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Post by Countess Mecilia on Apr 25, 2004 13:20:25 GMT -5
Eh, this is pretty much my first attempt at writing poetry. Yeah, please read and review it. Thanks. Auto-pilot Living and Striving and Working, For what?
Though it is midsummer, she feels cold. She realizes, when she comes home, That she has done Nothing. And she is, Nothing.
All she is, is a being. All she does, is exist. There may be one day, Where the pain reaches out, Speaks to her and gives her life.
For now, she is there. No emotions cross her mind. She is neutral.
But a silent living doll, In a world of vibrance. Loneliness. Though there are many around.
Make her real! She is living, And striving, And working, On auto-pilot.
But the pilot is not there, And may never be.
Let her live! But a person must be true. And if this half-life is true, So be it.
So be it for this sad, Sad creature. Just do not come to me, When she fades away.
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Post by negativenine on Apr 25, 2004 14:13:49 GMT -5
I like it... it is kind of numb-ish (like swans said), but I think that may be a good thing. It's sort of calm in a sad way, but not a really depressing way, just kind of numb. I like the "when she fades away". Good last line. Keep writing!
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