Post by PJ on Sept 2, 2005 3:37:45 GMT -5
So. I just wrote this. Just like that. No planning. It popped into my mind, and I wrote it. I didn't even go over it again. This is pure, unfiltered, PJ. Isn't the thought scary? But yeah, so don't except too much. I just felt like writing, so I did this. Try not to be offended, or something, if your parallel self is dissapointing.
Parallel Universes
It happened one day, quite randomly, with no forewarning at all. PJ and Dante were arguing quite viciously about time-traveling and the consequences thereof, when all of a sudden a strange rift appeared in the air before them. PJ instantly suspected that it was Dave’s work, but the spoon was nowhere to be seen. The grey tear in the air seemed to widen, like a wound in time and space.
The pair stepped back, shouting that they had found something. Antenora, A. and Akbar, who happened to be close, came rushing when they heard their friends’ cries. Upon seeing the strange portal they froze, uncertain of what was happening. “Is this some kind of prank?” Akbar asked Dante, whilst PJ picked up a random rock and threw it at the portal before Antenora could shout “Stop!” The rock sailed towards the rift and entered it. From within the grey space, someone shouted “Ouch!” The voice sounded vaguely familiar, but the 667ers present couldn’t place it. Then Swans appeared, and she didn’t even bother glaring at Dante, so engrossed was she with the rift. “What is this thing?” She asked. Everyone shrugged.
The rift widened some more, and a hand reached through it. It was a normal hand, but the 667ers stepped back in shock, even though they knew that some sort of creature was in the portal. “I’m gonna pull it through.” Dante said grimly, and walked towards the hand. He touched a finger, and the hand recoiled. “Hey!” Shouted someone’s voice through the portal. It was clearly feminine. Dante grabbed her hand, and pulled sharply. The someone shouted and fell right onto Dante, and the two bowled over. Dante and the female instantly leapt up, glaring at one another. To the surprise of the surrounding 667ers (Ennui and Derik had joined) it was Annelise. “Miss A.!” Derik exclaimed, “What are you doing here?” A. looked at him strangely, and stepped back from Dante. For the first time, they saw the large sword at her side.
A. drew the sword, and warned them not to come closer. “A.!” Dante said, eyes on the blade. “Quit calling me that.” She said, eyeing the motley group warily. “My name is Amiss.” Antenora seemed to grasp the idea quicker than the others. “That’s Miss A. backwards!” She pointed out. Derik laughed, but soon stopped. Amiss took a step towards the portal, which had widened to about one meter across, two meters in height. “Come out, it’s safe.” She said, glaring at the 667ers.
A precession of people leapt out of the rift, each with some sort of weapon at their side. To the great surprise of the 667ers, several people who were already present came out of the portal. Soon Amiss was joined by another Dante, PJ, Antenora, Derik, Sam, Swans, Akbar and Ennui.
The Dantes, PJs, Antenoras and Deriks all stared at each other surprised. Finally Derik, as global moderator decided he ought to take charge. “Right. You lot look like your from a parallel dimension. First of all, who’s your leader?” Amiss stepped forwards. “I am global moderator of 665 Light Street.” She snarled, her sword still held in front of her. Derik seemed too surprised to continue, so Antenora took the lead. “Well, I’m a moderator of 667 Dark Avenue.” “Their forum name sounds stupider than ours.” The PJs both whispered to the Akbars. “Well, uh, why have you come here?” Derik asked, taking charge again.
“Us? You were the one that initiated contact, by opening the portal! We were sent by our leader to investigate.” Amiss said, staring suspiciously at the 667ers. “They’re more grumpier than us.” PJ whispered to Dante, who had retreated to a safe distance. “And they have weapons.” Dante whispered back. “Not a good combination.” Akbar said, joining the whispered conversation. “What are you lot whispering about?” The parallel Akbar shouted at them, brandishing a long knife. “May I ask why you have you come armed?” Dante asked, trying to be as polite as possible.
“Well, if some rift to another world opens up, you don’t just jump into it unprotected.” 665 Derik shouted at them. The tension rose. Akbar slowly was reaching for the dagger he hid in his boot. Normally, it was only used to impress people at parties, but he kept it sharp for occasions like this.
