Post by Akbar Le Grey on Jan 29, 2006 2:30:10 GMT -5
Editor : Akbar Le Grey.
Columnists: PJ, Linda, A., Jemima, J.
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THE STORY: What really happened.
By Linda.
Ok, this all started out with a crazy idea I had to make an account, make a few posts claiming to be better than everyone else, and then probably make a post saying that people didn't understand Best or something and delete the account. And so I did. I made the account and started the "Snobbish Elitists" thread that you posted in, as well as a greeting thread. Then I had to go. When I came back, I replied to all the posts that people had made in both threads, then got this idea to maybe pretend I was trying to take over, the "Discourse on Power" thread. PJ and J were both online at the time, and so I discussed things with them for a while, pretending that Best really was gonig to take over the world. They sent me some questions and I answered them as ruthless-sounding as I could. J was in full support of Best, but PJ was not. It started to get late, and J left. I was about ready to go to bed when I decided to tell PJ what was going on. He laughed about it for a bit, and then I gave him the password and told him he could carry on as Best while I was sleeping. We also discussed letting Ennui in on it, since he could carry on when PJ went to bed.
In the morning, when I checked again, Ennui had given Best an avatar and a signature, and PJ and Ennui had made some posts under Best's name throughout the night. Ennui and J were both on, and Ennui asked if we should let Dante in on it, so I said he could tell Dante. I told J about it, and she was very enthusiastic about becoming Best. Dante thought it was boring, and so he didn't join us. Throughout the day, all four of us randomly logged in as Best and posted stuff, then logged out again.
A new member named "iknowwhatshedid" registered, then sent me threatening PMs that implied he or she had seen the PMs from the Best account, and so the password was changed and J and I anonymously threatened that person back until he/she stopped bugging us.
Last night (well, moring for you), I was not online, but Ennui, PJ, and J all mde posts, and Best made nearly 30 posts, though I don't know who posted what. Ennui suggested we retire Best and pull it out again in a month or so, and PJ suggested we frame Pig and then delete the account, but they're not online now and so I can't speak with them about that, although framing Pig is not something I want to do. I've been logged in as Best for a while now, and I knew someone else was too becuase I sent a PM to Best, and someone else read it, and there's also been a couple PMs sent and posts made that I didn't make. I didn't think it was anything to worry about until the password was changed. Dupin, if it was you that's changed the password as a joke, it's not funny. And that's about it.
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PJ’s Rant.
So Akbar has decreed that I shall write 10 rants for this and next week. Which sucks major ass because I have enormous trouble writing just ONE Rant per week. But 10? It’s a bit over-done, I might say. Besides, the 667er suffers as a result.
Since I have plenty of time and space to write, I’ll probably concentrate-rant so as to avoid using up all the topics quickly.
First of all, this whole punishment thing. For one, Akbar has no right to be the one to deal the punishments out, though since there won’t be one otherwise, I guess this will have to do.
Still, I can’t help be annoyed. 20 rants is an ENORMOUS amount to write. And I only have like 3 hours left to do the first batch of 10. I mean, maybe 5 per week, that would have been manageable, but 10?
Not to be traitorous or anything, but I really tried not to insult anyone. I DID called Ennui a Jackass, and I think I said “worm” once, but honestly, most of what I did was arguing with Pandora, and a few isolated-arguments.
Then again, as you guys can only see the results of Best as a whole, you can only JUDGE us as a whole, so I don’t mind as much. They’re just doing their job. Or what they think is right.
That said, I’m rather annoyed the Ennui and J. escaped punishment. Judge us all equally, sure, but then you should PUNISH us equally, too. J. and Ennui get off scot-free, oh, sure, you might give them a bit more evil-eye, but still.
Linda gets two weeks of no writing. Then a few weeks probation. What’s there to probate about interviewing? No offense, Linda, but interviews are more about the person being interviewed, as opposed to the interviewee person. There’s not much you can screw up.
Rant Number Two coming up. Since there isn’t much else to talk about, I guess I’ll just go on about the Best of the Best scandal.
What exactly is so different from us than Guidecca? Guidecca threatened to kill us all, screwed the entire forum up, and pulled a whole lot of tricks. But we all just laughed and congratulated them when we found out who it was. So now we’re suddenly the Anti-Christ?
I seriously overestimated you people…I thought you could take a joke, or an insult but I was obviously wrong. I think you’re all over-reacting.
Also, as for Linda, I think she’s mostly innocent. She’s a nice, sweet girl, and she just wanted to stir things up. I know you all think she’s Satan, or something, but she’s still the same Linda. She regrets it all, anyways. Akbar’s almost reduced her to tears, it seems. It makes me sad that she’s copping most of the blame. Know only that I still trust and like you, Linda, even if everyone else doesn’t.
