Post by Akbar Le Grey on Aug 27, 2006 6:37:22 GMT -5
August 27th – September 3rd
Editor-in-Chief: Akbar Le Grey.
Sub-editor: Linda*.
Columnists: Une femme auteur anonyme, Descartes, Jemima, Sixteen*, BSam, Gretchen Skeleton Key, George Dupin.
Published by 667er Publications, ltd.
A subsidiary of the 667er Group.
------------------------------------------------------------------
BY GEORGE DUPIN
And so, 667 Big Brother 4 has come to an end-almost. With the winner being revealed at the end of this article, we shall reflect on the events of the final.
In fourth place was Akbar, with just 11.2% of the vote between the four of them. Akbar claimed he was "very happy" with his placing, also claiming that he had done well, considering he had not posted actively on the forum. But Akbar's eviction revealed that we shall have our second female winner...
About two hours later, third place was revealed, and forum favourite Libitina-better known as Libby-was revealed to have 20% of the vote between the final three, and therefore dropping out of the race. Telling me that she didn't expect to win, Libby expressed her happiness for Jemima and Twistedbrain. When asked for who she'd like win, Libby said she loved them both.
And so, just two housemates were left in the running; Jemima, and Twistedbrain. Both had been housemates from the beginning, and both had been active users, and because of this, Big Brother 4 has had the closest final of all, both of them being lead at one point or another, swapping constantly.
But the winner of 667 Big Brother 4 is, with 57.2% of the vote...
JEMIMA
Congratulations to Jemima, and well done to the runner-up, Twistedbrain! In my article next week, we'll be having an exclusive interview with the winner and the runner up.
-George Dupin.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
SAME RANDOM NUMBERS, DIFFERENT WEEK, LESS FUSS
So we have another of those password-protected boards whose title looks like a blindfolded monkey hit some number keys(the same blindfolded monkey as last time, apparently, working with unusual precision; it's the same numbers as that previous one). The URL, however, is "doom". This is pretty scary-- we may be getting attacked by some eccentric hackers, or Tragedy may be trying to make us think that we're being attacked. Maybe this is some ploy of his to make the stupidest members-- the ones who would most fear a hacking because of something like this-- slink off in terror and no longer flood the more sensible boards with three-word lowercased posts. Or something. At least the threads commenting on the matter appear not to be vanishing, so this completely indecipherable enterprise is being handled better than last time. Much improved higher-up staff members!
Then the mysterious board was relocated to both a different section of the front page and a different URL. It has a section description, which I have Googled to little avail. Frankly, I haven't the patience to try every word I see related to that quote's search results, which include "theisen", "beckett", "trioesquise" and "the".
ALL THE USUAL SUSPECTS GET SUSPECTED AGAIN
Someone named pandamanda was seen mocking Lemony Snicket and our forum (and the fact that we actually enforce a few rules here) in all-caps, although admittedly I wouldn't know she was trying to do that if she hadn't just said so. A supposed "story" of hers in BBooks was locked, after she was apparently told off for typing in all-caps and generally being a nuisance. Naturally, her MMisc thread sprouted seven pages in probably just a few hours, Eggman accused this troll of being fat, Dupin became suspicious of the so-called Plastics, and someone suspected Klaus19. It seems pandamanda was a member of UE.com, and some UE member incited her to make a mess of things over here. Once again, UE has far worsened its reputation.
- Une femme auteur anonyme.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
iii think i was up to inglewood still from the last bit, if i don't write this now i neever will
we had lots of fast foos, mainly hungry jacks, but jack in the box was the other way but we didn't find that til our second last night
we saw the guy from grandadfdy play, he was great, so was his supporting act, i should find out more about that guy whoever he was, betsy heard some of it and she so owes me heaps
we trained to Solana Beach and saw Cracker and Camper Van Beethoven and then ate croissant hot dogs and slept in a park because we were so drunk
best night ever, apart from everything from the croissant hot dogs and after that
the train ride contributerds to that, Ross and Seper(crhist knows what his name really was spelld like so trhis 'll do) and me and luke all had beers o'plenty so by the time we got to solano beach we were already kind of buzzing , thanks ross, yr a star
i breifly met a prostitute but i had to eat my subway so i went bakc to me motel, also,. she was too yucky to pay for sex from
then a bunch of planes, to chicago, nice hotel, pool, plane plane plane home yay oh no my sleeping pattern has gone to buggery what['s goign on?
but yeah, we actually stayed at a nice hotel, and it had a nightclub type thing but they shut just as we got our first drinks, but wel still managed to plauy a game of pool (i lost by one ball)
the next day was our trip to sanfransisco for our international flight home we played travel scrabble and i w/on mostly, because i'm better then luke at that
then i had some mcdonsalds and some cheesecake(key lime pie)_ before our 14 hour trip to sydney
w2we arrived at sydney about 6ish in the moninrg, maybe a bit later, then after customs and all that ruibbusg we strill had half a day to wait before our flight to melbourne and then hobart back hOME!!!
luke couldn't be bothered so $$55 dollars later we had ourselvces tickets to a flight about an hour later straight hobartwards,
thank christ, sydney's a horrible place, didn't wan tto stay there more than nessesary
a short 2 hour flight got us back in the homestate and a lift from lukes woman got me home and yay
-BSam.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
In a thread on July 29th, Sora announced the beginning of the nomination stage for his 2006 Leering Literature awards. Nominations, he told the public, would not be accepted after August 12th. Needless to say, there was a scramble of people trying to get in their favourite books into their favourite categories.
