Post by Akbar Le Grey on Aug 13, 2006 3:58:26 GMT -5
August 13th – August 20th
Editor-in-Chief: Akbar Le Grey.
Sub-editor: Linda.
Columnists: Une femme auteur anonyme, Alice, Jemima*, Sixteen, J., Amanda, Sister F., Sora, Betsy, Snicket*.
Published by 667er Publications, ltd.
A subsidiary of the 667er Group.
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Shortly before the publication of this edition of the 667er, an important announcement was made. Nearly a week after the karma debate end, the results are in, and Tragedy has announced a winner. Group 1, the group in favour of abolishing karma, won the debate by a score of 3 to 1, losing to Group 2 in only the closing statement. Sunday, August 13th, 2006 will be karma’s last day at 667.
Ever since the smiting of prominent members began in mid-July, karma has been a hot issue here at 667. The poll Tragedy made about karma received 70 votes in five days, and established two clear sides to a debate that set 667er against 667er. The anti-karma group, which wanted karma to be abolished for good in order to avoid future problems, and the pro-karma group, which wanted the smiters to be punished publicly.
What are the implications of this decision? Well, some people will obviously be very disappointed. Vindictive members no longer have an easy way of attacking the people they dislike, and friends have lost one way of rewarding their friends for being kind. New members will no longer be able to look at owners of triple-digit karma, such as Swans, Dante, or Antenora, and realize that they are to be respected. However, many people are very happy to see karma go. Orphaned Hope has been speaking out against it ever since her karma plummeted into the negatives for reasons she didn’t or couldn’t understand. Also, a rather new member named Eye of the Count has mysteriously gained hundreds of karma points, which gives a very inaccurate picture of his popularity of 667.
Although the issue is now officially settled, the members’ opinions are still as strong as ever. Out of three randomly selected 667ers, PJ doesn’t care much either way and Wasabi supports Tragedy’s decision wholeheartedly, but Sora is disappointed in the decision and wishes that Tragedy could have given karma another chance. All three continue to hold the same opinion they held before, and are aware that this decision was a close one. And I couldn’t help thinking: What would have happened if things had turned out differently? What if Group 2 had won? Or, more likely: what if Group 2 had won the poll and the debate had never happened?
The results of the poll showed 29 people in favour of option 1, and 41 people in favour of option 2. Tragedy wanted to see a 3/5 majority before making a decision, and although the poll never did reach that majority, it came extremely close. If any one of the 29 people who voted against karma had changed their vote, then there’s a very good chance that the debate would never have happened, and that Group 2 would have won. And when I remember that I voted for option 1 in that poll, even though I truly don’t have a strong opinion either way, and that I could have been one of those 29 to change things, well, it’s mind-boggling. It seems as though Group 2, while in the majority, lost due to pure chance.
In conclusion, karma is going to leave, but the strong feelings it aroused aren’t leaving along with it. The pro-karma group still exists, and probably isn’t going to back down simply because they lost the official debate. So is the issue really resolved?
-Linda
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Betsy’s Rant.
Ohhh, gaiaonline.com sucks. I stupidly went and joined it and now I am horribly addicted. I haven't even been on 667 much anymore. I can't really even take the time to write a rant! There is gold to be made. I need that skirt. And a katana. And a house! Omg, wtf am I doing writing this. I need to be on gaia. Don't ever join. It's a curse. ):
-Betsy
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I SHALL REFRAIN FROM USING THE PHRASE "PAPER VS. PLASTIC"
Even though it's quite accurate regarding the general opinions of my kind editor and his journalistic team regarding the "Plastics", it's still a bad pun. Our last issue was rather harsh on the Plastics, and thought by some to be overwrought. I suppose all this was understandable; my kind editor was somewhat riled up about things. The controversy, which lingered on as these things do, hinged on the distribution of Dupin's last name, which he apparently had no desire whatever to have disclosed-- let alone elaborately mocked. This I can understand, as I do not wish to disclose my actual name either(call me Flan, if you must call me something, even if that name has some mockery potential of its own).
