Post by Akbar Le Grey on Feb 26, 2006 1:54:48 GMT -5
Editor : Akbar Le Grey.
Columnists: PJ, Linda, Dupin, Jemima, une femme auteur anonyme.
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PJ’s Rant.
This will almost certainly be my last Rant for a while. Don’t worry, faithful readers, it has all been taken care of. *mysterious*. You should find out next edition. I’ll only reveal this: it has nothing to do with toasters. Also, the Rant will be continued. And I will continue to write for the 667er. Hopefully.
So yeah. Rants. The Bouncy Room threads in MM is incredibly stupid. I mean, it serves no purpose whatsoever. If you people want to post *bounces* all day long, get MSN, or AIM, so that the rest of us don’t have to put up with your crap. Honestly. And then jtb2 went running to the moderator to stop people from dissing the threads. What ever happened to free speech?
I mean, what’s so fun about writing “I like bananas” and “bouncing is fun!!!!”? It’s certainly not amusing, entertaining, or even mildly interesting to read. I just can’t understand why threads like those are made...
What puzzles me even further is the fact that, after everyone started arguing against the Bouncy Room, the people who created the thread decided that, since the Bouncy Room was so unpopular, they’d better go and make a different room, namely the BUBBLE Room. I mean, how could they possibly think that a Bubble Room would be any more interesting or popular than a Bouncy Room? *shakes head*
Tragedy sucks. Like, he has time to go and strike people for making risqué threads, but can’t finally choose a Detriment Deleter for the forum? PMs have been sent to him, but we have yet to receive a reply. <<sigh>>
So some guy called LordVaderX has appeared. He’s a pyromaniac, apparently, and is a fan of the “Wheelbarrow”. I mean, this is a children’s forum, for Christ-sakes. Making threads about virginity is one thing, but actually describing something vulgar and disgusting like the “Wheelbarrow” sex position is a bit over the top. LordVaderX’s typing seems kinda n00by, but he doesn’t seem to be pure-really cool member. If it weren’t for the wheelbarrow thing, I wouldn’t even have minded him. Still, time will tell if he has to be EXTERMINATED or not.
Meanwhile, it seems that God has finally answered my prayers, and Mr. Poe has been EVICTED from the Big Brother House. Sora too, but he’s allright. Replacing the two of them are zombies SkeletonKey and GreySnicket. Awesome.
Uh…*searches for stuff to rant on* oh, right. It’s Ennui’s birthday! Now, Ennui’s awesome, and has been on 667 for as long as I can remember, and I wholeheartedly congratulate him for turning…uh…17? I think it’s 17.
I guess that’s all for the moment. I might eventually return to the Rant, but for the next 2 or 3 weeks, at least, I won’t be the Rant-ee. After that, if things are well, it will all be good, if not, we won’t have a Rant for a while, until someone else does it, or until I feel like doing it again. So, goodbye, 667, and good luck.
Also, you people need to write more articles.
-Teh Peej
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Jemima’s Unadvice Column.
Dear J.,
Someone said something really nasty about my super ego, G., and she's locked herself in her room with a different alter ego, J. Anwhistle. (More appropriately her ghost.) I looked through the keyhole once, and saw them drinking poison with G.'s little ceramic tea set, and reading Encyclopedia Gothica. (An extremely long, boring, and macabre book.) How do I get her to stop hanging around this manic spook and overcome her e-agoraphobia?
Sincerely,
M. Baudelaire
Dear M. Baud,
*gaspeth* I am like, soooooo honored to be called J! J is like, an awesome member and is really cool! OMG am I becoming the new J? Whoa...
n00bish moment, sorry. You could pour anti-poison into the poison, but I'm not sure how good that would taste. Cover J. Anwhistle's eyes and G.'s eyes with the macabre book, for one minute, and while you do so switch the cups with some loverly ghost sparkling grape juice. They'll probably end up loving it. Now, as for the book, give her a reeeeeeeeeeeeally heavy copy of a grammar magazine. She probably won't even notice the difference. She'll probably like it better, anyway.
