TheNamelessNovel.com Transcripts and Walkthroughs
Jul 14, 2005 3:06:21 GMT -5
deathtentaclesandpip likes this
Post by Dante on Jul 14, 2005 3:06:21 GMT -5
THE NAMELESS NOVEL
Solve the mystery of Lemony Snicket's new book before it's too late!
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FROM THE DESK OF THE EDITOR
Mr. Snicket and the title of his new book are still missing. Volunteers everywhere are extremely alarmed.
I have no choice but to investigate. You, however, are free to turn off your computer instead of entering your birthday, hitting “Submit”, and joining the search for The Nameless Novel right away.
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Dear Volunteer,
With Lemony Snicket still missing and his new book set to publish on October 18, I fear the worst. What has become of Mr. Snicket? And what of the poor orphans themselves?
New clues are emerging every day on this calendar. For each puzzle you solve and code you decipher, you will be rewarded with a piece of the mysteries surrounding Mr. Snicket's new work. You must discover the truth about Book the Twelfth before it is too late.
Good luck. The fate of our organization, of the Baudelaires, and even of Mr. Snicket may rest in your hands.
With all due respect,
The Editor
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Note from the compiler: 667 is not responsible for the content of external links. Proceed at your own risk.
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July 10th:
“Sometimes the information you need is not in the most obvious place.”
–Lemony Snicket
July 11th:
REMINDER: Begin commonplace book today.
“I waited weeks and weeks for him to return. I read books in Dr. Montgomery’s library, and started a commonplace book of my own. At first it was difficult to find any information on V.F.D., but I took notes on anything I could find.”
– Quigley Quagmire
July 12th:
Like enormous fortunes and doomed orphans, your computer screen probably needs saving.
download screensaver: pc mac
Macintosh Instructions
After you download the file, double-click it to expand. This will give you a file called ls_saver_mac. Copy this file into the Control Panels folder, which can be found in your System Folder. Restart your computer. You can adjust the settings for the screen saver by double-clicking its icon in your Control Panels folder.
Windows Instructions
After you download the file, double-click it to expand. This will give you a file called ls_saver_win.exe. Double-click this file and it will install itself. You can adjust the settings for the screen saver by opening the Display Control Panel and clicking on Screen Saver.
July 13th:
Shopping List
Needed for Pasta Puttanesca
3/8 cup extremely virgin olive oil
3 barely medium-sized cloves of garlic
2 ½ pinches of dried red chili pepper flakes
1 woodsman’s handful of black olives
5 anchovy fillets
½ thimble of dried oregano
1 bunch of fresh parsley
1 ½ pounds of unrotten tomatoes
2 youngster palmfuls of capers, squeezed tightly to drain
July 14th:
Click the play button below to listen to an Alarming Audio Clip.
[play button]
"Violet, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire were intelligent children, and they were charming, and resourceful, and had pleasant facial features, but they were extremely unlucky, and most everything that happened to them was rife with misfortune, misery and despair. I'm sorry to tell you this, but that is how the story goes..."
July 15th:
Be patient is a phrase which here means “an important message is expected to arrive from far away on July 27.”
July 16th:
[Original caption:]
“Those who cannot catalog the past are condemned to repeat it.”
– Unknown volunteer
[Altered caption:]
“SIR, Owner of Lucky Smells Lumbermill”
July 17th:
“Remember, when we lived with the Squalors, we thought we had solved the V.F.D. mystery, but we were wrong.”
– Klaus Baudelaire
July 18th:
“Those who cannot catalog the past are condemned to repeat it.”
– Unknown volunteer
July 19th:
Supplies required in order to tie the Devil’s Tongue:
- Length of rope
- Two Hands
July 20th:
Note the bowl of fruit.
“The room in which they found themselves was the dirtiest they had ever seen, and a little bit of mud from outdoors wouldn’t have made a bit of difference. Even by the dim light of the one bare lightbulb that hung from the ceiling, the three children could see that everything in this room was filthy, from the stuffed head of a lion which was nailed to the wall to the bowl of apple cores which sat on a small wooden table.”
