Post by Akbar Le Grey on Feb 4, 2007 16:48:53 GMT -5
EDITION REJUVENATION
February 4th – February 11th
Editor-in-Chief: Akbar Le Grey.
Sub-editor: Linda.
Contributors: Snicket Face, Sixteen, BSam, Gretchen Skeleton Key, Libitina, Sora, George Dupin, Alice.
Published by 667er Publications, ltd.
A subsidiary of the 667er Group.
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On January 28th, several 667ers were surprised by something new they had found at 667. In the bottom left corner of the screen, a new link had appeared, titled “Enter the Penthouse”. When member Sixteen asked about it, wondering if it was a chat room of some sort, Tragedy informed everyone that it was indeed a new chat room. "I'm not sure how long I'll keep it," he said. "It works well, I'm happy with the customizations I can make and earlier I was chatting with like 5 people, but then you have the pop-ups."
Those who have used The Penthouse had quite a bit of praise for it. "It was a very good idea and it really helps to get to know people if you aren't already acquainted," Jenny says. And Gigi points out another advantage of The Penthouse. "I don't do MSN or AIM or other IM services, so it's nice to have when I'm in a conversation with someone," she says. "It's faster than PMing back and forth." Overall, people have been responding very positively.
The Penthouse is not without its problems, though. The largest problem that people have had with The Penthouse is getting it to work. The Penthouse requires Java, and so those without Java are unable to access it. Another common problem is with the pop-ups. Unless a good pop-up blocker is installed, an advertisement will pop up annoyingly every few minutes, and this can make it difficult to have a conversation with someone.
So what does the future hold for The Penthouse? Perhaps we can get a clue by looking at the past. 667 once had a chat room, but it has long since been taken down. A more recent addition was the SayBox, a little box at the bottom of the main screen which people could use to talk to each other. The Saybox was around from December 2005 to June 2006. It was originally very popular, but slowly lost its popularity as people used it to spam and impersonate others more and more. "Pop-under" advertisements were the eventual downfall of the Saybox, and when they began to appear and make it difficult to browse 667, it was taken down.
Will The Penthouse continue to be a popular place to meet? Or will the advertisements make it too difficult to continue? Only time will tell, really. For now, let's enjoy The Penthouse and the opportunities it brings.
-Linda.
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"You never know what is enough, until you know what is more than enough." ~William Blake, Proverbs of Hell
So this is the Rejuvenation issue. OMGWTF. Kudos to Akbardarling for the idea.
Moving on. Today was a snow day. Great, right? Wrong. I still had to go to the college I attend because I had classes today, and although my normal school was closed down, the college wasn't. I had to drag myself out of bed, knowing all of my friends were fast asleep in their beds, and go out into the cold weather and brush off the 4 inches of snow on my car. Thrilling, is it not? Hopefully the next snow day I get I'll actually be able to stay home. What a novel idea.
My general manager makes me really angry. He brought me to tears on Monday. He kept yelling at me for stuff that wasn't my fault, and then made an elitist remark about me behind my back. Which obviously came back to me.
The dates of my N.Y. trip just got changed from Saturday-Monday to Friday-Sunday which totally screwed up my work schedule and spent about a half hour today trying to get someone to take my shift on Friday. Finally I got someone to cover it, but it's probably going to piss of my general manager. But honestly, he can shove it up his ---.
Purevolume is being stupid. It won’t play songs.
So far I've had around 4 classes in French. It's awful. We go over basically the same things every class, I feel so redundant. It's a gruelling two hours long in a classroom that’s about 9 by 12 feet big. Even I feel slightly claustrophobic and I've been inside a clothes dryer before.
On a similar note my Art teacher drones on, and looks like a rat.
My Psych teacher is cool, if nothing else.
Somebody should invent a stain-protected fabric. It would be of much help to me. It seems like I'm always spilling stuff on my clothes. Needless to say, I don't own a lot of white clothing.
I think my wisdom teeth are coming in. It doesn't hurt too bad, but it's just enough to be annoying.
I abhor getting up early. I think no one should be required to get up until 10 a.m.
That’s about it. Have a good weekend everyone, by the time you get this I'll be come back home from N.Y.
Live Dangerously,
SF.
