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Post by JTB on Aug 8, 2009 17:06:00 GMT -5
Finest Hour
Chapter One Starstruck
"Dewey," said Frank, tying his scarlet tie and shaking his head to get his hair right, "you ready?" "Almost," said his brother. "Where's Ernest?" "He's in the cafeteria," replied Frank. "We should go before we're late. Wouldn't want to eat our meals with no silverware, would we?"
"I suppose not," said Dewey, his voice somehow faint, even though the Gentlemen Common Room was not very large. He stood sullenly, absently staring into the common room's smoldering fire.
Frank turned to him. "Are you alright, brother?"
Dewey looked up from the embers, his white face suddenly regaining a bit of color.
"No," he answered frankly. "I'm not."
Frank tilted his head slightly. "What's the matter?"
Dewey gave him a small, tired smile.
"Love's the matter."
***
"Lemony, get out! This is the Ladies Common Room. You'll be expelled if Mr. Morrow finds out you're in here!"
"Kit," Lemony cried frantically, "I can't find my notes! Mr. Morrow will kill me if I don't find them! That's worse than expulsion, dear sister!"
Katherine Snicket, commonly called 'Kit' at Prufrock Preparatory Institution, sighed. "Why, then, are you looking in the girls' common room?" she asked exasperatedly.
"I've looked everywhere in the boys'. They're not in my room, not in Monty's, not in the Anwhistle's, not Jerome's - they're not anywhere!" Lemony cried, hurriedly looking through the couch's cushions and pillows.
"Well, I'm sorry, but you simply can't be here," his older sister remarked dryly.
"You're lucky I'm the only girl in here. What's going to happen if Caroline Spats comes in here? That brat'll have you expelled for sure. Or what if another girl comes down from the dorms?"
"Don't worry," came another voice amusedly, "I won't tell a soul."
Kit and Lemony whirled around, their hearts jumping through their throats.
"Oh," said Kit, letting out a sigh of relief, "it's you, Beatrice."
Beatrice Pearson, a sixteen year old brunette and a fabulous dancer, casually moved across the main common room lounge.
"Kit," she asked, her voice sweet and innocently smooth, "who is this?"
Kit laughed. "This is my little brother, Lemony. He's sixteen - like you."
"How do you do?" Beatrice asked, smiling. Lemony was starstruck. He held out his hand slowly, trembling.
"W-well," he finally got out after a moment of silence. "Yourself?"
"I'm well," Beatrice replied, and suddenly she gasped with excitement. "Oh! Lemony Snicket! I think I read your bit in the school paper a few days ago, about the marmosets? I thought it was brilliant! You're a fabulous writer, unlike that new girl, Georgina or Geraldine or whoever she is."
Lemony smiled meekly. He was in love.
(End of Ch. 1 - hope you liked it. I'll be continuing tonight after some feedback and after I read TPP. ;D)
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Post by Emma “Emmz” Squalor on Aug 8, 2009 18:27:59 GMT -5
That was absolutely fantastic! I loved the introductions to the familar characters - in particular Lemony and Beatrice. It was so sweet that he grew so nervous when he went to shake her hand, and that he fell in love with her at first sight. I must admit I find it quite funny that Carmelita's mother is named "Caroline". I used to know a Caroline who was very unpleasant. I'm actually surprised that you haven't read TPP yet, because your portrayals of Dewey, Frank and Kit are spot-on. Your fic reminds me a lot of A Tale of Three Friends - an RPG that May and I did, which took place at Prufrock Prep and focused on the adult characters as teenagers. I'm looking forward to the next chapter!