Tell me how it goes.
Sincerely,
Jemima
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AGAIN, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PM JEMIMA WITH YOUR PROBLEMS. Although probably not this week, because she's gone. So PM them to whoever wants to fill in for her.
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How to Annoy Guys![/b] Note: Use these directions at your own risk. The 667er takes no responsibility for the results of these actions.
Note to the guys reading this: sorry that you'll have to miss out on one of Jemima's awesome guides. At least, if you do decide to read it, you're warned...
Anyway: Step 1: Find a guy. Doesn't matter what he looks like, or what his personality is; just find a guy.
Step 2: Now, sit by him at lunch, or get an assigned seat next to him
Step 3: Talk to him annoyingly like a valley girl
Step 4: Or for that matter, a geeky geeky nerd that talks about things like Star Trek or string theory all the time
Step 5: Or a girl that nevers stops talking about guys-- they really hate that
Step 6: Or a girl that never stops talking
Step 7: Once you've stopped talking like one of the following girls above, start making popping noises with your mouth
Step 8: Switch to clicking your teeth soon after
Step 9: Switch to biting your nails soon after soon after
Step 10: If he walks away, follow him
Step 11: Continue to follow him even if he threatens you- guys normally don't have the guts to hit a girl, unless you're a big tomboy
Step 12: If you get in a fight, say he started it. That annoys him even more
Step 13: When you get bored with annoying one guy, go to another and start over
Note again: Much research was done on this edition of Jemima's How To!
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Want to fill in for Jemima, and be the writer of her wildly popular column for a week? If so, then PM Le Grey(username=quigleyquagmire) by Friday.
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The Subjective Flaneur
By A Member
"Watching you, so you don't have to do it yourself."
I have been watching you (yes, you) for some time, rather like Big Brother but with considerably less of a mustache, and herein I will comment on a few interesting observations. And for the benefit of those who tend to scroll past any block of text longer than three lines, I'll put in some isolated lines of text in between the long paragraphs, which I'm sure said paragraphs will make perfectly clear if you will be so kind as to read them.
Menacing Miscellaneous, at the moment, seems to be a haven for whiners. Recent activity there seems to be divided between the making of rather contentless threads, and complaining about said threads, and making angry responses and suicide threats in response to those complaints. A particular example is a thread in which one can pretend to be bouncing in one of those inflatable castle things(and later, one involving bubbles). That's surely undesirable. I'm sure Hammurabi's Code specifically stated "Whosoever makes a thread solely for the purpose of pretending to bounce in an inflatable castle thing shall be put to death". Although he might have edited that out of the later draft, as his enemy GilgameshFan86 made several extra accounts and smited Hammurabi repeatedly, decreasing his karma clear into the negatives. At least that's what the Proboards Revisionist History Textbook tells me. (Oh, and Hammurabi hated bubbles)
This sentence tells you that Billy is blond and blue-eyed and American and twelve years old and strangling his mother.
Another event that has brought about much complaining in MMisc is the loss of the apparently popular and certainly long Random Fact Thread. The section moderator, who seems to have taken her name off a coordinate plane, saw it fit to archive it. (Which wasn't readily apparent, as someone else saw it fit to move a thread from the LotR section in there on top of it.) This seems to me an abrupt, harsh, and daring move in the long-standing feud between two groups--those who like that thread, and those who don't(even though they post in it). The saddest thing about all this is that relatively people who never before directly participated in this feud are quite aggrieved. Sigh. We really need a great administrator like Hammurabi or Thomas Jefferson.