On the 14th, however, the nomination stage actually ended, and the polls were begun. After almost two weeks of running, the voting ended today, August 27th. The results are given below.
Categories and nominations[/u]
Best Series
His Dark Materials by Phillip Pullman
Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
Spiderwick Chronicles
A Series of Unfortunate Events by Daniel Handler
Everworld by K.A Applegate
Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien
The Chronicles of Tom and Hester by Phillip Reeve
Best Mystery
The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown
Angels and Demons by Dan Brown
The Westing Game
Digital Fortress by Dan Brown
From the Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil... by E.L. Koinsburg
Best Science Fiction
I Robot by Issac Asimov
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Brave New World
The Long Dark Tea Time of the Soul by Douglas Adams
A Darkling Plain by Phillip Reeve
Best Author
Ray Bradbury
Phillip Pullman
Daniel Handler
George Orwell
J.K. Rowling
Phillip Reeve
Best Classic Novel of any Genre
Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
Animal Farm by George Orwell
Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy
Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli
Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
Best Fantasy
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince by J.K. Rowling
Sir Thursday by Garth Nix
Lord of the Rings series by JRR Tolkien
Jonoathan Strange and Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clarke
The Amber Spyglass by Phillip Pullman
Best Historical Fiction
Anastasia, the Last Grand Duchess
Best Romance (Novel)
Jane Eyre
Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
Romeo and Juliet by Shakespeare
Best Overall Book
1984 by George Orwell
The Northern Lights by Phillip Pullman
Divine Romance by Parmashanda Yoginanda
The Basic Eight by Daniel Handler
Mortal Engines by Phillip Reeve
Mostly Harmless by Douglas Adams
A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian
A Swiftly Tilting Planet by Madeline L'Engle
Earthsea by Ursula Le Guin
RESULTS[/u]
Best Series
WINNER: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
Best Mystery
WINNER: The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown
Best Science Fiction
WINNER: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams.
Best Author
WINNER: Daniel Handler
Best Classic Novel of any Genre
WINNERS [TIE]: -Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
-Animal Farm by George Orwell
Best Overall Book
WINNER: The Basic Eight by Daniel Handler.
COMMENTARY[/u]
Yet another sweep for Douglas Adams and Hitchhiker, who won both Best Science Fiction and Best Series. Some results, however, were quite surprising. The fact that The Da Vinci Code, which was once considered by most of the forum to be one of the most overrated books ever published, won Best Mystery is proof that the influence of intellectuals (or should I say Intellecteers?) like Ennui has waned greatly in Leering Literature. The section, however, is also one of the few boards Dante still posts in occasionally, so one cannot count the influence as being totally gone. The Handler results are mildly surprising as well, but it seems that we can never fully shake off ASoUE’s influence on the board, no matter how much we pretend to.
One complaint, however, looms large in my mind. What happened to Best Fantasy, Best Romance and Best Historical Fiction? One can see how that last could’ve died due to lack of interest, but the other two are very popular, and both received nominations. Oh well, one assumes Sora has some reason. Congratulations to all the winners, although one doubts any of them (with the exception of Handler) even know (or knew, in the case of Adams) what 667 is.
- Akbar Le Grey.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Sorry, but I can't get an article in this for this week's edition. I'm really busy getting prepared for school and I just can't find the time to get it done.
Sorry again,
Sixteen
---------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------------------------
AUGUST 26TH - Between 11:30 PM and 12:00 AM GMT, the mysterious board 60023101 moved from the top of Ruefully Restricted to the top of Objectionable Other. Not only this, but, at the same time, a description was added. “But I must have said this before, since I say it now…” This is the first information about this board. What could it mean? Is it possible that the description is referring to the last time it was here? For now, this is all the information we have, as there is no moderator or threads. The 667er will keep you updated.
-Descartes.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
The 667er: Welcome, George. Thank you for joining us.
George: No problem. (:
The 667er: You recently hosted 667 Big Brother 4, and the winner is posted in this edition of The 667er. How do you feel about the results?
George: Well, as I'm unbiased, the result wouldn't have been a problem either way. Perhaps Tess was more active than Jemima, but the latter is definatley a worthy winner.
The 667er: How do you think this Big Brother compared to those in the past?
George: I think general contribution hasn't been as much as the past ones for this time, which is a shame, but I think maybe it's due to timing; it was so close to the past one, and the summer is a pretty busy time for most people. I know certainly I was very busy and unable to do my duties as I should have.