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Post by JTB on Aug 8, 2009 22:12:47 GMT -5
Thank you, Emma! And I have read TPP - when I said I'm going to read it tonight, I meant re-read it. My bad. Chapter Two Soaring"Drat!" cried out Veronica Bass, her cheeks reddening. Hubert Remora looked up from his tray quickly. "What's the matter?" he asked. He and Veronica shared arithmetic class and literature class together, and at the moment the two were sitting at a half-empty lunch table during second lunch. "This tooth," she replied, grimacing. "It hurts really bad whenever I chew even a gram of food." Hubert smiled in spite of the situation - he'd always found her metric obsession cute. She tried to take a sip of her mango milkshake, and cried out again. "If you want," Hubert said casually, stirring his banana pudding gently with his spoon, "I can take a look for you." Veronica looked at him quizzically. "What do you know about dentists?" "My father was a dentist, and taught me many tricks of the trade before...before I came here," Hubert said softly. Veronica's anger lessened. "Oh," she said thoughtfully, "well, do you know much about toothaches?" She moved a seat closer to him. Hubert shifted to face her. "I think I know something that may help it stop hurting, even if it's only a little." He gently leaned in, and kissed her. ***"No, no, no!" cried out Vice Principal Denouement. "Ernest, when will you learn?" Ernest's cheeks grew red with fury. "Father," he persisted, "I'm trying." Curt Denouement sighed. "Very well, let's go again - what is 328?" Ernest remained calm and impassive on the outside, but inside he was racking through his brain. No matter how hard he thought, how detailed his memory could be, he couldn't for the life of him remember what 328 was. "Er," he began, "isn't it ground transportation?" " No! No, no, no! I don't know why I'm wasting time on you," Curt cried out, flinging his hands in the air. "Impossible, you are, to teach! I'm going to find your brothers. Maybe they have some sort of knowledge about them." Vice Principal Denouement threw open the door to his tiny office, and stormed out, leaving his son standing in the doorway, hot tears clouding his vision. Ernest Denouement sighed. Walking out of the office, he headed out of the administrative building and out onto the green lawn. "Hello, Ernest," said a voice behind him. Ernest spun to meet her - his one source of happiness in this miserable life. He instantly shed all thought of despair or grief about his father and his father's love for his brothers. He smiled broadly, color returning to his face. He felt his heart soaring. "Hello, Georgina," he said.
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Post by Emma “Emmz” Squalor on Aug 8, 2009 22:31:20 GMT -5
I'm very sorry about this, but that chapter was just... so... AWWWW. It really was! I've never been very fond of Mr. Remora or Miss Bass, but I absolutely adore them in your fic. The idea that he would kiss her in order to distract her from her toothache was so sweet. As is the fact that he finds her metric system obsession cute. I feel so sorry for poor Ernest, but I like the fact that I can relate to him on a personal level. I never did too well in school myself, and it's sad that his father is so impatient with him for not understanding the material. *hugs Ernest* I'm glad he has Georgina, and I can't wait to read more about their relationship. Awesome, awesome fic.
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Post by JTB on Aug 8, 2009 23:12:32 GMT -5
Thank you, yet again! I'm glad you like it! It makes me want to write more. Chapter Three Angel"Bertrand, you can't be serious," said Jerome Squalor. "I mean, you're actually thinking about doing this?" Bertrand Baudelaire, the wealthiest, most popular young man in the Institution, was a charming young lad. He had soft gray eyes, dark blonde hair, a muscular body, and a confident smile. He needed confidence for his next act. "Yes," he said with assurance, "I'm going to do it tonight at the Valorous Fall Dance." Jerome Squalor and Jacques Snicket both sighed. "I'm not sure she'll say yes," said Jacques. "My sister says her and my brother Lemony had a little 'moment' today, whatever that means." Bertrand furrowed his brow. "Interesting," he said thoughtfully, "I wonder if he has an interest in her too." "I'm not sure," said Jerome worriedly, "but look who's coming." The three turned to see a very unpleasant person walk into the cafeteria - Gerard Olaf. Bertrand frowned when he saw Olaf. Everything about the seventeen-year-old wasn't remotely pleasant - he lied, he cheated on tests, he made obscene drawings on the desks, he started fights, he spread rumors, and worst of all, he was more morbid than Death