On the matter of bickering that saddens me, I'm rather disappointed with the behavior of Euro in the My Chemical Romance Thread. People who find it necessary to repeatedly attack others--even on irrelevant matters such as profile pictures--because they like different bands than they do, are one of the reasons I generally avoid currently popular music. The other being that I really don't care for it that much. *cue cries of "OMG u pozer emo prepp, watever bands u like must really sux!!!"* However, Euro and the person she was arguing with seem to be in the process of sorting things out.
As Hamlet shows, madness can coexist with logical, devious plots, and one person's madness can harm and madden others.
Who exactly is this LordVaderX fellow I've seen? He posts mostly in MMisc, unusually for a newcomer, seems to have some good ideas and good grammar, and has a tendency to post rather...melodramatically. While he seems like an interesting enough fellow, if rather careless in what he says, several people dislike him. Perhaps they feel their status is threatened by this mysterious and colorful newcomer taking a stand against the harsher ones of them. Or maybe I subconsciously think that myself. I can't tell whether I'm coming up with these odd theories, or coming up with the theory of someone else coming up with them. Are those really the same thing? Am I mad? Anyway, I find all the arguing really rather interesting. And it's such a pity that this person had to delete himself, although he returned the next day. Good for him. Still, how many newcomers-with-potential have we driven off?
Cool quotes of the indeterminate timespan:
My all time favorite dream features JFK and Richard Nixon boxing. -Alice
But, come on! Smashed heads are all the rage these days! -Skeleton Key
Since when are you allowed to set up your own Fascist government in some cheap Bubble Room? -Akbar
Parabolas aren't evil, A. THEY ARE SATAN HIMSELF –PJ
In conclusion, things like that simply do not belong in a bird guide.
In all honesty, current events here rather depress me. Friends(and mutual admirers/enviers) are being torn apart, respectable people are becoming distinctly unrespectable, bad memories are being revived and old conflicts dug up... There also seems to be much tomfoolery(though I feel I'm doing a dishonor to a really cool word) with multiple accounts, few of which are clever. Making a new account and doing nothing with it but posting inordinate numbers of smileys and capital letters, or being an overdone caricature of a religious fundamentalist, is simply not funny. Oh, and Triangle Eyes, why must you deliberately try to instigate interforum war by posting 667's link on some forum you say is full of idiots(which won't even open for me) and vice versa? Did no one learn anything from the UE conflict? Sigh. And yet I watch you all with some interest. Saying this, I probably seem like the sort of person who watches car races for the crashes, or The Discovery Channel for the antelope eviscerations, but I assure you I care little for that sort of thing. (I'm all for crashing model trains, though.)
This has gotten far too long. I will conclude by apologizing for any false allegations made against anyone, particularly the stuff involving dead piglets and drinking fountains.
-Une femme auteur anonyme.
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The 667er supports WSW!
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Linda’s Interview Of The Week.[/u]
Member Interview of the Week
Linda: Welcome to this week's Member Interview of the Week. This week, we have A. Welcome, A.
A.: Heya, Everyone.
Linda: What is your real name?
A.: Half of 667 already know my real name, Annelise.
Linda: How did you come up with your username?
A.: I wanted to be all mysterious and such like L. and K. and J., so I took my name and made it an initial.
Linda: Where are you from?
A.: I'm From Perth, it's in Western Australia, North of the Swan River. I'd say more but no one would make any sense of it.
Linda: How would you describe your appearance?
A.: I'm tall, I think it's around 5"8, at least I'm 174 cm, I have brown hair, and brown eyes, and according to a guy at the party I went to last night, I have a nice *rse.
Linda: How would you describe your personality?
A.: Weird, Spontaneous, my Mother told me that sometimes she think I have ADD or something.
Linda: What interests you? What do you like to do in your free time, besides visit 667?
A.: I do calisthenics, it's like dancing. I train Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays. I'm going to Nationals this year. wOOt.
Linda: How did you find out about 667 Were you ever a lurker?
A.: Oh I found it while googling ASOUE, I joined the day I found it and started posting straight away.
Linda: How important is 667 in your life?
