Post by Akbar Le Grey on Jun 4, 2006 4:45:33 GMT -5
Editor-in-Chief: Akbar Le Grey.
Sub-editor: Linda*.
Columnists: Une femme auteur anonyme, Jemima, BSam*, Lauren*, Sixteen, twistedbrain, Snicket.
Published by 667er Publications, ltd.
A subsidiary of the 667er Group.
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Antagonistic Affairs NEWSLINE
Alarming Announcements:Utopia was made the Member of the Month for May this week, to much surprise and applause. There are some who think this is a huge watershed for newbie rights, because Utopia is, after all, one of 667’s newest members. Old, and prominent, member PJ told us “Yeah, I can't rememeber anytime when we had someone so new...”
Unfortunately, she seems to have disappeared, and has not posted for 10 days now. Congrats, Utopia!
Foreboding Feedback: This week, FFeedback proved to be quite controversial. First, PJ made a thread asking whether or not Snicket was doing a good job as a moderator. When asked about his motives for making this thread, he simply answered “Just a poll, to gather opinions. No fence-sitters. Either you want Snicket fired, or have him change his ways, or are happy with the way things currently are. Otherwise you don't vote.
If enough people vote "No" maybe something can be done.” As expected, most PJ-like members said no, whilst mods and the more quiet members voted yes. At the time of writing, the results of this infamous poll were:
Yes: 10 votes, 28.5%
No: 25 votes, 71.4%
Other than this, a trial ‘Twistedbrain v. Klaus19’ was started yesterday, as Tess accused Klaus19 of being the one who impersonated her in the saybox. The trial proved to be short-lived, however, when twistedbrain dropped charges due to her discovery that Klaus19 actually had nothing to do with it. She promised, however, to take the real criminal to court; so a new trial is expected shortly. This trial, however, raised the hazy issue of which forum rules and ethics apply to the saybox. This issue is expected to be resolved in the next trial.
Burdensome Books NEWSLINE
Action and discussion in the BBooks section continues to be centered in the new board for ‘The End’. However, this section is still dominated by the giant behemoths moved from other sections, which dealt with ‘The End’ and, as a result, few new threads have been started.
Aggravating Art NEWSLINE
Utopia’s mysterious absence has left the section in which she made her meteoric rise to popularity quite empty. Other than Skeleton Key, who persists, the other threads have been quite half-hearted. New talent has been neglected as people go through Utopia’s old Snicket Art Gallery, wondering where she’s gone. Due to this, the Snicket Art Gallery ironically remains the most popular thread in this board.
Fearsome Fiction NEWSLINE
This week saw a small return from two of 667’s greatest Fanfic writers. Both BSam and Dupin wrote stories this week, to the glad surprise of most of the readers. Meanwhile, Skeleton Key continues to dominate the board, even though jtb is now starting to be a major rival for the queen of FF. Utopia’s absence has been noted here as well, by the readers of her fanfic ‘The Snicket Chronicles”.
Chaotic Creativity NEWSLINE
667er Animations continues to stagnate, to the delight of many of its rivals and the critics of the 667er Group. “looks like almak has overextended himself”, comments BSam wryly.
PJ has returned to the CC stage with his story ‘The Killerizer’, an over exaggerated parody of the typical super-hero stories. It was greeted by dumbfounded surprise, or, one might say, shock, from both critics and normal 667ers alike.
Menacing Miscellaneous NEWSLINE
Descartes’ game-like ‘Describe the next poster’ thread continues to be the reigning behemoth thread of MM. Other small threads have cropped up, but none have achieved the level of popularity this thread has. In other news, Triangle Eyes and Freshie celeberated their birthdays this week, and Zavi celebrated her 1-year 667 anniversary. Congratulations to all of them.
{Editor’s Note: Again, a bit rushed, but I was struggling to post the paper ASAP}
-Akbar Le Grey.
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SF’s Rant.
Ok, here we are, my second Rant of all time. First, I’d like to thank Akbar for letting me have the opportunity to rant and vent. Also, I’d like to say that there is really only one basic topic that I’d like to talk about, so I’ll try to make it short-and-sweet.