-SnicketFace
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Onward
By Sixteen
Some more information about "The Composer is Dead" has been obtained by Gigi. Apparently, if you're part of a symphony orchestra (or not) you can request a perusal copy of the piece. She received the following:
Composer's Note:
I hope I’m not giving away too much by saying that The Composer is Dead ends with a funeral march...Classical composers have always had a preoccupation with death, partly because we are human, like you, partly because we grapple with the mysteries of the universe, partly because death sells records and always has...Someday you'll be able to tell your grandchildren that you appreciated a living composer before that living composer became, like all composers, dead.
— Nathaniel Stookey
Librettist's Note:
I have been asked if I might say a word or two about the text of The Composer Is Dead, and the one or two words are "Boo hoo." The story — which, as far as I know, is absolutely true — is so heartbreakingly glum that I cannot imagine that you will be able to listen to it without dabbing at your tears with a nearby handkerchief.
— Lemony Snicket
A synopsis of The Composer is Dead
It is discovered at the beginning of the piece that the composer is dead. The Inspector is called in to investigate. He works his way through the orchestra, interrogating them as to where they were on the previous night. Each section, of course, has an alibi. During the delivery of their alibis, each section demonstrates the sound they produce and how they fit into the orchestra.
The Inspector finishes interrogating the entire orchestra but is still puzzled as to who murdered the Composer. I don’t want to give away the ending, in case you get to see this work performed, but in the end the Inspector does arrive at a solution to the crime.
There are tickets on sale for a special performance in Toronto with the Toronto Symphony Orchestra on March 3rd. There is another in Toledo on January 27th.
You can find the TCID thread in Malignant Merchandise.
-Sixteen.
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As I sit in the computer lab, completely ignoring the ebbing throngs of National History Day people who will not understand why I am not giving a fake speech about Oscar Wilde so that I can pass, I cannot help but wonder where else I might be. In my dreams, I think of New York hitting on Jon Stewart, hating on Sarah Vowell and begging Ira Glass for a book promotion. Yet that seems too unlikely.
However, there is one meeting that would be likely. I am Texan, after all, and if there is any place that George W. Bush likes more, it’s Texas. The following is an imaginary interview I secured with the President of the Unite States of America. It takes place in my mind, and that, hopefully, will not allow a libel suit.
---
It is a quiet, dreary January morning in my mind. The birds have gone silent and the lake has iced over. I expect the helicopters and limousines to be arriving any moment.
I can not say it has been an easy seven years. The Bush Administration has angered me many times. Yet I must be calm. I do not need another set of agents watching my house twenty-four seven and leaking secrets of my cocaine abuse to the public.
At last, he’s here. I leave you, tape recorder, to shake his hand and exchange pleasantries. When I get to my hardest hitting questions, I will turn you back on. Quick note to self: Stop talking to tape recorder as though it is a person.
(interview)
ALICE: So, Mr. President. How are you this morning?
BUSH: Good, I s’pose. Would you like some sugar for your coffee?
ALICE: Yes, please. (sounds of sugar being passed) Oh, salsa my recorder is still on--- Wait how do you turn this thing off?
BUSH: I think Sparky’s got one of those. Sparky!
SPARKY: Agent Nuvez, sir. My name is Nuvez.
BUSH: I like Sparky better.
SPARKY: (sigh) Ma’am, why don’t you just keep the recorder on and use it for your interview?
ALICE: That’s probably for the best. All right. Mr. President, I just want to thank you for sitting down with me. I know The 667er is a small e-news magazine and I’m happy for this interview. Other than that, of course, I hate your guts.
BUSH: Well, considering that this is a fictional interview, you’re welcome.
ALICE: Fictional. That’s a big word.
BUSH: It’s the last one I’ll use, I swear.
ALICE: You are aware that I’ve written numerous slash fanfictions involving your death, correct?
BUSH: No.
ALICE: Well, your agents were when I caught two of them rummaging through my garbage.
BUSH: Oh, that’s standard pre-interview procedure.
ALICE: Again, quite an impressive vocabulary.
BUSH: Oh, uh…them agents were just checkin’ up on you. Read the Patriot Act.
ALICE: I thought that was rendered void a few years ago.
BUSH: No, Rover [presidential advisor Karl Rove] told me that he’d inserted something or another. It’s good until 2042 at this point.
ALICE: Right. Anyway, Mr. President, some of the readers may not be familiar with the American political scene. Could you---
BUSH: Excuse me, the entire world is familiar with America’s politics. I’m making sure of it.
ALICE: That you are. But, sir, could you tell the readers what’s been happening recently in America?
