Post by Akbar Le Grey on Mar 4, 2007 15:56:47 GMT -5
March 4th - March 11th.
Editor-in-Chief: Akbar Le Grey.
Sub-editor: Linda*.
Contributors: Robert, Jemima, Dismay, J., VeridianEyes, Spoony.
Published by 667er Publications, ltd.
A subsidiary of the 667er Group.
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[Editor’s Note: He sent this to me yesterday, in the morning, before it all happened. I print it out of respect, out of sorrow; in memoriam. Our prayers are with you, Robert, wherever you are.]
Hey guys, it's been a while. I only really write like once in a blue moon anymore and I guess that's a bad thing; I've been co-whatever of the 667er like three times and it feels like every time I just don't do anything. Maybe I'm just lazy and don't deserve the position in the first place, who knows? But in any case, it always feels good to be in that position of power.
You know what I do deserve though? I should be Menacing Miscellaneous mod. I mean, Snicket's not in power anymore, right? MM's the only place I go, really, besides Chaotic Creativity and I've been here for like 2 or 3 years, I think. So naturally, I should be next in line as heir to the throne. Besides, me and J get along pretty well, it'd be easy for us to work together, right?
I don't know. I really haven't been feeling as happy lately and ever since I've started trying to be a good person it feels like my life's been paying off less. I guess nice guys finish last and all that, but I never really expected it to be true, you know? It doesn't really feel like you guys like me as much anymore now that there isn't really anything special about me and God knows people offline don't respect you if you don't have some sort of power over other people. Care to prove me wrong, 667?
Well, that's really it for now. Maybe I'll write next week, maybe I won't; I'm a kind of flaky guy.
-Robert.
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“I'm starting to miss all of those pornographic fics that Olivia posted.”
Last year, those words were the harbinger of Weird Ships Week, a week-long festival started by Dupin and suggested by Alice (like it was this year). With 667 hitting a sort of slump, we need all the ideas we can get to liven it up a bit. Last year, Weird Ships Week occurred February 23rd. We're a little late this year, but who cares? We're going to raise the bar. Weird ships are not limited to A Series of Unfortunate Events, but include Harry Potter, His Dark Materials, Hitchhiker's Guide—basically any fandom that's popular to 667, and Weird Ships Week will be not just a week long, but an indefinite amount of time long.
In addition, awards will be given out this year. (The award being an article written about the author of the fic in the issue of The 667er that's released after WSW.) I have several categories planned:
Person Who Wrote the Most Amount of Weird Ship Fics
Person Who Wrote the Weirdest Ship
Best Written Fic
Best Written (or anyone who writes):
Cho/Myrtle
non-consensual Ford/Arthur
Harry Potter/Klaus
Filch/Mrs. Norris
Jim/Angela
Barry Zuckerkorn/Bob Loblaw
Larry Mittleman/Buster/Gob
non-consensual Olaf/Hector
Colette/Kevin/Hugo
So get writing, people!
-J.
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Welcome to Jem's Random Article! The column where Jemima talks about anything that happens to be on her mind. This week, the topic is:
STYES IN THE EYES.
Owwwww. Two days ago I developed a stye. High school stresses everybody out, including me. Therefore, I am tired a lot, so I rub my eyes. Icky bacteria somehow got in my left eye, so my eye got all puffy, and, now, here I sit writing about how much styes hurt.
Having a stye feels like having a bruise with pus in it, and every time you blink, it makes your eye go numb. This is the first time I've actually had a stye before, but I have come close to getting one in the past.
I never really knew what one was before, but now I do. A stye is a pimple on your eyelid. Lovely, eh? How'd you love to pop a stye, and all the pus blew out and got in your eye, and all you could see was thick, yellow, curdle-like film the rest of the day?
Now you know how I feel. However, I'm not dumb. I would never pop a stye. It would probably make me cry.
Yesterday, it was so painful to blink that I had to go to the school's health center for care. I still didn't know what a stye was, but the nurse checked it out. She made me put "hydro cortisone" on my eyelid and hold an ice pack on my eye for the next hour.
Everyone stared at me, as if I had gotten a black eye from a fight or something. Society has a way with dealing with the injured: stare at them, make them feel uncomfortable, and then put shame onto them for being sick. But I'm tough, so they didn't make me feel shameful. I just told about fifteen people what was wrong and they walked away.
I have to wear my glasses until it goes away. No more contacts. Argh. My back-up glasses are so ugly and make me feel meek.