itself. He joked about murdering small children and what it would be like to strangle a helpless animal. Olaf approached them, a sneer growing on his sharp face. "Baudeliar," said Olaf snidely. "And the two little queers." Bertrand took a step forward. "How about you shut up, pastrysmeller." "Oh, I'm so frightened by your insults," said Olaf, his shiny green eyes growing wide. "I think I'll serve eighty years in prison for smelling a pastry!" Bertrand just stared at the gangly boy before him, and it took every bit of self-control in his mind to stop from punching him. Jerome, however, did not have such self-control. In one fluid movement, he slammed a fist into Olaf's face before the latter could bat an eye. The next moment, he was on the ground. Bertrand laid a hand on Jerome's shoulder to stop him from continuing. "That'll do," he said quietly, and winked at him. ***"Are you ready?" asked Ike Anwhistle gently. "I look ugly," came the flat remark from behind the Ladies Common Room door. "I look like a Q-tip." Ike smiled. "I'm sure you look like an angel." A moment passed, and the green door slowly opened to reveal Josephine Emerson dressed in a white gown with a large pearl necklace and satin gloves. Her sleek blonde hair was done up in a curled bun behind her head. Her beautiful face and her red lipstick shone brightly. "Wow," Ike said quietly, his mouth agape. His eyes searched her body, her face, her deep blue eyes. "Josephine, you're beautiful." Josephine, her tan face blushing, smiled. "Mr. Isaac, I do believe you look quite handsome yourself," she said, kissing him. The hall outside the common room was empty, and it was their moment. No one saw their kiss, no one saw them come closer together. It was their moment of bliss, and they enjoyed every second of it. When they pulled apart, she held out her arm to be escorted. The happy couple walked down the hallway, smiling to themselves at their love for each other. They matched perfectly - her in her white, thin dress, and he in his white and grey pinstripe tuxedo. Ike couldn't believe his luck. "Why, hello!" cried out a voice when they reached the atrium. Ike smiled when he heard it, and spun around. "Monty!" he said, turning to him. "How are you? And my, Persephone! Don't you look splendid." Monty and Persephone Strauss walked up to Ike and Josephine, beaming. Monty was dressed in a black tuxedo with a blue tie, his long wavy brown hair slicked back sharply. Persephone wore a deep blue gown with a silver necklace around her slender neck. They were both shorter than most people, and most thought they'd be an excellent couple. They, however, thought of each other as wonderful friends. "Thank you, Ike," said Persephone, smiling to reveal perfect white teeth, "and Josephine - you're simply gorgeous!" "Oh, stop," said Josephine, "you're the pretty one!" The four laughed heartily. "Well, let's head down to the auditorium," said Monty, pulling out a pocket watch with a snake engraved on the back. "We don't want to be too too late." They were on their way to the Valorous Fall Dance, to an evening of memories, and to a night to remember.
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Post by Emma “Emmz” Squalor on Aug 9, 2009 0:27:46 GMT -5
I'm glad my comments make you want to write more of your fic, because it's awesome. I loved meeting the other characters in this chapter - in particular Jerome, and I loved how you had him kick some butt when it came to Olaf. I've personally always pictured Jerome as being extremely timid, but I've written him behaving violently a few times when he's defending Esme. I love your take on him, though, and how he stood up for his friends. Go, Jerome! Ike and Josephine are so cute! It's also very sweet that she thought she was ugly and locked herself in the bathroom until he coaxed her out. I also love the first name you chose for Justice Strauss.
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Post by Jenny on Aug 9, 2009 10:16:11 GMT -5
This is going great so far--I loved the description of Olaf, and of course Jerome having a spine! Was lovely, please go on.
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Post by JTB on Aug 9, 2009 17:11:24 GMT -5
Chapter Four Romancing
"Kit, can I ask you something before we leave for the Dance?"
Kit looked over at her brother, who was standing in the doorway of her dormroom.
"Sure?" she said. My brother is always weird, she thought.
"Who is Beatrice attending the Dance with?" Lemony asked, trying to hide his worry with casual tones.
Kit smiled gently, and put down her book. "Why? Does wittle Wemony wike her?"
Lemony's face grew a light pink. "No," he said defensively, "I just would like to know."
Kit sighed, amused. "I don't think she's going with anyone," she said boredly.