Now, to my rant: for a while now, I have been kind of lurking; not posting as much as I usually would. I’ve been noticing one thing--immaturity. Especially in the new members, such as the infamous jacktripper. They are all a bunch of immature little kids mouthing off online because they can’t do it in real life without getting beaten up. I’m sick of it. Every time someone gets their feelings hurt they have to make four threads explaining how “OMFG I GOT MY FEELINGS HURT I’M LEAVING FOREVER!!1!” and come back an hour later with a new account, after having just deleted their old one. This in turn causes confusion in who is who, and is plain annoying. Honestly, why would you care so much about what someone—who is most likely half way around the world--thinks about you/your story/your art/your whatever. Are you all really that insecure about yourself?
Stop trying to make people feel bad for you. Stop trying to get attention. Grow up and act your age. Unless you really are 9 years old, stop acting so darn immature.
I’ve had enough of it. What has happened to my beloved 667? That’s the question I’d like to have answered. And don’t think that “OMG SF is PMSing” because I’m not. I’m merely ranting—staying true to the title of the article.
-Snicket Face.
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aSoUE Goes International
by Sixteen
Daniel Handler has always been busy doing book signings, television events and radio appearances on Lemony Snicket's behalf. But up until recently, he has stayed in the U.S.
Those of us in the U.K. and Ireland are just as supportive of his work, but he never seemed to take that into consideration.
In January, Gigi (thoughtful as ever) suggested that she would write to him and
In late March, UE.com launched a competition for some 200 people in the U.K. to meet Daniel Handler face-to-face. This competition is still open.
However, sharp-eyed Dupin spotted Him not once, but twice (!), on the U.K. media. About a week ago, he appeared on BBC Breakfast in a very short interview "mostly about Adverbs, although they talked about The End as well." The presenters obviously didn't know what they were getting themselves into. They were very uncomfortable - and a bit scared - by the end.
He appeared again on BBC Radio 4 on Wednesday. "He said that he enjoys writing children's fiction, discussed the release date, before claiming that the end of ASOUE would definatley NOT be the end of Lemony Snicket, which is good news."
Hopefully this isn't the end of Handler's surprise events on this side of The Pond. We love you too, Mr. Snicket!
-Sixteen.
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An argument that I have hitherto ignored-- I mean, not written about--looks like it's heating up. It is the matter of "The 667 Apprentice", a complicated and arcane game which I understand has something to do with Donald Trump, geometry, setting hats on fire, podcasts(whatever those may be) and the choosing of a new G-Mod. Dupin, Libitina, and Twistedbrain are involved in this. It may or may not have driven my kind editor to flame Twistedbrain. It's clearly some kind of secret cabal thing.
Once again, I am compelled to make note of things that happened long before this writing will see the light of day. Euro has vanished, having been banned and/or deleted. She apparently flamed Betsy(who apparently deleted herself as a result of that, but was clearly still here under another account, and now seems to have a different one.) Someone was apparently flaming Euro as well, which provoked her to all manner of angry outbursts. It's probably for the best that Snicket has been elected mod and wasn't too busy correcting people's spelling of "Eye-Podd" to deal with her. However, it does seem she's back with another account, as always.
Erik has started some anti-Snicket campaign, having to do with not posting in MMisc(he started a boycott thread, which of course grew to four pages within 24 hours). Not posting is something I'm content enough with doing, although surely continuing one's usual course of behavior isn't much of a protest. However, I'm not so sure about throwing Snicket out of office. I'm rather happy that we've got an MMisc moderator who can finally keep order, rather than use their powers only to attack. Some claim Snicket has deleted "enjoyable" threads for his own amusement--their criteria for enjoyability seemingly being large numbers of insult graphics, things most likely intended to provoke flamewars, and all-out brawls. Admittedly, though, I do enjoy reading the arguments.