I mean, when Best first appeared, I argued with him, and treated it all very seriously. If this guy was going to take over the world, should I join him? After lengthy debate, in which I hadn’t quite decided which side I should be on, I finally decided that killing, or the aiding thereof, was wrong, so I opposed Best. Shortly later Linda came and recruited me, and I started my little double-agent life.
The moral of this story is that I enjoyed arguing with Best. I enjoyed the whole discussion, the excitement. 667 hasn’t been as exciting in quite a while. I can’t help it. I like Drama.
More Best, I’m afraid. This one is directed at all the wannabe’s out there. You know who I’m talking about. We’ve come across at least 4 different accounts people have used to threaten/insult us, and it’s rather Hypocritical, I must say.
Iknowwhatshedid, who turned out to be Dupin, just kept sending us creepy threatening PMs about how he was disappointed in us and how he could expose us at any given moment; rather un-Dupinish if I do say so myself. You should have gone about it differently, Dupin, perhaps expressing your deep disappointment, and your hope that we would stop. But not like that.
Secondly. Karma. Username: bestservedcold. This person is the most agreeable shadow-account. He or she initially expressed disappointment, and intended to use their account for revenge, i.e. by insulting the various Bests, though they seemed to have a dislike for insulting people, and seem to regret having done what they’ve done. Still, rather disappointing that they’ve decided to come at us from the Shadows. Why do you feel the need to use a mask? Why can you not show your face? I relish a good argument, but this cryptic shadow-bullsalsa is just annoying. If you have a problem, say so.
The lowestofthelow, that was a joke-account, or so I assume, made by SkeletonKey. Or someone in her family. Whatever. It’s a joke one, made to counteract Best in a funny manner, so I have absolutely no quarrel with her. Good on you. It was you that partially kept the game going… we figured that you were treating us like a joke, so it was allright. I guess to some people it wasn’t.
The worst, is Best. Yes, a Best-clone. This parasite has invaded not 667, but Big Brother. *heddesk*. It claims to be good friends with Akbar, so I’m assuming it’s another of those crazed-revenge people. Heck, they’ve even PMed me saying that I was right “about this being a nice mask and all.” This problem is obviously mocking us, and is trying to annoy us. This person, I dislike immensely. They’ve taken on the guise of Best as revenge, and, in doing so, think they’re actually righteous. Bah.
Oh. Here we go. The Random Fact thread is 500 pages long. And…gasp…It’s on the second page! No! Where are Dante and Antenora? No, really, they seem to have disappeared during the whole Best thing. But back to the RFT. I’ve made roughly 600 posts in there. Cool. Using my spiffy IB-regulated calculator, I have worked out that I have made 13% of all of those posts. Wow. That’s quite a bit. Looking back at it, I think my calculator may be broken. Roughly 8000 posts. I made 500 of them. How can that be 13%? Oh well, I’m too lazy to work it out.
Hmm. Now. Dantenora. They’ve only been in BB and the Feedback section. How strange. Perhaps this is some kind of silent boycott of the whole Best thing? It is really strange.
Sigh. I’ve wasted perhaps at least one and a half hours on these, and I’ve still got 4 to go…
Oh, that’s right! Alice and Akbar are engaged! Huzzah! Go them! *fireworks* Good for you two, I say. Ah, it was around this time of year when the huge e-marriage daycare center thing started. Sadly, most of my several e-spouses ignore me, but oh well.
Sorry if I’ve bored you, but you have to appreciate that this is the 7th Rant I’ve had to write. In a row.
I’m tired. I want to read my book, but I have to Rant, and study. And clean. Parents come home tonight.
Ok. I’ll try and stay in 667-ish matters. The bloody password on DDisc is still there. Oh, hell. It’s “thedisciple”. I don’t understand why it’s so damn secret. How the hell are the people who weren’t there supposed to guess what it is?
Aw. Orangey-Twixet changed her name to Libintia. I liked Minerva a lot better. Oh well, whichever she likes best, I suppose.
I’m pretty angry at Akbar, now. Reasons are chronicled in PJ’s Rants I-IV. This is IX, btw. Akbar is also pretty mad at me. He says he’s lost faith in me. That sucks.
In time, I hope one of us can see the error of their ways, or perhaps the anger will just lessen. Whatever happens, though, I’m still your friend, Akbar, even if you don’t want me to be.
*drama*
I guess I could fill this with a lot of filler-crap. Or something.
Or I could make it all spiritual, and pretend I’ve had some kind of revelation, befitting of the last Rant. I wonder which one Akbar will choose? I might post some of the earlier ones, in which I give my thoughts on the entire Best thing. Or I might not.
Maybe I should talk some more about that. As I’ve said in one of the earlier Rants, I still trust Linda fully, and all that. She regrets it all, anyways, so in my eyes she’s almost completely in the clear. She seems pretty guilty, anyways. You guys are all so hard on her. You should be ashamed of yourselves.