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KARMA WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS
[Ed's Note: This part is outdated as the column was written and filed before Tragedy announced his decision.]
At the time the karma decision was supposed to be announced, Tragedy was quite silent on the matter, even as several onlookers racked up their post counts eagerly waiting for an answer. And since the karma system hasn't vanished, I'd assume that Option Two won out, and the phantom smiters have been punished. This only leaves the question of who they were-- I think their names were supposed to be revealed, but they haven't. Perhaps they were merely newcomer trolls of little consequence, departed and therefore not worth dealing with, or indeed certain prominent members who have fallen even more silent than Tragedy.
It certainly seems as if Kate and Ann have been most banntastically dealt with-- I suppose that the smiting counted for a third(or fourth, or possibly fifth) strike against them, and it's been said that they're indeed banned. The question raised at the moment is just how long they've been banned for, and in another publication at least one of them continues to spew profanity at Dupin from afar. As I noted before, the controversy the pair caused still lingers-- Dupin and PJ turned against each other, the one seeming understandably mad, the other seemingly wanting an argument over whether Kate had really been sorry or not.
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THERE ISN'T MUCH TO WRITE ABOUT THIS WEEK, I FEAR
Which is why I've thought up a small nitpick regarding Gruesome Greetings. Someone comes in and uses a single, not incongruous, smiley. He is told by the resident greeters to quit using emoticons. Curiously, I see nothing to that effect in the decrees, and I don't completely object to the little things(except when they appear as a consequence of mistyping or sticking in an accidental punctuation mark . However, I admit to being amused by Linda's comment about how "really cool members" must be distinguished from the intelligent sort-- once again, automated censorship becomes social commentary.
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INSTANT REPLAY OF PAST EVENTS
...or some of them, anyway. For lack of anything better to write about, I'll summarize some past events in a manner more concise than usual:
Alleged Clique: Let's amuse ourselves by mocking people who might not be reading this and stuff!
Someone: Shut up.
Alleged Clique: No!
Current Authority Figure: Allow me to lay the smackdown. *strikes*
Most Everyone: Those who disagree with me should just shut up and leave!
Various People: *leaves*
Alleged Clique: Haha, let's gloat by mocking those who left!
Some: *returns*
Former Authority Figure and Others: Why did my karma go down so much?
Alleged Clique: *copies and pastes " Why did my karma go down so much?"* We've nothing to do with it!
Someone, possibly: *complains to admin*
Admin: We're taking a poll. Expect a decision sometime this decade.
Alleged Clique: Let's reveal someone's real name for our amusement and mock it to death!
Admin: *banhammer*
Most Everyone: Where's that karma decision we were promised?
Everyone Who Might Know: *silence*
A FINAL NOTE
From this point onward, my columns may become shorter, less frequent, or nonexistent. It's not that I find 667 drama uninteresting (it's way better than daytime soap operas), but simply that I may be pressed for time, for reasons of my own. Don't worry, fans-- and despisers, please worry-- I will certainly try to write.
- Une femme auteur anonyme.
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This is the second two days report of lollapalooza
day two was not that interesting, we wqandered a bit, tried to meeet the flaming ;lips but they left so we couldn't but we still got signed album cover things
then i dunno, had lunch, luke went to hotel to nap and i was going to but couldn't be bothered
met up with trish andc her freind before the the dresden dolls but left quickly upon them appearing on stage, wandered for a bit until the flaming lips started who were fantastic, impressive and many ofther words meaning the same thing;.
after that i mannaged to bump into luke again, we ate and heard a bit of kanye west, then slept well
then the sunday we got there and i did sopme singstar on statge, suning "our house" by ,madness.
then after some eating i spent most of trhe daY drinking and playing in the playstation tent, playing singstar and guitar hero 2, i still can't beleive that singstar isn't out in american yet, and there was this cute girl working there who was nice and didn't get annoyued by me talking to her
i challenged her a bit and won mostly
then came sleep
chilli peppers i coulnd't be bthered seeing
today we had ameruican kfc, which was rubbish
-BSam.