Lemony's face remained the same, but his eyes lit up. "Are you serious?" he asked, and this time he forgot to hide the true feeling in his voice. He sounded as if he'd just been told he was allowed to open a Christmas gift one day early.
"I'm pretty sure," said Kit, giggling.
Lemony started to smile, but suddenly his face grew white and his eyes snapped open.
"I need to get dressed!"
***
The Valorous Fall Dance was one of the largest events Prufrock Preparatory Institution offered, and it was a night all students chewed their pencils over. Would their be romance? Would there be fights? Would there be beautiful music or horrid rumors?
The answer: yes.
The couples were beautifully paired: Monty and his wonderful friend Persephone, Ike and his secret girlfriend Josephine, Ike's brother Gregor and Kit Snicket in a beautiful emerald gown.
There were some that weren't in couples. Frank and Dewey Denouement, each in black tuxes with scarlet ties, showed up single and in high spirits, while their brother Ernest accompanied Georgina Orwell in a fiery red dress.
Jacques Snicket, a popular young man among the ladies, arrived in a black and white tuxedo, his dark hair parted, his small mustache trimmed. The look in his eyes was irresistable to women.
Hubert Remora, dressed in a black and grey suit, arrived alone, but Veronica Bass and he quickly found each other early on in the night, and most didn't see them for the remainder of the dance.
It was after most of the students had arrived that the couple of the evening arrived in the auditorium. Bertrand Baudelaire, in a white tuxedo with a red rose in his lapel, strode in escorting Beatrice Pearson, wearing a silver, think dress that made her shine. Her dark hair caressed her shoulders, her blue eyes deep with happiness and anxiety. The two were beautiful together. She held on to him with delicacy, and he held on to her with tenderness.
"Oh boy," Lemony said, standing at the punch bowl with Monty and his brother Jacques, "would you look at her?"
Monty whistled. "She's an eye-fixer," he said, nudging Lemony with his elbow. "Later tonight, ask her for a dance."
Lemony turned to him with a sullen look in his eye. "Really? You think she'll go for that? Please. I have a better chance of getting up there and playing my accordion."
Jacques laughed, and rumpled his brother's hair up. "Nerd," he said, before a seventeen year old girl ran up to him.
"Uh, Jacques," she said, giggling and looking back at her friends a few yards away, "would you like to dance tonight?"
Jacques gave her a romancing smile. "Anything for you, sweetie," he said, and the girl's face went scarlet. She giggled more, and ran away.
"What must it be like to be you, Jacques Snicket?" asked Lemony, before he slammed his face into his palm.
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Post by melon head. on Aug 9, 2009 18:24:20 GMT -5
Ah! Oh my God, I love this! Jacques as a stud = my dream come true. Seriously. And I love how you've done Beatrice, Kit and Olaf! And poor love-struck Lemony. *Pats back*
Keep up the spectacular work.
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Post by Emma “Emmz” Squalor on Aug 9, 2009 19:59:37 GMT -5
I loved the imagery you used in describing everyone's attire, though my favorite part would have to be where the girl asked Jacques to dance and then ran off. I love that you've made him such a lady's man.
I feel sorry for Lemony, being so jealous of his brother. I can't wait to see how his dance with Beatrice goes.
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Post by JTB on Aug 9, 2009 20:12:26 GMT -5
[OOC- thank you all for the lovely comments. And by the way, PPI is set up like this:
-18 year olds - equivalent of Seniors (Bertrand Baudelaire, Beatrice Pearson, Jacques Snicket, Katherine Snicket, Dewey Denouement, Frank Denouement, Ernest Denouement, Jerome Squalor, James Grengorlitoran, Claude Nero, Hubert Remora
-17 year olds - equivalent of Juniors (Josephine Emerson, Charles Edwards II, Gerard Olaf III, Veronica Bass, Gregor Anwhistle, Ike Anwhistle, Esme Salinger)
16 year olds - equivalent of Sophomores (Lemony Snicket, Montgomery Montgomery, Rhea Victoria, Geraldine Julienne)
15 year olds - equivalent of Freshmen (Persephone Strauss)
12-14 - equivalent of junior high (Hector Anwhistle)
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Chapter Five Beauty
It's my time, he thought. Beyond the velvet curtain, the three hundred students milled about; some drank punch, others laughed, while some glared at each other. They were waiting on him. They were ready for his music, his symphony - his magic.