As for J….J. seems overlooked. She’s trying to make light of it, which is great, but everyone doesn’t seem to care that she also was part of it. She’s also not being punished. J. is the WacKY one, you expect her to do something like this. Lucky her, I guess. She’s also cool, in my eyes.
Now. Ennui. The hardest of the lot. I’m not quite sure about him. He enjoyed it immensely, I think. He has partially the same mind-set as I; he thinks that what he did was relatively acceptable, and is holding his head proud. Brave man. While I DO think he was a bit TOO vehement as Best, I still don’t think you guys should all gang up on him. He’s just telling the truth. He’s not a monster because of it. My opinion of Ennui has mostly not changed. He’s still witty and cool.
So. That’s it. Bye.
-PJ.
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Jemima’s Unadvice Column.
Dear Jemmerz...oh no, that's a terrible nickname. Ahem. Dear Jemmy,
My friend is sad. Roar. I need some ways to cheer her up without bugging the holy crap out of her, even though crap isn't holy. So, without bugging the holy....cats out of her. Any advice you'd like to offer?
Signed,
A little wolf in the woods.
Dear Wolf (by the way, wolves are cute),
Does she like pranks? Prank her. Or... get a joke book, memorize every single joke in it, and tell her all of them. Or scare the sadness out of her.
Or take her to somewhere hilarious. Just do something you think will make her laugh.
Bwa ha ha ha! (Probably not a maniacal laugh, she'll end up ruling the world. But that might cheer her up.)
-Jemima
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Dear Jemima,
I've noticed your lack in problems, and thought I'd share my problem with you. I took a history and geography test today, and failed it for the second time, I now have to take an alternate test tomorrow. How can I pass History and Geography the first time?
-Snicket Face-
Dear Snicker Bar,
Hmm. Do you want a serious answer or a funny answer?
Pick one of the following:
1. Study for seven tedious hours.
2. Don't not not not not not not not not not not not not not study. And find a lucky penny. I had many quizzes today and I found a lucky penny in 1st hr, and I ended up being really confident and getting a 100 % on a test. Or wear lucky boxers, even though you're a girl. Boxers are really only like shorts. So wear panties with boxers, with pants, of course, the day of your test.
Ha ha! I aced my test and you got zip,
Sincerely,
Jemima
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PLEASE send your problems to Jemima. Snicket Face was courteous enough to send her something.
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This week on Jemima's How To![/b]:
How To Drive!
Step 1: Get a car, I suggest sneakily stealing your neighbor's car, especially if it's a Porsche or a really expensive sports car
Step 2: Now, you should probably steal the keys. Or, if not, hot wire the car. It should work.
Step 3: Hop into the driver's seat without opening the door (either have the window down or the roof down or the sunroof open (remember that that's the side of the car with the rubber ring sticking out)). Do this because all the cool movie stars do this in their movies.
Step 4: Start the car by hot wiring it or turning the keys in the key slot
Step 5: If the car don't start, the car doesn't:
-Have gas in it
-Comply with your hot wiring/keys
-Like you stealing its owner's car
-Like you at all
If the car doesn't have gas, put it in the car, and if your keys aren't right, steal the right ones. Or if the car doesn't like you, tough luck. Go buy your own and totally give up on this guide.
Anyway, back to stealing *cough* I mean... driving... cars.
Step 6: If the car starts, great for you, but don't drive blindfolded. That's just common stupidity, I'm sure that you don't have that. And don't get caught by the cops. If you do, my bad. Sorry.
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Linda’s Interview Of The Week.[/u]
Linda: Welcome to this week's Member Interview of the Week. This week, we have PJ. Welcome, PJ. PJ, what is your real name? How did you come up with your username?
PJ: My real name is Philip Thomas Jucker. philipjucker is my username, but my current name is simply PJ. My initials.
Linda: Right. Now, where are you from?
PJ: My parents are from Switzerland, but they moved to Sydney about 20 years ago. So I was born here. I think of myself as Australian.
Linda: Tell us a bit about yourself. What are some of your interests?
PJ: I like reading, writing, arguing, video games and movies. 667 is neat, because it combines books with writing with arguing. I'm also able to pwn n00bs here, without fear of reprisals. That's another thing I like doing.
Linda: How would your self, in terms of personality and appearance?
PJ: I'm of average height, fair skin, large mass of blond curly hair, glasses, big nose, big ears. As for personality...I'm pretty mean, but not evil. I'll insult and tease, but I won't steal your wallet or kill you. I'm also slow to anger, and I'm pretty logical. Also, I'm dead sexy. Arrogant and lazy, as well. I like to think I'm smart.
Linda: Now, a question that those of us who are fairly new are dying to know: what are the origins of Dave the omnipotent lightsaber spoon?