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Menacing Miscellaneous. Despite its formidable name, it can easily be described as the social center of 667 Dark Avenue. It is here that fads are started, insults tossed, and in-jokes formed. Recently, though, the thread topics sound like something out of an internet survey. Soda or pop? Mom or mum? Icing or frosting?
I understand that questions are the bedrock of conversation, but where have those gilded days of asking people who is the bigger forum magikarp and whether or not a person has ever had a sexually tense experience gone? A better question: Why does MM suddenly seem lackluster, like a starfish dying on the shores of a beach? Where is the excitement? Where is the interest? And for God’s sake, where is the drama?
Those questions, of course, have no answers but I’ll suggest a solution: THE RETURN OF THE really cool members. Recently, members like Kate, Ann and Dupin have been fighting with each other, creating a lot of tension and negative dramatic antics. However, if their collective attentions were forced upon a really cool member, not only would the fights between prominent members decrease, but we would finally have something to do again. Deciphering the grammar of a single really cool member can take up to ten minutes per sentence, ten minutes that may have been spent posting what you did today or whatever you feel like.
Now, I’m not fond of so-called “really cool members”. But, without them, the wandering minds of 667ers stray from insulting those who need to be insulted to insulting each other.
So, while I call for the return of Klaus19 and Pig, I also call for the return of really cool member bashing as the national pastime of 667. Sure, it may seem a little cruel, but so is hunting and fishing if you think about it. Which I haven’t because I was too busy insulting a really cool member.
If Hitler taught us anything, it’s easier to be mean to someone whom you think is inferior to someone who is like you. Also, that Germans are terrific dancers.
-Alice.
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Interview Of The Week.[/u]
Betsy, if you're still out there, I have a whole set of interview questions just waiting for you. This week, we interviewed Charlotte.
The 667er: Welcome, Charlotte, thank you for joining us. How long have you been a member of 667?
Charlotte: Since 2003 but I didn't start posting until early 2004. Late ish 2003.
The 667er: What has changed since then? What did you dislike about the past that you like better now?
Charlotte: Um...I don't know. Nothing really. Well now I talk to people. Like Pan and Betsy and Jay and stuff.
The 667er: How do you feel about the banning of Ann and Kate?
Charlotte: I think it sucks and now 667 sucks and it's so boring, I think I've spent more time browsing UE and Gaia.
The 667er: Ouch. Do you still keep in contact with them?
Charlotte: Yeah.
The 667er: That's swell. What's your favourite way to prepare pasta?
Charlotte: With sauce?
The 667er: Your choice, love.
Charlotte: I like pumpkin ravioli at this one restaurant in town.
The 667er: That's the most disgusting thing I've ever heard of in my life.
Charlotte: It's delicious.
The 667er: Which nickname for Charlotte do you like best?
Charlotte: Char, I guess.
The 667er: My brother made a movie about a superhero named Char. It reminds me of you.
Charlotte: Heh, that's special.
The 667er: Well, anything involving you is special, isn't it?
Charlotte: Of course!
The 667er: If you could have a love affair with any member of 667, who would it be?
Charlotte: Any of my wives, most likely Pandora. She's so alluring. OH! I know! Tragi. He's a hot potato.
The 667er: That's one way of putting it. But certainly, I know what you mean.
Charlotte: That's good to know.
Charlotte: I hope you edit this so my spelling's perfect.
The 667er: I sure will. And I'm putting that in the interview.
The 667er: If you could have tea with anyone, alive or dead, who would it be?
Charlotte: Mark Twain. He's my idol, so quotable. I've been looking for MT shirts and action figures, but no luck so far. Hehe, MT.
The 667er: Heh. My other brother was reading a book by Mark Twain and he hated it, which also reminded me of you.
Charlotte: How could he hate anything by Mark Twain?
The 667er: Well, he has a unibrow.
Charlotte: That explains a lot.
The 667er: I thought so. Which member of 667 would you want to switch places with?
Charlotte: In life or online?
The 667er: In life.
Charlotte: Um... I guess Pan because if she would GET HER LICENSE she could meet Kate, and she's a Catholic school girl. Also she's going to college so she won't have to live with her parents. And she doesn't have annoying sisters.
