
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Post by jack2004 on Jan 5, 2004 8:15:47 GMT -5
kl
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Post by The Amazing...Spider-Man! on Jan 5, 2004 8:18:10 GMT -5
thanks i'll write the second one tommorow
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Post by The Amazing...Spider-Man! on Jan 5, 2004 17:49:45 GMT -5
C H A P T E R TWO
I was eating cold oatmeal in my tower when a sound occurred,which was in the form of the knocker moving back and forth in a mild manner.I put my bowl down to be washed later and went down to see who it was.Maybe it is that annoying judge who lives next door.Only she would knock at this time of the morning.I opened the door and saw Mr Poe and the 3 Baudelaire children. "Hello,hello,hello."I said in my normal voice.I love my voice.It is elegant.That's what attracted Esme,my girlfriend,who i've planned many schemes and other stuff with."Hello,my children.Please step into your new home,and wipe your feet outside so no mud gets indoors." I saw them looking around in dismay. "This room looks like it needs a little work," Mr Poe said. "I realise my humble home isn't as fancy as the Baudelaire mansion," I said,"but perhaps with a bit of your money we could fix it up a little nicer." Mr Poe's eyes widened,and he coughed loudly before he spoke again. "The Baudelaire fortune," he said,"will not be used for such matters.In fact,it will not be used at all,until Violet is of age." I will thank Poe for this later.I had an evil glare on the outside but inwardly,I smirked.I swallowed and shrugged my shoulders to implicate the impression of dumbness.[which is not true,I am the smartest man on earth]
"All right then," I said. "It's the same to me.Thank you very,Mr Poe,for bringing them here.Children,I will now show you to your room."
"Goodbye,Violet,Klaus and Sunny," Mr Poe said,stepping back through the front door."I hope you will be very happy here.I will continue to see you occasionally, and you can always contact me at the bank if you have any questions."
"But we don't even know where the bank is," the middle Baudebrat said.
"I have a map of the city," I said."Goodbye,Mr Poe."
I leaned forward to shut the door.The Baudebrats were looking down rather than at Mr Poe,which was good,otherwise they would have seen Mr Poe mouthe "The plan went okay".I have to try on my Very Fancy Disguises in my tower this afternoon.
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Post by The Amazing...Spider-Man! on Jan 6, 2004 11:30:30 GMT -5
i will continue after two more replys from different people
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Post by Mental on Jan 6, 2004 11:34:51 GMT -5
C H A P T E R TWOI was eating cold oatmeal in my tower when a sound occurred,which was in the form of the knocker moving back and forth in a mild manner.I put my bowl down to be washed later and went down to see who it was.Maybe it is that annoying judge who lives next door.Only she would knock at this time of the morning.I opened the door and saw that banker and the 3 Baudelaire children. "Hello,hello,hello."I said in my normal voice.I love my voice.It is elegant.That's what attracted Esme,my girlfriend,who i've planned many schemes and other stuff with."Hello,my children.Please step into your new home,and wipe your feet outside so no mud gets indoors." I saw them looking around in dismay. "This room looks like it needs a little work," Mr Poe said. "I realise my humble home isn't as fancy as the Baudelaire mansion," I said,"but perhaps with a bit of your money we could fix it up a little nicer." Mr Poe's eyes widened,and he coughed loudly before he spoke again. "The Baudelaire fortune," he said,"will not be used for such matters.In fact,it will not be used at all,until Violet is of age." I will thank Poe for this later.I had an evil glare on the outside but inwardly,I smirked.I swallowed and shrugged my shoulders to implicate the impression of dumbness.[which is not true,I am the smartest man on earth] "All right then," I said. "It's the same to me.Thank you very,Mr Poe,for bringing them here.Children,I will now show you to your room." "Goodbye,Violet,Klaus and Sunny," Mr Poe said,stepping back through the front door."I hope you will be very happy here.I will continue to see you occasionally, and you can always contact me at the bank if you have any questions." "But we don't even know where the bank is," the middle Baudebrat said. "I have a map of the city," I said."Goodbye,Mr Poe." I leaned forward to shut the door.The Baudebrats were looking down rather than at Mr Poe,which was good,otherwise they would have seen Mr Poe mouthe "The plan went okay".I have to try on my Very Fancy Disguises in my tower this afternoon. exellentay
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Post by The Amazing...Spider-Man! on Jan 6, 2004 11:36:09 GMT -5
one more
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Post by Mrs. (Alphonse) Elric on Jan 6, 2004 18:39:37 GMT -5
;DYea! That was great! Write more....
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Post by The Amazing...Spider-Man! on Jan 7, 2004 3:25:23 GMT -5
chapter 3 is very difficult to do because it's all about the baudelaires.so i am going to do something where he visits Esme.
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Post by The Amazing...Spider-Man! on Jan 10, 2004 10:58:55 GMT -5
C H A P T E R THREE
I got up at 7 o'clock and went downstairs to draw a note telling the Baudebrats they had to prepare dinner for my theater troupe and signed it with a bad VFD insignia.I'm a good artist.Esme bought one of my firey paintings once for $500.I spent it on some brandy and matches and treated her to dinner at Cafe Salmonella.The food's terrible but it's in and Esme loves in stuff.Even if is horrible.I got my coat and my best suit and walked out of the house and saw that Judge gardening.I ran past before she saw me.I got to the Posh district and someone said, "He doesn't belong here.How vulgar." I will torch his house later.5 minutes later i went past the Very Fine Dwellings estate agents.When i get the Baudebrat fortune i will look for a house in there.Finally i arrived at Dark avenue.I wish regular light was in.I went to 666 Dark avenue instead of 667.I went up the very long staircase and knocked. "All sinners are welcome here,Count Olaf!" a weird voice said. "Is this 667 Dark avenue?" i asked. "No,it's 666 Dark avenue." the voice said. "Oh.See you around." I said "Bye bye,Count Olaf." I slid down the bannister and walked out of the lobby.I walked next door and got ready to walk up that long staircase."Best get on with it." Because I am the best.Esme says so.I finally got to their penthouse and knocked.Esme opened the door.She looked me up and down and then said, "Jerome's away.Come in." I walked into the penthouse and looked at how she had updated the place since i was there.She had covered the 1st kitchen floor in lino,which was in.She decorated the hallway,which considering it was a 72-bedroom apartment,was really something.She asked me, "So,what's your plan to get the brat's fortune?" I replyed, "I haven't thought of one yet." That's a point.I need a plan.While she was going on about how boring it was not to have a rich boyfriend,i was thinking.Suddenly I had an idea that involved that Judge who lived next door.I said goodbye to Esme and walked out of the apartment and slid down the bannister.I walked through the posh district,the beverage district and the banking district until I reached the moderately poor district,where I lived.I walked down my block and reached the Judge's house and knocked on her door.She opened her door. "Hello,Justice.I was wondering if you would like to participate in my theater troupe's production of a play by Al Funcoot.It's called A MARVELOUS MARRIAGE and you will be playing the part of the Judge who weds the main characters.So,how about it?" i said. "Olaf,I'd love to.Ok." she said. "Thanks." As i walked away I thought to myself: I've still got it!
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Post by The Amazing...Spider-Man! on Jan 10, 2004 10:59:42 GMT -5
i'll finish the chapter later
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Post by The Amazing...Spider-Man! on Jan 11, 2004 6:26:58 GMT -5
3rd chapter finished i'll continue after 3 replies from different people
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Post by DetectiveDupin on Jan 11, 2004 14:47:24 GMT -5
Cool.
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