Post by Cafe SalMONAlla on Dec 10, 2012 7:56:52 GMT -5
All Hell Breaks Loose: A 667 Christmas Tale.
This is my first attempt at a "traditional" 667 fic. Dedicated to every 667er I know, who make my experiences on here continually awesome, just by existing. Also, don't be offended by how you're portrayed. In a fic with a title like this it was suitable. Besides, I love 667ers to bits.
This is my first attempt at a "traditional" 667 fic. Dedicated to every 667er I know, who make my experiences on here continually awesome, just by existing. Also, don't be offended by how you're portrayed. In a fic with a title like this it was suitable. Besides, I love 667ers to bits.
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Tragedy wondered if there was an impatient emoticon available for use. It was Christmas day, almost time for lunch, and 667ers were due to start arriving. Trag had a massive urn, lugged in from the entrance hall, sitting on the chair at the head of the table. He also had a big filing cabinet, lugged in from the next room, on the chair beside it. He didn’t want anyone taking his chair, and he was adamant that no one but Sophie sit beside him. Trag went to check if there were any impatient emoticons. There weren’t. He put on an eye-rolling one instead, because he felt like rolling his eyes at the lack of provision for impatience on the part of the… Emoticon Deities, he guessed they were called.
It wasn’t long before people started arriving. BSam was first. Trag had asked him to please come early to provide the alcohol. BSam tipped through the doorway, ready to collapse. He had an unpleasant surprise because he had intended to drape himself over the entrance hall’s urn, thereby not falling to the ground and getting a whack on the head. He stood up slowly, and demanded to know where the hell the urn had gone. Tragedy said it was needed elsewhere and demanded to know whether BSam had or had not forgotten the drink.
Eventually, Trag had to help drag the crates in, which he had been hoping to avoid having to do. Just as they had shut the door and started to look about for materials with which to construct a pulley system for getting the huge drinks crates to the kitchen without muscle strain, Hermes, Lady Grantham and Sherry Ann arrived. Hermes leaned on his cane, adjusted his monocle, and watched BSam and Tragedy work. LadyG carefully explained pulley systems through the ages, followed by descriptions of both famous and obscure pieces of visual art involving transportations of crates. Sherry Ann pointed out the old trolley sitting in a corner of the entrance hall, which no one had noticed. “Oh, right,” said BSam sheepishly.
Speaking of which, Sixteen arrived next, with Pandora and Willis. BSam came back from storing the drink and announced, “Trag, as we all know, has abandoned all use of actual words, or indeed letters. Therefore, I, on his behalf, suggest we all start on the bon bons, because I don’t think he can manage to convey that in emoticons”. Bryan, Bee and Sophie arrived right then. “So Bee, I don’t think there’s –“ Sophie was cut off in the middle of what she was saying as Tragedy yanked her without a word through the doorway toward the table. There was the sound of thudding and scraping as he removed the placeholders that had been on their seats. Everyone else shrugged and followed them in.
“Uh, shouldn’t there be food on the table?” Bee asked. “Oh, Trag will probably bring it out in a second,” said Sixteen. “If he doesn’t break his arms moving that urn,” he added. “That’s where the urn is!” BSam exclaimed. “Dammit, why wasn’t it by the door to be draped over?” “Do you know what Trag is actually planning for lunch?” Bryan asked BSam. “Isn’t it a bit of an early lunch?” said Bee surprised. “Yeah, mayBee it should be Brunch,” said BSam with considerable “wasn’t-that-just-the-best-joke-ever-and-aren’t-I-fabulous-and-wasn’t-the-UrbanDictionary-page-right-about-me?” attitude. “Punz,” said Bryan, pleased. “Write. Puns are the best,” replied BSam.
Pen arrived next, talking to anyone who would listen about albums. After that, a huge flood of people came at once, including Dante, who looked doubtful about setting foot in MMisc, which was the area in which Trag’s apartment was situated. He nervously stood next to Hermes and Sherry Ann. Trynia arrived next. She suddenly ran over to someone or other in the crowd and congratulated them. “Hm? What for?” the person asked. “667 posts!”
When everyone was seated around the table, Tragedy made a little speech, whishing everyone a merry Christmas, or a happy day if they weren’t celebrating that particular holiday, and hoping they would enjoy the meal. Or, at least, I suppose that was the subtext behind " ”. It was hard to tell. The meal began smoothly enough – Dante didn’t break out in hives or get a swollen tongue from spending more than twenty seconds in MMisc. Bryan stayed alive. BSam didn’t fall over or pun.
At least a minute passed before Lucas threw a gif at Trynia. Trynia banged angrily on the table. A few glasses broke. Dante covered his eyes. Lady Grantham started on political events similar to the one unfolding in front of them. Violet Marie began an imitation of Michelle Denouement. Quags started on social norms. Lucas threw another gif. Trag emoticon-ed at Sophie. Sophie nodded tolerantly. Bee hugged her, and threw a <3 in the air. It hit a wine bottle, and Terry Craig, inspired, threw an asterisk, and that landed in the salad. Dante suddenly needed the bathroom.
LSWannaBe fangirled unexpectedly about someone for no apparent reason. Trag emoticon-ed at Sophie so much that he nearly got RSI in the eyelid. Presently, Dante peeked nervously back in around the door. He sighed, and leaned against the doorframe. LSWannaBe amorous reverie eventually made her fall off her chair. Pen was still on about albums and Lucas and Trynia were still arguing.“Well”, said Sophie, “it won’t be long until you’re married”. Trynia shouted “WHUT?” and Lucas threw a few indignant gifs at her. She ducked and one hit Bryan in the head, killing him. “Ah well, he’ll be back up again at midnight,” everyone said nonchalantly. Tragedy made an angry emoticon because there were no really good nonchalant ones around.
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