The two sides stayed silent, glaring at each other. 667 Dante glared at 665 Swans, who smiled back with a puzzled look on her face. Parallel-Ennui looked at Antenora with a hard look on his face, and the PJs looked at their nails. They needed a trim, they decided, when Sam came onto the scene. 667 Sam, that is. A six-pack of beer dangled from his arm, and the 665ers instantly brightened up when he came staggering towards them. “?” Sam simply said, before tossing himself a beer can. His parallel self caught it, and with a disgusted look, handed it to Dante who quickly opened it. “lets go have a drnk, nd explain sum stuff” BSam said, throwing beers to random people.
Five minutes later, in a comfy nook of the forum, the 665ers and the 667ers sat, sipping various refreshments (the 665ers all had alcoholic beverages, except for their Sam, who had water). Finally, after everyone had had a sip, Derik and Amiss both asked, at the same time, to tell about their respective forums. Both laughed, and Amiss began.
“Our forum is named after a street in a book called the Lofty Lift, 665 Light Street. Our forum is pretty much dedicated to discussing Loney M. Setnick’s books, though we talk about other things as well. Our admin, Pig, is a pretty good-“ She was cut off by Dante, who exclaimed loudly at the word “Pig”. “What? Pig is your admin?” He asked, horrified. Amiss raised her eyebrows and nodded. “He’s a bit over-enthusiastic, but otherwise he’s a nice guy.” Dante sat back down, and ran his hand through his long hair. “I’m sorry…but in this forum, Pig is a spammer who personally insulted me and many others. He’s not very popular, as it is…” Amiss frowned. “You tell us about your forum now.” She said, clearly wanting some return-information before she divulged more. Their universe was a suspicious one, in which there was a lot of fighting.
“Well, Tragedy is the admin of OUR forum, and-“ Amiss’ frown deepened. “Tragedy? I don’t recall any member called that.” 665 Ennui stepped forwards. “I recall some n00bish member called “Targedy” joining a while ago, but he hasn’t posted much, so most of us ignored him.” Amiss nodded, and Derik continued with his tale. “Our forum is called 667 Dark Avenue, and the book it appears in is called The Ersatz Elevator.” Here 665 PJ snorted loudly, and whispered something to Dante, who tried not to grin. He sipped some more beer, and Derik continued. “The author is Lemony Snicket, and I’m the global moderator. Antenora and Dante, here, are moderators. The others aren’t present at the moment.” Amiss smiled strangely. “In our forum, JP and Almak are the moderators for Terrible Tomes and Annoying Arguments.”
“Akbar.” Akbar said, through clenched teeth. “My name is Akbar.” Amiss frowned. “No, you’re Almak. Isn’t Akbar a stupid nickname that Derik came up in our Big Sister game?” Amiss asked. Akbar blinked and said. “I think we should exchange names, then, if you have different ones. “Certainly. Amiss said. “These are ASam, Datne, Anetora, JP, Derki, Swns, Enui and Almak. And Amiss, myself.” The 667ers frowned. “Ours are called BSam, Dante, Antenora, PJ, Derik, Swans, Ennui and Akbar.” PJ nodded. “PJ sounds better than JP.” He said, a satisfied smirk on his face. JP’s eyes narrowed, but he didn’t argue.
“Well, then, I guess we should all team up with our counter-parts and see what they are like!” Derik announced, rubbing his hands together. He approached Derki, smiling broadly. There was a momentary confusion, when everyone milled around, trying to find their partners, and then everyone spilled out of the cosy nook, and took their parallel universe-ians on a tour.
Datne refused to go without fetching another beer, and by the time they were out on the streets of 667, Dante was really, really annoyed. “Nice place you have here.” Datne said, sipping his beer. “Bit drab, though. Our forum is all bright colours.” Dante eyed the bright orange tracksuit his counterpart was wearing, and inwardly groaned. “So…do you have any hobbies?” He finally asked. Datne nodded his head eagerly. “Sure do, buddy. I love sports. Especially football. And, of course, declaring my undying love for my e-wife.” Dante, finding something to talk about, asked “You and Anetora are e-married?” Datne raised an eyebrow. “No, stupid. Swns.”