The 667er: So you want to switch places with Panny and have a love affair with her. Have you considered seeing a psychiatrist?
Charlotte: My 4th grade teacher thought I had problems so she suggested it to my dad. Haha, she was a psycho, not me.
The 667er: On that note, have you ever considered Kit Snicket to be a psycho?
Charlotte: I liked her. So no. Well I liked Flannery. So Kit could be I guess.
The 667er: You don't find psychos attractive?
Charlotte: Well Flan was pretty in my mind so psychos could be pretty.
The 667er: Mm, Flan was pretty awesome. Do you think that The 668er will be a successful endeavor?
Charlotte: So far I really enjoy it. As long as I can get people to comment and say that they love it, and I still get to read it, then I think it's a successful endeavor. Did that make any sense? Haha.
The 667er: Chure.
The 667er: Is there anything else you'd like to say to the general public of 667 Dark Avenue?
Charlotte: Just a minute, I'm thinking.
The 667er: Certainly.
Charlotte: I am desperately in love with Pandora in a completely sexual sense, and eat your English muffins!
The 667er: I'll keep that in mind, as I'm sure the rest of 667 will. Thank you, Char.
Charlotte: You're welcome, I know that this interview will touch so many people.
-Libitina.
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Before I start my column, I just want to point out that the 667er is lucky to have such a narcissistic, trigger-happy, fashionable, sexually insatiable woman working as a columnist.
I would also like to tell you that I don't smoke. This cigarette holder is loaded with gunpowder and very small, very lethal bullets. And I'm not afraid to use it.
The topic of today's article is angst.
In Leather, my hometown, there is generally a lot of angst. Detectives angsting about how they're unemployed, girlfriends angsting about how their boyfriend was just beat up by a hired goon, bartenders angsting about how slow it is that night, and probably me or one of my friends angsting about how they just broke a nail killing somebody.
But why did I even bring up the topic of angst?
I was inspired by Very Vacant, a fanfiction written by a shady character who goes only by the initials J. T. B., but his cronies call him Jtb Joker.
It uses the word "broken" ten times, and apparently has the ability to utter from her lips, and not from her voice box. Let's do a word count, shall we?
Abyss: 1
Tears: 2
Torture: 1
Heart: 12
Vast: 1
Blood: 0
Blackness and words relating to it: 0
Shut up: 2
Vampire: 0
Haunt: 1
Soul: 1
Sadness and words relating to it: 5
Eternal: 1
Death and words relating to it: 0
Not bad when it comes to single words, but J. T. B. seems to have been going for variety.
And now I will share my own, most recent story of woe. My sisters and I were at a restaurant, and my bimbonic twin S. told me that she saw the waiter blow his nose in my salad. After I ate it. The following dialog went something like this:
F: You idiot! Sisters are supposed to look out for each other!
S: *shrug* I was too busy painting my nails to tell you before you ate it.
F: I hate you, you're a useless heap of body glitter!
S: Mutually!
F: I feel...ill. And dead.
I didn't seduce anyone in the week that followed, because it's very hard to be sexy when you're lying on the couch, eating chicken soup.
I also have a letter from a girl that I have no desire to associate with, so I'll just throw it at you, and you will pretend that I didn't. If you know what's good for you.
My Story of Angst
It was a day like any other day. My lucky shirt was at the dry cleaner's, so while I was waiting I went to go get a hot dog. I was sitting on the curb, being careful not to spread my legs apart because I was wearing a skirt with no shorts, when I heard a scream so loud that I dropped my wiener. (No double entandra intended.) I was surprised it didn't explode. A doorman came running up, covered in scratches. He said that this crazy cat dame had sic'd her pussies (No double entrandra intended.) on him, and he demanded that I go investigate. I said "No way, buster. Not without my lucky shirt." So we just sat their and angsted about it.
-Ethel, otherwise known as Caliber.
That wraps up my article, since I can't think of anything else to say. I'm too angsty.
Poison kisses,
Sister F.