|
Post by Zombie-chan on May 26, 2004 13:05:05 GMT -5
Velly eentairesting. A comment on the first part, though...you wrote "Whitney went to the kitchen, after slapping James’ ass once, to leave to see to Jessica and Sam." That's not me. I don't slap, I grab.*
The second part did start off a bit on the confusing side. I agree with George here.
*Haha, yeah right.
|
|
|
Post by xangelkimzx on May 26, 2004 14:29:35 GMT -5
Well done James Seester!
|
|
|
Post by jack2004 on May 26, 2004 14:39:51 GMT -5
please can i be in part 3/end of part 2? this is good!tho i never ever watch eastenders
|
|
|
Post by Skalu on May 26, 2004 16:11:40 GMT -5
Name please, creature of havoc.
|
|
|
Post by jack2004 on May 26, 2004 16:28:37 GMT -5
jack.
|
|
|
Post by negativenine on May 26, 2004 17:28:28 GMT -5
Am I the Ali? If so, why am I always paired up with George? Pah! Just kidding, George, you rock. It just seems to be a rather baseless pairing... And how do you know I have bright green shirts? In fact... I'm wearing one right now!!! *freaks out* Stalker. I love fanfiction... especially when it's about people I know... for you! But I agree with George. It would be nice if you could add some detail about the situations and stuff, it's quite confusing sometimes. Other than that, GREAT!
|
|
|
Post by Shaffuru! on May 26, 2004 17:43:14 GMT -5
Heehee, really cute. ^___^ Good job, James..
|
|
|
Post by timartwonis on May 26, 2004 19:59:42 GMT -5
notice how none of the people in this thread are from the US... I am officially confuzzled
wait...nevermind but most peeps hear are from Canada and the UK
|
|
|
Post by Skalu on May 27, 2004 2:39:36 GMT -5
Am I the Ali? If so, why am I always paired up with George? Pah! Just kidding, George, you rock. It just seems to be a rather baseless pairing... And how do you know I have bright green shirts? In fact... I'm wearing one right now!!! *freaks out* Stalker. I love fanfiction... especially when it's about people I know... for you! But I agree with George. It would be nice if you could add some detail about the situations and stuff, it's quite confusing sometimes. Other than that, GREAT! Okay, I really don't know who you have a relationship with so I just go with the unexpected. Secondly, I saw your pic with the Harry Potter Door™ and just thought that you'd wear such a thing. (Thanx for the comments!!)
|
|
|
Post by Pucca on May 27, 2004 14:24:55 GMT -5
Well done, James. Very good.
I agree about the detail part.
But a very good story so far!
|
|
|
Post by xangelkimzx on May 27, 2004 15:19:57 GMT -5
Hear, hear!
|
|
|
Post by negativenine on May 27, 2004 16:10:30 GMT -5
Secondly, I saw your pic with the Harry Potter Door™ and just thought that you'd wear such a thing. Ahhh. Wacky Antics™. I guess the fact that I have a lime-green shirt shouldn't be so surprising. ;D
|
|
|
Post by Skalu on May 27, 2004 16:20:57 GMT -5
[Part 2] George stepped out of the café, looking left and right. No Ali, phew! He headed towards home. He walked across the road and stepped on to the pavement. His hand hung limply as he dragged it against the poles of the fence of the Square park. He looked at some children playing around the fountain. They were climbing on it and splahing and doing all the things children should do. George remembered what had happened a week ago. Kimia had been pregnant for 3 weeks and as she went to the loo, she had had a miscarriage. She had cried to Pauli and George on the phone for an hour. He got to his house, went in and put his feet up on the coffee table. He yawned and turned on the televison, stretching as he did so. On most channels was crap, and he couldn’t be bothered to look at the rest. The phone rang. George yawned again as he picked it up. The line was deadly silent. “Hello?” George asked. He could hear the heavy breathing of someone. They spoke. “George. Help me!” It was the voice of Ali; she was paniking. “I’m still in love with you. Sorry, but I had to say that.” “Erm…” George had to be natural. This was expected but not so quick. “How did you get my number?” “You’re listed.” Ali said in a dull tone, like George should have known it. “O.K. Ali. I’m married now,” George said as Clem walked into the room. She nudged George and he mouthed “Ali” to her. “I don’t love you anyway. Sorry,” “You mean?” “Yes!” George snapped back at her. He was really pissed off now. “Now leave me…and Clem alone!” With that, George slammed the phone down. He turned to Clem and kissed her. “You’re the only girl for me,” Geroge said and kissed her again. For a long time. *- * - * Sergio got in a sighed. Could my life get any worse? He thought to himself. He looked around his flat; covered in carboard boxes full of clothes and furniture, easles, pieces of paper and pencils and pens. The home of a true artist. He reached into his coat pocket, took out his note book and casually threw it next to him. He took off his coat and yawned. He stood up and walked over to an easel. He looked around for inspiration and then closed his eyes. He thought about all the pain and evil in his life, all started by him. He then leant over, picked up a pen, and drew. *- * - * Whitney wandered around the kitchen, waiting for the water to boil for their boiled eggs. She fell on to the sofa and sprawled out. She turned on the television with the remote and watched for a few minutes. She yawned during an advert for Super Cream! and fell asleep as soon as Ricki Lake came on. She woke up to the smell of burning plastic. She opened her eyes to see her face was being covered by her hair. He blew it out the way and sniffed again. A stronger smell. Fire. She turned around and gasped. The pan, that was frothing at the rim and spitting out water fiercley, had cause the curtain to set on fire. Whitney sat up and ran to it, thinking of what to do. She saw the extingusher and went for it, after thinking “GOD I’m slow.” She aimed it at the curtains and pulled the handle. Instatly, foam came out, knocking Whitney back a tad. The flames were getting more fierce and was climbing the walls. She pulled the handle harder. She got a but dizzy. She thought she saw the window above the cooker melt. After a few minutes, the fire was out and Whitney was nauseous. She lost her footing and then collapsed on to tha floor. [End Of Episode 2]
|
|
|
Post by negativenine on May 27, 2004 16:28:29 GMT -5
So according to George I'm Clem's mother, and according to you, I'm his wannabe-lover? And Clem's his wife. Ha! I love it! 667 is turning into a whirlpool of incest and deceit! *plots* ;D
|
|
|
Post by Skalu on May 28, 2004 2:12:38 GMT -5
I do try, but where did George say- Oh! In 667 Street!
|
|