When Dante came to, his head was hurting. He sat up, looking around, embarrassed. No-one had seen him faint, except for his counterpart. “You all right, man?” Datne asked, concerned. “Sure,” Dante said, picking himself up. “My darn immune system is acting up. Ever since the operation…” Datne’s eyes widened. “What operation?” Dante waved the question aside. Bile rose in his throat as he thought of him and Swans…together. “Uh, also, I find it a bit strange that you and Swns are together.” He coughed, feeling ill. “Because, you know, in this universe, she makes me physically sick.” Datne stepped back, scowling. “You’re joking…” He said, unsure. “No, really. She’s my worst enemy. We had a huge row, and she kinda…left 667 for a while. She came back, though.” He sat down on a bench. He coughed again. “Woa…you guys really are different.” But by the way he said it, Dante could tell he wasn’t totally convinced. He sighed, loudly.
Swans and Swns had a similar conversation; it seemed as though their personalities were completely opposite to one another. After a coffee, in which Swans discovered Swns’ relationship with Datne, they spoke little.
BSam and ASam only spoke a little, for ASam had absolutely no sense of humour, was into collecting stamps, and had never ever had alcohol. BSam, after calling him a loser, fell asleep in some bushes.
“So, you’re G-Mod! Congratulations.” Said A., patting herself on the back. Amiss smiled. “I was one of the first to join this forum, and Pig trusts me a lot.” Miss A. nodded. “I only joined a few months ago, but I’ve got a few friends in the “popular” group.” A. smiled. “Heh, first weekend here, I had an e-daycare center and got married to Sam, PJ, Phoenix, Derik, Beatrice, Rellim and a whole lot of other people. I got a strike for it, though…” “What!?” Amiss said, staring at A. with disproval on her face. Amiss hadn’t ever received a strike, and she didn’t plan to. She treated A. rather coldly after this.
“So.” Derik said, after inviting his counter part to some root beer. “What music you like?” Derki smiled. “Oh, lots. Mostly System of a Down and The Who, though. You?” Derik’s face puckered up. “Eewww.” He said. “The Beatles, Weird Al, Queen, Green Day, you know, GOOD STUFF.” Derki smiled. “You’re universe is all wonky. In the bad way.” Derik smiled. “You’re pretty cool.” He said. “But your music taste sucks.”
Antenora and her counterpart formed a kind of strained relationship. For one, Antenora disapproved of the mini-skirt, Ugg Boots and tank-top Anetora wore, whilst Anetora disapproved of Antenora’s boring interest in books. She preferred boys, and music. After learning about Dantenora, Anetora scowled. “He’s too…happy.” She finally said. Antenora frowned. “So…who are you with?” She asked. “Enui, of course. He’s more my type of person.”
Enui wore a black leather jacket, tight jeans, white shirt, and had his ears pierced. When they arrived at Ennui’s flat, the first thing Ennui asked was “Where’s the motor bike?” It went kinda downhill from there.
The Akbar/Almak team had a relatively good time, owing to the fact that they both liked mageeing about the people in their forum, and because they were both so stylish. “And Sam! He’s so boring and nerdy!” Almak could be hear saying loudly, as the two relaxed on Akbar’s stylish sofa. Flicking through the stylish Tv-channels, he announced that the television “in your crazy universe” sucked.
To everyone’s annoyance and the PJs delight, they were pretty much the same. When the author was questioned about this later, he simply said “Two PJ’s, double the comic relief.” “People mostly call me Jay.” JP said, in answer to PJ’s question about his “lame name”. Overall, they had a great time.
Later that night, the 667ers gathered up in one room, whilst the 665ers gathered in another, to discuss their findings. “Their crazy!” Ennui bellowed, the instant he had separated himself from his partner. “And skimpy!” Antenora announced. “And too happy!” Dante shouted, looking unhappy. “And they have the wrong partner!” Ennui, Antenora, Dante and Swans shouted at the top of their voice. “They aren’t that bad.” Derik and Akbar said, simultaneously. “If he was a chick, or I was gay, I’d so marry him.” PJ announced, a looking happy.