— THE BAD BEGINNING
July 21st:
Six days until the first piece of important evidence…
“Waiting is one of life’s hardships. It is hard enough to wait for chocolate cream pie while burnt roast beef is still on your plate. It is plenty difficult to wait for Halloween when the tedious month of September is still ahead of you.”
— Lemony Snicket
July 22nd:
Village of Fowl Devotees Rule #39:
It is illegal to make anything out of crow feathers.
Village of Fowl Devotees Rule #201:
No murdering.
Village of Fowl Devotees Rule #961:
The Council of Elders’ hot fudge sundaes cannot have more than fifteen pieces of nuts each.
July 23rd:
The Great Chicago Fire of 1871 was started by a cow that kicked over a lantern in Mrs. O’Leary’s barn.
July 24th:
“I was ready to embark on Phase Two, and disguised myself accordingly:”
July 25th:
A downloadable poster may be the perfect thing to hide the entrance to the tunnel you are digging.
downloadable poster
July 26th:
“Now comes the mystery.”
- The last words spoken by Henry Ward Beecher, March 8, 1887
July 27th:
To scratch, hold down your left mouse button and pass the penny over the image below.
[section of a random aSoUE front cover]
Coded Communication
Coded Communication
This coded document was found, sent, burned, buried, or otherwise transmitted.
The Volunteer Training manual suggests that in certain coded letters, certain letters may be uncertain. Insert these letters in the blanks at bottom to decode an important secret message.
TO BE DELIVERED JULY 27, 2005
and not a moment before!
TO: The Editor
FROM: Mme. Ladfern
SUBJECT: Book the TwelFth by Lemony Snicket
Dear Sir,
My associates have infoRmed me of your desire to lOcate an iMportant piece of informaTion regarding tHe latest reseArch conducted by Lemony Snicket.
I need not Tell you how distressSing I find this situAtion; I’m sure you remember the secondD to last time we met for teA. As my Gracious sistEr said, “Of course artificial sweeteNer is unaccEptable!”
Mr. Snicket’S work hAs always been Drab and Problematic, and it always will be.
You should probAbly look for somethingG else.
REgards,
Mme. Dalfern
Secret Message
FROM THAT SAD AGE, ONE SAD PAGE
[See "Mystery the First" section of this thread for page excerpt.]
July 28th:
Volunteer/Villian Formally Described
You must correctly identify this person.
- He is plagued by a terrible cough.
- In the words of Mr. Snicket, he “meant well, but a jar of mustard probably also means well and would do a better job of keeping the Baudelaires out of danger.”
- He is the Vice President of Orphan Affairs at Mulctuary Money Management
The Volunteer/Villain Formally Described is:
MR. POE
July 29th:
Some tragedies begin with a trolley ride.
Others end with a train.
July 30th:
Click the play button below to listen to an Alarming Audio Clip.
[play button]
"“Are you familiar with the Latin term ‘in loco parentis’?”
Violet and Sunny looked at Klaus. The biggest reader of the three, he was the most likely to know vocabulary words and foreign phrases. “Something about trains?” Maybe Mr. Poe was going to take them by train to another relative.
Mr. Poe shook his head. “’In loco parentis’ means ‘acting in the role of parent.’ It is a legal term and it applies to Count Olaf.”"
July 31st:
Vocabulary Frequently Degraded
You must prove you are not a villain by choosing the INCORRECT meaning for each word or expression.
1. Pandemonium
*a drug given to panda bears
actors and stagehands running around attending to last-minute details
2. misnomer
a very wrong name
*a poisonous chemical compound
3. brummagem
fake
*an elaborately dressed European monster
4. hackneyed
used by so, so many writers that by the time Lemony Snicket uses it, it is a tiresome cliché
*used by so, so many Lemony Snickets that by the time a writer uses it, it is a tiresome cliché
5. rickety
*having the qualities of someone named Rick, or in some rare cases, Ricket
unsteady
6. red herring
a distracting and misleading clue
*a fish commonly found in the Pacific Ocean
7. Fata morgana
when your eyes play tricks on you, particularly in hot weather
*a condition of the liver
8. intimidated
made skittish by three older women wearing crow-shaped hats
*made into a crow-shaped hat by three skittish women
9. Table of contents
a list of the titles and page numbers of each chapter in a book
*a page that appears at the beginning of every book by Lemony Snicket
10. defected
*removed all fects
joined Count Olaf’s band of revolting comrades
August 1st:
August 2nd:
Vernacularly Fastened Door
You have reached a Vernacularly Fastened Door. Only entering the correct series of phrases will open it.