The 667er: As a contestant, I think you did a swell job, although things went kind a bit wonky with the Kate/Ann ordeal and your leaving. How do you plan to change things for the next 667 Big Brother, if you do intend to host one?
George: Well, yes, I intend to host a 667 Big Brother 5, but not for a while. Definitely not another one in 2006, and maybe around May 2007, so yeah, quite a while. I think I would just make sure all housemates contribute, and perhaps add a rule that if you don't post enough, you're evicted or something. I think I'll just try to get people more involved, especially people who aren't housemates, and are just interested in reading about it.
The 667er: How did having Linda help change this version of Big Brother?
George: I'm not sure if Linda changed the prospect of it, but she was a lifesaver-she was very efficient and amazing at helping out when I was busy. I hope she enjoyed it, because she did a wonderful job, and she could definitely help again next time if she wants.
The 667er: What is your favourite board on 667?
George: Well, obviously, MM is the centre of like social activities, but I like CC a lot, and of course, my own sections which I moderate. The moderators section is also pretty interesting.
The 667er: Any secrets you'd like to tell the average 667er about the moderators section?
George: I couldn't possibly...well, there’s some things planned for 667 (like the depressing diversions) in the future.
The 667er: What is your opinion on Finland?
George: I don't have an opinion on Finland.
The 667er: Shame on you.
The 667er: How do you feel about the banning of Ann and Kate?
George: I feel it was deserved, but I'm not sure of the details of it-Ann came back, right? I think a few weeks is probably a nice time, but I guess if they continue to break rules as they do then it'll only become longer...I really didn't tolerate their behaviour, as it was probably made *very* obvious on the forum, and they obviously didn't tolerate mine. I don't want to see them around, they don't want to see my around, and that’s fine with me.
The 667er: Mm, Ann did apparently come back for a bit, but she hasn't been online in a while. If you got the chance to meet Ann/Kate in person, what would you do or say?
George: I'd ignore them. I'd rather have nothing to do with them.
The 667er: Are there any other members of 667 that you have a problem with? If so, are you attempting to solve this problem?
George: I was disappointed with how Sora handled the whole Kate/Ann situation, he definatley went down in my estimations. He seemed to be running around like their little lapdog, doing whatever they wanted him to do. I don't really appreciate some of BSam's rude comments directed at people either, but I wouldn't say I have a problem with him, because I think he's normally a nice guy.
The 667er: Do you think your Ann/Kate problems will be resolved?
George: Probably not. I don't think we'll ever see or accept each others side of the stories-I'd like to think I could get where they'd coming from, but I can't. If/when they return, I'll just really try to stay away from them in the future.
The 667er: That is quite unfortunate. Thank you for joining us today, George.
-Libitina.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Before I begin today's article, I would like to give you a warning: First in English, then in pop culture drivel.
No kids allowed, this stuff might corrupt their minds.
NO KIDS PLZ.
SIRIUSLY.
THEIR SCONES R READY BUT THEIR BRAIN IS NOT.
KYLE.
Now that that's over, I highly advise you to disregard my warnings. After all, an eleven year old is writing this.
Are Twins Not The Kinkiest Things in Creation?
The answer is no, meaning that twins are not not the kinkiest things in creation, which means that they are. I mean, look at these maniacs!
Don't believe me? Do a search for "twins" on deviantart. Some are kissing, many are naked, and most are in an erotic position.
Don't get me wrong, I love twins, and triplets as well. I'm a twin myself, although my sister was out of the womb two years before me and lives in Pennsylvania. They make wonderful story devices, and their names are fun to be creative with. And arguably best of all, is that they can bring color to a situation. Do they have an ancient feud dating back to the first twins in their family? Do they adore each other and have separation anxiety? No matter where in the spectrum they are, they can be fascinating.
But can they do it with their shirts on?
To get to the bottom of this, I interviewed two pairs of twins and three triplets.
Interview one:
Me: Hello, and where's your brother?
Waspin: I ate him.
Me: Did you take your shirt off?
Waspin: I had to, my stomach was distended.
Me: Can I dissect you? In the name of science, of course.
Waspin: Is that a double entendre?
Interview two:
Me: Hello, transvesites.
Easta: Hello, child of the earth.
Meetis: Hownow.
Me: Tell me, do you two dress as the opposite sex to fullfill some sort of fantasy?
Easta and Meetis: No.
Meetis: Wearing lace makes me feel empowered.
Easta: It's evolution, you see. The benefits are obvious.
Meetis: Thou shalt.
Me: Can I dissect you?
Easta: Only if you take us out to dinner first.
Interview three:
(I wasn't able to interview the triplets, as their aquatic caravan had already left harbor.)
So, what makes artists want to draw naked twins? The Freudian explanation is that, because their kneecaps are ground up to make plexiglass, we feel dependant on their body parts, and having them in plain view comforts us. What's your explanation? Send it to me and I'll print it in the next issue.
Yours til the tombstone cracks,
Gretchen.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To make an announcement in The 667er, PM editor-in-chief Akbar Le Grey (username=quigleyquagmire)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------