“I want them OUT!” Dante shouted, in a very un-Dante-ish way. Antenora, Ennui, Sam and Swans all agreed. “They STAY!” Derik, Akbar and PJ announced just as loudly. Annelise so far had said nothing. All eyes turned to her when she stood. “She’s ok, I guess. Just a bit…stiff. But I think we should give them a chance.” Derik nodded in agreement, and the entire room erupted into arguments once more.
Suddenly, the entire room shook. Nay, the entire FORUM shook. There was a moment of silence, and then PJ and Dante looked at each other simultaneously. “Oh oh.” They both said. “Earthquake!” Derik shrieked hysterically, hiding under a table, Colin at his side. “Nope. It’s worse.“ PJ said, knowingly. „Standard law of parallel universes.” Dante said, grimly. “If people from another universe stay in this one too long, this universe begins to crumble. They have to get back, as soon as possible, before this entire universe is destroyed.” As soon as he finished, the entire room crumbled again. They heard voices from next door, and they realised JP was explaining the situation to the 665ers.
They rushed out at the same time as the 665ers. “To the rift!” Dante and JP both cried melodramatically, and the crowd of 667ers and 665ers charged towards the grey wound in time and space as fast as they could, whilst the forum around them shook. Several of the towers had long cracks in them, and looked as though they were about to fall down. Screams filled the night. The 665ers put on a spurt of speed.
Within a minute, they had reached the portal. Most 665ers leapt in without a goodbye, but then again, they hadn’t really bonded well. Almak waved Akbar goodbye before stepping into the portal. Derik and Derki hugged, before Derki had to leave, and PJ and JP pretended to weep, and they screamed and stamped, for they had found great friends within each other. They hugged one last time, before JP too had to enter the portal, which had begun to shrink again. Just after JP’s foot disappeared, the portal closed with a crack like a whip, and the earth stopped shaking. It was over.
Now, you probably all think this story is pointless, and idiotic, but it has a vital moral attached to it: Remember, no matter what you do, no matter how great you become, your other self is probably lying, penniless and unconscious in some ditch. Vice Versa, too. When you screw up, majorly, your parallel self just won the lotto.
Actually, that moral wasn’t vital at all. Ok, I admit it. The story is pointless. I just felt like writing it. If it ever happens, at least you’ll have SOME experience in the matter, whilst they’ll have read a story about rabbits or something, instead.
Parallel Universes
It happened one day, quite randomly, with no forewarning at all. PJ and Dante were arguing quite viciously about time-traveling and the consequences thereof, when all of a sudden a strange rift appeared in the air before them. PJ instantly suspected that it was Dave’s work, but the spoon was nowhere to be seen. The grey tear in the air seemed to widen, like a wound in time and space.
The pair stepped back, shouting that they had found something. Antenora, A. and Akbar, who happened to be close, came rushing when they heard their friends’ cries. Upon seeing the strange portal they froze, uncertain of what was happening. “Is this some kind of prank?” Akbar asked Dante, whilst PJ picked up a random rock and threw it at the portal before Antenora could shout “Stop!” The rock sailed towards the rift and entered it. From within the grey space, someone shouted “Ouch!” The voice sounded vaguely familiar, but the 667ers present couldn’t place it. Then Swans appeared, and she didn’t even bother glaring at Dante, so engrossed was she with the rift. “What is this thing?” She asked. Everyone shrugged.
The rift widened some more, and a hand reached through it. It was a normal hand, but the 667ers stepped back in shock, even though they knew that some sort of creature was in the portal. “I’m gonna pull it through.” Dante said grimly, and walked towards the hand. He touched a finger, and the hand recoiled. “Hey!” Shouted someone’s voice through the portal. It was clearly feminine. Dante grabbed her hand, and pulled sharply. The someone shouted and fell right onto Dante, and the two bowled over. Dante and the female instantly leapt up, glaring at one another. To the surprise of the surrounding 667ers (Ennui and Derik had joined) it was Annelise. “Miss A.!” Derik exclaimed, “What are you doing here?” A. looked at him strangely, and stepped back from Dante. For the first time, they saw the large sword at her side.