I grow weary of writing about Jacktripper, but once again he's making something of a stir. His private-message rudeness apparently drove someone to leave when they'd hardly registered. In fact, we seem to be losing members, or at least their accounts, at an alarming rate. Betsy and Euro's old accounts are now mere specters(as are the accounts one or the other of them made temporarily to confuse people), and several others have seemingly been deleted while still the newest member. Jacktripper deleted himself as well, but then remade his account and went the path of many before him--attempting to gain popularity by griping loudly about his lack of it, threatening suicide, and claiming that someone hacked into his account. And then he deleted his account again, remade it, and flirted with Twistedbrain a lot.
Some stupidity took place involving Klaus19, a gag account, and an alleged teenage pregnancy. The gag account was Klaus19's, called Snicketboy--though she claimed it was in fact her 20-year-old boyfriend, the young fellow's typing style was quite clearly hers. The alleged pregnancy, too, was hers, supposedly sired by her nonexistent lover. This hoax persisted for perhaps a few hours, during which Klaus19 was flamed--and deservedly so-- until she confessed. Frankly, I wouldn't particularly mind if Klaus19 ended up pregnant (and she seems the sort who would get into such a condition through sheer bumbling carelessness), with all the complications and troubles that entails, if it meant she'd have to leave the forum. Regrettably, she apparently did that for a moment, only to come back under the name "FMA Adicted". (Misspelling hers, though in the interests of accuracy I am compelled to share it.) Unless that isn't really her, but it strongly gives the impression of being so. If whoever has that account is reading this and isn't Klaus19, I commend you on being a good enough impersonator and ask you to at least impersonate someone more intelligent. If you are--how can I put this tactfully-- please go play in a food processor.
- Une femme auteur anonyme.
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Interview Of The Week.[/u]
Linda did not submit her column this week.
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Dear Jemmy,
My school system is full of idiots, and I'd really like to go to a private school next year. My parents don't want me to go, even though we can afford it. How can I convince them to let me go?
Nameless,
*sigh* Why is it that the public school has to have the idiots? Well, private school can have conceit-eds, but otherwise I know what you mean.
Flunk out of public school and then they'll put you in private school. Easy!
Sinceres,
Jem
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Dear Jemima,
My problem is very brief. How do I get my friend to wear their hat on the moor? They'll get sick, die, get eaten by worms, the worms we'll get eaten by geese, and then people will eat the geese and, in theory, eat my friend. What should I do?
-Gretchen
Hey Gretch, what up?
I um, don't know. Try bribing them with whatever they like, or scaring them into wearing it properly. Such as telling them they'll die (which, as you described, they will) if they wear it the wrong way. Hopefully your friend will get creeped out and do what you say.
Good luck,
Jemima
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OH NO, HERE COMES J, YOU DIDN'T OBEY! (AS IN SENDING ME PROBLEMS.)
This week on Jemima's How To!:
How To Wash Your Cat!
Step 1: Fill your bathtub with water, not too hot
Step 2: Put on the following:
-rubber gloves
-rubber apron
-protective mask
-goulashes
-anti-scratch shirt
And have iodine and aspirin readily beside you.
Step 3: Quickly catch your cat
Step 4: Gently throw him/her in the bathtub
Step 5: Quickly constraint the cat in
Step 6: Quickly scrub your kitty with a soapy sponge
Step 7: Let him run outside to dry himself off.
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Now, this article is about one of the worst places, to me, on this forum. The saybox. Many people think it is a waste of space and should be taken down, while others like it. Now, the people who like it, no offense to them, are generally considered no0obs. The saybox may well have been a once intelligent place, I would not know. I was not there. However, it is certainly not now. The more unintelligent members have flocked to it, taken it over for their own evil deeds of impersonation and “note-passing” of sorts. 667, in my opinion, would be a much better place without this no0ob-nest. Now, I shall take a look at some opposition.
The saybox is a place to meet new members and chat with older members. It is a chatbox, after all.
Okay. The new member chat can take place in GG, or by PM. Most older members stay far away from the saybox, so that argument has almost no merit whatsoever.