Correct phrases are sometimes found using search engines, well-stocked libraries, or very smart people.
Phrase #1: The title of Chapter One in Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.
DOWN THE RABBIT-HOLE
Phrase #2: The name of the failed organization of well-read leaders that a noble man named Woodrow Wilson hoped in 1919 would bring peace to the world forever.
LEAGUE OF NATIONS
Phrase #3: An extremely important scientific discovery made in 1905 by a man named Albert with outrageously messy white hair.
THEORY OF RELATIVITY
August 3rd:
“The subliminal emotional tenor of a mob’s unruliness lies in solitary opinions, expressed emphatically at various points in the stereo field.”
– Unnamed psychology text
August 4th:
August 5th:
Uncommon Commonplace Quiz
You must consult your Commonplace Book to answer these questions.
1) What cured, fruit-based ingredient other than capers is required to make Pasta Puttanesca?
OLIVES
2) What was the alleged surname of the arsonist cow that began the Great Chicago Fire?
O’LEARY
3) What knot does Violet Baudelaire frequently use in her inventions?
DEVIL’S TONGUE
4) What V.F.D. rule was broken by the sad fate of Jacques Snicket?
201
5) What Russian literary figure do some people believe to be almost as unfortunate as the Baudelaire orphans?
ANNA KARENINA
August 6th:
August 7th:
Volunteer/Villian Formally Described
You must correctly identify this person.
- He loves bananas.
- Violet Baudelaire was his student in Room One.
- In the words of Mr. Snicket, he has “a dark and thick mustache, as if somebody had chopped off a gorilla’s thumb and stuck it above [his] lip.”
The Volunteer/Villain Formally Described is:
MR. REMORA
August 8th:
“They didn’t understand it, but like so many unfortunate events in life, just because you don’t understand it doesn’t mean it isn’t so.”
– Lemony Snicket
August 9th:
Books hidden underneath the bed of a certain guardian:
- The Tides of Lake Lachrymose
- The Bottom of Lake Lachrymose
- Lachrymose Trout
- The History of the Damocles Dock Region
- Ivan Lachrymose – Lake Explorer
- How Water Is Made
- A Lachrymose Atlas
August 10th:
Coded Communication
This coded document was found, sent, burned, buried, or otherwise transmitted.
The Volunteer Training manual suggests that the first word of a Sebald code always occurs immediately after a ringing bell. Subsequent elements of the code occur every 11th spoken word thereafter. Insert these letters in the blanks at bottom to decode an important secret message.
Screenplay for Ants in the Fruit Salad by Dr. Gustav Sebald, page 43.
CHEF SONNY
(ringing a bell) The fruit salad is served!
PROFESSOR TROUT
Thank Zeus! I am starved!
MRS. TROUT
My sister simply loves a bowl of fruit. I recall she once took--
LITTLE BONNIE TROUT
Eek!
PROFESSOR TROUT
Eek!
MRS. TROUT
Eek!
LITTLE BONNIE TROUT
The ants are climbing my fork! Kill them! Kill them!
Secret Message
THE SISTER TOOK THEM
August 11th:
August 11th
Click the play button below to listen to an Alarming Audio Clip.
[play button]
"“What sort of case was it?” Having been deprived of reading, Klaus was hungry for new information.
“I can’t really discuss it, because it’s official business. But I can tell you it concerns a poisonous plant and illegal use of someone’s credit card.”"
August 12th:
"But we know how to solve problems, don't we? Fire can solve any problem in the world."
- The man with a beard but no hair
August 13th:
Vernacularly Fastened Door
You have reached a Vernacularly Fastened Door. Only entering the correct series of phrases will open it.