A. drew the sword, and warned them not to come closer. “A.!” Dante said, eyes on the blade. “Quit calling me that.” She said, eyeing the motley group warily. “My name is Amiss.” Antenora seemed to grasp the idea quicker than the others. “That’s Miss A. backwards!” She pointed out. Derik laughed, but soon stopped. Amiss took a step towards the portal, which had widened to about one meter across, two meters in height. “Come out, it’s safe.” She said, glaring at the 667ers.
A precession of people leapt out of the rift, each with some sort of weapon at their side. To the great surprise of the 667ers, several people who were already present came out of the portal. Soon Amiss was joined by another Dante, PJ, Antenora, Derik, Sam, Swans, Akbar and Ennui.
The Dantes, PJs, Antenoras and Deriks all stared at each other surprised. Finally Derik, as global moderator decided he ought to take charge. “Right. You lot look like your from a parallel dimension. First of all, who’s your leader?” Amiss stepped forwards. “I am global moderator of 665 Light Street.” She snarled, her sword still held in front of her. Derik seemed too surprised to continue, so Antenora took the lead. “Well, I’m a moderator of 667 Dark Avenue.” “Their forum name sounds stupider than ours.” The PJs both whispered to the Akbars. “Well, uh, why have you come here?” Derik asked, taking charge again.
“Us? You were the one that initiated contact, by opening the portal! We were sent by our leader to investigate.” Amiss said, staring suspiciously at the 667ers. “They’re more grumpier than us.” PJ whispered to Dante, who had retreated to a safe distance. “And they have weapons.” Dante whispered back. “Not a good combination.” Akbar said, joining the whispered conversation. “What are you lot whispering about?” The parallel Akbar shouted at them, brandishing a long knife. “May I ask why you have you come armed?” Dante asked, trying to be as polite as possible.
“Well, if some rift to another world opens up, you don’t just jump into it unprotected.” 665 Derik shouted at them. The tension rose. Akbar slowly was reaching for the dagger he hid in his boot. Normally, it was only used to impress people at parties, but he kept it sharp for occasions like this.
The two sides stayed silent, glaring at each other. 667 Dante glared at 665 Swans, who smiled back with a puzzled look on her face. Parallel-Ennui looked at Antenora with a hard look on his face, and the PJs looked at their nails. They needed a trim, they decided, when Sam came onto the scene. 667 Sam, that is. A six-pack of beer dangled from his arm, and the 665ers instantly brightened up when he came staggering towards them. “?” Sam simply said, before tossing himself a beer can. His parallel self caught it, and with a disgusted look, handed it to Dante who quickly opened it. “lets go have a drnk, nd explain sum stuff” BSam said, throwing beers to random people.
Five minutes later, in a comfy nook of the forum, the 665ers and the 667ers sat, sipping various refreshments (the 665ers all had alcoholic beverages, except for their Sam, who had water). Finally, after everyone had had a sip, Derik and Amiss both asked, at the same time, to tell about their respective forums. Both laughed, and Amiss began.
“Our forum is named after a street in a book called the Lofty Lift, 665 Light Street. Our forum is pretty much dedicated to discussing Loney M. Setnick’s books, though we talk about other things as well. Our admin, Pig, is a pretty good-“ She was cut off by Dante, who exclaimed loudly at the word “Pig”. “What? Pig is your admin?” He asked, horrified. Amiss raised her eyebrows and nodded. “He’s a bit over-enthusiastic, but otherwise he’s a nice guy.” Dante sat back down, and ran his hand through his long hair. “I’m sorry…but in this forum, Pig is a spammer who personally insulted me and many others. He’s not very popular, as it is…” Amiss frowned. “You tell us about your forum now.” She said, clearly wanting some return-information before she divulged more. Their universe was a suspicious one, in which there was a lot of fighting.
“Well, Tragedy is the admin of OUR forum, and-“ Amiss’ frown deepened. “Tragedy? I don’t recall any member called that.” 665 Ennui stepped forwards. “I recall some n00bish member called “Targedy” joining a while ago, but he hasn’t posted much, so most of us ignored him.” Amiss nodded, and Derik continued with his tale. “Our forum is called 667 Dark Avenue, and the book it appears in is called The Ersatz Elevator.” Here 665 PJ snorted loudly, and whispered something to Dante, who tried not to grin. He sipped some more beer, and Derik continued. “The author is Lemony Snicket, and I’m the global moderator. Antenora and Dante, here, are moderators. The others aren’t present at the moment.” Amiss smiled strangely. “In our forum, JP and Almak are the moderators for Terrible Tomes and Annoying Arguments.”