A.: Um, I could live without it, I'd just prefer not to
Linda: What sections do you visit the most?
A.: MM, CC and DD.
Linda: What are a few of your favorite threads? In your opinion, what makes a good thread?
A.: Um, I don't really have a favourite thread, I used to like the RFT, but I just don't have time to post in it anymore. A good thread has to discuss something that's interesting, not just lame.
Linda: Do you think that you are a well-known member of 667?
A.: I think I'm relatively well known, I think most people know who I am at least.
Linda: What do you feel your level of popularity is?
A.: Um... un?
Linda: Some members have certain quirks, or things that are unique to them. Do you think you have a "quirk" on 667?
A.: No, I felt very left out in the quirk thread a while ago, I didn't have anything. Apparently my personality is a quirk though? Meh.
Linda: Do you find the members of 667 to be nice people? Is anyone rude to you?
A.: They seem nice enough but I'm sure behind those masks... No, I don't think anyone has ever been rude to me.
Linda: And now, as we near the end of the interview, is there anything you’d like to tell the members of 667? Some hidden gem of A. wisdom, perhaps?
A.: A. wisdom, heh. Um, I love you guys, will you e-marry me?
Linda: Thanks, A. Now, next week, no one has asked to be interviewed, so you know what that means? Random selection. The next 667er to be interviewed is shrouded in mystery, and probably doesn't even know who he or she is yet. Wooh.
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DUPIN TAKES ON THE WORLD OF FANFICTION
Let’s all face something; Fearsome Fanfiction has gone downhill. Severely. Gone are the violent/sexual Lucatono fics by Luna, and gone are the firey love stories of Countess Mecilia. Gone is the talent of Peaches, and the stories of James, and fanfictions with insane ships and dialogue…
Ages ago, Fearsome Fanfiction used to be my favourite section. People would spend ages reading the wonderful stories portrayed by very talent authors, and people would spend ages writing some of the best stories I will ever read.
So why is it so bad now?
Let’s take a look; Skeleton Key recently posted a story named ‘Klaus Fried Rice’, in which there’s some blood, and most importantly, a dead Klaus, which is then fed to Violet. Yeah, it’s pretty disgusting; a lot like the old days. But people merely dismissing it as disturbing, or having unfathomable feelings about it…before, this would have been great. Everyone would have wanted to buy Skeleton Key a gold ring for her wonderful fanfiction and possibly dance with her as well.
Angry at this, I decided to take on the world of fanfiction, and try and restore it to how it used to be.
The first notable thing, is that ‘Klaus Fried Rice’ is the first fanfiction of it’s kind around. I mean, hey look, a series of unfortunate chocolates, or a story about a girl named Mara, oh look, it’s an identical story about Rebecca Ann, oh, and another about Claire…
The closest thing to it is ‘The Serpent’, which is another piece of work by Skeleton Key. Since she says her parents have to give her the OK on her writing, I sort of think it’s weird she was allowed to write a story about a baby making out with a snake. But then there’s no detail or description about it other then they were kissing, so…yeah. Still, it’s nice work, and Skeleton Key is one of the most talented ASOUE fanfiction authors around at the moment.
So, let’s see. I want to get FF back to the horrible, dark, slashy fic hut it used to be. And what better way is there then to make a horrible, dark slashy fic myself? And so I did, and although it’s horrible and dark, there wasn’t any slash in my project fanfiction, ‘Polkadots’, which tells a story of life, death and love between Violet and Count Olaf.
And I received some nice comments from expected people; Alice, of course, who is totally with me on my ‘project’. But then one comment struck me ‘violaf? Chilling…it was okay I guess.’
Nothing pisses me off more then when you flame a story for the ship or whatever. No constructive criticism, no comment on the fanfic itself, or my writing style, or whatever. Nothing except for that she didn’t like Violaf.
It was obvious that it was going to take a lot of work to take on the world of fanfiction, and Guardian Angel Alice came to my aid.