Phrase #1: A commonly used approach to measurement, characterized by measurements like centimeters and milligrams.
METRIC SYSTEM
Phrase #2: The title and name of a ruler many researchers believe fiddled while Rome burned.
EMPEROR NERO
Phrase #3: A possibly coded novel by Ernest Hemingway about the possibly coded Spanish Civil War, first published in 1940.
FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS
August 14th:
Vocabulary Frequently Degraded
You must prove you are not a villain by choosing the INCORRECT meaning for each word or expression.
1. utmost
*ut
most
2. schism
a division of a previously united group of people into two or more oppositional parties
*a sliver or splinter on one’s foot
3. revulsion
an unpleasant mixture of horror and disgust
*vulsion, again
4. at large
*the location of someone browsing neither small, medium, nor extra large clothing in a store
not in jail
5. snifter
a type of glass, usually meant for holding brandy
*one who smells perfumes and colognes for a living
6. Condy’s fluid
a complex chemical compound
*a top diplomat’s orange juice
7. futile
*made entirely of tin foil
useless, unnecessary, and ineffectual, because there is no reason for it
8. pyromania
a love of fire, usually the product of a deranged mind
*a love of spicy Indian food, usually the product of a culinary mind
9. verdant
*relating to the operatic composer Giuseppe Verdi
green
10. gravlax
salmon marinated for several days in a mixture of spices
*salmon cut into pleasing shapes and simply served raw
August 15th:
"This is the excellent foppery of the world, that, when we are sick in fortune—often the surfeit of our own behavior—we make guilty of our disasters the sun, the moon, and the stars; as if we were villains by necessity, fools by heavenly compulsion, knaves, thieves, and treachers by spherical predominance…"
– William Shakespeare
It is unclear which side of the schism this man was on, if any.
August 16th:
“I’m not going to give you a tip,” the bearded man was saying to the driver of the taxi, “because you talk too much. Not everybody wants to hear about your new baby, you know.”
– THE REPTILE ROOM
August 17th:
Coded postcards may be sent by any volunteer or villain
August 18th:
Uncommon Commonplace Quiz
You must consult your Commonplace Book to answer these questions.
1) What is the motto inscribed on the arch at Prufrock Preparatory School?
MEMENTO MORI
2) What does a well-read person call salmon marinated for several days in a mixture of spices?
GRAVLAX
3) What was the only book found under Aunt Josephine's bed that is not largely about Lake Lachrymose?
HOW WATER IS MADE
4) What didn’t they understand?
IT
5) What is the name of the code used in the screenplay or of the person who delivered it?
SEBALD
[See "Mystery the Second" section of this thread for excerpt.]
August 19th:
Volunteer/Villain Formally Described
You must correctly identify this person.
- “Cakesniffer” is one of this False Spring Queen’s favorite insults.
- In the words of Mr. Snicket, “If you were going to give a gold medal to the least delightful person on Earth, you would have to give that medal to [this person], and if you didn’t give it to her, [she] was the sort of person who would snatch it from your hands anyway.”
- She chooses a life of villainy.
The Volunteer/Villain Formally Described is:
CARMELITA SPATS
August 20th:
Flaneur (FLAN-rrrrr) n., French.
An idle observer.
August 21st:
“I have seen many amazing things in my long and troubled life history. I have seen a series of corridors built entirely out of human skulls. I have seen a volcano erupt and send a wall of lava crawling toward a small village. I have seen a woman I loved picked up by an enormous eagle and flown to its high mountain nest. But I still cannot imagine what it was like to watch Aunt Josephine’s house topple into Lake Lachrymose.”
– Lemony Snicket
August 22nd:
Vernacularly Fastened Door
You have reached a Vernacularly Fastened Door. Only entering the correct series of phrases will open it.
Correct phrases are sometimes found using search engines, well-stocked libraries, or very smart people.
Phrase #1: The famed German siblings responsible for a coded fairy tale called Hansel and Gretel, which is about two children who lose their parents and fall into the clutches of a terrible villain.
GRIMM BROTHERS
Phrase #2: The title of Symphony #3 by Henryk Gorecki.