“Akbar.” Akbar said, through clenched teeth. “My name is Akbar.” Amiss frowned. “No, you’re Almak. Isn’t Akbar a stupid nickname that Derik came up in our Big Sister game?” Amiss asked. Akbar blinked and said. “I think we should exchange names, then, if you have different ones. “Certainly. Amiss said. “These are ASam, Datne, Anetora, JP, Derki, Swns, Enui and Almak. And Amiss, myself.” The 667ers frowned. “Ours are called BSam, Dante, Antenora, PJ, Derik, Swans, Ennui and Akbar.” PJ nodded. “PJ sounds better than JP.” He said, a satisfied smirk on his face. JP’s eyes narrowed, but he didn’t argue.
“Well, then, I guess we should all team up with our counter-parts and see what they are like!” Derik announced, rubbing his hands together. He approached Derki, smiling broadly. There was a momentary confusion, when everyone milled around, trying to find their partners, and then everyone spilled out of the cosy nook, and took their parallel universe-ians on a tour.
Datne refused to go without fetching another beer, and by the time they were out on the streets of 667, Dante was really, really annoyed. “Nice place you have here.” Datne said, sipping his beer. “Bit drab, though. Our forum is all bright colours.” Dante eyed the bright orange tracksuit his counterpart was wearing, and inwardly groaned. “So…do you have any hobbies?” He finally asked. Datne nodded his head eagerly. “Sure do, buddy. I love sports. Especially football. And, of course, declaring my undying love for my e-wife.” Dante, finding something to talk about, asked “You and Anetora are e-married?” Datne raised an eyebrow. “No, stupid. Swns.”
When Dante came to, his head was hurting. He sat up, looking around, embarrassed. No-one had seen him faint, except for his counterpart. “You all right, man?” Datne asked, concerned. “Sure,” Dante said, picking himself up. “My darn immune system is acting up. Ever since the operation…” Datne’s eyes widened. “What operation?” Dante waved the question aside. Bile rose in his throat as he thought of him and Swans…together. “Uh, also, I find it a bit strange that you and Swns are together.” He coughed, feeling ill. “Because, you know, in this universe, she makes me physically sick.” Datne stepped back, scowling. “You’re joking…” He said, unsure. “No, really. She’s my worst enemy. We had a huge row, and she kinda…left 667 for a while. She came back, though.” He sat down on a bench. He coughed again. “Woa…you guys really are different.” But by the way he said it, Dante could tell he wasn’t totally convinced. He sighed, loudly.
Swans and Swns had a similar conversation; it seemed as though their personalities were completely opposite to one another. After a coffee, in which Swans discovered Swns’ relationship with Datne, they spoke little.
BSam and ASam only spoke a little, for ASam had absolutely no sense of humour, was into collecting stamps, and had never ever had alcohol. BSam, after calling him a loser, fell asleep in some bushes.
“So, you’re G-Mod! Congratulations.” Said A., patting herself on the back. Amiss smiled. “I was one of the first to join this forum, and Pig trusts me a lot.” Miss A. nodded. “I only joined a few months ago, but I’ve got a few friends in the “popular” group.” A. smiled. “Heh, first weekend here, I had an e-daycare center and got married to Sam, PJ, Phoenix, Derik, Beatrice, Rellim and a whole lot of other people. I got a strike for it, though…” “What!?” Amiss said, staring at A. with disproval on her face. Amiss hadn’t ever received a strike, and she didn’t plan to. She treated A. rather coldly after this.
“So.” Derik said, after inviting his counter part to some root beer. “What music you like?” Derki smiled. “Oh, lots. Mostly System of a Down and The Who, though. You?” Derik’s face puckered up. “Eewww.” He said. “The Beatles, Weird Al, Queen, Green Day, you know, GOOD STUFF.” Derki smiled. “You’re universe is all wonky. In the bad way.” Derik smiled. “You’re pretty cool.” He said. “But your music taste sucks.”
