|
Post by 0pinstripeesme0 on Jan 28, 2004 22:43:25 GMT -5
A young Esme slouched onto a dirty leather couch, engulfed in the smog that leaked into the house's crumbling walls. Her mother had just entered the room with a sorrowful look on her face. " Esme I am so sorry dearest, we had to sell you're, um, what was it? Oh yes, you're um, dress?" said Esme's mom quietly. "WHAT? YOU SOLD MY VERY "IN" DRESS?" screamed Esme in a bloodcurling fashion. " We had to, your father was laid off from work again, and we need to pay the bills and let you eat darling! I wouldn't do it if I didn't have to!" Esme's mother cried, as she shielded her eyes from falling paint chips that came from the ceiling. Esme glared nastily at her mother. Her eyes went up and down, up and down until she finally spoke. "When I get older, I will be so rich and own everything I want. I will have every "in" item that I need, and even don't need. And, I will think of you not once, but only of myself, as you have done to me." spoke Esme breathily. Tears swelled in her mother's eyes as Esme blinked, and blatantly stormed out of the room, blind to her mother's innocence. Tell me what you guys think!
|
|
|
Post by The Amazing...Spider-Man! on Jan 29, 2004 5:07:39 GMT -5
it was great.esme is stuck up,though
|
|
|
Post by DetectiveDupin on Jan 29, 2004 11:54:17 GMT -5
*claps* That's good.
|
|
|
Post by Sheepdogg Plankton on Jan 29, 2004 14:13:31 GMT -5
excellent!
|
|
Luigi
Bewildered Beginner
Posts: 0
Likes: 2
|
Post by Luigi on Jan 29, 2004 17:51:46 GMT -5
J: Nice concept, very good set up but it would be nice for more detail. Captiosus: We'd help you if you want. J: If not, fine. I spend too much time here, anyway.
|
|
|
Post by 0pinstripeesme0 on Jan 29, 2004 18:21:19 GMT -5
Hey! Thanks everyone for your really nice comments, and J, sure! I'd love for you to help me if you wanted to
|
|
Luigi
Bewildered Beginner
Posts: 0
Likes: 2
|
Post by Luigi on Jan 29, 2004 18:40:42 GMT -5
A young Esme slouched onto a dirty leather couch, engulfed in the smog that leaked into the house's crumbling walls. She sighed. How very out everything was. She was often critisized in school for it--she tried hard to be as in as she could with the limited money her family had, but they were getting more poor every day. One of the only In things she had was a dress--a very expensive dress. She loved that dress more than anything, even more than her family's well being. She arose from the shabby couch and went to the closet to look for her dress. Sometimes she would just look at it and daydream about having a whole closetful of in dresses and a large, enormous house. She looked through the closet and double checked--she would have found the dress already. Amongst her familys' shabby, torn and dirty clothes, the dress shone and stood out like gold in a pile of pebbles. But it wasn't there. Esme's face turned red. It was them Her mother entered the room. Esme turned and glared at her. "Where is it?" Esme barked. "Where is it?" Her mother asked. "My dress!" Esme cried. " Esme I am so sorry dearest, we had to sell you're, um, what was it? Oh yes, you're um, dress?" said Esme's mom quietly. "WHAT? YOU SOLD MY VERY "IN" DRESS?" screamed Esme in a bloodcurling fashion. " We had to, your father was laid off from work again, and we need to pay the bills and let you eat darling! I wouldn't do it if I didn't have to!" Esme's mother cried, as she shielded her eyes from falling paint chips that came from the ceiling. Esme glared nastily at her mother. Her eyes went up and down, up and down until she finally spoke. She turned even redder and her voice quavered. "When I get older, I will be so rich and own everything I want. I will have every "in" item that I need, and even don't need. I will have a huge house all to myself and to my collection of very In things. I will be the richest woman and not once will I think of you. You've done nothing for me---never did anything--I don't owe you--" spoke Esme breathily. Tears formed in both their eyes. Esme let out at disgruntled "OH!" and then ran into her room, slamming the door and making it rain paint chips.
Er...well...you know...just...sorry, didn't mean to impose on your story.
|
|
|
Post by 0pinstripeesme0 on Jan 29, 2004 21:07:20 GMT -5
That's awesome, thanks for the ideas!
|
|
|
Post by ErsatzBabe09 on Jan 29, 2004 21:14:34 GMT -5
0PinstripeEsme0, your story is mad good!!! good job! write another one!
|
|
|
Post by The Amazing...Spider-Man! on Jan 31, 2004 7:44:32 GMT -5
i like both
|
|
|
Post by 0pinstripeesme0 on Feb 17, 2004 22:13:13 GMT -5
thx!
|
|