PJ: Well...some time ago, when Star Wars Episode III was still in the cinemas, my cereal, Sultana Bran, had a lightsaber spoon in every third pack, of varying colours, red, green or blue. "Wield the Force" it said on the pack. Naturally, I was unimpressed. I searched the first cereal box, and found nothing.
Linda: What do you like to do in your free time, besides visit 667?
PJ: Wait! I'm not done!
Linda: Sorry.
PJ: Grrr. So anyways, while I'm telling my mother about the spoons in the pack, I tip the pack, and Dave slides out. That's it. I guess. Ok, as for your other question, I like to, as I've said, read and write. I also do fencing 3 times a week.
Linda: How did you find out about 667? And were you ever a lurker?
PJ: I used google, I think. It's hard to remember and no, I joined up, forgot about it, then found it again a week later, and permanently joined. Lurkers are creepy.
Linda: About how much time do you spend on 667?
PJ: Quite a bit. I used to spend more time, but nowadays there isn't much to do. I usually check the boards that interest me at least once a day.
Linda: How important is 667 in your life?
PJ: Pretty important. As I've said, not so much anymore, but I still go there quite a bit. I speak with my online friends often. On MSN
Linda: What sections do you visit the most, and what are a few of your favorite threads?
PJ: I make an effort to visit every day: MMisc, LLit, CCreativity, WWorld and DDisc. As for threads...the RFT. It varies.
Linda: Do you think that you are a well-known member of 667? What do you feel your level of popularity is?
PJ: Pretty, yeah. I like to think that most people know OF me. As for popularity... I'm not the nicest guy, but I have a few 667 friends, and most people I'm on relatively good terms with.
Linda: Is there anything you’d like to tell the members of 667, before we end?
PJ: Uh, not really. Check out Big Bro. Read my stories. That sort of thing. Send me moneeeey.
Linda: Thanks, PJ.
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EDITORIAL
Well. Hmm, I wonder what I could write about it. Oh, screw it. I’ll just get right to the point. The Best of The Best, this week’s drama. Only on 667 Dark Avenue. Get your tickets today!
*le sigh*
It’s been long and tiring, all of it. And I have a lot of regrets. I totally overreacted, although I think Ennui did as well. It just wasn’t very nice, what they did. But I shouldn’t have overreacted. And to all those who think I’m ‘selling out’ by apologizing, well, I don’t give a damn. Frankly, in the end, friendship is more important than these stupid, petty little fights. So I’m sorry, Linda, Ennui, PJ and J. I was just a bit upset and I went insane and became omfgwtf evil!Akbar.
What really bugs me, though, is that Alice, Dupin and I were the only vocal ones. What, Dante, can’t be bothered to put your ass on the line for what you believe in? Really, this ‘silent judging’ of yours is just a way for you to get others to do what you want, but not get any of the blame. It’s sick. It’s worse than the whole Best thing. *le sigh*
And now, I suppose, there’ll be lots of melodrama, Dante will post saying he’s leaving, even though he hasn’t actually posted for a week, and then I’ll be flamed some more. Well, dash it all, I’m just going to say what I think, and to hell with the consequence. Because you know it’s wrong, Dante.
*breathes*
Now, I don’t like being all serious and evil so I’ll just end with: www.godlovesgeorgebush.com .
Peace out,
Akbar.
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J.[/u]
Dogbert. Julius Caeser. OMGWTFNAZIS. These historical figures are known and revered through historical tomes of knowledge. Or something. Look, Akbar told me I have an hour and a freaking half to write this.
On January 26th, Dark Avenue got its own great dictator. It rose. It fell. It gathered followers, gained foes, caused emotional devastation, broke up families and turned the board upside down. All within 48 hours. It called itself The Best of the Best. I called it Ichibankun.
Thebest was a powerful orator and well versed in the social structure of Dark Avenue. On its first post, it already sought to recruit people, with specific users in mind. At first, many people thought it was funny, and displayed interest in playing along. However, things soon got dark. PJ, one of Thebest’s primary choices, was alarmed when he discovered one of Thebest’s requirements was murder. “I treated it all very, very seriously, and, if someone WAS going to take over the world, I decided that I would rather die than take part in the murder.” PJ said. But despite such a lofty request, J and PJ were interested in joining Thebest.
Thebest demanded respect and placed itself higher than others, enforcing its intellectual superiority with eloquent speeches. In some ways, it was not much different than Dark Avenue’s elitists, such as Ennui and Dante. Only its short amount of time and plans for world domination prevented it from being just another one of Dark Avenue’s regulars. But Thebest’s posts were cause for concern among 667ers.
Next week, I’ll continue this in-depth exploration of the rise and fall of Thebest, along with interviews from the EVA Pilots and main players of this event. And I’ll have more than an hour and a freaking half to write the article and do research.
Until next time.
--J.
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