Antenora and her counterpart formed a kind of strained relationship. For one, Antenora disapproved of the mini-skirt, Ugg Boots and tank-top Anetora wore, whilst Anetora disapproved of Antenora’s boring interest in books. She preferred boys, and music. After learning about Dantenora, Anetora scowled. “He’s too…happy.” She finally said. Antenora frowned. “So…who are you with?” She asked. “Enui, of course. He’s more my type of person.”
Enui wore a black leather jacket, tight jeans, white shirt, and had his ears pierced. When they arrived at Ennui’s flat, the first thing Ennui asked was “Where’s the motor bike?” It went kinda downhill from there.
The Akbar/Almak team had a relatively good time, owing to the fact that they both liked mageeing about the people in their forum, and because they were both so stylish. “And Sam! He’s so boring and nerdy!” Almak could be hear saying loudly, as the two relaxed on Akbar’s stylish sofa. Flicking through the stylish Tv-channels, he announced that the television “in your crazy universe” sucked.
To everyone’s annoyance and the PJs delight, they were pretty much the same. When the author was questioned about this later, he simply said “Two PJ’s, double the comic relief.” “People mostly call me Jay.” JP said, in answer to PJ’s question about his “lame name”. Overall, they had a great time.
Later that night, the 667ers gathered up in one room, whilst the 665ers gathered in another, to discuss their findings. “Their crazy!” Ennui bellowed, the instant he had separated himself from his partner. “And skimpy!” Antenora announced. “And too happy!” Dante shouted, looking unhappy. “And they have the wrong partner!” Ennui, Antenora, Dante and Swans shouted at the top of their voice. “They aren’t that bad.” Derik and Akbar said, simultaneously. “If he was a chick, or I was gay, I’d so marry him.” PJ announced, a looking happy.
“I want them OUT!” Dante shouted, in a very un-Dante-ish way. Antenora, Ennui, Sam and Swans all agreed. “They STAY!” Derik, Akbar and PJ announced just as loudly. Annelise so far had said nothing. All eyes turned to her when she stood. “She’s ok, I guess. Just a bit…stiff. But I think we should give them a chance.” Derik nodded in agreement, and the entire room erupted into arguments once more.
Suddenly, the entire room shook. Nay, the entire FORUM shook. There was a moment of silence, and then PJ and Dante looked at each other simultaneously. “Oh oh.” They both said. “Earthquake!” Derik shrieked hysterically, hiding under a table, Colin at his side. “Nope. It’s worse.“ PJ said, knowingly. „Standard law of parallel universes.” Dante said, grimly. “If people from another universe stay in this one too long, this universe begins to crumble. They have to get back, as soon as possible, before this entire universe is destroyed.” As soon as he finished, the entire room crumbled again. They heard voices from next door, and they realised JP was explaining the situation to the 665ers.
They rushed out at the same time as the 665ers. “To the rift!” Dante and JP both cried melodramatically, and the crowd of 667ers and 665ers charged towards the grey wound in time and space as fast as they could, whilst the forum around them shook. Several of the towers had long cracks in them, and looked as though they were about to fall down. Screams filled the night. The 665ers put on a spurt of speed.
Within a minute, they had reached the portal. Most 665ers leapt in without a goodbye, but then again, they hadn’t really bonded well. Almak waved Akbar goodbye before stepping into the portal. Derik and Derki hugged, before Derki had to leave, and PJ and JP pretended to weep, and they screamed and stamped, for they had found great friends within each other. They hugged one last time, before JP too had to enter the portal, which had begun to shrink again. Just after JP’s foot disappeared, the portal closed with a crack like a whip, and the earth stopped shaking. It was over.
Now, you probably all think this story is pointless, and idiotic, but it has a vital moral attached to it: Remember, no matter what you do, no matter how great you become, your other self is probably lying, penniless and unconscious in some ditch. Vice Versa, too. When you screw up, majorly, your parallel self just won the lotto.
Actually, that moral wasn’t vital at all. Ok, I admit it. The story is pointless. I just felt like writing it. If it ever happens, at least you’ll have SOME experience in the matter, whilst they’ll have read a story about rabbits or something, instead.