SORROWFUL SONGS
Phrase #3: The terrible tragedy that began raging on the night of September 2, 1666.
GREAT FIRE OF LONDON
August 23rd:
“You’re not the only one with a mechanical device! This is a harpoon gun that my boyfriend bought for me. It fires four hooked harpoons, which are long spears perfect for popping balloons.”
–Esme Squalor
August 24th:
Certain crucial information should be printed out and kept with you at all times in case of amnesia.
August 25th:
“Under a burnt wooden sign marked ‘Poetry,’ I found a pile of papers that were burned practically beyond recognition.”
–Klaus Baudelaire
August 26th:
Coded Communication
This coded document was found, sent, burned, buried, or otherwise transmitted.
The Blind Men and the Elephant
by John Godfrey Saxe
It was six men of Indostan, to learning much inclined,
who went to see the elephant (Though all of them were blind),
that each by observation, might satisfy his mind.
The first approached the elephant, and, happening to fall,
against his broad and sturdy side, at once began to bawl:
"God bless me! but the elephant, is nothing but a wall!"
The second feeling of the tusk, cried: "Ho! what have we here,
so very round and smooth and sharp? To me tis mighty clear,
this wonder of an elephant, is very like a spear!"
The third approached the animal, and, happening to take,
the squirming trunk within his hands, "I see," quoth he,
the elephant is very like a snake!"
The fourth reached out his eager hand, and felt about the knee:
"What most this wondrous beast is like, is mighty plain," quoth he;
"Tis clear enough the elephant is very like a tree."
The fifth, who chanced to touch the ear, Said; "E'en the blindest man
can tell what this resembles most; Deny the fact who can,
This marvel of an elephant, is very like a fan!"
The sixth no sooner had begun, about the beast to grope,
than, seizing on the swinging tail, that fell within his scope,
"I see," quothe he, "the elephant is very like a rope!"
And so these men of Indostan, disputed loud and long,
each in his own opinion, exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right, and all were in the wrong!
So, oft in theologic wars, the disputants, I ween,
tread on in utter ignorance, of what each other mean,
and prate about the elephant, not one of them has seen!
Secret Message
THREE SPIES, BUT NONE SAW THE WHOLE TRUTH!
August 27th:
“My friend Ben once gave me some elevator blueprints for my birthday, and I studied them very closely. They were destroyed in the fire, of course, but I remember that an elevator is essentially a platform, surrounded by an enclosure, that moves along the vertical axis via an endlessly looped belt and a series of ropes. It’s controlled by a push-button console that regulates an electromagnetic braking system so the transport sequence can be halted at any access point the passenger desires. In other words, it’s a box that moves up or down, depending on where you want to go. But so what?” –Violet Baudelaire
August 28th:
New York, 1854: At the Crystal Palace Exposition, Elisha Graves Otis demonstrates his invention, the modern elevator. He cuts one of the elevator’s cables with an ax; to the crowd’s dismay, the contraption does not plunge to its doom.
August 29th:
Uncommon Commonplace Quiz
You must consult your Commonplace Book to answer these questions.
1) What did Justice Strauss’ important case involve, besides illegal use of someone’s credit card?
POISONOUS PLANT
2) Fire is commonly the result of a chemical reaction between a fuel, like gasoline, and which gas?
OXYGEN
3) What does “in loco parentis” mean?
ACTING IN THE ROLE OF PARENT
4) What is Mr. Remora’s favorite food?
BANANA
5) Who invented the modern elevator?
ELISHA GRAVES OTIS
August 30th:
“The mushrooms are exceedingly poisonous. Listen to this: ‘As the poet says, “A single spore has such grim power/That you may die within the hour.”’”
–Fiona
August 31st:
Click the play button below to listen to an Alarming Audio Clip.
[play button]
"“And now, ladies and gentleman,” Count Olaf stepped forward to address the audience, “I have an announcement. There is no reason to continue tonight’s performance, for its purpose has been served. This has not been a scene of fiction. My marriage to Violet Baudelaire is perfectly legal, and now I am in control of her entire fortune.”"