Remedies for styes
My friend J. told me he had a stye too, and tried helping me by giving me advice on how to make it go away: drain a hot teabag and put it on your eye. Mmmm, my eye really wants some green tea right now! The flavoring is so delicious. My eye is very talented. She can drink tea! Nothing like tea on the eye.
Likewise I didn't even try, but I went home and read about how to exterminate it. There is a key weapon to it, which is something called patience. Apparently I have to wait for another week until it leaves me alone, which is fine, because it's already started to part from my beautiful eyes. Oh stye, how I will miss thee ;-; NOT. My eyelid is still swollen and beet red.
Please, please, please, PLEASE promise me you will try to never get a stye. They hurt like the devil and don't let you blink. Imagine being forced to be a participant of a week-long staring contest.
*blinkblink* OWWWWW ooo OHHHH stupid stye!
-Jemima.
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So, after reading the latest Guardians of Ga'Hoole book, I have decided something: I believe that Scholastic (and other publishers) is using the book length to tell the age-appropriateness of the books. How do I believe this? I have evidence (from the Ga'Hoole books):
1. The books have complicated plots, which can be very difficult for younger readers to follow
2. The books have strong influences from and allude to certain periods in history, even Biblical (Old Testament, the author is Jewish) history. Worship of a false idol (book twelve) is one, the Holocaust and World War Two are others (throughout the books).
3. Certain themes in the books are hard for younger children to understand, and an entire different dialect and a large vocabulary are used.
4. The books are 150-250 pages in length.
5. The books are deemed appropriate for ages eight to twelve (but I'm seventeen, and my parents are in their forties, and they love the books).
See my point?
So, I say, don't trust the publisher.
Also, I have decided that what book stores call the Young Adult section means "Section in which books with themes that can be adult but a word count that is small and a main character with an age of 12-20 years old are sold".
So I have decided if I ever publish something, I'm publishing it on my own.
Ok, so ends my small comment.
-Dismay.
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You have blonde hair
But you say it is brown
It looks golden to me
But you tell me it is dark like a frown.
And you say you carry hazel eyes
Yet to me, they look like a raven surprise.
Your smile is sweet
The whistles it sings can hold a very good beat.
Your teeth are not perfect
But that won't cause conflict
Because I love you how you are
No matter how much you hate your scars.
And if I could ever see you again
How the memories would remain
I can't feel your pain
You don't have any
You are so full of beauty.
To hold you and have you
I would say 'I do.'
Would you?
Because if you didn't want to
Our love would never be true
You look so tired
How could I make you inspired?
Your voice for me is desired
All the love acquired
I want to talk to you.
You do not love me
But I love you
You make me feel free.
I even write you poetry.
But you don't hear, since you never listen
You choose to ignore, which causes division
Do you want to be with me?
As do I?
Your handsome disposition makes me cry.
-VeridianEyelashes.
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Do you need advice?
Ever wanted some agonizing advice from Lemony Snicket? Well, now, you can actually get it. Whether you need advice on escaping from hungry leeches, building flying machines or telling between good and evil, Mr. Snicket has all the answers, drawn from his own rather diverse experiences. Reputable sources rave that he has cured ‘literlla ytens of people’ – people just like you!
So pick up that trembling little finger of yours and click on the links below to find out more:
lemonysnicket.com/AskSnicket/
Advice Form
-Akbar Le Grey.
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Spoony's Thought of the Week
i just realized that swear words offend some people. I thought everyone swore, with people's langauge today. god. i mean, it's just words! they don't really mean anything, unless the context of the word is offending, like headphones, or dishwasher or daycare center.
NOTE: the censor wasn't on, I just put it on cuz i think it's still funny
Spoony's Game of the Week
YOU GUYZZZZ HAVE BEEN VERY VERY VERY BADDD. you never send me answers to my games or anything. I gave you two whole weeks, but nuthin. thanks a ton. so, for this week, I'll just do this:
Whoever answers these two questions WINS. PWNS. OWNS. here are the questions:
1. What is your username?
2. Who is your favo(u)rite band?
do that and you automatically win something. dunno what, but it's a win win situation. you don't lose.
but you.....
DIE IF YOU DON'T ENTER. THEREFORE Y'ALL SHOULD.
-Spoony.
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Hi all.
I really don’t feel like talking. Please pray for Robert.
Peace out,
Akbar.
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