“We need to get the Fearsome Fiction section of 667 Dark Avenue back to an infernal pit of sinful stories. I miss Sam's totally awesome songfics, Madam Luna's lovely slash epics, Mecilia's intelligent, violent superfictions, Peach's wonderful troupeslash, and Hermione Baudelaire's incestaganzas. I'm starting to miss all of those pornographic fics that Olivia posted. “
Now, I don’t know if any of you remember Olivia and her porno fics, but if you think mine or Skeleton Key’s writing is disgusting, you should just try and read hers. And so, when I read those words, I knew something had to be done. This is it. And once again, the lovely Alice saved the day.
“I want them back. I want this board interesting again. Therefore...I suggest...well, another Weird Ships Week.”
WEIRD SHIPS WEEK. It was perfect.
Weird Ships Week is a chance where everyone writes fanfictions with unusual relationships or couplings in them. Anything as long as it’s really weird, really unusual, and really freaky.
First of all, Skeleton Key suggests Collete/Ernest. Not really THAT weird, but it was okay.
Then twistedbrain thought of Frankatrice. Even LESS weird. This is nothing like the old WSWs,
Then a suggestion of Frernest, then a rejection of Frernest. Then more not-very-weird ideas. Then I try to explain what we mean by weird, and everyone quits.
Back in the day (yeah, look at me, talking like a pensioner) everyone would love a WSW, a chance to write the weirdest coupling possible. But now everyone’s frigid about the idea! And THAT is what is wrong with FF at the moment. No one takes a risk, no one likes a risk, and none of them can detect the problem.
Please, I urge you, to take part in WSW and help me in my ‘project’ to make FF the place it was once.
In next week’s article, we’ll be seeing how WSW goes in the end, and what my future plans are.
[dupin SIGN OUT]
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I wasn’t going to write an editorial this week, judging that I had enough articles. But a post I’ve just read has shocked me deeply, and I feel I simply have to respond. First, though, read the post:
asoue.proboards11.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=fee&thread=1070850267&page=30#1140934645
I had no idea that Songbird wasn’t allowed in the mod section. That’s sick, disgusting, tyrannical. To put it simply, it’s a tragedy (*coughcough*) How can one say that GGames isn’t important? We may not like it, or appreciate its content, but it is a major part of 667, and one of our most visited sections. To consider it, and its mod, inferior simply because of the section’s content is just stupid. To deny her the power she is owed is simply nonsensical. Seems to me thatTrag only did it to make himself feel better, to get pathetic ego boosts and cheap thrills. Even the mods were against it, but Tragedy need not listen to members and mods, he just does whatever the hell he likes. To quote one mod: "Every mod said she should be let in, except Tragedy, who said he thought she was "dense", and later fabricated a stroy about her blackmailing him, which she didn't, so he wouldn't let her in."
With 44,153 posts, GG is 667’s third largest section. No matter who posts there, it’s still very important, and should be treated well. It can’t just be dismissed as inferior simply because it doesn’t contain philosophical debates, or the latest stories and themes of 667. That is wrong, and idiotic. Each section has a different theme, and while some may be simpler, all of them are important. I mean, if they weren’t important, why would Tragedy have made them? It’s disgusting how 667’s higher echelons discriminated against Songbird simply because of the content of her section. And now she’s gone, and nothing can be done. She was a great member; active; conscientious; a fantastic mod. She deserved better, much better. Fly away, Songbird. Fly to a place where they’ll appreciate you, where you’ll get what you deserve.
If Tragedy is so insecure that he must hide their power and keep it from his fellows, from his helpers, then what sort of a forum is this? Tragedy comes on once in a blue moon, and simply revels in the power he has here. What an ego boost it must give him. And so, ego boosts now become more important than members or sections of 667.
667, you should be ashamed of yourself. I know I am.
Peace out,
Akbar.
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