I like the saybox. I have intelligent conversations there, what are you talking about?
Prove it. Give me one intelligent conversation you’ve had in the saybox. You can’t really, can you? That’s because it’s mainly a big nonsense hole.
Nooooo! Don’t take away the saybox, it’s the only way I can talk to people!
Get an account. Use email, AIM, MSN, something. The saybox is not necessary for communication. There are others.
But I LIKE it! Wahh!
Yeah, does this even merit a response?
As you can see, the saybox really serves no purpose, and we’d be no worse, if not better off, without it. I can only hope that Tragedy agrees.
-twistedbrain.
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Snicket’s Tech Help
Well, I finally had the time to type the new edition of Tech Help.
All of these are old questions that I haven’t really answered yet.
Questions and Answers
Okay, I have a digital camera, and when I put the memory card back in it said "unsupported card". Is the card broken? It is an HP Photosmart 433. And it takes a SanDisk 128MB memory card.
Samreen
Answer: Some cards have “Locking features” where you can lock the card (Sort of like a floppy disk). And usually when a digital camera says anything like “Unsupported Card” it is usually actually supported, but the card is just broken or locked.
To unlock the memory card, find the latch on the side and move it to a different position and try it again. If it does not work after that, consult your user manual. If you can’t get any information about your problem from the user’s manual, go buy a new card.
- - - - - - - - - -
Hey, Snicket, lately my computer's been randomly freezing up several minutes after I turn it on. I'll get started on something and then the mouse will just stop working, and occasionally it'll freeze up completely and refuse to cooperate when I use the keyboard to try and manipulate things after the mouse stops working. I know it's not a mouse problem because I've put in a different mouse and it's done exactly the same thing. You wouldn't happen to know what's wrong, would you?
-Linda
Answer: There could only be two reasons why this is happening. You either have a virus or cookies and documents need to be deleted to make more room. When cookies build up on your computer, it causes the computer to slow down considerably. Your computer will start crashing within minutes of start-up. Go to your control panel and delete all the cookies under “Internet Options”. However, I hope you remembered your passwords.
Notes
If I did not answer your question this week, please PM me.
And if you will, please put “Tech Help” as the subject.
Also, in this edition, there will NOT be a “Software of the Week” section.
Hack of the Week
Ever since I read in an edition of Macworld about Altoids iPod chargers, I have been obsessed with Altoids tins and building things into them.
Here is a new hack this week, that charged an iPod with double A batteries. Also, it is way more advanced than the first mini-iPod charger in an Altoids tin: www.hackaday.com/entry/1234000060073719/
Apple News
Recently, Apple released their new black and white Macbooks. I picked one up the day they were released, and I have to say that I love them. These are way better than the iBooks. They have a really great quality. Check it out: www.apple.com/macbook/macbook.html
Also, in this time, the new Apple Store opened in New York. I was one of the first few in line.
What’s so big about the new Apple Store? Well, its entrance is a gigantic glass cube. A glass staircase and a glass elevator lead down to the store. The store is located on 5th Avenue at the GM Building. Also, it is open 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year.
To see a large report of the opening, click this.
To see pictures of the store, click this.
To see pictures of Steve Jobs at the opening, click this.
To see pictures of Tina Fey, Kanye West, Triumph the Comic Insult Dog, and Stephen Colbert at the opening of the new Apple Store, go to these websites:
thatsrich.smugmug.com/gallery/1477049/5/70781902
thatsrich.smugmug.com/gallery/1477049/4/70776909
thatsrich.smugmug.com/gallery/1477049/4/70779813
thatsrich.smugmug.com/gallery/1477049/5/70782211
Gems of the Week
That picture is kind of old, but that is a picture of Steve Wozniak (One of the original founders of Apple) playing Segway Polo.
And, actually, I couldn’t find anything else worth posting here.
Closing Notes
Please send me questions through PM if you have any tech problem at all.
-Snicket
{Editor’s Note: Sorry I changed your format, but those random URL-links just irritate me.}
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