BUSH: Huh? Well, uh, just the other week, I gave the State of Union. And that Pelosi chick, she sat behind me. I think she’s Speaker now or something. Dick said she smelled like a French monkey but I had the sniffles that day.
ALICE: Yes. Some people have speculated that you may have exaggerated a few claims in the State of the Union.
BUSH: Who?
ALICE: Just a few internet bloggers. No one in particular.
BUSH: …What-ers?
ALICE: Bloggers.
(pause)
ALICE: They’re like diarists. But instead of writing their daily lives, they give their opinions on matters of state.
BUSH: People want to read my diary?
ALICE: Never mind. Um, the Democrats took the House and Senate in the last election. Your feelings about that?
BUSH: Are you a shrink?
ALICE: I beg your pardon?
BUSH: Are you a headshrinker? When I was in rehab eight years ago, they asked me about my feelings a lot.
ALICE: Wait, Mr. President. You were campaigning eight years ago.
BUSH: Yeah. So?
ALICE: You’re telling me that, eight years ago, while you were vying for political office, you went in rehab?
BUSH: Dick said no more coke.
ALICE: Mr. President, that’s terrible!
BUSH: No, he’s cool with other stuff. Still lets me drink sometimes.
ALICE: You hoped to run our country!
BUSH: No, girlie. I do run our country.
ALICE: Oh my God!
BUSH: And him too. God runs this country with me.
ALICE: Sir, I—
BUSH: Look, I just realized that I shouldn’t have said whatever it was that made you angry. How does a United Nations ambassadorship sound?
ALICE: Excuse me?
BUSH: If you don’t print whatever it is I just said or did, I’ll make you an ambassador.
ALICE: You’re bribing me?
BUSH: Yeah.
(Pause)
ALICE: Ambassadoress.
(the tape ends here)
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Alice Wilde is currently the United Nations ambassadoress of the Mexican island, Cozumel.
-Alice.
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After first being mentioned months and months ago, 667 Deal Or No Deal is finally happening! The programme is famous in many countries across the world, but now it is being brought to 667 Dark Avenue!
Hopefully, every few days, someone will play for the chance for 250,000 imaginary dollars/euros/pounds/etc. But how does it work?
There are 22 amounts of money, from 1p (0.01) to 250,000, before the game they will randomly be organized into 22 different boxes. The player must choose one box to keep as theirs, and then they will open the others. Once a box is opened, whatever amount is inside it will not be able to be won, which means that you want to get rid of the low amounts, and keep the high amounts.
Throughout the game (usually every 3 boxes), ‘the banker’ will make a money offer to you, where you will answer the question ‘Deal Or No Deal?’ If you say deal, then you win the money offer, but cannot win any more, which is great if you have a low amount in your box, but bad if you have a high amount in your box (which you do not find out until the end). If you say no deal, then you continue playing!
For the first ever game of 667 Deal Or No Deal, here is The 667er’s excellent editor, Akbar!
ROUND ONE
Akbar chooses:
Box 18, which contains 5
Box 13, which contains 20,000
Box 17, which contains 100,000
Box 4, which contains 1000
Box 15 which contains 75,000
The Banker offers Akbar 8,000
Akbar says: NO DEAL
ROUND TWO
Akbar chooses:
Box 10, which contains 10
Box 21, which contains 3000
Box 2, which contains 10,000
The Banker offers Akbar 10,000
Akbar says: NO DEAL
ROUND THREE
Akbar chooses:
Box 3, which contains 50,000
Box 22, which contains 35,000
Box 14, which contains 50
The Banker offers Akbar: 5000
Akbar says: NO DEAL
ROUND 4
Akbar chooses:
Box 8, which contains 1p
Box 19, which contains 250
Box 11, which contains 50p
The Banker offers Akbar: 15,500
Akbar says: DEAL
ROUND 5
Akbar would have chosen:
Box 16, which contains 15,000
Box 12, which contains 1
Box 20, which contains 500
The Banker would have offered Akbar: 15,500
Akbar dealt at: 15,500
ROUND SIX
Akbar would have chosen:
Box 6, which contains 100
Box 9, which contains 10p
Box 1, which contains 250,000!
The Banker would have offered Akbar: 2000
Akbar dealt at: 15,500
Box 7 (Akbar’s Box) contained: 5000
Akbar dealt at: 15,500
The most money Akbar could have won was: 15,500
A victory against the banker!
LEADER BOARD
1-Akbar-Game 1-15, 500 (5000 in box)
-George Dupin.
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