"Claude," said Principal Ishmael quietly, "you're on in three minutes."
Claude Nero spun around quickly, his thoughts broken. The kindly white-haired principal smiled down at him. "You'll do great," Principal Ishmael added, as if reading the young eighteen year old's mind.
Claude smiled weakly, gripping his violin tightly. He bowed. "Thank you. Principal Ishmael."
The man walked away, leaving Claude Nero white and nervous. He breathed in many times to wash away his fears. He felt his hand caress the violin with firmness.
It's my time, he thought to himself. He closed his eyes, and imagined himself leading an orchestra in the grandest theatre on Earth, with the audience giving ovations even as the performance was continuing on. He thought of the spotlight upon him, and the crowds giving him the respect he deserved.
My time.
"Thirty seconds, Claude," said a stagehand somewhere to his left. Claude opened his eyes, let out a deep breath, and stood in the center of the stage behind the curtain.
***
The students were milling about, some drinking punch, some laughing, others glaring at each other.
Jerome Squalor felt his fists clench when Olaf walked in the door, an evil expression on his face. Jerome was shocked to see that Olaf wasn't alone - behind him was Fernald Widdershins, a 19 year old that had failed the previous year. He wore a smug expression on his face and crossed his arms arrogantly, as if being a failure at education meant being better than anyone else.
But what was more shocking was that Olaf was being accompanied by yet another person - a girl. She had black, ravenous hair, milky skin, and a luxurious body. She was Esme Salinger, and she was Jerome's crush. Jerome felt the color drain from his face, and he felt his heart had jumped to his throat. His blood boiled.
"Relax, Jerry," said Bertrand cooly, eyeing the three arrivals. "Once she finds out what a monster he is, she'll come straight here."
"I hope, for his sake," said Jerome, turning his eyes from them.
At that moment, the lights grew dim, the spotlight smashed upon the purple curtain, and the curtain rose to reveal Claude Nero, violin in hand. The crowd gave an applause, but it was quiet - they were excited or interested to see the outcome of his skills.
Claude, a thin, gaunt young man with wavy red hair, looked upon the crowd with no emotion displayed upon his face. He was silent, his head was bowed.
Slowly, he began to play his violin. He began playing faster, with more passion and more love. To the crowd's utter surprise, and to yours, I'm sure - the music was beautiful. The crowds began to clap vividly, and Claude Nero rained angelic music upon them all.
Then they fell silent as they began to spread apart, and soon a large, empty circle was created on the auditorium's floor - it was for Bertrand and Beatrice.
Slowly, the beautiful couple made their way to the circle - Bertrand from the foods table with Jerome, and Beatrice from Kit Snicket - and they came together. The sight of the beautiful couple and the sound of Nero's beautiful music made the scene magical, except for two sole people -
Lemony Snicket, and Esme Salinger.
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Post by Emma “Emmz” Squalor on Aug 9, 2009 21:45:05 GMT -5
Yay! Another chappy!
I'm intrigued that Nero was actually talented at the violin when he was younger. I wonder what could have happened to change that? *ponders*
I can totally relate to Fernald: I was nineteen during my senior year of high school, too.
It seems that Esme is interested in Bertrand, which is something I've always believed is a strong possibility. Along with Lemony, she's another character I feel sorry for.
Also, I love you for making Esme's last name "Salinger". ;D
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Post by JTB on Aug 9, 2009 22:13:14 GMT -5
Thankies Chapter Five FirmamentBertrand and Beatrice danced on to the lovely music by Claude, and soon other couples started to join them: Kit and Gregor, Ernest and Georgina, Ike and Josephine, Monty and Persephone. Frank smiled as he approached Dewey, who was quietly talking with Jerome Squalor. "Isn't our brother cute with his little lady-friend?" he asked Dewey, smiling. Dewey turned to look at Ernest in his black, solemn tuxedo as he was dancing with Georgina in her ferocious red gown. They looked like fire and smoke - as if they belonged. "They look happy," said Dewey softly. "I'm glad for him." Frank nodded, sipping a glass of punch. "I am too - I do wish father wasn't so hard on him." Dewey looked down. "Yeah," he said, "me too." It was then that they both noticed that Jerome had walked away from the two brothers. Frank looked at Dewey; Dewey shrugged. "Guess he needed to go," said Frank, draining the last of his punch. ***"Why so dour, Esme?" Jerome asked timidly, approaching the smoldering girl. She turned to face him, and gave him a small, strained smile. "Oh, it's just that magee Beatrice," she said calmly, as if she was talking about a minor headache. Jerome was stunned. "Why?" he asked, taking two glasses of punch from a passing waiter. He handed one to her. "What's the matter with Beatrice?" Esme shrugged, sipping her drink. "I don't get why her and Bertrand are so fabulous. They aren't even dating, so why should they get the spotlight?" Jerome looked at Beatrice and Bertrand dancing quickly, laughing at the fast melody Nero was now playing. They do look happy, he thought. "Well, let's just take the spotlight," he said brightly, setting his drink down on a near table. Esme looked at him strangely as he took her drink and grabbed her slender hand. "What are you doing?" she asked. "No clue," he said with a smile, and in a moment the two were on the dance floor mere feet from Beatrice and Bertrand. Everyone was stunned with pleasure to see Esme - a silent fifteen year old - dancing with Jerome, an eighteen year old jock. Everyone was watching them with delight - although there was one who was watching them with furious contempt. ***Kit and Gregor stopped dancing after ten minutes, and Gregor bowed low to kiss her hand. "You're beautiful, Kit," Gregor said with a small smile. Kit blushed. "Thank you, Gregor," she said softly. Gregor left to use the restroom, and Kit watched her younger brother watch Bertrand and Beatrice as they waltzed happily, waiting for his chance to run in and steal her. She smiled. Lemony, Lemony, she thought, if only you knew what went on in Beatrice's.Kit suddenly felt dazed. The room was crowded and hot. She felt like she needed a small respite, and turned and walked through the crowds, holding her punch close. She reached the main doors to the auditorium, and exited. The October air was cool and crisp, but not very far from warm. It was comfortable. She walked out on to the green lawn, and stared up at the shining moon and glittering stars. "They are beautiful, aren't they?" came a voice from behind her. Kit turned and looked at Olaf, who had slicked his hair back and now walked with a subtly jaunty stride. He was tall, towering a foot and a half over her. Kit was always nice to anyone she talked to, no matter who they were. "Hello, Gerard," she said, turning to look at the stars again with awe. "'Two things,' the wise man said, 'fill me with awe,'" Olaf said softly and quietly, "'The starry heavens and the moral law.' Nay, add another wonder to thy roll, -- the living marvel of the human soul!" Kit's eyes widened, and she turned to stare at him in wonder. Olaf was looking up at the firmament above, the black eternity spreading over them both. It was a silent night and a calm night. There was no mistaking the connection between them. "I-I had no idea -" Kit began, but Olaf looked down at her, and placed a thin finger to her lips. She looked up at him, her face inches from his. Her eyes suddenly and unexpectedly gazed into his. "I didn't either," he murmured, and leaned down to softly kiss her. Kit knew no one was watching, and as the kiss continued on, she felt her arms reach around his waist. They pulled together suddenly. The stars were their only witnesses, and Kit was forever thankful that they were silent.
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Post by Emma “Emmz” Squalor on Aug 9, 2009 22:26:12 GMT -5
The fact that Ernest has a girlfriend really makes up for his struggles in school and his father's attitude towards him. I also love how Esme and Jerome stole the spotlight from Beatrice and Bertrand, as well as how you portray Esme as the quiet type. By the way, what is the title of the poem that Olaf narrated, or did you make it up? Either way, it fits the closing scene very nicely.
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Post by Libitina on Aug 9, 2009 22:46:46 GMT -5
I love this. Your characterizations are awesome, and you do a great job of getting into their heads.
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